What does love look like today?

the sadness leaving,
joy coming in the morning,
getting back in bed after breakfast,
steam breaking down tension,
oil pushing through the feeling of not being touched by the other person I love,
mending and healing
after cleaning out the wounds,
lying in the night,
knowing there is light tomorrow,
God say the same ... knowing that there is living to do tomorrow.

i'm a mess and i'm still untangling the strings
breaking down walls
breathing
being
building.
i've shed layers of dead skin,
repaired the broken
but never healing all at once...
never coming together the way i should
never falling apart when i'm ready to
never breaking at the right angles
that make it clean enough
to pick up after myself.

What does love look like today?

love today looks like mountains that I can’t make move or see over
like breaking and no space to sit down and put the pieces back together
love today looks like rain w/ no peace to lie down and enjoy the falling
like the sun building up its walls in reaction to me
like myself building up walls in reaction to me...

I always exit the train before it crashes,
I am so frightened of becoming someone else’s collateral damage...
Then the sadness sets in, because I don’t know what happens once I leave.
Could I have waited a little longer?
Would I be the sun in a new story?
Would the rain stop?
Would the pain stop?
Would I stop being scared and planning ahead because of it?
Did I miss something beautiful?
... I’m sure I did.
Next time I should stay on the train and wait.
Maybe there won’t be sadness after the crash...
Maybe the rain will stop...

What does love look like today?

Today love looks like sweet, sultry music...
I feel myself a child of the moon,
Dancing with wine in her hands.
I feel like lavender and honey,
Sweet and attending to
Your breathing,
Your melting,
Your heavy...
Like skin on skin
Like oil on canvas
Like chocolate candles
Like running all over each other...

today looks like knowing.
it looks like coming to and realizing that making me feel hard to love has more to do with your heart than mine.

realizing you brought out the lesser parts of me.
the unease,
the pain,
the doubt,
all this waiting

and in the end you are only sadness.
and i’ve fought my whole life for happy.
i’ve fought my whole life for the opposite of you.
there are no regrets here, because this brought me closer to myself.
closer to trusting me.

all this time i was waiting for the silence,
to hear the right voice in my head.
...it took so long
because i thought I was waiting for you.

today love looks like
a full body scrub.
lips
and face included.
all traces of anything not alive being removed.
all traces of anything not meant to be here gone.
feeling softer,
more free,
but no closer to ridding this body of you.
these lips
of you,
these legs
of you.
I’d clean this heart of you
if there were something made for messes there.

At 12:20 pm today ...
love looks like
wishing
wanting
and letting go.
wake up,
let go.
sleep,
let go.
wake up,
let go.
sleep,
let you go.
it’s never ending
...until it does,
but what will that look like?
will this ending look like you?

... love today looks like
wishing
wanting
and letting go... of you baby .

today love looks like falling water
like honey too hot to touch or hold anywhere
like snow too minor to sheet white on the ground
like ice cream too big on a sweaty summer day
like wounds continuously splitting open just before the healing
like me continuously splitting open just before the healing

love today looks like morning.
the sun rises and so do i.
rising to breathe
and let go,
let go enough to give back to her,
let go enough to give back him.
making peace with being enough
for me in this present moment,
but not being what you wanted.
i am not what you want
and that is okay.
i wish you'd hold onto that
instead of repeatedly dropping
my heart or letting it come apart in your hands.

today love looks like
closing out a chapter
and starting brand new.
love looks like dancing into happy
and taking the necessary
deep breaths to get there,
like leaving you beautiful,
but knowing there is more than that
waiting for me.
knowing that I am more than that and I am waiting for me.
love today looks like legs for days
gracing this earth.
vocals for miles hitting all the wrong notes in the worst beautiful way.
but nothing is more freeing than dancing in t-shirt and *******
singing songs with words both made for feeling high and simply feeling.
i’m singing through this chapter and i won’t come back to wait for you.

love today looks like
Balance & Composure
and a little bit of The Maine
some Jhene Aiko
and Jessie Ware.
it looks like letting myself feel everything,
but staying silent.
all these questions
that will never have answers.
all this holding when the middle is empty.
today I am dressed in red,
feeling blue.
wishing i tried to put on lipstick.

love today looks like
yoga right out of bed
and coffee.

