I have none left in me
I have given it to everyone but me
Every poem I write has a little piece of me
Each poem has a few crumbs of the real me
These crumbs are easily overlooked
Many people I know say they love my writings
Very few can read between the lines I have wrote
Many fail to see what each of my lines truly mean
They don't see my heart racing to catch its beat
All they see is my mind trying to control my heart beat
A lot of my poems come off as shallow but not deep
I guess they truly don't know the real me
A smiling boy is all they see when they look at me
But deep down they don't see the pain that paralyzes me

It chips away at me
Makes me hungry
Hungry to be successful
Hungry to be the best I can be
Hungry to be the center of attention
A hunger I can never satisfy
A hunger that eats away everything
It starves me when I'm content
It has burrowed deep inside me
I can't rid this being that consumes me
I can't drown it
I can't feed it
I can't see it
Because it's taken over every part that makes me me
There's no lonelier feeling

I love my life
My life isn't perfect
It's riddled with flaws and doubts
Somedays I feel as strong as an ox
Others I feel paper thin

We live in a world of depression
I try my hardest to breakout of this oppression
Once I feel free I'm dragged back into depression

Line in the sand
This is my side
Stay on yours
Don't get me wrong
I flirt with the idea of crossing this line
Every time I get the courage to cross this line
I run and hide
For I fear whats on the other side
Love
Happiness
Depression
Sadness
I will stay on my side although I am dying inside

Romantic Roses
I have given out plenty
My last one turned black

It all started when I gave him life
A life in a world filled with passion and hate
With a burning desire to rip any mans' heart apart
He was so delicate and transparent
I got lost in his heart filled smiles and innocent laugh
His bright green eyes put a patch over my broken heart
A heart that was once ripped apart
I promised myself I wouldn't let a monster rip him apart
I will protect him with whats left of my heart
Even if it tears me apart

Now he is a little older and its breaking my heart
He's starting to see the passion and hate that drives this place
He's ever so slowly taking apart my heart
All I have ever tried to do was sew him together when he fell apart
I tried my hardest to protect his heart
But the monsters are playing with his heart
Its tearing me apart

My old heart aches for his love
I gave him everything
Now he wont even talk to me
The monsters got to his heart
Once a monster enters your heart it never leaves
Which is ripping me apart because
I tore him apart

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I just put in my two weeks
And so should you

The fire is finally back in your eyes
You really did set yourself on fire
Don't hate yourself for what you did to yourself
It was worth it because sometimes you got to burn yourself
In order to rebuild yourself

Teapot be whistling
Nothing to pour it into
A helpless feeling

How has it been four years already
I cant believe so much time has past since I have seen you
We use to be best of friends
You were the first girl I ever fell in love with
Although we never kissed
You were crafted by the gods inside and out
We use to talk everyday and you would vent your problems to me
Which I never minded because I just wanted to hear your voice
I will never forget our late night adventures
When it was just you and I time seemed to fly
I would pick you up at two in the morning
We wouldn't get home until we could see the sky turning light
I will never forget our late night runs to the grocery store
Or our late night talks that seemed to last minutes when they were hours long
Whenever it was just you and I
We would never stop laughing
We were perfect for one another
Ya we didn't have a lot in common
But when we hanged out it didn't matter

Nowadays you always find a way to text me when I am feeling really low and or when I am feeling really good about myself
Its like you have a sixth sense
It kind of freaks me out but gives me a sense of comfort
Knowing you will be a friend of mine for life
No matter the time or distance between us
Whenever we text it seems like we talked yesterday when its actually been months
I love you and always will

Don't worry baby
I'll give you the world and more
You're my everything

you taught me how to tie my shoes
yet they still come undone from time to time
no blame or shame in that
yet you continue to try and tie me down with
your own insecurities
your lack of community
your lack of self-worth

it's not my job to untie your knots
because I am still trying to take apart mine
these knots have been a part of me for far too long

sometimes I wonder what life would be like
if someone else taught me how to tie my shoes

Time to dig myself out of this shallow grave
That I have dug for myself
I am tired of telling myself I am...wasn't
Good enough for anyone or myself
Because I cant bring the past back to life
The past is dead and so my old life

Old thoughts come out to play
Mind is flooding of thoughts from the past
Just like a wild child strung out on caffeine
Every time I catch-up to my thoughts
They keep running away from me
Now I'm losing sleep
Because the dead version of me
Is haunting my dreams
Here I lay wide awake
Wishing I could sleep

Have sweet dreams is what they plea to me
For me I don't sleep
Diving head first into the tossing and turning relentless sea
Waves of emotions keep my head under
As I try my hardest to breathe
The Monstrous sea keeps pushing and pulling me apart
As I swim deeper to explore the darkest trenches embedded in me
As my mind continues to sing without missing a beat
Until the waves suffocate me to sleep

In my mind I try to paint a colorful picture of you
But it always comes out black and white
I will never forget your eyes
for how they made my mind color blind

Hey I bought you something....
Well I just wanted to say
I am tired of chasing you in my dreams
So I bought you this dream catcher
Because no matter how bad my dreams got
When you were in them they were always great
Now I want to stop dreaming and catch you in reality
Will you go out with me.....

