My days spent with you
Are colored with the softest emotional hue
All in varying shades of blue
Of the sweet sadness that is you
A beautiful face graced with tears of dew
With the fullest lips that trembled when the pain grew
Your raven hair perfectly askew
To much of life's depravity you knew

To peer into those dark brown eyes
To witness their pleading question why
To hear that sorrowful quite sigh
Knowing that was your silent wish to die
Made this icicle heart melt and cry

There was nothing I could hide from your soul search gaze
It left my spirit lighter in so many ways
I no longer had to hide in the suns rays
I was free to dance in your darkening daze

Your beautiful sadness, graced you like pure black snow
Sure as the creek's slow flow
Goodness and love was all you would show

For your wounded soul knew
How misfortune could hunt you down and ensue
Leaving the feeling of happiness taboo
But with beautiful sadness you'd push through
As the universe's arrows struck and flew

You forever changed my vision
Unlocked me from the world's made prison
Loving you was not a choice nor a decision
You essence swept me into blissful submissions

It turned out to be my soul's deepest desire
To see the beauty in the muck and the mire
To accept the pain while in the midst of the fire
To wear sorrow with pride, like the robes of the heavenly choir

You allowed me to see beauty in the darkness
That the pain and agony does not tarnish
The beauty in the darkness remains regardless
If only to the darkness and it's beautiful view you harken

A darkened soul, with a touch of beauty no doubt
Beautiful inside, because of the scars on the out
The pain can not be locked
Inside
Cuz if it was we would surly die
So the wounds leak with blood in thin lines
The fear within,it just grinds
But what a beautifully sad soul that's locked inside
Waiting patiently for someone to find

A darkened soul, with a touch of beauty no doubt
Beautiful inside, because of the scars on the out
The pain can not be locked
Inside
Cuz if it was we would surly die
So the wounds leak with blood in thin lines
The fear within,it just grinds
But what a beautifully sad soul that's locked inside
Waiting patiently for someone to find

The sun lights up the liquid gold leaves
My favorite part of fall is the dying of tree's
Most like the spring, and things coming to life
Guess it gives them hope, and eases their strife
But I see the circle, and the beauty of dying
The letting go and moving on, no more sighing
So I'll sit and watch the beauty unfold
And think about loved ones I lost not so long ago
And hope some day I'll follow in their steps
And witness the beauty in the dying and death

Writhing in pain
Nothing to gain
Nothing to lose
Nothing to chose
Nothing but death
I wouldn't regret

Along came you
Love ensues
A light in darkness
Love engulfs us
My heart in flight
Changes my sight

Time ticking by
Wishing it'd fly
Every day closer
Maintaining composure
To far away
Counting days

When we touch
Bodies clutch
Softly entwine
Love divine
It'll be to much
We'll finally erupt
Forever mine
A Love of all time

On my way out watch it flow
Just one more poem before I go
I haven't much time
So just one last rhyme
It won't be long before I'm done
It would of been faster if I'd used a gun
But I wanted to see the blood run
For every drop there is a story
Of pain and agony, there is no glory
I'm growing weak
I think I accomplished the feat
One more line, my world was bleak

On my way out watch it flow
Just one more poem before I go
I haven't much time
So just one last rhyme
It won't be long before I'm done
It would of been faster if I'd used a gun
But I wanted to see the blood run
For every drop there is a story
Of pain and agony, there is no glory
I'm growing weak
I think I accomplished the feat
One more line, my world was bleak

On my way out watch it flow
Just one more poem before I go
I haven't much time
So just one last rhyme
It won't be long before I'm done
It would of been faster if I'd used a gun
But I wanted to see the blood run
For every drop there is a story
Of pain and agony, there is no glory
I'm growing weak
I think I accomplished the feat
One more line, my world was bleak

What was it like before
Before we fell
Before we ended up here
In this darkened place
That feels like hell
Can you tell me please
I don't remember
Maybe I shouldn't
It would just add to it
Was we happy
Was skies blue
What was it like before
Before we fell

No one wants me in their tomorrow
Even though I beg, steal and borrow
Still they would walk on without me
They only want to set me free
I try to make my darkness go away
I beg happiness to stay
I steal my tomorrows from my yesterdays
I borrow my feelings from my yesteryears
For today I'm only full of fears
No one wants me in their tomorrow
Even though I beg, steal and borrow

