Growing up I was always told I was a great listener
Oh how I have strayed from that time of late
Sorry for I never felt heard until now

Wow you are amazing
You look very sharp today
You came over here so smoothly
You are so clever
You brighten my day whenever I talk to you
You are so good at your job
I can't believe you remember me you are going to go far in life
You are so personable which makes you a great employee
Hey I remember you...You are the guy with all the jokes
Awe you are so cute
You look like you run this place

I am receiving all these amazing compliments but I cant help feeling trapped
Screaming underwater while my lungs fill with water
Trying to swim but the more I try the further I sink

Born in this world as a innocent cub
Born into a world of temptations and desires
I use to be so scared of rejection and chased perfection
I lost my vision of perfection when I was introduced to temptations
I have had countless dances with these temptations
They just made me feel so free from this pursuit of perfection
This chase has led me astray and introduced me to a world of gray

A world of gray filled with nothing but space and me
I have used every fiber in me to paint my world of gray
By drinking just to sleep when I didn't even believe in me
Running miles for people that wouldn't even get out of bed for me
Doing everything to fit in instead of trying to stand out
Pretending that everything is okay while I was internally bleeding
Giving people chances that didn't even deserve a second one
Having *** just to feel something

Now my world is no longer gray
Its turned into a beautiful shade of white
Ready for me to paint a masterpiece
Time to let this little light of mine shine
And get what is mine....

TAG YOU'RE IT is what we use to scream
Chasing one another around in our innocent whimsical ways
As our minds became consumed with Adrenalin and endorphins
We felt free while our lungs begged for mercy
Just keep moving is what we believed

Until we grew older we no longer play the same way
Nowadays we play this silly game over social media and texting
As our minds became consumed with perfection and depression
We feel paralyzed while we wait to get another text or like to portray our perfection to battle the feeling of loneliness
Just keep to yourself is what we tell ourselves
Because you wont get hurt that way is what we believe

The childish me dreamed of being thirty
Buying all the things I dreamed
Sweet candy and ice cream
As far as the eye could see
Now I dream about being three

She is a wildflower
Dancing in the wind so blissfully
Rays of sunshine caressing her so delicately
Drawing out her brightest hues of Blues and yellows with a touch of white
She's gorgeous and doesn't even know
She's been stepped on so often she would do anything to be picked so her mind can
Be put at ease and give her inner peace
Even with her bent steam and missing leafs
Everyone fails to see her inner beauty
The strength she posses to stand tall
Is truly a sight to see
Even during the worse of storms where
her roots are drowning in a suffocating
Flood of hopelessness and fear of losing herself
She finds a way to dance in the rain

Dear Whoever You Are,

You will look in my eyes and see the mountains I have conquered
You will see how broken I had to be gain the fire you see
Yes I am the furthest thing from perfect
I am a work in progress
I am such a child right now
I thought I could find you at the bottom of a bottle
I tried searching for you for so long I began to hate myself
It literally just made me bitter and frustrated
I almost convinced myself I could drown my demons
But thank god for showing me the light was inside me all along
So I am trying my hardest to get the light from inside me outside

I am back to being me and no longer a shell of myself
I started working out so I can protect you
I am doing well in school so I can provide for you
I am accepting my past so I can be ready for our future
I have stop drinking so I can be there for you
I escaped a job that just caused me anxiety
I can finally sleep instead of being strung out on caffeine
I believe I am finally doing all the things I need to do
I am moving forward and no longer looking backwards

So please whatever you are doing right now don't stop moving forward
Every time you feel like you cant go any further just do it
I am begging you to take that next step
I don't care if it leads you into trouble
Because at least you are moving forward
Every step forward is another step towards us being together

                                                       ­                                                      Sincerely,
                                                      ­                                          Alexander Leino

I have it
I have what I've always wanted
I've starved for it
I've cried about it
I've pushed people away for it
I've convinced myself I will be better with it
I've realized it doesn't mean ****
Now I am more broke than I have ever been

He set his hooks deep into her soul
She took the daggers from her past to **** him
Some how they both survived
In the end they tried saving one another
The closer they got to one another
The more the hooks pulled her apart
The more he bled
Now they have truly met their end
Not strong enough to save what they had
Now they are both dead

light blues dancing with shades of white
sunflowers happily singing in delight
gentle rays of light dancing over you and I
please don't leave there is so much more to see
let's go see the big oak trees swinging in the breeze
or the salty seas filled with endless possibilities
life with you feels so free and puts me at ease
please don't leave

here's my garden I have tended to my whole life
composed of sweet dreams and lovely memories
please take a stroll with me
for I don't get much company

these flowers ground me when I am feeling lonely
for they don't critique me
they love me for being me
still, I continue planting seeds
hoping I bloom into someone others see

oh how silly
wanting to be perceived
maybe I am just lonely
please don't leave

You're so beautiful and you don't even know it that's my favorite part
Your laugh is so cute and innocent that's my favorite part
Your smile makes me melt and that's my favorite part
Your wall you put up falls apart when I'm around that's my favorite part
Your will to be honest about your insecurities that's favorite part
Your will to talk about anything that bothers you that's my favorite part
Your eyes make me lose track of time that's my favorite part
You feeling like you can be yourself around me is my favorite part

