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Apr 25 · 314
Have you stopped?
Michael Apr 25
Have you ever stopped to look?
To take it all in,
With your own eyes and ears,
To see the birds sing.
Beauty is all around,
It’s far and it’s near.
If only you took a moment,
Just to see and to hear.
Apr 23 · 55
Daddy still loves you
Michael Apr 23
Will we be able to see each other again?
The Pain in my heart still burns the same
it’s been so long
I barely remember your face
Whenever I think of you
My broken heart starts to race
My mind is an inferno
My heart colder than space
The darkness consumes me
Despite my smiling face
Am I destined to relive
That fateful day
When the universe looked down
And swiped you away
My son I love
This I think you know
That day still kills me
The day you had to go
To my forever angel
The guardian of my soul
I’m sorry I never got to you
Before you were cold
Daddy still loves you
And will never let you go
Dec 2019 · 68
The failure of feeling
Michael Dec 2019
My boy is no longer here
My heart lies in tatters
My feelings are in shreds
Not that I matter

I am a broken man
My mind is in disrepair
Everyday when I wake
My heart fills with despair

I thought I found an outlet
A friend who genuinely cares
But when I share my feelings
I am met with irritated stares

Maybe I do not deserve
Reciprocation from the few
Maybe I am meant to be alone
Far from all of you
Michael Dec 2019
We seem bleak and heartless
Cruel and uncaring
Through the darkness we look
All we feel is you staring

There is no rest for the wicked
No reprieve for the wise
No peace to be had
This is the world
Shared by you
Seen by me

Life is a war,
Concluded ultimately in death
There are no winners
We all have nothing left
Dec 2019 · 43
To whomever I burdened
Michael Dec 2019
We all have stress,
We need an outlet
We all need to talk,
We need to let the demon out

We talk and we talk,
Yet I didn’t ever ask
If you would be my support,
My friend till the last

I leant on you,
You never once complained
I took you for granted,
Which caused you irritation
Nov 2019 · 161
What are we?
Michael Nov 2019
What we are and what we will be
Whether as individuals
Or all together collectively
Can be defined, But only momentarily
Our definition is fluid
Our destination undefined
All we are on this journey,
Is along for the ride
Nov 2019 · 82
Walk with me
Michael Nov 2019
We walk our paths as we step on the road,
No love, no release, just cobble and stone.

We have no direction, no place and no home
Just light stepping on these raging roads

For we are the broken, the angry, the few
Are we really so different, or are we just like you?

Are we so deserving of the distrust and dissent?
Are we really so damaged that we can’t make a mends?

We have tolerance and love, inclusive of all
We have passion and fire, unknown by the fools

We are the young, yet still are the weary
An entire generation screaming, why can’t you hear me?
Oct 2019 · 86
Questions to me
Michael Oct 2019
Am I just a number?
What am I worth,
Is my value equal to my impact,
Or am I suffering diminishing returns?

Am I just a name?
How am I defined?
Am I a man of means,
Or the poorest you’ll see?

Am I just a resource?
What am I to you?
Do I hold any meaning to you,
Or am I just useful?

Am I just a moment?
How will you remember me?
Will I be thought of fondly,
Or will I just fade into the void of the forgotten past?

