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Ashna Alee Khan Aug 2016
And from the very first day,
I knew that you were fire,
but I didnt cared because
I loved you at that time and you seemed like my whole world
but when I became fire and thought we would be a perfect match
but at that time you became flowing water and then we became two different things and went away.
Ashna Alee Khan Sep 2016
Kabhe pucha hay apnay app say kay tumnay kitnay waday torhay hein?
kabhe pucha hay apnay app say kay kitnay logouin ka dill tora hay?
kabhe pucha hay apnay app say kay tumnay apne eik nazar say kis kis ko apne he
nazrouin mein gerayya hay?
- nae pucha nah? kese din pucho gay nah tou mrnay ka dill chahy ga, zindage kay
naam say chirnay lago gay.
Kabhe pucha hay kay tum Zindage kay naam per eik beyqaar zindage jee rahay
hou? aur phir kehthy hou ''yaar kya krien zindage he esse hay''. Kabhe Zindagi
ke kitaab ko khol kr tou dekho kya kya rakha hay uiss mein. Zindage bahot he
haseen hay sirf hum masroof hein apne duniya mein wou duniya jis mein kuch
nahe sawaye humaray. Ajj loug dusrouin ke mintein krtay hein kay ''ruk jau''
''na jau'' jb kay mery khayaal mein ye loug bhul chukay hein kay '' jis ko jana hay
uis ko jana hay chahy tum apne jaan kyun na deh dou''. Ajj tou logouin ke
zindage andhere hojaate heh jab koe uinka ''dost'' ya ''yaar'' chor jaye aur wo uis
khuda ko bhool jaatay hein jis nay uis ko usse ''dost'' ya ''yaar'' say milaya tha.
Hum loug tou apnay Khuda ko bhe bhul chukay hein. Wo Khuda jis kay pass
humnay waapis jana hay wo Khuda jis kay bagheir humare koe ukaat nae.
Barhay Unchay gharouin mein reh reh kr apnay app ko Khudha samjhna shuru krdeya hay humnay.
Ess zamaanay mein koe kese ka Dost nae hota barha Dost Dost krtay hou na jab doob rahay hou gay
kudhe dekhna kay sab DOST tamasha dekh rahay hogein aur tum zindage ke tarf aanay ke bher-poor
koshishein kr rahay hou gay, tab apnay app say puchna kay ye wo DOST thay jin kay leye tum apnay
maa-baap say laray? uin kay samnay uncha bolay? sharmindage hoi? Ajj hum itnay ''self-obssessd''
hein kay dusrouin ko dekh kay lagta hay chunte jitni ukaat hay uiss ke. Hum apne he Duniya mein
bahot dur nikal aayein hein, asal duniya say bekhabar, asal dostouin say hum la-taluq ** chukay hein.
Hum ajj apnay app mein he kho chukay hein. Apnay rab ko humnay kho deya. Rab ko kho deya matlab
Sub kuch kho deya  ! tou abb hamaray pass koe raasta hay?
-Haan wou rab 5 martaba bulaata hay tumhein apne taraf, jau uiss ke taraf aur apne ASAL ZINDAGE
ke taraf waapse aou.
Ashna Alee Khan Aug 2016
And in those lonely nights
where love is long lost your ghost is always found.
Ashna Alee Khan Nov 2016
I am lost within her gaze

And I melt in her arms

Her call leaves me breathless

Her touch leaves me senseless

All I could do now is watch her take my breath away.
Ashna Alee Khan Aug 2016
In my whole life,
I've never seen such a beauty like hers
such a fragile face,
with million of emotions hidden behind those deep eyes
so much she wants to say but can't,
the world doesn't give her permission to speak it all out,
so she keeps it all inside her head
and tries to stay quiet
but she doesn't know that,
her eyes is telling what she's not speaking .
Ashna Alee Khan Dec 2017
“There’s no hope left for us,” I’m told as I splash water in my blood shot eyes.
“If we don’t leave this house we are sure to die!
You may think we are crazy and possibly a little high,
but I assure you we are very wise.”

I’ve been summoned to this strange old house to help out a family in need.
After hearing the panic and concern in their voices over the phone, I immediately agreed,
something evil is living in this house.
Something evil is lurking here and causing a rouse.
I know evil well and it knows me by name.
It’s a fact I’m proud to admit and won’t hide away in shame.

