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320 · May 2019
i'm not scared of dying
blackbiird May 2019

i'm not scared of dying.
i'm scared of not knowing who will be at my funeral.

320 · May 2019
overcompensating
blackbiird May 2019

i can't make my heart
stop loving you
so my mind creates a million
reasons as to why i shouldn't.

319 · Oct 2019
depression is
blackbiird Oct 2019

not always a frown.
sometimes it's a smile covered
by deceitful eyes.

not always a tear.
sometimes it's making everyone
else laugh while you hide your
tears in the shower.

not always that voice
in your head telling you
that you aren't worth it.
sometimes it's a loved one
saying "I'll never leave you."

not always shown widely
but is always felt deeply
by the one who carries it.

You never know what someone could be going through. Be Kind.
318 · Feb 2019
eternal fountain
blackbiird Feb 2019

go forth
among the lake
and take a sip
of My never-ending
love for you.

quench yourself
in the goodness
of My lands.

and I shall
replenish your
soul with
eternal life.

313 · May 2019
early sleep
blackbiird May 2019

you took an early sleep and all i can do is wonder
where you are when i watch the sun set over the mountains.
you were so young
but you'll never know what your life could have been.

In memory of my beloved friend, Jessica. Gone too soon. <3
313 · Jan 2019
I kissed the Devil.
blackbiird Jan 2019
I kissed the devil for a brief moment of ecstasy
But lost my heavenly treasure.
And now I stand outside the gates
On my knees, one last time
Hoping You’ll forgive me once more.
312 · Jan 2020
bitter
blackbiird Jan 2020
sweet
chocolate
naked
and afraid
hidden
deep
within
the crevices
of the
vanilla.

never
withdrawing
from its
sticky
twisted
grip.
stay informed. its time to break free .
307 · Apr 2019
Bleeding hearts.
blackbiird Apr 2019
Invisible hearts hide the most pain
and visible hearts bleed the most in
front of a crowd of by-passers who can’t
see their blood pouring out.
Instead, their beating hearts become bleeding hearts thirsting for life, hoping for someone to give it.
blackbiird Mar 2019

i didn't fall in love
with someone who wanted
to rewrite my story.
i fell in love with someone
who wanted to give me a new ending.

302 · Jun 2019
progress
blackbiird Jun 2019

I terminated a toxic friendship today.
I guess that's progress.

I vowed to never give
my soul to people who don't even water theirs.
that's progress.

302 · Dec 2018
chaos
blackbiird Dec 2018
If you rule with chaos,
you will reap what you sow.
Even Satan was an angel before he fell.
301 · Apr 2019
oxygen
blackbiird Apr 2019
You’re my oxygen.
without you I cease to exist.
300 · May 2019
looks can be deceiving
blackbiird May 2019

my eyes undressed you from across
the room and i fell in love but
little did i know that underneath those clothes
was a heart of stone.

297 · Mar 2019
Kelsie.
blackbiird Mar 2019

if I could replace all the
words in every book
with your name
I would,

but no amount of words on a page
could ever compare to what your heavenly
father calls you:

His daughter.
His most prized possession.
The one who took the nails
so that you may live.

so dry your tears
and dance with Him.
for He dances beside you even
on your darkest nights.

For my dear friend Kelsie. I love you! God loves you.
294 · Feb 2019
sun and moon
blackbiird Feb 2019

stay close to people who feel like sunlight
and run away from those who feel like the moon.

292 · Mar 2019
a.m. thoughts.
blackbiird Mar 2019

you'll never move forward
if you're always looking behind.
take the road less traveled
and see where it takes you.

you'll never grow if
you stop watering in the midst
of the drought.
keep plowing and
watch your harvest grow.

291 · May 2019
suicide
blackbiird May 2019
suicide isn’t an option.
suicide isn’t an option.
suicide isn’t an option.
but why does it seem like the only option for me?
surely there must be another remedy
287 · May 2019
Kaleel
blackbiird May 2019
Of the sweetest sound,
Heart captivated by you.
My strong warrior.
For my awesome boyfriend :)
285 · Mar 2019
chalk dust
blackbiird Mar 2019
fragile , white~dusted fragments
of my heart on the ground
where you walked on it
like chalk dust.
284 · Jun 2019
Can I borrow your radio?
blackbiird Jun 2019
Can I borrow your radio while I shower?
I need to see the darkness before it slips away.
blackbiird Dec 2019

then he died
and left me alone
with my demons.

I'd do anything to get You back.
282 · Apr 2019
return/dear God.
blackbiird Apr 2019

I am not a human being.
I’m an angel waiting for my Father to return.
Therefore, you cannot compare my earthly body to my spiritual body
For my earthly body shall decay,
but my spiritual body shall live on for all eternity.

281 · Jan 2019
paradox of me and you.
blackbiird Jan 2019

i froze my tears
just in case I might need
them again
in case you decide
to light another fire
with your lies.

this is the paradox
of me and you.
like water & oil
we forced ourselves to mix.
but instead we just floated
on top of one another.

278 · Oct 2019
A message to Donald Trump
278 · May 2019
victim.
blackbiird May 2019

i was simply the victim of your love.
while you were planning my funeral, I was waiting to die.

277 · May 2019
repentance
blackbiird May 2019

my soul burns from these
heavy burdens i've been carrying
but when i look into your eyes
all i see is repentance.
god forbid i'm buried
before i release the ghosts
of my past.

