wish i was them.
a decent family, maybe i would be better then.
i blame my parents for everything.
why was i born, why was i crying about everything.

1998, I came to the world
A sweet little girl
That later would be the opposite
But I was still so talented
Playing guitar and piano
Like my father did
I was holding his hand
Until I was 9 and moved to another land

My dreams and hopes were left behind
I couldn’t see a future
I was totally blind
And I began to grow and cry often
And when I turned thirteen
I was so lost
My skin couldn’t no more stay clean
Bleeding like a horror movie in the screen

I started running away
I had no more reasons to stay
I was only there to cause problems
My nights became days
And my nights became helpless

I know it sounds selfish
But I just didn’t have
I didn’t have any reason to keep fighting
And I’m the same self-destructive behavior
I kept spinning

When I was 18, I moved to my father’s house
I couldn’t even handle my own thoughts
My memories from I was 14 were little dots
I was living stuck with my voices
Hurting myself
And being enable to make my own choices

I only wish I could have made my family proud
But I couldn’t stand in my own feet
When I was already nineteen
A simple task I couldn’t complete
I wish I had made you happy
But I will always need help when myself
I have to defeat

I should have been doing better now
Get over my mom
And make my daddy proud
And I hope someday I will
Somehow

“Tell her... tell her that I don’t want to talk to her right now because she’s being really ******* annoying. Tell her, tell her that she’s been really distant lately and I don’t think she should be antisocial, it’s not good for her - she needs to get out there and explore the world. Tell her that she’s ungrateful and selfish for always asking if she can spend the night, or if she can go out to a concert next weekend, or if she can buy some groceries on my credit card because she had to pay for her rent this month. Tell her she needs to stop posting so many pictures of her drinking with friends, no one’s going to want to hire her if they see that. Tell her that I can’t deal with her crap right now, she needs to know when to handle things on her own, she’s twenty two years old now and she doesn’t need me to baby her anymore. Tell her that you miss her, you two need to start talking at some point, you just can’t ignore her forever. Tell her that she should put on more sunscreen; she’s working outside all day and with pale skin like that she’s going to get melanoma. Tell her that she should call me more often, we rarely get to talk anymore and I feel like I’m losing a child. Tell her she should learn how to be respectful, tell her she needs to smile more, tell her she can’t just ignore me, tell her that she has real life responsibilities now, tell her she can’t be so self-centered if she’s going to find someone who will put up with her, tell her....”  *******, go tell her yourself.

I am a warrior
Bold and brave
Master of an art of blade
I am a warrior

My armor is breaking
It hurts...I can't see
How?! It...It can't be?!
My armor is breaking.

Why it feels so hot?
Am...Am I loosing my sight?!
Why?! Why isn't there any light?!
Why it feels so hot?

I'm falling...
I can't see a **** thing...
I can't feel anything...
I'm failing...

There are times that I wish I was dead there are times when I ask god why did he make me. Was it just to make me cry every night. Make my own mother hate and blame me. Well then maybe I should let her **** me maybe I should run way maybe I disappear for goodness sake then someone said to me i know you hurt but you don’t how strong you really are so listen just listen


-Mia


I looked into my father’s eyes and saw the hatred...when he said I was no longer his son I pulled knife to my neck and said “devil have me” but god said wait don’t you let him take you away from me don’t you let him have my child just wait and listen


-Nick


I heard my mother cries saying she was sorry that she couldn’t afford the life we deserve. She was sorry that my father wasn’t around. She was sorry that my sister, her daughter might be stuck in a wheel chair for life. So I got down on my knees begged god to save me please and he said your greatness is coming my child just wait and listen


-Lorenzo


I heard the whispers that was a b*d child, that my mother slept with  married man. I heard the rumors that i wasn’t gonna go anywhere that I was just gonna end up like her a desperate soul. And that’s when I lost control. My mother died as I laid in her arms 16 & pregnant I was mad at the world but god was telling me to listen. Just wait and listen not to them but to me your greatness is coming your greatness is now


-Camille


He died in my arms blood everywhere, my mother left, my father was in Jail i was left by myself had this gun in my hand put it to head ready to pull the trigger but god said wait you have purpose open your ears and listen. He said boy don’t you do it don’t let the devil make you into something your not don’t let his demons break you like this. Just listen


-Malik

Writing, for me, is an escape.
An escape from the hatred that surrounds me.
An escape from the people who want to hurt me.
An escape from the people who send attackers after me.
An escape from the people who use others to get at me.
An escape from the darkness that lives within me.
An escape from the darkness that lives in you.

I found my glasses today
Under a coat of dust
At a friend’s house
A year after I lost them

I like what I see
I put them on
I feel normal again
Clark Kent would be proud

These lenses take the heat off my vision
I look like a normal guy

I feel normal
I can play video games
Talk about super heroes
And girls

And when I leave I go home to arm chairs
and arms full of charity
I should mention
I live at a friend’s house
Three squares, my own room
and a koi pond outside
It’s a hotel here

You see, I found family last month
Understanding
At a friend’s house
A week after I lost it

I didn’t know how I got there
I left Dad’s due to abuse
Mom kicked me out to refuse truth
And now they both pay each other money
As I walked down a rainy street without shoes

My friend’s family
And I’m grafted in
God should hate me
I’m a self-orphaned child
Soon to be a self-made man
I killed family
But I’m grafted in

Washington never cut down his father’s cherry tree
But I’m standing next to splinters
From the axe I didn’t swing
Should have, could have
Would have had I had half the brain I have now


Now
I feel like a normal guy
Who’s never thought about ******?
Who never had parent issues?
Who never had help when they needed it?
Who feels normal?

I am from whisk.
From Mr.Clean and Odoban.
I am from my locked closet (dark).
I am from my mom's attempted fruit trees (they always die),
a palm tree in front of my room’s window,
I always wanted to climb out my window and escape by climbing down it.

I’m from protein shakes and Alex being addicted to Alex Clare so he bought a hat similar to Alex Clare's hat
From Chip (hates his real name “douglas”) and Alex (not alexander)
I’m from my mom's breeding of dogs/ entrepreneur/ planners and my dad's travelling for work/playing drums/being a jokester,
From “Oh honey, your back looks okay, but your stomach…” and “Do you want to die of cancer?”
I’m from my best friend telling me “You embody light and love”
With making earrings
And always crying alone

I’m from another reason why I’m closest to my dad and unidentifiable.
Lamb and french fries.
From Zyler breaking his pinky toe by dropping a large rock on his foot
To Zyler plugging his ears whenever Alex or dad sings, or plugging his ears when he hears music he doesn’t like and/or want to listen to at that time
Our childhood/baby year memories are kept in boxes with our names on them in the office, We have baby books that go up to about 1 ½ to 2 years old, Facebook
I am The uninvited third wheel tagging along on a date