...deep breathing,
with only that and this body in mind.
it looks like wanting,
wanting more for myself
wanting more of myself
wanting it all for myself
wanting everything I deserve that makes me more than myself.
...wanting myself.

working though this tension
and realizing this pain is trying to tell me something.
my body has been communicating and it has taken me 27 years to become intelligent enough to listen.

I’m not ok
And I’m done letting that break my heart.
I’m going to forgive myself first this time.
I’m not going to add my disappointment to my situation.
I don’t want to add lightning to dark skies anymore.

And some days it’s ok to put makeup over it and dance.

And I will not let anyone make me feel bad about it.
About being pretty and broken.
About having a big heart but not enough to keep the beating steady.
About wanting your lips as clean up of this mess.
And your hands for grounding.
For needing the sun and coffee just as much as the moon and my pen.
About smiling and breaking at the same time.
About breathing and coming back together at the hands of myself again.

I want to hold your arms
Warm and breathe life into them
They are so strong and easy to let myself go in
I want to grant your back the grace to stand up tall and feel no pain in planting your feet in the ground
I want to kiss your hands
As you do mine
You don’t understand the life you put back into them when you do.
I want to warm your heart
Enough so that I can be the person you calm yourself for
I want to be your calm
Your crazy
Your beautiful
I want to be stable, insatiable ground for you
I want to reflect nature for you,
Something beautiful that outshines anything man made.
I want to reflect the consistency of the moon
The illumination of the sun
The sweetness in planting feet to soil
Body in ocean
I want to be what beaches are to northerners, to you
I want to be who you kiss Sunday morning
Who you want to come home to Friday night
I want to be your whiskey
I want to be a part of why you feel blessed
I want you… to be able to see me in my true essence
And I want you to know what your compliment,
Your genuine appreciation and respect means to me.
I want to do what hearts do, with you
I want to do what bodies come together for, with you.
I want to appreciate every muscle, every vein
From top to bottom and push you into ecstasies of pure bliss
As we will fall into exhaustion
Only to wake and create a scene all over again .
I want to be here, someday with you
I want to watch you leave out for work
And know that this is the home you will always come back to
I want to create different ways to mimic hearts with you
I want to blaze the trail to greatness with you
I will celebrate you
I do celebrate you
I see “we” in your eyes
And I feel the distance we put behind us when you hug me.
You match my need to keep moving
I want to bind “unlimited”, to your success
And passion to everything you do.
I want us to be wonders in our separation
And a force not to be countered in our together
I want to believe in “forever’s” with you.
I’d love… for the first time with you
I promise I would…
I’d bind myself to moving forward with you
Next to you
And forever do things just to catch the sun you have caught between your teeth
And the glimmer of the moon you have sprinkled in your deep chocolate eyes
I’d like to be bold enough to tell you what I could be
For you
With you
Behind you
Next to you
But, I am a flourish of nerves wrapped up in a facade of confidence
Trying to mimic the sea
Peaking back to see if you have caught a glimpse of my beautiful.

-Indigo Morrison

... And I keep wishing that
I knew your hands
like body knows bed
like body feels sun
like body knows coffee at 6am.
...And I'd venture to say
I'd like to create a masterpiece
of your being, with my lips
                               my mouth
                               my hands
                               thighs wrapped
around your strength .
I am beyond enamored,
No cigarette could chase these nerves.
No distance could put out this light-house
awaiting the arrival of you
               the pleasure of you
my ears ache to hear what
moans will make of you.
I want to render you
incapable of any feeling,
but longing and elation
only in relation
to me,
to us,
to you,
here in this bed
unbeknownst to the flow of life outside.
captivated
stimulated
by what's in here
                lies here
            naked here
              ready here
made and designed
to be adorned
and torn down
by you....