Words can **** someone
Shorter the more impactful
Words can save someone

Everyone alive has twenty four hours of choices
Everyone has good and bad days
The key is finding the good during bad days
That's when you are truly the happiest
If you can't find the good
If you can only find negatives
Then you must focus on removing the negativity
So you can smile again

How did I get here?
I woke up in a chair on a concrete slab
That appeared to be surrounded by a field of grass as far as the eye can see
There were few trees in the distance
It was a cool summer morning with sun rays piercing through the light fog
Then I noticed women I didn't recognized sitting across from me
She had very short brown hair almost looked like she was wearing a bandanna of brown
Her hair was thin and wispy just like the features on her face
Her eyes were dark but she had loveliest smile
For some reason I was really comfortable sitting across from this stranger
We started talking and we had the greatest conversation we were just talking about life and shared a few laughs
We were both drinking some tea
I had a pink mug
She had an easter blue one
She talked with so much life in her voice although you could tell she was in so much pain but at peace with her current state it was honestly hard to watch
I don't remember how the conversation got to what she said next
She looked me dead in the eye with her tear filled eyes and said, "I don't think you realize how happy you make my daughter." I haven't seen her carry herself so lightly since she was my little girl.......

Dear new guy,

Tomorrow is a big day
Not because it's Mother's Day
It's also her day
Today might be a emotional marathon
She might text you back immediately
She might text you back hours later
There will be no in between

Whatever you do don't play this game
I don't care how tired you are
Get up and surprise her with a breakfast date
When you get there she may be stubborn
She might tell you that she needs to put on some makeup
Don't let her
Lie if you have to and tell her that you have a reservation
Tell her she doesn't have time to get all dressed up

Now you guys are at breakfast
Keep the conversation light and fun
Try your hardest to push the conversation away from negativity
Make her laugh
She may not laugh but don't worry
You are making her day
All you have to do is stare into her eyes
Stare into her eyes and make her feel like she
Is the only girl in the world

Then take a trip to the park
Let her hair flow in the wind
While you dance with her heart
Hold her hand
Just talk about life with an excitement that cant be matched

Then invite her over and have a few drinks with your mom
She may surprise your mom with a gift
She's just that type of person

Whatever you do don't try anything crazy
Just be there for her
That's how you will win her heart



                                                         Sincerely your biggest fan,
                                                                    Alexander Leino

I am sorry for letting a few bad people tear us apart
I am sorry for talking with so much bitterness
I am sorry for throwing you to the wolf
I am sorry for silently watching him destroy you
I am sorry for leaving you when you needed me
I am sorry for making you cry
I am sorry for being difficult
I am sorry for pushing you away
I am sorry for trying to fix us while I was still trying to fix myself
I am sorry for falling for you so quickly
I am sorry for holding on for so long
I am sorry for not understanding why we are holding onto each other for so long.
I am sorry for still having feelings for you
I am sorry for missing you like crazy
I am sorry for being the jealous type
I am sorry for everything
I am sorry for this since it probably doesn't mean anything to you
I am sorry I'll leave you alone and let you be happy
I am sorry for never saying sorry
So sorry.....

I have the keys
The keys to every door
All of them have labels
Love
Life
Friendships
Relationships
Money
***
Success
I'm convinced someone keeps changing the locks

Juggler of my life
I do my best to keep up
But drop the best things

Playing in the the summertime air
Placed our minds at ease
While our imaginations made a scene
Swinging in the breezy
Smiling and laughing so gleefully
Oh the silly games we use to play
Hide and seek until we couldn't see
Scrapped knees and bee stings
Made me sing mom please help me

Sitting outside in the summertime air
Makes me my mind uneasy
While my imagination screams please
Let me see my computer screen
Anxious to see my apps dance so playfully
I hold back my tears so painfully
I can't see why my parents hate me
They don't buy me anything
No matter how much I scream help me

I have only known you for a few hours
How are we acting like we are best friends
Harmless flirting since we both knew it wouldn't lead anywhere
I know a few people, that tell me they are terrified to talk to you
Sure you put up a tough girl look
Those people fail to see your heart of gold

You walk around with a sense of confidence that is unmatched
Your laugh is intoxicating
I had you laughing throughout the entire day
Whenever you saw me your eyes light up so brightly I could see my reflection in them

You even chased me when I walked away
Scratching and begging for my attention
I became your addiction which didn't have a fix