No one wants me in their tomorrow
Even though I beg, steal and borrow
Still they would walk on without me
They only want to set me free
I try to make my darkness go away
I beg happiness to stay
I steal my tomorrows from my yesterdays
I borrow my feelings from my yesteryears
For today I'm only full of fears
No one wants me in their tomorrow
Even though I beg, steal and borrow

Beige is the color of my brain
When I can't think of a thing
With wheel spining round
And not gaining ground
No thoughts to write down
hushed is the only sound
Beige is the color of my brain
When I can't think of a thing

Somewhere beneath the ****
Of what they tried to make you become
They try to make you wear the face of despair
To where you no longer care
They try to make you despise
But I see past the disguise
I've heard your cries
I know above this you can rise
They can not keep you down
Even as they still try to bury you in the ground
You'll see there is still hope to be found
They will not be your demise
I know where your gloden heart lies

My child you never need to say a word
Your prayers unsaid are loudly heard


The crickets cry out constantly your pain
Every morsel, every grain

The Barn owl screeches out all your fear
Be Still my child, I'm always Near

The coyotes nightly howl, echoes your remorse
It's OK my child you'll get back on course

Wolfs scream of the agony you've been through
I'm sorry child, but there's still more for you

The fireflies light shows me how dark your world has gotten
Don't fret my child your not forgotten

You may cry, scream and blame me too, my shoulders are broad
Or just be Still my child and know that I am God

The Mongoose dances with the Cobra
Bending and twitching, it looked like yoga
One little ***** of those poisons fangs
Will leave it dying in ravenous pain
The Mongoose so small and frail
It looks like the dance with the Cobra is sure to fail
The jumping and striking is memorizing to watch
Looking exhausted they raise it up a notch
A dance to the death is the show before me
The Cobra's hood is all I can see
He sways from side to side trying to hypnotize
But I can hear the Mongoose's chattering cries
Bouncing back and fourth on legs of springs
The Cobra strikes, you can hear the zing
The Mongoose is to fast, to the side it jumps
Then comes the bone crushing crunch
As the snakes body curls in on it's self into a ball
Looks like the mongoose won after all

So even if you think of yourself as small
Be the mongoose when problems come to call

Somewhere between lost and found
I let it all burn to the ground
Standing in the present, with hope for tomorrow
Glancing back at yesterday's sorrow

No more whispers no more shouts
I have no regrets and I have no doubt
That someday the truth will ring out
Then what will happen to those lies you spout

What will happen then to that acid love you spew
Will you finally get what your due
I  doubt it
For this wicked world your a perfect fit

Your as poisonous as a viper
Or a Black Widow spider
Spit your vile words any where but in my direction
Your not welcome here, if I haven't mentioned

Beyond sorrow,  do you know what was waiting there
I ran straight into the arms of  despair

What's behind the Bright Red Door, is it all my dreams come true
Is this where Time and Circumstances has secretly hidden you
Did Circumstances steal you away before the light of day
Keeping you confined, for reasons Time won't say

Should I crack it open, take a peek, do I dare explore
Do I even want to know the secrets of the Bright Red Door

Maybe it's my lost childhood, that behind it is imprisoned
Books read at bedtime, awake before the sun has risen
Mud pies are made, fire flies chased and all my mistakes forgiven
Before the division, when Happily Ever After was still envisioned

Should I crack it open, take a peek, do I dare explore
Do I even want to know the secrets of the Bright Red Door

Wonder if it's my future there, right beyond that door
I know my past, I know my present, both have left me floored
Would it finally all work out, or the universe's fatal blow
I'm still holding tightly on to hope, so do I really want to know

Should I crack it open, take a peek, do I dare explore
Do I even want to know the secrets of the Bright Red Door

Standing in front of it, mindlessly wringing my hands
Heart beats, that of a humming bird that never lands
Skin on fire, as it turns white with the fear
Hand shaking, turning cold as the **** comes near

Should I crack it open, take a peek, do I dare explore
Do I even want to know the secrets of the Bright Red Door