Am I really alive?
How do I measure my existence?
Am I truly living,
Or am I merely surviving?
Apr 2019 · 76
The race to sleep
Michael Apr 2019
We try to sleep,
Through the night,
All the while the stars and moon weep.
They cry for the sun,
The warmth of its glow,
But behind the shadow of the earth it has run.
For day and night,
Just like death and life
Is dark and bright,
Locked into its battle,
The eternal fight.
We have within us,
Something special to see,
The light within you,
Is the same as in me.
We are all creations,
Of love and life,
We are all in the shadow of the the dark of night.
We witness the struggle,
The never ending chase,
As the light gives in,
The darkness makes way.
It takes a hold,
It creates a space,
We are all part of the struggle,
The eternal race.
Apr 2019 · 155
Goodbye
Michael Apr 2019
If you knew before you started,
Would you have made the decision you did,
That lead to you departing?
If you felt the truth all along,
Yet held your tongue,
Is it me that is truly in the wrong?
Life is ever changing, twisting and turning,
The decisions we take,
Determine the outcome of our journey.
Goodbye for now is all I can say,
You may come back to me,
Yet that day is not today.
Goodbye for now
Nov 2018 · 165
To all those around me
Michael Nov 2018
Watching you grow through the years I’ve known you,
Has been a journey of twists and turns, of joy and of pain.
Through all of this there is something I’d like to say.
Thank you for teaching me so much about myself,
Thank you for making me a better man,
Thank you for all the love I’ve felt,
Thank you for everything.
Sometimes in life we forget to say thank you to the people that make us who we are.
Nov 2018 · 1.2k
For Stan...
Michael Nov 2018
On that day,
When the sky clouded over,
All the heroes stood Shoulder to shoulder.
Villains on each side with tears in their eyes.
They each took a turn,
To show their love and to say goodbye.
None hurt more than peter.
He was held up by tony and reed,
For they feared that the boy would fall due to weakness in his knees.
They all lost their creator,
That is plain to see,
But peter lost his father,
And now complete is something he will never be.
Peter screamed out, Please just take me. Don’t you dare leave me!
Where will I be without him, My father, Stan the man lee.
The passing of Stan lee was a terrible day for those of us whom are comic fans. For Stan spider-man was like his son, so I wrote this goodbye for Peter and Stan.
Oct 2018 · 227
Money
Michael Oct 2018
I don’t really want it,
But you tell me I need it.
Hands reach in to take what I have.
More hands reach in to take what I need.
You have plenty, so why take mine?

They say it makes the world turn,
But it does not turn mine.
For me it does a good job,
When it comes to making it stop.

My bank balance is low,
But my head is held high.
If only I could feed my children,
Using my own stubborn pride.

Only then could my babies eat like kings.
Money is something of a myth in my house. Paying bills is a worry and keeping a roof over my babies heads is the biggest worry of all. I absolutely detest money and the social pressures that come along with it, but in this world I have no choice but to chase numbers.
Oct 2018 · 101
My love
Michael Oct 2018
Excuse me there,
May I be so bold,
As to ask you fair and square,
If it is me you would like to hold?

You can hold my hand,
You can put your arm around me,
You can do whatever or do nothing,
It’s your choice, if you want me.