Poetry is art
A blank canvas and a brush
We paint with our hearts

Everyone was out being jolly and happy
I sat there in living my biggest fear
Being completely alone with no one willing to lend an ear
Feeling like I have lost everything
All I had were my thoughts and my own ears
Telling myself I let down my family and peers
Letting her get away was my biggest mistake I ever made
She was with a guy that didn't deserve to see her tears
Seeing her everyday was a living nightmare
Because I couldn't take away her hidden tears
Everyday I tried my hardest to shovel my feelings into a shallow grave
Just to have them resurface by the water from my own tears

Everyday was a nightmare
I was bleeding internally while being kick down by people
That I thought actually cared
I tried my hardest to hold back my tears
But that night I cried for the first time out of feeling completely alone
Asking myself what could've I done
Why am I the one crying these tears I never deserved
Why am I so alone when all I try to do is bring joy to the world

I was mourning my own death for so long I forgot how to live
I continued walking forward in this nightmarish state
I was doing everything to make myself proud just to see light
In such a dimly lit place in my mind
What a dreary and dreadful nightmare I was living
But something reached out and caught me

One day my dreams were no longer about loneliness or fear
I looked back at all those nightmares and I saw a different version of me
I climbed mountains without realizing it
I killed many demons that were so much bigger than me
I was started feeling light and cherished
Cherished by my peers
Cherished by my family
Cherished by my friends
Cherished by her
Now I am scared to wake up because everything feels like a dream

Most people don't go on traditional dates
They are too afraid to go on blind dates
Too afraid to go on multiple dates
Potential couples fear rejection
So they text each other how they feel
Being spontaneous has lost a lot of meaning
At least it will be a Facebook post
A Facebook post to show status
A Facebook post to brag about seeing someone
Texting can ruin relationships
Texting leads to miscommunications
People rush to put labels on their thing
Because most people are too insecure to not have
some form of security saying that he's mine

I wish I could go back in time
Where dating wasn't a constant battle
A constant battle of showing your interest
While remaining distant enough to avoid suffocating the spark
Where you didn't have to worry about a good morning text
Where if you wanted to talk to someone you would call them
Where it was just you and them and not all your Facebook friends
Whom always put their two cents into where you two should be at
Where relationships weren't built over text and then destroyed in person
Oh how I wish I could go back in time

Drowning in this bright white light
I’m alone on this stage like every night
Seeing all my fans screaming my name when I walk into the light
All I see every night is a sea of flashing lights
All they see is me hitting these low and high notes with ease
I make it look so easy while I dance to this beat
But when its late at night all I want to do escape
Escape this never-ending dream where I can’t find peace
Peace that would make me feel complete
Because my fans don’t really know me
All they see is me achieving a dream which is turning bittersweet
Bittersweet because they will never see the real me
So here I stand on this street corner all alone
Thinking about running away from this fame
That I once thought would make me feel complete

Seeing is believing
You can live without seeing
Breathing keeps a person running
Running to till that next deep breath
That next breath can be so full filling
It may be suffocating if you can't catch it
It may hurt while you are screaming
Screaming about something you believe
Some screams are silent and some cant be ignored
You may hold your breath in fear of losing
Losing what your last breath had

It fits perfectly
Burgundy is such a powerful color
It stands out in a sea filled with greys and blues
Oh how I love this suit

Short brown hair girl
She stared at me with her big brown eyes
Made me feel like she was going to be mine
Now I sit here wondering why
Why hasn't she texted me
Why did she say we will doing something on Sunday
Oh well I guess she was never mine
I was just another guy....

Tired and worn
Discolored mix of gray whites and blues
Distressed laces that once kept it together
Are Left in thin shambles laying so weakly through each disfigured loop

The stories they have carried me through
Stories of pure joy and happiness
Stories of pure depression and tears
Unfortunately their last story has been completed
For they have tired and can travel no further without falling apart

Not searching for it
Just living what you believe
Breathing with such ease

Trapped in this vantablack room
There’s got to be a key somewhere
But Where?
Why do I want to leave this place????
The Isolation has been oh so nice....
I came here feeling strong, confident, powerful
Now I am nothing other than a pasty white corpse
A Corpse that has nothing to give because I have only taken
I desired lust and what I thought would lead to love

Karma got the best of me

I forgot to love myself
If I don’t relearn how to love myself then I will be trapped in this purgatory
Okay just one step before the other….
Good….
Another….
Ugh I just fell and cut my hand….
Well there goes that opportunity
I will just go back from where I came
Not like anyone every loved me the way I love them….
Wait????
Is that a voice?
“Woah hi what are you doing here????”
I was looking for some *****…..
Well I am sorry but we don’t have that here

But…….
It looks like you found the key to my heart…
Thank you so much…..
I cant imagine where I would be without you being here today
I couldve been lost forever if you didn’t show up today
“At the very least can I get your name?”
“I am Danielle”
One Year Later
“Danielle will you marry me?”
“YES!”