If old dreams lie behind it, can't I simply dream anew
If it's a lost childhood imprisoned, it's ok, with the years I grew
If the future, shouldn't it remain unseen, leaving hope to grow
For as mere humans we're ment to look forward, only to tomorrow

I turn away from that Bright Red Door, temptation firmly resisted
What does lie beyond, I'm sure is severely twisted

©Pauline Russell

Be you a freak
Or a geek
Transgender, gay, or bi
Let your flag fly
We are all ****** anyway
So for the rest of our days
No matter how bizarre
Let's be ****** for who we truly are

Be you a freak
Or a geek
Transgender, gay, or bi
Let your flag fly
We are all ****** anyway
So for the rest of our days
No matter how bizarre
Let's be ****** for who we truly are

I've felt it coming on for days
That ******* Dog is on his way
Nothing I did made his course sway

Why can't he just slumber
But deep in his throat I heard that rumble
I know I'm going to take a tumble

On the sharp rocks of life I'll be dashed
A bone crunching crash
It'll be fast

He pounced on he this morning
Now I'm in mourning
I seen him coming I had warning

In his big strong jaws he'll rip me apart
He'll devour my soul, my heart
That will only be a start

As he guards my hole
Not letting me go
My agony grows

Little girl lost
Always paying the cost
Look where she was tossed

I wish I was a big fat brown furry squirrel
Up in the walnut trees I'd scamper and twirl
Collect my delicious nuts for the frigid winter time
Invite squirrl friends over to party and dine
Take sweltering summer days to run, jump and play
Frighten some silly song birds along the way
No worries of the coming days
No bill collectors at the door to pay
To just live wildly free
Like nature was ment to be
Live out my life in a comfy hole I made in that old walnut tree
That tree was here in my grandpa's days, it's as sturdy as can be
In the winter curl into a warm ball and try to remember
Of where I hid my stash of nuts,  come December
I want to be a big fat happy squirrel
Never angain a sad woman-girl

I fear every  tomorrow  
All my life it only brought sorrow

Tragedy on top of tragedy is stacked
I'm spread eagle on life's torture rake

The universe keeps twisting the screws
Will it ever be over,  haven't I paid my dues

Isn't forty years enough suffering
What other catastrophe is out there hovering

I fear the winds of change
Still I feel them just the same

For change has only ever worsened my plight
Agony always takes another bite

Look forward to tomorrow, is what is said
But I only see it in black and red

Demons hiss
And I remiss
They leave black stains upon my walls
In my room and down the halls
They all conspire to do me in
Fear clutches my heart when they touch my skin
Like little lighting bolts that run up and down
Goosebumps are all abound
The shiver in my spine will not expire
They won't let me go to bed and retire
With that being said
They have escaped my head

I was very cautious
I knew if I wasn't what it would cost us
I made sure the bedroom was perfect
I wanted MY romantic affect
I hung the plastic, then the curtains
Bed exactly in the middle, I had to be certain
Lit a few candles
Then sliped on my dress, and my sandals

I cruise the street
For my baby to meet
I pick him up at the corner
My heart beats faster, my body warmer
We go back to my house
Where we start to mess about
I lead you to my bedroom
We'll be making love soon

To my bed you are shackled
You have no idea of my feeling of hackles
Straddling you, and ridding you like a horse
All the wail your loving it of course

With you still in me, I bring out my toys
They are only for my collection of boys

They are bright and shiny
I will not treat you kindly
They are so sharp they can split a hair
And in their refection you just stare
You can't believe what you see
As the look on my face is pure glee

You body starts to convulse and thrash
Then with my blades I start to slash
I plunge my toy in
With the evilest grin
I love the squirting gushing sound
It's all so profound

I have loved all my men
That's why I let no one chase them
Forever in death they are mine
I'm one of a kind

I slash him to ribbons
It's as fun as the dickens
He's still alive
And feels every vibe
Covered in blood
Our bodies fit like a glove

I slowly climb off top
And lop of his part
Blood sprays the room
Death will be here soon

I'm so happy I made it romantic
And taped up the plastic
I am the Black Spider
I **** all I desire