The fiend that haunts this place is waiting to confront me, I can feel its presence.
It thinks it’s going to intimidate me and control me but I’m here to teach it a lesson.
I’m here to provide this poor family with peace and solitude.
I assure the family all will be alright but they don’t appear to be in a believing mood.

The family leads me to a bedroom and stops at the door.
They look at me, their eyes filled with fear, I wonder what I have in store.
They show me a camera with pictures of orbs they tell me is evidence of paranormal activity.
They tell me they refuse to enter this room anymore since the air is always filled with negativity.
I tell them I believe them because I sensed the fiend’s presence when I walked into the house,
and tell them I will have a look around the room myself and will get to the bottom of their problems once and for all.

I enter the bedroom alone.
The door closes behind me, I’m now in the fiend’s home.
Chills and a sense of hopelessness immediately overcome me.
To my right is a closet; I sense something inside urging me to flee.
The fiend haunting this room is in that closet.
I wonder if it’s too late for this family to get back their security deposit
because this fiend has come straight from hell and is pure evil.
It’s going to try to intimidate me but it’s about to find out I’m not so feeble.

I turn my attention to the room and begin to look around.
The room is for the most part empty except for a bed and a poster of…a creepy clown?
Just why is that poster even here?
It’s a very creepy sight to endear.

There is a clock hanging on the wall that tilts on its side the second I look at it.
A mild scare tactic I must admit.
I walk over to the clock and move it back in place
only to have it move back over on its side again.
Once again I move the clock back in place.
I stare at it waiting for it to once again become displaced.
Instead, the hands stop moving and begin to reverse.
No wonder this poor family thinks this room is cursed.

With time now moving backwards on the clock, the bedroom windows behind me fly open loudly.
I turn around and notice the clown on the poster smiling at me all proudly.
I flip off the clown and ask the fiend if this is the best he has got.
He believes he can scare me, but in fact he cannot.
I’ve been battling this fiend for over a decade so I’m use to his games by now.
Intimidation tactics is something I just don’t allow.
Time to show yourself fiend and bring the games to an end.
Come face me like a man, after all I am your long time best friend.
This family is innocent and has nothing to offer you that you don’t already get from me,
so give me your worst and let’s get back to how things are meant to be.
Fight after fight, battle after battle, war after war until I reach my final day,
then you can watch as my cremated ashes are caste away out in the bay.

The closet door creeks open as my friend is finally ready to come out and play.
I fold my hands together and pray.
This dark beast is not match for the light of my father.
It’s time to face off again and establish order in this house.

The fiend appears from inside the closet.
He slowly steps out; I think he’s trying to be modest.
He is a dark shadowy figure, as dark as a moonless night time sky.
His eyes burn in red as he snarls at me wishing I would just die.
He wants nothing more than for me to bite the bullet and join him on the other side.
However, that won’t ever happen, I contain just too much pride.

I smile and wave at my friend and ask him how he’s been.
He stares angrily at me without as much as a grin.
I point my finger at him and motion to him to follow me.
It’s time for him to come home with me and allow these people to get back to the lives they are meant to have.
I exit and bedroom and tell the family there is no need to contact a priest to perform an exorcism.
I tell them to continue readying the bible and to believe what they were taught in catechism.
The fiend will no longer be a problem for them and the room will once again be safe to enter and use.
I hand them my book and tell them it will answer all of their questions as long as they approach it with an open mind and don’t get offended by it and decide to come after me with a noose.
I write the truth and the book is meant to help.
I give them permission to contact me at any time if they have any future questions.

My eyes open as I lie in my bed surrounded by the darkness of the night.
I look at my alarm clock and see that it’s 3 am, that explains the lack of light.
I sense evil all around me, my friend is back home where he belongs.
I swear I can hear him humming a song.
I look over to my bedroom door that is cracked open and see him standing outside the room.
He smiles at me ready for our endless war to resume.
Ashna Alee Khan Aug 2016
AND i saw her dancing in the rain,
How gorgeous she was,
her eyes were shining like a bright sun...
her hair fliping over and over,
taking my breATH AWAY.
HER ANGELIC FACE ATTRACTING ME TOWARDS HER,
HER DELICATE AND CURVY BODY MOVING,
HOW ADORABLE !
SHE WAS DREAMLIKE
AND WHEN I WENT CLOSER SHE JUST VANISHED,
AND THEN I HEARD A WHISPER SAYING ME
''IM YOUR DREAM ONLY JUST LIKE OTHER MEN DREAM OF SUCCESS''.

