In this moment,
I am held by the simplest of forces.
One that takes control of my senses,
reaching from sight to touch.
Every cell is taught,
like a string pulled too tight.
Each breath is sharp,
like i'm being strangled by my own tongue.
Lack of oxygen impairs my thoughts,
as if i'm drunk without drinking.
It feels as though i'm locked in an arm-bar,
but I cannot summit so I black out.
Consumed by the negative,
forever reaching for the positive.
Words and actions are constantly intertwined
I tell myself to breath,
but the grip it has on my throat is tight.
Squeezing down on my breath,
until the blackness is all that's left.
I have been here for an eternity,
yet why hasn't anything changed.
I search aimlessly for a exit,
grasping at nothing but air.
My lungs are lifeless and
i feel like there is no hope.
In that moment,
I blink back to reality.
Mere seconds have passed,
the world is still whole and spinning.
Nothing has changed,
everything is where i had left it.
Broken and yet whole once more,
i pick myself up and try to carry on.
I can now check this off my to do list,
and prepare for tomorrows moment.
© Holly Owen 2016
The daily struggle