Everything I try I have lost faith in me it is the story written of my destiny there is a lot to what could be but the pages of my thoughts are left empty I owe lot to the belief of my family They're still wishing the best for me but I want to check the exitdoor I just have no self belief like before.
I felt it last night That feeling of empty. When you blindly throw trust, And hungry hands choke it to death. I couldn't breath. Skin raw and stung, You burnt me with a fiery poker, Branding me a fool. Calling me out for my desperate need To be longed for. I felt numb as you held me. Yet too hot. Walls closed in. I stared at your ceiling, Wondering when it was okay to leave. Collect my pride from the floor and go. I am just a piece of meat I forgot, Sorry. Thank you for reminding me of who I am.
Those moments you left me to my thoughts, I felt a familiar warmth. Slightly comforting being alone next to someone
(Slightly messed up is what it is)
I felt slightly nothing.
When I left, your back was turned. And I could breathe again. As if I had been holding my breath for 14 hours. (You had me for 14 hours) That's how long it takes to learn. I found money on my way out, I stole it. I felt I deserved it. You wasted me My time My body You insulted my intelligence. I stole cigarettes as well. To pull the life back into my lungs. Funny how something so intimate and personal, Can become a power grab. That's when I tune out. Go limp, numb, turn off my brain. I wish you had paid me... Give me a good Yelp review at least 5 stars *******. I felt scared. *******
They come in unannounced, united, and uninvited, demanding my attention my hands and body are in pose with contention at the fault of being self aware I let these thoughts linger, letting them leave their mark streaks, smudges and smears leaving when they please, only to soon return Tears down my face, Lord where is the grace? A curse at times of the mindful
Writing about my first experience with meditation and the struggles that came along