For me there is only one thing,
Just one thing in life that I need,
And that is you stood beside me,
In times of joy and times of need.
Sometimes all we need in life is someone to get through all the struggles with.
Oct 2018 · 230
My brother
Michael Oct 2018
I received a call today,
From someone whom I call a friend.
I did not want to hear it,
Not those words you had to say.
My friends are my family,
So it’s safe to say,
That you my friend, are my brother today.
Through the hard times,
I hope I can say,
That my support you will have,
And by your side I will stay.
If I could take away your pain I would,
But instead I will stay where I stood,
I’d take it for you if I could.
Tell me what you need,
And for you my brother,
That’s what you will receive.
It’s scary as hell,
When you hear you may lose a friend.
You my brother, from now till the end.
A friend of mine got in touch to tell me that he has found a lump and that the doctors are investigating. He’s having a tough time that may get tougher, but he will have me for support no matter what.
Michael Oct 2018
You wonder why your life gets darker,
Yet you treat people like you are their master.
You are using ****,
And a liar to boot.
You want love and respect,
Yet only say stuff you?
Grow up you pig,
It’s time to be a man.
They are your children,
Don’t you understand?
You tell them lies,
And feed them with hate,
Yet here you are wondering,
Why are they late?
You reap what you sew,
Or so they say.
By that measure you must be surrounded by hate.
My step children, unfortunately, have an absolute scumbag for a biological father. He is abusive, manipulative and an outright liar
Oct 2018 · 104
Having a cold
Michael Oct 2018
Nothing makes us feel more old,
Than having responsibilities,
When you have a head full of cold.
No snuggles for you,
You’re an adult now.
Get off your behind,
Go help others to fly.
A cold is minor as Illnesses go,
Something we cope with,
And still get up and go.
But wouldn’t it be better,
If we could relax,
Take the time to heal,
Instead of sprinting towards collapse.
But instead we tell ourselves,
That we’ll be ok.
That we will live on to fight another day.
We just won’t enjoy it, not that it matters anyway.
Having a cold makes us feel rough but nonetheless we often just dismiss it and suffer in silence.
Oct 2018 · 126
The human enigma
Michael Oct 2018
To be human is truly an enigma,
A puzzled desperately waiting to be solved.
Are we this,
Or are we that?
The answer to which we may never know.
More and more questions emerge,
As life begins to unfold.
Questions without answers,
Just more pieces for us to hold.
We start with nothing,
And we end up the same.
But we hold all of the parts,
On our journeys way.
We try to assemble it,
The best that we can.
Our painting is a mess,
A puzzle full of holes,
Until the day we decide,
That enough is enough,
And that we should just enjoy our lives.
We drop all the pieces,
And close our eyes,
We take a deep breath,
For the very last time.
And just for a moment,
We can enjoy the ride.
Right up until we say our final goodbyes.
Life is one big puzzle, trying to make the pieces fit.
Oct 2018 · 93
Life
Michael Oct 2018
We all want to live a little,
We all want to love a lot.
But you don’t get to decide,
Regardless of whether you like it or not.
So let go of your current misconceptions,
They only weigh you down,
With no exceptions.
We all have wants,
We all have needs.
Nobody has the life they chose,
Just the one they lead.
Life is all about choices, but not the ones you think.
Oct 2018 · 90
Embracing fear
Michael Oct 2018
I can sense your fear,
And that’s ok.
To be completely fearless in life,
That’s living the stupid way.
Fear is smart,
It keeps you alive.
Fear is careful,
It forces you to use your mind.
Fear can be shared,
I’ll show you mine.
For me fear is important,
It’s why I’m still alive.
Through all the pain and suffering,
One thing is clear,
The only real consistency in life is fear.
People get embarrassed when they have to admit they’re scared. There really is no need, if you fear then you have a great mind
Oct 2018 · 145
The fight
Michael Oct 2018
Life is hard,
That’s the way it’s meant to be.
We try so hard,
This is easy to see.
They say hard work pays off in the end,
On this I disagree.
How can death be the payout,
That doesn’t seem good to me.
We fight,
We struggle,
This is what makes our life.
If it was easy we’d have no reason,
No reason to fight,
And push for something better.
The final destination is irrelevant,
It’s the journey that makes us.
Hardship is what makes us.
Oct 2018 · 376
Confidently anxious
Michael Oct 2018
Life in this day and age,
Just as it has always been,
Is filled with anxiety, stress, and pain.
Are we enough?
Should we change?
Or is it ok for us to stay the same?
Nobody knows and nobody cares.
Only you can decide,
It’s your life and your mind.
Stand on your own two,
Just like they always told you.
With no support can we really thrive?
With no lift from others can we truly fly?
Indecisive in our assertions,
Second guessing our actions.
Our entire existence based on others reactions.
We are an ever growing mess,
Tell me, how are we to make any progress?
Anxiety is part of what makes us pathetically human
Oct 2018 · 132
Crime of the century
Michael Oct 2018
Running and running,
I hope they don’t catch me.
Ducking and diving,
They better not find me.
My crime is horrific,
But the punishment is worse.
It seems to be extreme,
Hardly befitting my transgression.
All I did was speak,
An exercise of self expression.
Is my inner voice really that obscene?
Or are you chasing me just to be mean?
Not everyone likes it when I speak. They say the truth hurts.
Oct 2018 · 226
My impact on the world
Michael Oct 2018
My impact is small,
Difficult to see.
My efforts are enormous,
On show for all but me.
If only my impact came close to my effort,
If only, if only.
Maybe then it would be worth it.
My mark on this world is tiny,
My own expectations it did not meet.
The energy I put in is endless,
So vast it makes me weep.
When will my hard work pay off,
Will it be after I’m gone?
If that’s the case then I don’t want that.
I want to be noticed now,
Not remembered after.
My impact on this world is small, the effort I put into life is not.
Oct 2018 · 155
Let it all go
Michael Oct 2018
Our time here is short,
So make the most of it while it lasts.
The only way is forward,
So don’t worry about the past.
Your past mistakes are gone,
So leave them where they are.
Your constant self imposed burden,
Is the only reason they live on.
Learn to let them go,
Before it is too late.
Your future will be brighter,
If you learn to let go of your mistakes.
Don’t live in the past. Let your past go, it is dead weight
Oct 2018 · 103
My monster, my beast.
Michael Oct 2018
They say I have fire in my soul,
They say I have passion in my heart,
But that’s only part of me,
Just half of the whole.