I wish you would stop looking at me like I'm perfect
So you can feel good about that wall you've built between you and I.
I am not where I want to be
I am not who I want to be
My spirit isn't glowing in tune with my heart
I have been breaking and shattering my whole life.
I have been building and falling all over this place
And no one sees it
No one is here to catch me,
But I am showing you
I am letting down these walls
Trying to show you there are mirrors
Because maybe you aren't meant to stitch yourself together...
Maybe I take your hand
And you take mine...
Maybe my heart wasn't meant to be broken my whole life
Before I knew I had the chance,
The choice,
To share it with someone.  
The chance,
The choice,
To choose you.

I want you to choose me
choose me every time.
I want you to love me like I love me
And see me how I want to be seen
I want to stop picking up the pieces
and putting me back together again.
I don't understand why it can't be you this time.
Or why I can't stop shattering

Why I can't just feel until it feels wrong and turn back around.
I want to stop getting ready for flight
I want to stop looking for the green light
saying "run already tiara"

I am tired
the type of tired that sleep wont help.
the type of tired that wants a nap soon after waking
the type of tired that wakes depression
the type of anxiety that gives way to exhaustion.
I want to focus on me without having to constantly hold the pieces together when the sun comes up
just to drown myself in river come night.

I want to stop being scared when I feel happy with him...
like his heart is going to leave
I want to stop being scared of love
because you gave yours to me and that's not something I'd ever want again ...
because it brought me back here
cleaning up this mess again
words running through my head again
almost lovers to let go of
almost truths that I can't hold onto.
all those whispers leaving cracks within something that I built strength into.
I am so tired of shattering.
And trying to stay strong so that no one knows that I want you to hold  me.

i could plan a vacation in the crook of your neck. in the curve of your hand. in the softness of your lips. i’d never need to rent out a home again. never have to sit still in a car. i’d move when you’d move. i’d inhale at your exhale. bury my heart in yours. you’d become a book to me... another way to travel without leaving.

And I want to say how irrevocably sorry I am…
That I did not open myself to the thought that you were a beacon of beautiful.
I did not love you enough to share you.
I did not give you anything to stand on.
I created a world for you that deterred love,
To deter pain.
Fought happiness to remain unscathed of disappointment.
You have created a black hole of your heart,
Nothing for anyone to fall into,
Grab hold of…
You have created a wall of your heart,
That slows down anything that could give it meaning …
Nothing means anything unless it is in relation to something else, someone else.
It is what matters here,
What we leave here,
For someone else to hold on to…
And you have given just enough to leave remnants of …
someone almost here
Almost alive
Almost open,
But nothing to hold on to.
I am sorry.
You are saddened.
You have created nothing to leave here,
And I never gave you the hope to hold on, that someone might stay here
Share here
Think gold
Of the sun adorning your
Being.
I am sorry that I didn’t see it,
They could have
They would have …
It was up to me
To let you feel…
To share you
//An Apology To Myself…

I like the way the moon sits low for me
And the way the sun lets me steal its light
And mix it with the God in me.
I feel it
Like I feel you .
Your vibe and your drive is un-equatable
I have never seen anything like it.
I’ve never seen beautiful in the way a man moves till I met you.
I’ve never wanted to share the river or the ocean with any man but, you.
But I’m willing to let you fall in love with something
That has always loved me.
And I swear I get scared to share my beautiful
But you have the soul of the bravest King
And I could never ….
Would never,
Want to deny you.
And the way you love but don’t chain me
I could cry thinking of our beautiful.
I am lost in your being
And I am not searching for the exit
I pray your love will flow through me all the way through my next lifetime.
Because I plan to see you there.
I take time to meditate on your love
Just so that I don’t forget to open myself and the universe to such spirits.
I love you so much that I run with you in my dreams
I have never felt a blessing quite like you
And the way the stars came together for this rhythm to inhibit this earth.
It is as if God has chosen an angel to walk with me
Feet in soil
Love on earth
And he is telling me that I am more than beautiful.