I feel like I can look at a
Complete stranger and read
If they are truly living or just existing

Then I wonder if I am just
Looking in a mirror because
I honestly can't answer that about myself

I was jogging through a long hallway
I was so eager to see the voice that echoed through the halls
I turned the corner and realized it was my mom

What was she doing here??
I didn't invite her

Then I noticed a breathtaking ensemble sprawled out before me
Beautiful wood tables with crystal clear wine glasses which were complimented with big circular plates

I couldn't believe what I was seeing before me
I was only in the bathroom for ten minutes
Changing into a old sweatshirt and light blue shorts

I decided to scan the rest of the room quickly
I firstly saw the angel I spent the entire day with
Next to her was her dad
When I made eye contact with her dad he responded with, "Of all things you did today you did two things right. You showed my daughter an amazing time and secondly when we asked you to stay for dinner you said yes without hesitation. We coordinated this with your mom a couple of days ago, because you are the man, that my daughter deserves in her life. So this is a thank you."

I was still confused because I had no idea where my dad or her mom was

Why was I put in this position when she was talking to another guy
She seemed so set on him but did something happen? Regardless...

A feeling of fruition consumed my soul
I sat down in one of the chairs
I took a bite of some of the shrimp on my plate
Then I woke up..............

Sorry he is blind
He couldn't see your beauty
Of your heart and mind

one warm summer night
you and I were strangers
our minds danced the night away
while your soul ignited mine

Some people live in a box called home
Some people drive around in a box
Some people think inside the box
Some people feel trapped inside a box
Don't get trapped inside your box
You are not a square

You are a beautiful circle
A circle full of life
A circle that gives and takes
A circle that loves and receives love
A circle that thinks outside of the box
A circle that sometimes get trapped in a box
A circle that realizes everything eventually comes full circle

Here take my hand
Let me take you to the lake
Will dance in the suns rays
Drink summery beer all day
We will go cruise on the boat
Where you will feel the warm summer breezy play if your hair
The sun will kiss your perfect skin
Sing along to some classic country tunes
Build a roaring fire
Cook some of the best s'mores until you cant eat no more
Go on a late night boat cruise
Slow dance under the bright moon to some classic forties tunes
While looking into your eyes making feel like the only girl
In the entire world
Once we get cold and tired we will go cuddle the night away

Feeling free with the warm sand under my feet
A playful warm energy fills the air with a relaxing summer breeze
Waves relentlessly crashing into the shore with a passionate roar
Just to retreat in a peacefully silent murmur
Kids running around in pure glee
Charging into the waves so care free without fear of being dragged out to sea
While others tip toe around while the water grazes their feet
The brave ones jump into the sea just to feel complete
A feeling of being with themselves and the sea
A feeling that terrifies many but those that want to feel complete
Once you jump there’s no way to return without fighting the sea
If you are lucky you will feel complete without a concern of being dragged out to sea

Now I sit here staring out into the sea
Occasionally dancing around the edge of the sea
Sometimes I will walk waist deep into the sea
But always return to the safety of this beach
Feeling free after I fought to get back to this sandy beach
Afraid to jump in so care free because I don’t think I got another fight left in me to get back to this beach
I just hope when I get the courage to jump back into the sea
That I will get swept off my feet and taken with ease

Well this wasn't expected
How did I end up here with her
Is this a sad story or a great beginning
She has always hated me
All I ever was was nice to her

We shared a few drinks
She got drunk then started talking to me
Like I was her best friend
I was just sitting there laughing
Laughing about how she completely lost
her tough exterior

She was melting into the palm of my hand
Telling me to open up more
Talk about whatever I wanted
What a weird position I was in
I could have easily taken it to the next level
I was just enjoying the moment
We laughed for about an hour straight
Then we called it a night

Today marks the end of an amazing chapter
For I am going to step away from writing
Not forever but for a little bit of time

I have written poems about love and lost
I have written some poems while in tears and in shear glee
Sometimes I wrote in pure anger and frustration
But I would be a fool to say it wasn't worth every word I typed
I have found people that supported me
I found a passion that filled my soul with hope instead of hopelessness

Before I started this journey I didn't know a thing about poetry
Yeah this poem really doesn't show what I have learned
I have learned how to write different forms of poetry such as free verse, limericks and haikus