Within me lies a monster,
A beast of infinite darkness.
The lighter side of me,
That’s my internal fraudster.

There are parts of me that I do not show.
For fear of your reaction,
If you saw the real me,
Surely you would not want to know?

Of myself I am unsure,
If I am truly worthy.
When I look in the mirror I see the monster,
Of this I am sure.
In ya all lies darkness, it is part of what we are.
Oct 2018 · 75
Hatred
Michael Oct 2018
Hatred is not a crime,
It’s a side effect of life.
No feelings should be taboo,
They’re what makes us who we are.
So when you feel hatred,
Don’t feel shame,
Because it’s just a feeling,
And they’re all the same.
They’re just chemicals floating around our brains.
So instead of worrying about hate,
Address the situation that made you feel that way.
Make that better and your negative feelings will go away
Hating someone or something is not nice but it is only a feeling. When you deal with the situation that causes it in the first place most of the time those feelings go away.
Oct 2018 · 156
Love
Michael Oct 2018
Love is a fickle thing.
It changes its mind,
And makes your head spin.

Over it we have no control,
It’s completely spontaneous.
No matter what we do our hearts will roll.
All we can do is follow where they go.

Our hearts lead us,
Our heads look on in wonder.
Life as a human has complexity,
Infinite in their number.

Trying to figure it all out,
And exert some control,
Is nothing but a fools game,
But it’s all we know.
Love is as complicated as it is beautiful.
Oct 2018 · 122
Changing us or same old you
Michael Oct 2018
Knowing what I know now,
And if I could go back,
Would I take the time to change,
Review myself and backtrack?
I honestly don’t know,
Only a guess I could make,
To say that actually I’d choose to stay the same.
The events of my life made me who I am now,
For better or worse,
I have have strength in me now.

If you could go back,
Would you change anything?
I hope not because to not be you would be a sin.
You are an amazing person,
And don’t you forget it,
To change that now,
Would make you regret it.
If you could travel back in time would you love your life in a different way?
Oct 2018 · 130
My message to you
Michael Oct 2018
Hey you,
What are you doing today?
How are you feeling,
Would you tell me if you’re not ok?
I am here if you need me,
No matter what you have to say.
I am around if you want me,
Would you like me to stay?
Am I an annoyance,
That just gets in the way?
Or am I what you need,
When you’re having your worst day?
I want to help and support you,
To be what you need on any day.
Being there for somebody is the most important job any of us will ever have
Oct 2018 · 486
Spectators of life
Michael Oct 2018
I see them watching me,
All eyes aimed at my life,
Everyone trying to see,
Waiting for me to trip or stumble.
I may fall, I may fail,
But no matter what I will pick myself up,
I will restart my game,
So I can try again.
No giving up for me,
Surely this you can see?
I will always push forward,
That’s the only way I know how to be.
Life is hard,
That’s a fact,
A truth for us all.
So worry about your own life,
Rather than waiting for me to fall.
Just been thinking about all the people who spend their time waiting for me to mess up and are completely ignorant of their own shortcomings
Michael Oct 2018
Winning is losing,
In such a different form,
Losing is winning no more
When we win we lose, no matter the situation
Oct 2018 · 152
No more fight
Michael Oct 2018
We fight with all we have,
We lose the things that we never had.
Life is one submission after another,
We aim for one, but achieve the other.
We are all here standing,
Ready to take our number,
Completely unaware the we are all going under.
The will to fight is nothing but illusion,
The want to continue is born of confusion.
We all stand strong,
Yet in the end we fold.
We all talk a big talk,
But only our words are bold.
We can give up now,
And be forever content.
Or we can continue,
And be further broken and bent.
Are we broken, or are we beaten? Or are we really never the champion to begin with?
Oct 2018 · 98
The pain in my head
Michael Oct 2018
I have pain in my head that won’t go away.
A constant headache that is with me everyday.
No let up, no reprieve,
Just constant thumping pain for me.
I feel like my head could burst,
And what a relief that wold be,
Because the continuation of pain is truly the worst.
Surgeons cut me open,
My brain they could see.
Why is it that they still have not been able to fix me?
My tumour is gone,
But my brain feels the same.
The danger has passed,
But the suffering won’t go away.
Several years ago I had a brain tumour removed. I am left with a constant thumping headache every moment of every day. Some days, like today for instance, it’s just too much to bare.
Oct 2018 · 103
Bumbling, stumbling fool
Michael Oct 2018
When I speak I stutter,
As if there is no worth,
To the words that I utter.
My thoughts sound out in a jumble,
A mess that cannot be deciphered or untangled.
My thoughts are clear but my sounds are a mumble.
If only I could convey my message,
Give to you my thoughtful deliverance.
Instead I make myself look like I am swimming in ignorance.
When I write my words are clear,
But you’ll never see it because of my fear.
My fear of failure,
My fear of disappointment,
From you, in me.
If only I could share my mind,
So you could see things through my eyes,
So you could feel these feelings of mine.
Because my mouth does not connect to my mind.
My mind is sharp but my voice is weak,
I feel nothing but shame,
When I speak my bumbling speech.
My inability to speak with clarity is my worst enemy
Oct 2018 · 165
Remember me
Michael Oct 2018
When I am gone,
Will you remember me?
Will you hold on,
Or let go of my memory?
Don’t say anything,
In time we will see.
Am I worth holding on to?
No would be the answer from me.
Don’t waste your time on me,
Your time is finite and fading.
Don’t wear out your heart on me,
Your heart is fragile and at risk of braking.
I bring you pain,
Yet you still thank me.
There will always be a place for you in my heart.
I have always loved you,
To the end,
And from the start
Will you remember me when I’m gone?
Oct 2018 · 105
Will it work?
Michael Oct 2018
Why does my imperfect action,
Create such a negative reaction?