I have shed layers underneath layers of hiding
To give you my undoing.
I have saved myself for you to witness this.
I have been waiting to bare my truths, no more than once,
But just for you.
I have been saving my yes… for you.
And locking away my vulnerable for the man who would not destroy me in it.
It is your lips, your hands, and your body letting down its bullet proof.
There are no walls here,
No mountains to separate my hands
From your back, your lips, your chest,
All skin, on skin, on skin.
I have been building on my freedom,
And I am here now
Ready now… to revel in it,
With you.
Only you.
Always you.
I trust you not to ruin me,
But do not be scared to break me… down in this room,
Break down in this room
Let go inside me,
Fall slowly beside me.
I am no judge
There are no rules.
My body was crafted with you in mind,
Your hands were skilled in prelude to my pleasure.
There is no stopping here,
No moving too fast,
No going to slow.
I am meant for you, now.
You are safe in me.
Say the word,
Say it,
We can die a million times together here in this room.


-Indigo Morrison

I’ve found a writer that I love
Whose hair hangs loose like wild-flowers
Eyes shaped like almonds
And a smile that I swear set fire to the rain forest



And how weird this must be for me
Because I promised myself I’d never fall in love with someone who saw the curves in my sadness the way only a writer does
But I can’t help but cling to the way he uses his words with me
He has a clear, concise understanding of the fact that although I am a lover of words I am equally in love with someone who does not waste them
He is particular in his speech the same way he is particular in the way he consumes me
His words are just as strong as his love is
His mouth devours me the same way he divulges his truths



The way his light is as iridescent as the sun during the season of Christmas
But I swear his darkness is just as beautiful.
I am bound to the way my name flows off his lips and
His unconscious need to be near...
Whether it is his hand writing inches from mine
Or his legs stationed beneath me
Or the way he sleeps with gentle interludes



He wakes to touch me
Not to see if I am next to him because …he knows any bed that he is in, I am insurmountably indebted to.
He wakes to touch me
To let me know that he still dreams about me in his sleep
That he still wakes thinking of me even though there is no measurable distance between us



He wakes to touch me
Whether it be the “You are love” from his lips
Or the “I am yours” that he mouths
Or the way he makes both Chai tea and coffee for me, only for him to drink which one I decide to reconsider
He wakes to touch my being



And on the days I need to fall away for a little while
Whether I become consumed in a book or indebted to some instance of nostalgia
He waits for me...
And upon my arrival back to our world that we have created… he simply sits a note under our wedding picture …
“I am missing from you”
And I kiss the lips of the love at which I am bound
With a note in my hand
“I can only go without my breath for so long, for I have been longing to come back to you”
And as we find our way back to this place time and time again...
His arms wrap around me whispering “I am here”

By: Indigo Morrison

I want to dance alongside the trees and feel free... not just look beautiful.

You enigmatic freak of nature
The way your voice bows
And the guitar sounds
And your legs stomp forward to catch the beat
All while keeping a smile on your face
Your hands fly everywhere, your mouth is a vessel of peace, love and harmony
And I can’t bring myself to move away from you
You tell me…
“Move like you want, move like you need”
And I do all though I am trying not to
I am drawn to your inner wildings
And the way you can’t sit still
I enjoy the calm of you
Because it doesn’t come quite often
The whole of you is beautiful
And I love the way your spirit leads
I just want to be next to you
Be near you
When you vibrate…
It’s soothing to stand in your essence
I don’t think I’ve felt a movement quite like this
It doesn’t even necessitate you touching me
This is an ode to the being you are, the spirit in you
Keep moving
Don’t sit still
People might forget how to feel something.

My body is the makeup of both hard and softness
The reds, browns, golds...
The light and darkness of all my ancestors.
Some men have lost themselves here,
Some men have found themselves here
Most women stand stronger next to this.