277 · May 2019
the moon and her angels
blackbiird May 2019
i can still taste the cherry cola
on your lips as we shared
our final moment staring at
the moon waiting for the
angels to descend and take you away.
277 · Jan 2020
confined
blackbiird Jan 2020

i am
not
a box
where
you
can
confine
the broken
pieces
of my heart
as if
it was still
whole.

i cannot
repair
what
you irrevocably
broke
with
your deceitful
and lustful
eyes.

i am not
a box
where you
can place
your demons
anytime
it is convenient
leaving me
with the burden
of carrying their voices
inside my head.

i am
not your puppet
and you
are not
my master.

277 · May 2019
office talk.
blackbiird May 2019
i no longer find solace
in my solitude because the voices in
my heard are too loud.
                      "your nose is too big"
"you're too fat"

          "you'll never be good enough"

"no one likes you"

"better off dead"

and the office talk begins.
275 · Jun 2019
a tumultuous night.
blackbiird Jun 2019
My boyfriend just broke up with me.
blackbiird Dec 2018
Let our love part the seas
So that we may walk on water
And into an eternal heaven
Where only our two souls shall dwell.
273 · Feb 2018
Valentine's Day
blackbiird Feb 2018
Hearts plastered with sickening love.
Fake smiles sprung from deceitful hearts.
Children crying, babies dying.
What a wonderful world to be had.
273 · Feb 2018
Heights
blackbiird Feb 2018
I sit in silence as the rain falls down the window pane--
each droplet more fierce than the last.
fragile footsteps embrace the threshold
and the rain stops.

Scattered little ants dread the earth,
aimlessly dancing amongst the shadows.
from these heights, the world drifts into dust.
what a glorious sight as I fall one last time.
272 · Dec 2018
ten minutes.
blackbiird Dec 2018
I wonder what it would be like to die for ten minutes.
for ten minutes, to be at peace.
to be free from the chaos.
for ten minutes, I wonder what I would miss in life
wondering if anyone would even care if
I was gone.

for ten minutes.
271 · Aug 2019
i am a ghost
blackbiird Aug 2019
in this thing
called life
yet everyone
still tries
to make me
visible
just to
make me
d
di
dis
disa
disap
disapp
disappe
disappea
r
270 · Dec 2018
don't/ love martyr series
blackbiird Dec 2018
Don’t promise me the world if
you aren’t prepared to keep it spinning.

Don’t let me fall
if you aren’t prepared to catch me.

Don’t promise me sunshine
in the midst of the rain.


Above all:

Don’t promise to sew my heart back together
only to put a band-aid on it.
268 · Feb 2019
melancholy happiness
blackbiird Feb 2019

my tears bled
like diamonds onto the sidewalk
and the sun soaked them up
before they had a chance to shine.

262 · Jan 2019
peculiar feeling.
blackbiird Jan 2019
I'm not sure if you're addicted
to my sadness
or if I've gotten used to
the silence that creeps
between us while we sleep
but there's something
peculiar about
the way you
breathe.

it's enticing
so intoxicating
that I don't mind crying
next to you
for a little while longer.
259 · Jan 2019
if our love was poem.
blackbiird Jan 2019
If our love was a poem,

I’d frame it and place it

Next to the Mona Lisa

So that it will live on forever

Next to a  masterpiece.
blackbiird Dec 2019

in this big, empty house
where your scent taunts
me and the silhouette
of your ghost teases me

blackbiird Dec 2018
Thank you for loving me at my worst.
I promise to give you my heart at my best.
blackbiird Jan 2019
The cruelest form of heartbreak
I’ve ever experienced
Was loving someone
Who couldn’t love
Themselves long enough
To stay alive.
For me.

I wish I could tell you the cruelest form of heartbreak
But you are no longer here
To read this.

So ask me what the cruelest form of heartbreak
That I’ve ever witnessed
And I’ll tell you:
It’ s loving someone
Who couldn’t stay alive
Long enough to
Know her worth.
For Jess. I love you. I miss you.
253 · Feb 2020
she is the sun
blackbiird Feb 2020
she is the sun
and he's her world
spinning ever so slowly
until she warms every
Fiber of his being.
253 · May 2019
read backwards & forwards.
blackbiird May 2019

My heart only beats when you’re near.
Because
I need help.
And
You’ve tattooed your name on my heart.

249 · Dec 2018
Dear God
blackbiird Dec 2018
Dear God,

please keep my head above water,
even when I feel like drowning,
I know your hands are guiding the waves.
blackbiird Dec 2018
a home full of misery is better than
a lifetime of pretend.
a step forward in the right direction
is better than a million steps
in the wrong direction.
a broken heart is better than
a lifetime with the wrong person.

I’d wait a thousand more years
than to live a lifetime wondering
if there is something “better.”
240 · May 2019
return.
blackbiird May 2019
sometimes the departure

from a broken relationship

is easier than the return of

discovering yourself again—

finding that little speck of hope

that is just enough to keep your heart

beating in the still of the darkness

when everyone and everything fades away.

but trust that the stars

will catch fire in your heart.

to love again and

to be loved so hard

that you don’t even think

about the brokenness of your past.
239 · Jan 2019
twist of the tongue
blackbiird Jan 2019
if only we used our tongues
to speak words of beauty
rather than to cut someone
down like a dagger.
the twist of the
tongue is a powerful tool.
  
it’s shame you used yours
to cut out my heart
when all I wanted was to love you.
blackbiird Jan 2019
I chased the stars in my dreams
hoping to see them collide in reality.
but only stardust remained
when I woke.
and I knew, our collision could
never emerge from the darkness.
234 · Apr 2019
number three/the 21 poems.
blackbiird Apr 2019
i'm underwater
drowning yet you
continue to fill the tank with water.
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