I was very cautious
I knew if I wasn't what it would cost us
I made sure the bedroom was perfect
I wanted MY romantic affect
I hung the plastic, then the curtains
Bed exactly in the middle, I had to be certain
Lit a few candles
Then sliped on my dress, and my sandals

I cruise the street
For my baby to meet
I pick him up at the corner
My heart beats faster, my body warmer
We go back to my house
Where we start to mess about
I lead you to my bedroom
We'll be making love soon

To my bed you are shackled
You have no idea of my feeling of hackles
Straddling you, and ridding you like a horse
All the wail your loving it of course

With you still in me, I bring out my toys
They are only for my collection of boys

They are bright and shiny
I will not treat you kindly
They are so sharp they can split a hair
And in their refection you just stare
You can't believe what you see
As the look on my face is pure glee

You body starts to convulse and thrash
Then with my blades I start to slash
I plunge my toy in
With the evilest grin
I love the squirting gushing sound
It's all so profound

I have loved all my men
That's why I let no one chase them
Forever in death they are mine
I'm one of a kind

I slash him to ribbons
It's as fun as the dickens
He's still alive
And feels every vibe
Covered in blood
Our bodies fit like a glove

I slowly climb off top
And lop of his part
Blood sprays the room
Death will be here soon

I'm so happy I made it romantic
And taped up the plastic
I am the Black Spider
I **** all I desire

I was very cautious
I knew if I wasn't what it would cost us
I made sure the bedroom was perfect
I wanted MY romantic affect
I hung the plastic, then the curtains
Bed exactly in the middle, I had to be certain
Lit a few candles
Then sliped on my dress, and my sandals

I cruise the street
For my baby to meet
I pick him up at the corner
My heart beats faster, my body warmer
We go back to my house
Where we start to mess about
I lead you to my bedroom
We'll be making love soon

To my bed you are shackled
You have no idea of my feeling of hackles
Straddling you, and ridding you like a horse
All the wail your loving it of course

With you still in me, I bring out my toys
They are only for my collection of boys

They are bright and shiny
I will not treat you kindly
They are so sharp they can split a hair
And in their refection you just stare
You can't believe what you see
As the look on my face is pure glee

You body starts to convulse and thrash
Then with my blades I start to slash
I plunge my toy in
With the evilest grin
I love the squirting gushing sound
It's all so profound

I have loved all my men
That's why I let no one chase  them
Forever in death they are mine
I'm one of a kind

I slash him to ribbons
It's as fun as the dickens
He's still alive
And feels every vibe
Covered in blood
Our bodies fit like a glove

I slowly climb off top
And lop of his part
Blood sprays the room
Death will be here soon

I'm so happy I made it romantic
And taped up the plastic
I'm the Black Spider
I **** all I desire

I was very cautious
I knew if I wasn't what it would cost us
I made sure the bedroom was perfect
I wanted MY romantic affect
I hung the plastic, then the curtains
Bed exactly in the middle, I had to be certain
Lit a few candles
Then sliped on my dress, and my sandals

I cruise the street
For my baby to meet
I pick him up at the corner
My heart beats faster, my body warmer
We go back to my house
Where we start to mess about
I lead you to my bedroom
We'll be making love soon

To my bed you are shackled
You have no idea of my feeling of hackles
Straddling you, and ridding you like a horse
All the wail your loving it of course

With you still in me, I bring out my toys
They are only for my collection of boys

They are bright and shiny
I will not treat you kindly
They are so sharp they can split a hair
And in their refection you just stare
You can't believe what you see
As the look on my face is pure glee

You body starts to convulse and thrash
Then with my blades I start to slash
I plunge my toy in
With the evilest grin
I love the squirting gushing sound
It's all so profound

I have loved all my men
That's why I let no one chase  them
Forever in death they are mine
I'm one of a kind

I slash him to ribbons
It's as fun as the dickens
He's still alive
And feels every vibe
Covered in blood
Our bodies fit like a glove

I slowly climb off top
And lop of his part
Blood sprays the room
Death will be here soon

I'm so happy I made it romantic
And taped up the plastic
I'm the Black Spider
I **** all I desire

I lie and watch her as she sleeps
It's then I see her soul truly weep
You can tell by the way in which she moves
She has seen more than her fair share of abuse