-8/10-16
Ashna Alee Khan Aug 2016
It's really cold
and
I'm really tired

I'm restless at the same time,
though
I remain uninspired.

Hope draining from my eyes
like
the tide out to sea.

Placed on a bed of wilted flowers
with
a white sheet covering me.
Ashna Alee Khan Aug 2016
Its been two years
and im still asking you,
are we still there?
I dont know why but you are always looking out for other girls,
I wont lie to you but they are just not right for you.
I want you to give me stars , the moon but you cant give me your time,
how can you give me the moon and the stars?
are we still there?
Ashna Alee Khan Aug 2016
My mind is numb,
my soul is numb,
my body is numb.
All I could do is to
drink and think of you.
All I'm left out with is
that bottle of Jack Daniel's
and last night memories.
Do you remember that night?
when we sat under the Moon,
hands in hands, taking promises
from each other and taking promises
from love, not to leave us alone.
I remember where stars took us,
I remember we sat on the edge of
that waxing crescent and talked
about our dreams, passion, love
and about us.
I remember the wind
was so wild and young,
I remember how the wind
danced with us.
But now that we are not there today,
the moon is going to bleed,
so have you packed your things
and are you ready to die?
Ashna Alee Khan Mar 2017
Broken,
worned out,
Lost,
and you made me feel so unwanted,
and now as I sit here,
all alone,
I think of our times, our moments,
how we used to enjoy our time,
but now it's ending,
I'm watching it fading away,
I'm watching us going in the wrong direction.
I know,maybe I'm also to blame but,
If you wouldn't have gone for too long,
I wouldn't have lost my mind.
Ashna Alee Khan Aug 2016
I see him at his best
but I also see him at his worst.
I see him when he can't stand the world
and when he can't stand himself.
I see him when he yells for nothing
and when he yells for everything.
I see him when everything goes from fine
to crashing down around him.
I see it
but I can't stop it.
Ashna Alee Khan Aug 2016
Feelings fade,
people change,
Happiness becomes part of our past,
Sadness becomes part of our daily routine
and then we get lost in our own darkness,
believing that we'll live again but the bitter truth is
that we dont live again,
instead of living again,
we die again and again.
Our souls are killed by our own hands
and then we ask
'' Am I the murderer of my happiness?''
and then the reply comes
-''you know the answer very well'' .
Ashna Alee Khan May 2017
For all the times I hated myself,
For all the lies that came out of your mouth,
For all the pain I ever felt,
For all the punches below the belt,
For all the times I had to fight,
For all the tears I cried at night,
For all the scars I inserted,
For all the secrets you blurted,
For all the times I took your part,
For all the times you broke my heart,
For all the times we were involved,
For all the problems unresolved,
For all the wounds that never healed,
For all the parts of me you killed,
For all this time I lived in the past,
From this time on I am free at last.
Wrote this poem at 3. am
Ashna Alee Khan Jun 2017
There is a poem I have yet to write,
For how does one write what only the heartless can feel?
I speak with shards of my memory,
For I am simply a shell of what once was.
I love with my blood draining from my veins to write life, love in the empty white spaces.
I am incapable of extracting my soul from the gallows where it remains chained to my hast been.
But one can pretend to comprehend the foreign language that is my one and only fear.. love...
For love is tempting and even the empty long for impossibility.
I can say I love you in a emotionless and heartfelt tone.
For I love you in my own coldness, seeing hope is still resting on one side of your ruins, while mine was emptied long ago.
I need not feed your ears or your heart lies to speed you to recovery, but am content to give you the tiny morsels of me that remain so that your wounds May bare only scars in remembrance.
I unlike you bare no signs of redemption, so I freely give you what is still free of rot and withering so that you may live with me.
I am simply and only a shell with little crystals to give,
For love once passed through me walking away with my soul, and love is now far beyond the reach of my door.
Ashna Alee Khan Aug 2016
I'm here again,
standing defeated
oh, how can you do this to me?
I don't have control over me,
now where am I gonna find love ?
where am I gonna find my home?
where in this huge world?
come on now, help me .
Ashna Alee Khan Oct 2016
I buried you today
Now it's time to walk away
And leave this all behind.
A life that once held sunshine
Is black and full of hate
As I buried you today
I took everything you once gave me
And I put them in the grave
When I buried you today.
Every memory, every picture
Everything that was you
I put in a box and I buried
That box with you.
"Yes"
I buried you today
Ashna Alee Khan Mar 2017
I don't want you to be his,I don't want anyone around,except for me and some of your friends.I don't want you to go in any relation with any other guy except for me.
You ask me the reasons why I don't let you with any other guy?Here you are,I don't let you go because I'm **** insecure and scared that what if that guy takes my place? what if he makes you fall in love with him? what if he makes you more happy? Moreover, I don't want you with any other guy because I can't see you both especially you building up a bond with him,a strong bond, which shares love,happiness,tears,secrets and jokes. I can't hear you saying any guy "I love you". I'll die at that day, when your gaze will meet any other's guy sharing some small secrets which we share. I don't want you to be anyone else because I can't see you kissing his cheeks, and brushing his hair with your fingers. I can't see you both talking every night, every day telling how much you love each other. I can't bear watching you, going out on dates with him, sitting in a warm atmosphere and sharing some cute jokes. I can't see him giving you the warmth in his arms. I cant see him giving you his jacket in cold evenings. I can't see him holding your face and then kissing your forehead. I can't see you holding his hand on the paths your scared to take. I can't see you both travelling the world, and then taking pictures and then uploading it on the internet. I can't see you stroking his cheeks calling him cute. I can't see you both sharing food, I can't see you making him eat by your own hands. I don't want you to update him when its raining, I can't see you both dancing in the rain. I can't see when he'all put arms around your waist, and introduce you to his mates, I can't hear him calling you his girl in front of everyone. I can't see you both watching those sunsets and sunrises together. I can't see youu being shared, can't see you spending your nights in his arms.
  I know I'm being selfish here but I love you so much that I can't see you with any other guy, and for this I'm trying my best to satisfy your needs. I'm trying to give me each and every second to you. I'm trying to love you at my best and at my worst. I promise you one thing , I won't ever stop loving you and I won't ever let you down. you won't ever regret loving this loser.
Ashna Alee Khan Aug 2016
I was a spider
I was the Sun
I was a pagan
I was a traveler
when I was all
I was none..
Ashna Alee Khan Jun 2017
In the house of poems
there are no words
only sheaths of rapture
color and puzzle cutouts
on an empty table
mute
composed of shadow thin
aching smoke ghosts
desires
aphotic and tender
twisting souls in labyrinths lurid
*** shake sweet inky *******
that turn earth
to pleasure domes
and shadows
like cimmerian children
in harsh judgment
******* on
purple night shade candies
burning incense and black candles
uncrossing energies foreboding
while subterranean crystals
refract burnished glows
pulsing blood diamonds
in sacred heart manias
throb with warm breathy kisses
on plates of ash
engulfing
a terrace of pink flickering tongues
drooling and biting
that turn mere pleasure
into inflammations of ecstasy
oozing creme de menthe saliva
where souls levitate and flutter
on bilious stained beds
copulating
being impregnated with verse
smelling of warm **** cauldron