Now its time to step away and breathe
For me I have wrote more than I can believe
Time to step back and reread what my poetry has made me
My poetry has led me on great adventures
It has taught me a lot about what truly makes me tick
For if it wasn't for my poetry I don't know where I would be mentally

Standing at the highest peak
Looking down at the beautiful land below him
Feeling a little light
Ready to jump and just let go
Let go of everything he has ever built
He has built castles
He has built a family he would die for
He has built everything he's ever dreamed of
He still feels like there's something missing
Missing something he can't find the blueprint for
A blueprint that would complete his ultimate project
A project that feels like it will never be finished

I got the message
Although it was never sent
Silence is so loud

Be a risk taker
Never be scared of failing
Failing makes you grow

She was ****** and bruised
Life beat her soul out of her
She was suffocating in a sea doubt

I didn't hesitate
I rushed into action
Removed the blood and iced her bruises
Filled her soul with laughter and joy
Pushed her to keep moving forward

Now she found a man off a dating app
She has now disappeared from my life
She ran away with a military man

Oh how I fear she will reenter my life
Broken and destroyed
For I believe they are moving way too fast

Long blonde hair and blue eyes
A smile that once completed me
All the silly things I did to make her smile back at me
I did everything I could to make her happy
Even after she left me

.
.
.
.
.
.

All these blank lines are words I never had the courage to say
No point in saying them since they no longer matter
They will just remain blank lines that will never leave my mind

Both people have to be committed to a relationship for it to work

When you feel weak I'll give you strength
When you talk I'll listen
When you miss me and I'll make you feel loved
When you show me love I'll show you passion
When you cry tears of sadness I'll be there to hold you and tell you how great you are
When you are angry at life I'll show you how grateful I am to have you
When you have a problem with me I will work to make it right
When you feel insecure I'll tell you I love all your flaws because you wouldn't be you without them
When you are having a bad day I'll do whatever it takes to make you laugh

All I can hope for is she will do the same for me

Before the last seven days
I was starving for attention
I wanted someone to see me for whom I thought I was
I almost gave up
Quickly falling into my old ways
To the old player in me
Saying all the right things
Just to end up in someone's bed
So I could feel something

I am no longer anxious
I've found comfort with someone that adores all my flaws
She looks at me like no one else exists
Her eyes burn with a passion that can't be matched
She makes me feel at home although I haven't been home the past few days
She makes me want to always hold her hand
She makes me want to kiss her in public
Things I've never been so confident in doing
She doesn't see who I was in the past
For I will do anything for her
Just as she does for me

I drown her in compliments
Amazing dates that would make any girls heart melt
Someone I can be weird in public with
Sweet dreams because when she sleeps she sees me

This all feels like a dream
I don't know what to say
For I am afraid to say the wrong thing and wake up from this beautiful dream

I love reading my old poems
It puts me back in my old shoes
Now its different
In hindsight the recent past
Has made me more of a man
Certainly I went through some growing pains
But it was worth it

That moment of serenity I've been yearning for
It's been so long that it feels weird
I haven't felt as healthy as I do right now
Mentally and pyschically
Feeling like all the pieces are coming together
There's no better feeling
I praise you for showing me the light
When I was lost in such a dark place

Wow my world feels whole when she’s around
She carries herself in such a light-heated manner
I want to ask her out because her Facebook status says she's single
I wonder if she would ever go out with a guy like me
There are so many guys that are more intelligent than me
Better looking than me
More accomplished than me
Actually never mind I will just avoid getting hurt
Because I can tell that she is out of my league

Wow my world feels so much brighter when he's around
He carries himself with so much confidence and hope
I want to ask him out because his Facebook status says he's single
I wonder if he would ever go out with a girl like me
There are so many girls that are more intelligent than me
Better looking than me
More accomplished than me
Actually never mind I will just avoid getting hurt
Because I can tell that he is out of my league

I'm sorry grandma
I was just told about what you are going through
You are in so much pain
You are literally dying right now
Dying of cancer is what they told me
Apparently you don't have long to live
I wish I could take back all those years
All those years I took you for granted
All those years where I wish we could talk
Talk about how you met my mom's dad
He really sounded like a great man
My parents tell me he was just like me
He died just a year before I was brought into this world
Oh how I wish we could talk about your life
Talk about your struggles
Talk about your greatest accomplishments

I am so thankful for you taking care of me
Taking care of my family
Being there for every struggle and every tear
That I never saw or heard
I was just an infant then
I was barely holding onto dear life
But I didn't know you were the one holding me
Holding my family together in our time of need

Then I got older and so did my sister
I feel like we didn't have those deep talks
Because I was still an infant and a little naive
I always felt like my sister overshadowed me
She always had something going on to talk about
Just because she was a bit older than me
I am not asking for forgiveness
I just want you to understand I love you
I just don't know how to rebuild this bridge
Because you live so far away from me