She is always curled into the tightest ball
Arms covering her head, waiting for the fall
To many times awoken with angry fist
This is the way her body was always kissed
Cries of No echoing, disturb her silent night
As in her dreams, again she puts up a fight

The morning sun brings no sign of relief
Staggering under the weight of all the grief
Some days she can hide it all so well
Cheery voice, plastered smile no one can tell
But most days it only thunders, only storms
As emotions ripp through her like razor thorns

She whispers when she thinks no one can hear
"I'm so tired of feeling like this for so many years
Way beneath the surface... a lot more agony no one can see
Like an iceberg lost and floating, that is me"

I gently touch and wake her up, masking what's within my eyes
Yes, I wear my own disguise
Her beautiful essence hypnotized as it taunts
I'm scared of these feelings I don't want

Terrified one day she will just disappear
Falling forever through her darkened atmosphere
I don't know what to do, her eyes desperately pleads, "don't give up"
I fear I'm not even close to good enough
But she already tied my heart to hers with diamond tread
So I'll hold this bleeding angel that graces my bed

I am the plague, a ghostly vapor
My soul bleeds blackness on the paper
If you're looking for a happy write
Don't read mine you won't get that sight
What you'll see is a glimpse of a spirit in total darkness
You'll learn just what the cost is
As a child thrown to the brink
And time and time again I sink
Like the platypus, I'm Gods little joke
Again and again I choke
On all the cruelty throughout the years thrown on me
No one hangs around to truly see
Beneath the scars I'm only human
Despite the blackness and confusion
My soul cries out
At times it a hushed small shout
At other's a battle cry
As I pick myself up and again I try
But my day's are growing short
For I am feeling out of sorts
Out of patients, out of hope
I can't even begin to cope
I feel I just might throw in the towel
I'm trying to figuring out how

I'm out of my depth
Out of breath
In over my head
Filled with dread
Lost at sea
Down on my knees
Tossed in the fire
Lost in desire
Churned in the coals
Playing the roles
Left in the sun
In front of the gun
Out in the snow
As the northern wind blows
Blinded by the light
In my forever darkened night

Lifes blood ebbs away
I'm sorry I could not stay
But life will go on
I was no longer strong
Even a diamond can crack
And no one had my back

Don't cry for me
Just because my body you can't see
I leave you memories, and love
And now this agony I'm gonna be free of

I've written it down the best I could
And maybe by some I'll be understood
My poems capture my life and torment
Put into this world for Gods enjoyment

With all this pain and remorse
I took this way out, of course
It's not the easy way out, as they say
I thought it through for days and days

My thoughts have formed a noose
And more pain made sure it wasn't lose
So now all I need is to step off this chair
And become so  unaware........

Blood is what connects us all
So why do we make each other fall
Blood is life
Even in the middle of all our strife
Blood is pain
That is why some of us let it drain
Blood is death
It spills out, with our last breath

The blue bird of happiness on my windowsill did sit
Singing me songs of sweet regret
But he doesn't know what it feels like to be blue
He's always happy, but slightly subdued
He only greets the sunshine
He's never tasted pain like mine

The blue bird of happiness hides from the rain
He can pretend it never came
We are quite different that bird and I
For I will never be allowed to touch the sky
The rain is my redemption
While the sun is he's deception
For happiness I know is just an illusion
He is lost in the confusion

The blue bird of happiness on my windowsill did sit
Singing me songs of sweet regret
But he doesn't know what it feels like to be blue
He's always happy, but slightly subdued
He only greets the sunshine
He's never tasted pain like mine

The blue bird of happiness hides from the rain
He can pretend it never came
We are quite different that bird and I
For I will never be allowed to touch the sky
The rain is my redemption
While the sun is he's deception
For happiness I know is just an illusion
He is lost in the confusion

The blue bird of happiness on my windowsill did sit
Singing me songs of sweet regret
But he doesn't know what it feels like to be blue
He's always happy, but slightly subdued
He only greets the sunshine
He's never tasted pain like mine

The blue bird of happiness hides from the rain
He can pretend it never came
We are quite different that bird and I
For I will never be allowed to touch the sky
The rain is my redemption
While the sun is he's deception
For happiness I know is just an illusion
He is lost in the confusion