Why does your malicious intent,
Leave me feeling spent?

Am I really to blame?
I think so, do you say the same?

Do we have a future together,
The continuation no matter the weather?

Are we destined to soar,
Love, pain, and everything more?
Love and relationships are a tricky business that involves lots of hard work and self assessment.
Oct 2018 · 113
Patience
Michael Oct 2018
Patience is power over the effects of time,
Patience is the power to let the negativity subside.
Knowing when to move,
And when to stay in line.
We don’t all have it,
But we do all need it.
You have the patience of a saint,
I have an inability to wait.
You have what I need,
But cannot give it to me.
Patience is not a virtue I possess
Oct 2018 · 98
Line in the sand
Michael Oct 2018
Where do you draw your line in the sand?
Is it lonely where you stand?
Do you need love and support,
Or do you need space to walk?
We all have our side,
There is no team.
Just the place we stand,
And nowhere in between.
Our position is empty,
Our hearts lonely and weak.
Under us the ground crumbles at our feet.
We start to fall,
With no chance of reprieve,
Only eternal darkness,
Looking for the light we seek.
Just a thought or two
Oct 2018 · 191
Glass heart
Michael Oct 2018
Is it enough that I am me?
Am I really all I can be,
Is there more,
Or am I less.
Do I really have limits,
Or just boundaries to test?
I strive to be better,
But achieve stagnation.
Is this mediocrity really cause for celebration?
I judge me and I do not pass,
The strength of my heart is brittle like glass.
My soul weeps with pain,
Will it last?
Or is it just another flash in the pan,
A prang in my heart.
Weak and strong at all times
Oct 2018 · 248
Good and evil
Michael Oct 2018
Good and evil exists within us all,
Nobody is one of the other.
A line we all share,
A balancing act of biblical proportions.
There is no god,
There is no devil,
There is only us.
Our failings,
Our successes,
Our imperfections.
Only us and our actions.
Life is one long tightrope Walk.
Sep 2018 · 144
To be forgotten
Michael Sep 2018
We start with nothing,
And we end up with the same.
It’s the events in the middle,
That defines the nature of our game.
For some it’s intense, fiery and short.
For others it’s a careful and considerate walk.
We strive for difference,
Yet we achieve deadly equality.
We try to make our mark,
Just to be remembered.
But in the end we fade,
Like we knew we would from the start.
With nothing left behind,
Not a scrap to be measured.
Is it worth all the effort,
Just to then disappear.
All the pain we experience,
Year upon year.
Should I stop now,o
And just give up here?
Or should I push on,
Despite my desperation and fear?
Just a thought or two on where we all end up and our legacies end up too.
Sep 2018 · 246
Undiscovered journey
Michael Sep 2018
Life is flowing,
Rapid and uncertain,
Like a river carving it’s path through the land.
It twists and it turns,
It relents for no man.
Rapids and waterfalls,
Are all part of the journey.
There’s no way to prepare,
So we all set out early.
No matter the course we take,
Or the length of the ride,
Our destination is the same,
We all get there in time.
Some of us fight it,
And that’s ok.
While others lay back,
And let it sweep them away.
Do what you want,
Not just what you think you can.
We only ride once,
So be the best person you can.
A few thoughts on the nature of life.
Sep 2018 · 104
You and your mum
Michael Sep 2018
You say you want love,
Then why ignore your mum?
She cares for you deeply,
And you know she does.
You say she doesn’t talk enough,
But you ignore her when she does.
You want to feel connection,
And love in all its celebration.
You need some support,
But you dismiss her when beside you she tries to walk.
All she wants is to be your mum,
To care for her children,
Every single one.
My step daughter and her mum have a strained relationship at best. It’s so sad.
Sep 2018 · 170
The object of my worry
Michael Sep 2018
For you I am so worried,
Getting myself worked up into a flurry.
I need to know you’re safe,
Or if I need to take you out of that place.
To me you are my world,
For you I’d destroy the world.
To you I am an annoyance,
Always questioning your safety.
I fear that one day you may snap,
And turn around and hate me.
I just hope on that day you choose to live your life safely.
People in my life make me so worried. They must get so irritated with me constantly checking on them.
Sep 2018 · 553
My escape
Michael Sep 2018
Writing, for me, is an escape.
An escape from the hatred that surrounds me.
An escape from the people who want to hurt me.
An escape from the people who send attackers after me.
An escape from the people who use others to get at me.
An escape from the darkness that lives within me.
An escape from the darkness that lives in you.
My step children’s family sent attackers after me. A person with a knife attacked me for them because they are jealous of my relationship with my step children. I can’t retaliate because of the step children. I can’t seek legal help because of my step children. I am stuck in limbo, with my safety on the line.
Michael Sep 2018
For ten years I have poured my energy into you,
For ten years you have just said ***** you.
You all stand there,
All three of you.
Watching me fade away into nothingness,
Enjoying the sight of my growing emptiness.

