I thought you loved me
Showing unfathomable amounts of passion
Understanding me on unreachable levels
Accepting me for me
And then you vanished
Stranding me with thoughts of anguish
Questioning, what I did wrong
You abandoned me
Leaving me empty with 3 words in your wake

What is love?

Being alone is what scared me the most
But then you came
We hugged, we loved, we grew
Then you left
And lonely is what I ended up being

I put a smile on my face
In attempt of hiding my mental race
Assuring people I will be fine
Feeding them with every false line
They expect me to let them in again
Figuring their tears in me were amend

I realized its time to start thinking about me
And leave my home under the level of the sea

As I grow up I will face many challenges in my road
I will forget who I am, have my first heartbreak, and lose some friends
That road seems rough and I know I will have a hard time crossing it
But I'm thankful I have a beautiful, strong, courageous and independent Mother
To help me get through my battles
To help me get through life not only as my mother,
But as my best friend

We are so mislead by the construct of society that we forget how to breath

I craved you
I craved your lips
The way I fit against your hips
I craved your scent
And hated when you were absent
Until one day you walked away
And I was forced to face nothing but today

-EC

When you walked out the door
I fell to my knees entreating
Baby, please!
I begged for you to come back
And did everything I could to have you
But having you came with a price
My dignity

An unfaltering hunger burned through me
An undesirable need to be near you
You were my living, breathing drug
That I just couldn't seem to get enough of

-EC

When your hands would roam
I got this tingle of want
A want that couldnt be exposed
For you were my guilty pleasure
My secret

The way you looked at me
With water drops clinging to your lashes
Built a fire of desire
That only you could tame

As still as a flame in the wind was our relationship
Wild, Deranged, a Soft dance
Flickering in and out of existence

Walking through the gate was frightening
Being surrounded by older, taller, more experienced people
Afraid of the never ending halls
Afraid of getting lost on my journey from class to class
Terrified of the work and the new people I would soon greet

Middle of the year was like being caught in the eye of a thunderstorm
The chaos, the friendship, the drama, the work
Oh the work!
At times I thought I would crack
Just shatter to the floor, unable to continue
I lost hope that I would make it

Often I felt doubt
On who I was, how I looked, how I acted
I even lost courage in myself because I didn’t know what I wanted
Even if I did, I wouldn’t know where to start to achieve it
I gave up trying, thinking how could I even compete
When these older, taller, more experienced people already know

By the end of the year as I walk out the gates to leave
I soon realized I didn’t have to worry and lose hope,
Because even though these people are older and taller,
Doesn’t mean they know what they want or how to get it either

We make these scars to hide how we feel because we are to afraid to say something real.

I pondered the question
How do I move on?
Wondering how my heart will continue beat
How my lungs will continue to breathe
After you left because you were my everything

You were perfect
With your perfect porcelain body
Your perfect glass eyes
Your perfect authentic brown hair
But perfect just isn't for me
I prefer imperfect so we can perfect eachother together

I stare at myself in the mirror
Picking and degrading every single curve, bump, and blemish
Labeling myself as unworthy of human affection

Degrading what I physically cannot change
And hating what I can change but chose not to

I am quick to blame myself for the littlest of things
And say sorry more than I probably should
Even for the things I had no part in

I set these barriers almost impossible to penetrate
But I dwell on the smallest of things said about me
Letting them tear me down mentally until I give in and believe them

But in this world
In this society
In this generation
All we can do is try to build our walls higher and higher

Until we are finally tired of building

I tried to wash off your lies with the soap of truth
Scrubbing my skin to a raw fleshy pink

I tried to sew your figured wounds with the velvet ribbon of betrayal
Stitching my scars to be unforgettable regrets

I tried to heal from your deceit
Bracing myself for a long road ahead

-EC

Jagged is what I became after hearing the way you talked about her
Envisioning you caressing her peachy skin
Applying my visions to thoughts made my stomach churn
Lust became my weakness
Obsessed with the sight of your eyes looking into my soul, I was
Unsatisfied with our situation, I began to scream, as a
Savage rage started to build, growing higher and higher

-EC

Society was the cell
Self doubt was the lock
My thoughts were the chains
My insecurities were the steel door
And confidence was the key
-EC

Offers strength, hope
Beauty
Soft growing compassion
Intense, spontaneous, strangely
Unexpected
Leaving you daring,longing for more
Building a powerful bond of
Trust, tears, pure sadness, blind exotic
Determination
Love

Close your eyes
She said
Now think of your worst and best day together as one*
As I rummaged through my memories I could only think of one day

The day I realized my love for you would never fade  

-EC

To many mistakes have led to this;
A point of desperation and lack of self worth.

Escaping the light, the two of us, together
Running from our dreadful reality
Searching for our home in the dark
Where our demons can play,
A place where we can be ourselves
Stealing moonlight kisses

The sight of you brought my words
Your lips brought my lines
Your eyes brought my poems
Your voice was my inspiration
Your presence was my muse
But then you abandoned me
Leaving me with a notebook, a pen and my own thoughts

Do not give me a fresh rose
give me one that has crusted leaves and a brown stem
because my heart is telling me
that I can not handle to watch another life fade

I opened my ears and heard you say
I don't love you anymore
I thought I would come crashing down
But I guess seeing is believing
And what I saw was once a dark gloomy world
Turn into a bright vibrant masterpiece