The sun blazes across the tops of the trees
The wind has changed into it's cool late breeze
The heat of the day receding with the sun
Another day is being put to rest,  it's done
Time to gather around the fire
The flames lick the coming night, the light soft expires

We watch the flames dance
Talk of romance
Of childhood memories
Of life's remedies
We reminisce of friends and loved ones now passed
Realizing how long it's been since we had them last
Speaking of how our children have grown
The blessing of them having kids of their own

It's funny how time silently slides past
Only in looking back can we see the shadows that it cast
Just as the fire does, till it burns down to embers
When my fire expires, will I be added to those they remember
As they sit around the fire and reminisce
About all the friends that they miss

We hug each other as we go
Because life is short,  that much we know
"Till we meet next time"
Is not ment for just this life, but the next in line
We hold them close in our hearts at all cost
For TRUE friends can never be lost

Here inside me again they grow
I thought I'd taught them where they couldn't go
Not surprisingly again I faild
And again this razor I will wield
Long thin wounds I do inflict
I hope tonight I get rid of it
When my bright crimson blood hits the floor
In my brain they'll bore no more

I'm looking for something, I'm afraid don't exist
I'm looking for something, I hope I've just missed
I'm looking for something, in the foggy mist

It's a forgotten hue, of a color so bright
It's a forgotten feeling, of being so light
It's a forgotten treasure, I should've held tight

It bounced off the rainbow
It bounced and it flowed
It bounced right into the great unknown

I'm still here calling
I'm still here falling
I'm still here bawling

I'm afraid I'll never find it again
I'm afraid I'll never win
I'm afraid I'll never taste it on the wind

I will seek it out, till my dying day
I will seek it out, I'll hunt every which way
I will seek it out, if I find it I'll make it stay

I'm looking for something, I'm afraid don't exist
I'm looking for something, I hope I've just missed
I'm looking for something, in the foggy mist

It's a forgotten hue, of a color so bright
It's a forgotten feeling, of being so light
It's a forgotten treasure, I should've held tight

It bounced off the rainbow
It bounced and it flowed
It bounced right into the great unknown

I'm still here calling
I'm still here falling
I'm still here bawling

I'm afraid I'll never find it again
I'm afraid I'll never win
I'm afraid I'll never taste it on the wind

I will seek it out, till my dying day
I will seek it out, I'll hunt every which way
I will seek it out, if I find it I'll make it stay

Tears are stinging behind my eyes
As I try to hold them within
No one will know why
Until it is to late
To late to even count them
For soon there will be way to many
I can't even say why they are there
But soon everyone will know why
And then like me they will try to hold them back
But it will be to late
As many will stand at that flood gate
As we try to let the tears wash away the pain
But it never will
They never do
The pain that is about to be created
Will resonate for years and years to come
And all I can do is stand and watch
And brace for impact

Days like today
In my darkened way
I just sit,rock, and sway

I rock to the rhythm of my lifes sorrowful song
This feelings so wrong, so strong
In this inky state of mind
Any minut goodness is hard to find

There's hatred and self doubt
I HATE THE WAY I FEEL...I just want to shout
But there's no one here to hear anyway
So I sit and I cry and I sway

My thoughts bleed all over the place
You can plainly see them on my face
I'm such a disgrace
To the whole human race

This depression is heartless
Bringing only darkness
On days like today
My body and soul cry
It just leeks out my eyes

The sadness and darkness intertwine
It makes living feel like a crime
I'm so utterly clueless
Fighting it seems so useless

This is a bad one
I don't know where it came from
At lest with a trigger I know where I stand
Today I just feel like I have a brand
That tells the dakness to fall
That I don't belong after all

Days like today
In my darkened way
I just sit,rock, and sway

I rock to the rhythm of my lifes sorrowful song
This feelings so wrong, so strong
In this inky state of mind
Any minut goodness is hard to find

There's hatred and self doubt
I HATE THE WAY I FEEL...I just want to shout
But there's no one here to hear anyway
So I sit and I cry and I sway

My thoughts bleed all over the place
You can plainly see them on my face
I'm such a disgrace
To the whole human race

