i can’t help it
every second my eyes are drawn to you
my head
and my heart
do crazy things
everytime i think of you
incontrolable
inconceivable

My lips are bleeding.
It's because you have kissed them.

I miss the boy
               Who would reassure me

        But then again I'd bet

You miss the girl*
               Who didn't need reassurance

It's not okay.
It's not fair.
It's not deserved.
But as life goes on,
I hope you have
the strength and
the courage to
go with it.

So this is for you,
i think,
i don't even know anymore.
i want to cry.
i'm trying hard to not to.
i'm scared and afraid.
i've had better days,
but the number is small.
i'm so alone,
i don't want to go home.
i think i'm done.
no goodbyes, just a gun.
too bad i love you,
maybe i’ll see you soon.

breaking

is addicting

once you start

you never

s  t  o  p


breaking

if i had the room to breathe
i'd tell you what i really think
if i had the sense to leave
i'd run away before you blink
but i'm not in charge
haven't been for a while
i let you back in
greeted with my smile
you make me into nothing
just a puppet to be worn
pull my strings or cut them
make me wish i wasn't born
they all think i'm crazy
what you do to me
feels better when it's hazy
when i'm numb and can't see
i'm itching begging screaming
with need for sweet release
let the dead things spill out
let them leave me please
i'm shakey sickly scared
to be back here again
addict trembling holding
the beginning of the end
i miss the feeling of clarity
of acute euphoric lust
the bitter sting of reality
making all the noise hush
a sticky sweet sadistic lullaby
calming all my bones
the one time you don't touch me
the one time i'm alone
i will always lose
with you i cannot win
red rivers run high
with the tide of sin

I looked out the window
Why the **** did I look out the window
I dropped by your class
Why the **** did I drop by your class
You're hair is certainly long enough now
You vain boy

You certainly have the body for it ;)

I saw your allstars and skinny jeans
Make their way across the lot
When you pulled in late
Was I too late or you
I'm still trying to decide who's the bigger
**** up

Can I get a picture tonight?

I watch the wind tousle it
Like I used to want to
I saw your varsity jacket
Covering your 'Cry merch' shirt
I caught you later too
Staring at me from across the room

I don't what to hurt you

You snap at me more lately
I hope they all gave you hell
I hate you're perfect hair
I hate you're crystal eyes
I hate that I still care about you
I hate that I can't take back what I gave you

Somehow you make me better
When you just talk to me, smile at me, text me
To know that you are there, that you care
Makes me believe
That there might be some sort of angel
Behind your blue eyes

You don't have to be perfect
You don't really need to try
I know I see some sort of angel
Behind your blue eyes

Tell me again how I'm fat
Tell me again how I'm a *****
Tell me again how I'm an idiot
Tell me again how I'm scared and marked
Tell me again how I'm useless

                                         I'm fast approaching 90lbs
                                         I'm practically a ******
                                         I'm in NHS and my GPA is high
                                         I'm a warrior wounded
                                         I'm a support group leader

Tell me again,
     because I already tell myself.
I'm so used to hearing lies,
      I'll believe them anyway.

S                          
O                F              
M               I                M
E                N               E
O               D
N
E

Colors pour into my eyes
And I leak out personality

Same tunes, my whole life
Welcome home, it's Sunday night

On a cold, brisk night like this,
There's no one else I'd rather miss.

Do you remember being so frigid
We had only each other for warmth?
Lying in the damp orchard grass,
Counting stars and counting laughs...

There is nothing we could not do,
Us together -- just me and you.

The clock struck midnight, one, then two,
Still we stayed, the whole night through.

Cut off all my hair...
Pierce my face...
Hitchhike out to Seattle...

          You gave me up --
You can't stop me anymore.

I'm on fire
I'm burning and boiling
Melting apart piece by piece
My feet sink into the floor and I'm sweating off finger tips and teeth
I'm drowning in hellfire
Gulping down molten slush
That is somehow cooler to my touch
I'm all dried up and a puddle simultaneously
Scoop me up and drink

call me something outside
outside of myself
beyond these walls
lined with my past
my tears and fears papering the ghost underneath them
call me something outside
and let the inside fade away
we can make it fake and flawless
this person i will become
call me something outside
forget where i was born
that i've been born
take me outside
let me see the dawn

The sky is blue
And I am hiding

The bright
The excitement
I'm too ordinary
For such things

I close my eyes
You stare back at me
Down at me
Like I'm someone
And no one to you
I don't know which
Reality do I belong in
Everything is blurry
You tell me I'm yours
The slap across my face
Guarantees it's true
I open my eyes
The tears sting
As they slide over
The newest bruise
Adding a fresh pop
To the patchwork quilt
You made me

wrap this rubber band
around and around you hand

until it snaps or slices clean through

the tension a saw pressing deeper
the band longing for itself
wanting to be joined
but you've wrapped it so tightly
it won't come off

Accidentally slipped arsenic in my tea
Showed me how to drink poison, twice

Left me to the wolves, me, still a lamb

Painted a mask on a broken face
Blame me as it chips off and truth is seen

As you look into your one-way mirror
You frown when you can see your reflection
Me lost somewhere beneath the shards of glass

As you begin to rot, and blossom still
I try to quit my tea as your body fails you

The bite was probably the worst part
                      It rained everyday I thought about you
                      And poured everyday I tried not to
I ran for miles hoping to get close enough to see you
But you had left weeks prior
                      I couldn't scale even your shortest wall
                      Because there were already too many trying to climb it
                      So I've been waiting outside your door
                      Hoping you might remember your promise
                 And let me in
           Before another snake tastes my heel
     While I wait beyond your towering walls
Watching all the other girls you push fall

I know this isn't a poem, so don't comment that, okay?

Love, love, love,
                          W. Hope

I promised I do
But I do not
I do not want to be alone anymore
I do not want to wish for your snores
I do not want to eat alone, drink alone
Pray, cry, scream, fight alone
I do not want to sit in this empty house that no longer feels like home
I do not want to use my hands to hold myself, to touch myself
I do not want to spend time with anyone else
I do not want to wait here for you
I promised I do
But I do not
I do not want to miss you
But I promise I do

what have i done
to myself a
horrific
nightmare
i have become
i am so gone
so far from normal
that it could be
beautiful if
it weren't a
pathetic excuse
for terror

under the tortured capture of time
under the tortured capture of this rhyme

dwell in the uncertain future
thoughts of what could be, full of dread
stay in the concrete past
where memories and hopes are dead

                                     don't be confined
                                     to stay within the lines
                       run, escape
                       break free, walk away
          become your own
          live your life
          like you have nothing left
today, this moment, take it