fetuses curl
in their little crib's
and bubble tapioca lyric wrangles
afterbirths purged
poems emerge
like sand bars and palm tree islands
from
sopping woven tunnels
and
flow stone stalactites
as pink ballet pastries
with architected calves
caress upturned posteriors
dancing in glitter frilly word tutus
while torrid confessions
dreaded breakdowns
and resurrections
dress themselves in garments
of language re-pleat
quickened by eloquence
in the house of poems
Ashna Alee Khan Jun 2017
It been a long way each and everyday a struggle but with you by my side, with you holding me tight.  I feel like I can fly I can win every fight, so what if we seen a war that almost impossible to win. As long as we have each other we can make it, even if we became so close  in such short time I get up to see you, I get on to be with you, i love calling your name out knowing you be there. I can say this with all my heart can't think of anyone i would rather be with in my life. You are my home, my sun, my  air that fills my lungs with you...i can be me and that one the most important thing about a relationship you can be your self  and to know that person loves you for it makes my heart beat stronger. For when we together anything is possible.
Ashna Alee Khan Jun 2017
I was like  
a flaming Tyre  
  
hurtling  
down a mountain:  
  
when it hit a rock  
bounced up  
  
smashed back down  
  
splashed  
burning blobs  
on everyone  
  
...then  
kept going
Ashna Alee Khan Mar 2017
Just to tell you,
I'm still alone here in nights.
Just to tell you,
I haven't still moved on.
Just to tell you,
I'm still looking for you.
Just to tell you,
My days aren't days without you.
Just to tell you,
My blood sets on fire when I see you with her.
Just to tell you,
I can be enough for you,
but then I see you with her,
dancing in the rain of happiness.
and then I see her,
looking at you with the same look,
I used to give you.
Isn't it just so strange,
how quickly night and time changes?
What a shame it is that,
you were so close to me like a shore to a sea,
but now you are so far and trapped in our own mind,
that you don't even have time to listen to what your heart is saying.
Ashna Alee Khan Jul 2017
Let me be thy desires,
as I take my desires from thee.
Let me be thy passion,
as I take my passions from thee.
Let me rule thee,
as thee shalt rule me.