This depression is heartless
Bringing only darkness
On days like today
My body and soul cry
It just leeks out my eyes

The sadness and darkness intertwine
It makes living feel like a crime
I'm so utterly clueless
Fighting it seems so useless

This is a bad one
I don't know where it came from
At lest with a trigger I know where I stand
Today I just feel like I have a brand
That tells the dakness to fall
That I don't belong after all

Days like today
In my darkened way
I just sit,rock, and sway

I rock to the rhythm of my lifes sorrowful song
This feelings so wrong, so strong
In this inky state of mind
Any minut goodness is hard to find

There's hatred and self doubt
I HATE THE WAY I FEEL...I just want to shout
But there's no one here to hear anyway
So I sit and I cry and I sway

My thoughts bleed all over the place
You can plainly see them on my face
I'm such a disgrace
To the whole human race

This depression is heartless
Bringing only darkness
On days like today
My body and soul cry
It just leeks out my eyes

The sadness and darkness intertwine
It makes living feel like a crime
I'm so utterly clueless
Fighting it seems so useless

This is a bad one
I don't know where it came from
At lest with a trigger I know where I stand
Today I just feel like I have a brand
That tells the darkness to fall
That I don't belong after all

In this darkness ment to stand
Only seeing brighter lands

The light I did pursue
But the dark it did ensue
Though I ran with all my might
The darkness remained right by my side

It remained like a moonless night
No guiding light
To alumminate my flight
It wasn't right
The darkness I could not fight

In this darkness ment to stand
Only seeing brighter lands

The Sun glistening through the trees
I could almost feel the breeze
It brought me to my knees
To pray to a God that doesn't see

He's left me to all the fears
He's never near
He's made it clear
This God only listens with a deafened ear

In this darkness ment to stand
Only seeing brighter lands

I am the sheep lost in the dark
My soul it has no spark
Only sound, song of the lark
To my voice no one will hark

Please take my eyes, I no longer want to see
The nothingness in front of me
I beg of you, I plea
Imprisoned in the dark, left groping for a key

In this darkness left to stan
Forced to see the brighter lands

A dream is crushed, a future uncertain
Maybe it's time to close this curtain
Love lies lost, because it was never found
All of this is so very profound
Because my only dream was for love to come around
But insteed I was used and abused
And it gave birth to my darkest muse
Now I'm to old for love to find me
My heart stoped looking and threw away the key
So broken I well always be

A dream is crushed, a future uncertain
Maybe it's time to close this curtain
Love lies lost, because it was never found
All of this is so very profound
Because my only dream was for love to come around
But insteed I was used and abused
And it gave birth to my darkest muse
Now I'm to old for love to find me
My heart stoped looking and threw away the key
So broken I well always be

Take this broken bowl
You made so very long ago
She is such a terrible sight to behold
Please take her off the shelf She's been sitting there all by herself
She's so very much alone
Battle cracked and worn
I know she's broken in many places
But please show her your good graces
Fill in the spaces
With potters sands
With your loving Godly hands
Patch the holes
Within her soul
With your mighty wisdom make her whole
Like you did once so long ago
Shine her with your glory
So she may go tell your story
Of how she was so broken
But your love over her you've spoken
And her sin's have been cast in to the ocean
And now she is new again
Even though she was born in to sin
She did not have to stay and descend
But now basks in the lights
Of your heavenly sights
As once again her spirt takes flight

Take this broken bowl
You made so very long ago
She is such a terrible sight to behold
Please take her off the shelf She's been sitting there all by herself
She's so very much alone
Battle cracked and worn
I know she's broken in many places
But please show her your good graces
Fill in the spaces
With potters sands
With your loving Godly hands
Patch the holes
Within her soul
With your mighty wisdom make her whole
Like you did once so long ago
Shine her with your glory
So she may go tell your story
Of how she was so broken
But your love over her you've spoken
And her sin's have been cast in to the ocean
And now she is new again
Even though she was born in to sin
She did not have to stay and descend
But now basks in the lights
Of your heavenly sights
As once again her spirt takes flight

A glass that is shattered can not be made whole
No matter how much you try no water will it hold
It remains cracked, brittle, and broken
No longer new, no longer a token
And with my life the same can be spoken