I have found my purpose
I was put on this planet to lead
Yet I wasn't put on this planet to be seen
I can lead a horse to water but I cant make it drink

I will push people to be great
I will make people laugh when they are sad
I will give people hope when they don't believe

I just want to see people succeed
Succeed emotionally
Succeed with accomplishing goals
Succeed with being themselves
Succeed with finding what they need

One thing I won't do is give up on me
I will do everything I can to be there for someone
But once I lose myself
Then they no longer see what I see when I look at them
Which is such a sad and helpless feeling

I hate watching your life through this screen
I want to talk to you in person
I want to text you asking how everything is going
I want to call you and talk about life all night
I miss you
I just hate how much I miss you

Why wait...
Why wait for one door to close
Just to have another open
What keeps you waiting
Don't fear change
The past is the past
There is no future in that

Get angry
Throw all your emotions aside
Don't walk through that next door
Kick that next door off of its hinges
If you don't like what you find
Do it again
Then again
And again
Don't stop until you find what you want
Because each door you kick in is only going to make you stronger
Never settle for less than you deserve

Wow I just realized this
That you remind me so much of her
When we hangout it reminds me of how it once was
I miss her so much but there's nothing I can do
I just want the best for her
I know I hurt her and she doesn't trust me
I still love her and care about her more than anything

Thanks for hanging out with me
It is really helping me get out of my depression.....

Nothing makes him stand out in particular
He's such a child pretending to be a man
Chasing a fallacy of societal norms
Setting traps trying to find his next victim
Traps filled with a false sense of security and warmth
Traps of which don't physically **** his prey
A trap that always takes the most important part
A victims heart

He's such a charming young boy
Sliver tongued with a side of mystery
Eyes filled with passion and fire
Always in pursuit of having ***
*** to feel like a man
*** to get another mental high
*** to fill a void that he can't satisfy

This poor boy fell into his own trap
He thought he had her trapped
Then she left him in his own trap

He's tired of having meaningless ***
*** that once made him feel like a man
He continually moves forward
Searching for *** that feels genuine
He feels like such a child begging for something
That he cant find or have

Its been two months since we were close
Some days are easy and others are dreadful
Some days I wake up wishing you were there
Others I tell myself that I can do better

But when my mom asks about you
All those past feelings consume me
Because you left an impression on her
Just like you left an impression on me

Even the richest man can be sad
While the poorest man can be the happiest
It's all about perspective

So many boys cry about this made up space
So many girls use it as an excuse to call a guy fake
Truth be told some people are best off as friends
If you don't see it everyone else does
Time will show you what you are meant to be
Don't hurt yourself about being in this zone
It hurts a ton more not knowing if you are there are not
It takes a toll on your mind and heart
It can tear the strongest person apart
True strength comes to those that accept this zone
Even more for those that love this zone
You will find people that put you in this zone
But your mind will battle your heart
Your heart will scream please catch me
While your mind says please don't lose this person
For one they make your world seem less dark
If you don't find this zone then leave that person playing
With your heart because they don't appreciate your well being
So if you truly care about this person that put you in this zone
Then let it happen and don't push them way
Because it will just makes you weak and bitter
Real men and woman embrace this zone
They understand this is where you can heal
Heal your mind
Heal your heart
Heal your friendship
Heal yourself so you wont miss that next person

I will never forget my first ****
She was young and filled with joy
She wore her heart on her sleeve
It was short and sweet
I looked into her big marble like eyes
Then I told her I no longer loved her
Her eyes turned cold
Everything about us flashed before her eyes
Her body became weak and fragile
One blink followed by a grimace of pain consumed her smile
Her faced sunk into her hands
She whispered to herself I knew I wasn't good enough
I sat there witnessing a beautiful woman self destruct
Looked like a tornado was consuming her thoughts
All I wanted was to hear her talk
There we sat in silence while she balled her eyes out
I stared blankly into her soul
Realizing the damage I've done
While a sense of relief washed over me
Then she looked up at me and was saying anything that came to her mind
Why.... I love you.... please give me a chance
I sat there feeling loved but I knew I couldn't help her anymore
That's when I said I'm sorry and walked away

A young girl is trapped
Trapped in a snowy dense forest
Before she started she accepted death
Each step she takes is one step further from home
But closer to something she can call home
She's already mourning out of sheer helplessness

Now shes getting cuts and bruises from the abusive forest floor
Then she finds a break in the dense forest
She can see the sun and she can finally breathe
No sooner than later the sun vanishes
She keeps moving forward looking for that next bright light

Every stop gives her comfort but scares her because she realizes she can't afford to go back to where she once was
No matter how far she travels she will always be mourning something she lost

Everyone sees how you look at me
I don't understand why I don't see it
I am sorry friend of mine
But you will not be mine