Let me surround thee,
as I give thee my heart.
Let me bind thee,
as I give thee my mind.
Let me inside thee,
as I give thee my soul.

Let me lead thee,
and I shalt follow thy path.
Let me show thee the way,
as I find my way in thee.
Let me taketh thee further than thou hast ever gone,
as thee taketh me further than ever I knew I could go.

Let me command thee,
and I shalt obey.
Let me discipline thee,
and I shalt reward.
Let me own thee,
and I shalt be thy slave.
Ashna Alee Khan Jun 2017
I stopped.
I began to revolve around the thing that changed me.
I became the only thing you didn’t want.
You thought more of him.
The man you despise.
My exact opposite.
You wanted to get rid of me.
You were too afraid.
You wanted to keep your friends.
I’m your friend too.
I can bring bad things sometimes, but I bring good things too.
I know you hate me now, but please don’t make me leave.
Don’t make me leave.
There’s so much we haven’t done together.
I thought you’d continue to cherish me.
But ***** it.
It’s over.
It’s too late now.
I’m done.
You’ve ended me with the call of your pistol.
Time to say goodbye
Ashna Alee Khan Jun 2017
electric guitar
screaming
growling
what a rush
frenzied
adrenaline
stirs madness
deep inside
alcohol fueled
new design
on display
showroom shine
old demons
shackled
pierced anger
naive tongues
eyes watch
from windows
stalking pain
stifled witness
homegrown
dysfunction
killing
innocence
broken pieces
collected
stored in an
empty bottle
waiting for
perfect timing
to be made
whole again
Ashna Alee Khan Oct 2016
ajeeb aeitabary-  be aeitabary kay beech mein hay zindagi,
pas *** kese aur kay aur janta koe aur hay .
Ashna Alee Khan Aug 2016
I swear that I heard you
just a second ago.
I saw the ocean in my dream.
but not my ocean.
I dreamt that i did something terrible.
I hurt you.
something something something
into nothing.
I had bought a compass.
I wanted to learn how to use it in the wilderness.
but maybe deep down
I just wanted to learn
how to find my way to you.
my skin disappears
revealing my black blood
and it hurts so much.
I'm trapped.
I'm burning.
#burns #you #me #life #faith #lost #alone #ashna #alone
Ashna Alee Khan Aug 2016
welcome to the life and times of a lost soul. We were born in error. We were never wanted, but we came anyway. We were left alone. We had siblings, but they were not the same as us. Except for the fact that we were all alone. How to feel happy, when the first sensations of feelings that come from others are those of regret? How then to feel after, when this is all that is felt by those who know us later in life? We were little like you, we were hungry like you. Why were we not fed? We learned to take. We learned to not need you. Even after learning how to take, we found that we would never have. We learned not to need.
   Sorrow is a comforter that we snuggle into during the bed of night that keeps us. Death sings to us a lullaby. We sing along, knowing the chorus of voices that accompany us are not our own. They who remain unseen are our knowledge, when none thought that we should learn. They who are unseen tell us where to look and find the things that should be known not. Show us the secrets of everything under the sun, and also the truths of all that hides under the cloak of night. We cannot close our eyes; We have no eyelids.
   We grow up in the same world as you, though your eyes look through us. We cry, we scream. We shout of things that you know nothing of. You tell the air where we are supposed to be that we are wrong. You do not see us or the things that we see. You do not hear our words. We have no tongue.
Ashna Alee Khan Jun 2017
Dad you and me are just two ropes tied on two really far away coasts,
I can't get near to you because of the storm of insecurities in between us,
we've always been the same magnets poles,
always resisting each other,
They say the love between daughter and father is ''Forever''
but we don't have any love in between us.
I've been finding some space and love for me,
in you since forever
but
I guess there was no love for me.
This relation gave nothing except for some regrets
and
some harsh realities,
which I won't never forget,
till my death.

— The End —