I give you love and affection,
You give me abjection,
Hurt and despair.
Am I truly deserving of such negative inflection?
Have I in that time hurt you, as you hurt me?
Or have I showed you that I care?

I’d love to say no more,
But I am not that person that you seem to deplore.
I am here but I have feelings too,
Not everything in this world is about you.
Wasting emotional energy on people who don't care about me.
Sep 2018 · 132
Turning point
Michael Sep 2018
I have come to a crossroads in my life,
Pain goes left and suffering right.
Do I turn and take one road,
Or do I stay here with nowhere to go.

I am at a loss as to what I should do,
If only I had some guidance,
Maybe even from you.
Someone somewhere, just tell me what to do.

I really need some help,
But this you already know.
I stand on my own,
With nowhere to go.

Here I am in limbo,
Waiting for someone to want to know.
Here I am feeling empty,
Fighting the ebb and flow.
Life is one crossroads after another
Sep 2018 · 95
Experience of nothing
Michael Sep 2018
I try to be happy,
But life has other ideas.
I try to be a good man,
Yet all I feel is pain through these tears.
Maybe one day it’ll all be worth it,
Or maybe I’ll be dead.

Life is hard,
In this I have no doubt.
If my experience has taught me anything,
It’s that there really is no way out.
When you find one,
Don’t bother to shout.
When I approach,
It’ll just shut down.

Do I give into the darkness?
Or do I continue on regardless?
Just a thought...
Michael Sep 2018
Will there ever be a time when you consider my feelings?
Or will I, to you, always hold no meaning?

My emotions are not toys to be played with.
My heart is hardly beating.
From all this pain and struggle,
I’m barely able to continue feeling.

I tell you my feelings don’t matter,
But really I think they do.
My cold and weary heart is struggling,
Yet desperate to continue.

Every time you take,
more of me falls away.
There will come a time,
Although not on this day,
When there is nothing of me left.
Not even my remains.

But hold back your tears and remain strong of heart,
Because you don’t need me anyway,
You didn’t from the start, nor any other day.
Just thinking about how many of my relationships in life consist of me giving and never receiving.
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