They tell me give up
Give up on something I want
I told them get lost

Born prematurely
Broken permanently
Scars cover my body
Scoliosis
One kidney
Reconnected small intestine
At least they didn't touch my heart
Its one of the few pieces that went untouched
Now all I want to do is give it away
Once I do I hope I never get it back

I can't reverse time
Always chasing those past times
Time to move forward

I hope you are okay
Because I am miserable
Maybe we are the greatest thing to never happen
But will never know

Standing outside on a warm summer night
As the ominous night sky peers through my defenseless soul
Reading my desolated state like a book
Continuously turning the pages trying to find my purpose in life
Reading all the lies I tell myself about how I am doing great or not
Finding a sense of comfort from the dimly moonlight sky
Searching for one star that catches my eye
As I get lost in the night sky

I’ve completed hundreds of puzzles
Puzzles with a few pieces
Puzzles with many pieces
I’ve started putting together another puzzle
This puzzle started off like all the others
I started with the border and started working my way inwards
For the first time I became perplexed
I tried my hardest to find the correct piece to fil this blank space
I think I have tried every piece that the puzzle came with
I am almost convinced I am missing a piece
This puzzle has been an infuriating undertaking
I have spent countless hours trying put all the pieces together
Now some of the pieces are starting to become disfigured
Some of the pieces have become discolored
I have spelt my morning coffee on some of these pieces
The damage has been done but I am determined to finish it
For whenever I start a puzzle I always finish it
No matter the amount of time I have spent on it
This one however isn’t going to look like the picture on the box
I have given up on that pipe dream
Now I am creating a beautiful collage

She has a big heart
She lives in a world of lust
Its torn her apart

Please come dance with me
Come dance with passion and heart
Don't step on my heart

You're given one key
Two doors happy or sadness
It's only your choice

Dreary cloudy days
Wishing I had someone to
Nap the day away

keep swimming silly
enjoy the lonely silence
just keep being you

Hey young man get up
Stop laying in bed doing nothing
You have a lot of work to do
You have to become a true man
Laying in bed is doing nothing for you
You think you have it all
You don't even have a dollar to your name
Where is your fire and passion
You need to get up and get whats yours
I promise you the world will someday be yours
You just have to believe in yourself
You need to learn to cook for yourself
You need to learn how to provide for yourself
You need to move out although I love you
I love to see you succeed
Instead of succeeding back to this **** bed

Enjoy the small things
Because you will yearn for them
When you feel empty

I don't want this
I am standing here looking clueless
Clueless to what is happening
I have accepted it won't end well
Still here I am
Standing here hoping it will be okay
I am terrified because today he looked at me
Looked at me with a fire that I have never seen
A fire that spoke with passion and love
A look that pierced my soul
I have bullet proof armor but his shot
Nearly killed me....

Started off with a bad joke
Then I kept playing my cards
She was eating it up
Loving every word I said
Laughing at everything I said

I was talking to her just to pass the time
She has a though exterior
She has a heart of gold
A body composed by an angel

The way she opened up was so exhilarating
Then she started hitting on me
Telling me about how bold and brave I was
She loved how open I was with her
Although we were at work

Then she added me on Facebook
I would've never guessed
She Is a model with a massive following
Everyone wants her attention
Creepy guys have wrote her love poems
Just trying to grab her attention

There we were staring into each others eyes
Mine were screaming be mine
While she stared straight through mine
Why oh why do we have to say goodbye
One last hug and one final goodbye
Now I got nothing left to do but cry

I thought you changed for the better
You were nice and sweet
Our days together were filled with laughter
I really did choose you over her
Since I just wanted someone to call a friend
For a while it felt like I was betraying one of my best friends
I gave you a chance
I hate how much you neglected my love
For I enjoyed our time together
Then you met a guy and he takes all of your time
We don't talk often but you texted me today
In a ferrous rage saying how could I betray her
I don't know what I did
She's telling me I spilled the beans
The thing is I never had the beans
She must of miscounted her beans and blamed me for some information that leaked

So you are just too childish for me
Apparently I can only have one friend and not two for you two have too much history
Now I pick her over you sorry but you are a nut job

A young girl is trapped
Trapped in a snowy dense forest
Before she started she accepted death
Each step she takes is one step further from home
But closer to something she can call home
She's already mourning out of sheer helplessness

Now shes getting cuts and bruises from the abusive forest floor
Then she finds a break in the dense forest
She can see the sun and she can finally breathe
No sooner than later the sun vanishes
She keeps moving forward looking for that next bright light

Every stop gives her comfort but scares her because she realizes she can't afford to go back to where she once was
No matter how far she travels she will always be mourning something she lost

Don't bleed for someone
If you cant show them the cuts
If they won't show theirs