I am both war grounds and silent cities.
I am both girl trying not to drown in all this sadness, all this loss...
And woman trying not to drown in all this sadness, all this loss.
I am your blonde roast that starts a riot in you first thing in the morning
And your dark roast that goes down smooth, leaving you to want for a little more...

I am both the scab healing over bruised skin
And the area surrounding it.
I am both strong legs and soft lips
...Brown skin deep enough to hide flaws still.

I am the softness in light...
And the softness of honey, but still thick enough to swim in.
I am the hardness of knees on ground, praying to the man or woman who has made me both hard and soft.

I am the woman who cannot forget enough to truly forgive,
But human enough to help you if the light goes out.
I am consistent no's and the yes that matters,
I am shattered glass and spilled milk.

This skin mirrors both the earth and everything you give the universe on a new moon .
I am both woman dancing in nothing, but a skirt to the rhythm of the ocean ...
And the ocean kissing the shore wishing to be as free as that woman.

Sometimes this mouth...
Sometimes my words bite,
Creating harsh weather,
But I am tired of making storms of people, storms of my relations.

I am both soft belly and strong back.
Something you can count on,
A woman you can be sure of.
You can bet on me,
You can stand near me,
You can fall in my presence.
...You can be both hard and soft with me.

Forgive yourself
Perfect was never a word suited for you
Love yourself
Everything comes back to this
Love your sister
She has been picked apart, degraded, and has an internal war eating her from the inside out
Love your brother
He has a time stamp of deliverance to a life of incarceration, bullets released from an absence of sense, lack of educated, blind ambitious followers.
Raise your head
You are a Goddess created
with disarming beauty in mind.
Continue to place one foot in front of the other
You are meant and strongly designed for forward movement.
Take no steps back, do not bow down your head, do not close your mouth
In fear that judgment will fall
It will, but you must speak anyways.
Your voice is imperative
to the growth of lost girls who are unsure what real women are made of.
Your voice is imperative to the peaking of the minds of men unsure what to look for in a Queen, show him.
Your voice is imperative to the readjustment of the image of
Black Women with large voices
Black Women with high diction
Black Women with love language
Black Women with literary genius
Black Women filled with nothing less than the peace & love God has manifested within us.
Black Women
Black Women
Black Women
Who love Black men like double chocolate moist bliss
Who love White men like dark roast coffee filled with cream
Who love Latino men like Butterscotch candy dipped in chocolate
The list goes on
Black Women who love like we are bound to implode if we don't give the universe what it is that we need back.
Black Women
Your Mother
Black Women
Your Sister
Black Women
Your Friend
Black Women
Your Lover
Black Woman
Love Her.

I am just a boat in your harbor
and I wish you hadn't made it...
not ok to think about you
not ok to love you
not ok to miss you.

its a struggle to not want
to not want to be by the ocean
to not want to move by what's warm
out of fear drowning
out of fear of fire.

i take time everyday to list 3 things I've fallen in love with
and it can never again include you
you and i will never exist in the same context
there is no blue ocean floor for us
there is no thinking too far ahead for you and i
you have left nothing but drowning here
leaving me to learn to swim alone
again .

Try and swim
Focus on not drowning

Catch and release this breath
Take in your hands
Try not to bite too ******* that bottom lip
Hold on to your hands
Grip something to match your grip on me
Your rhythm in these legs
Your body in these legs
Your face between these legs

Try and swim
Focus on not drowning

Inside but everywhere
You are inside but everywhere
I can only be here
Keep up here
Slow down here
Lie down here

Try and swim
Focus on not drowning

You are touching me
You keep coming up to look at me
You keep coming back to watch yourself indulge in me

Try and swim
Focus on not drowning

I can’t stop this crash
I don’t want to stop this crash
I’m trying to hold on
But you keep pushing through for me to let go
And we let go
High at the same time ...
I can swim now
I’ve let go and I’m not drowning....

...What does love look like today?

Love today looks like brown butter bourbon ice cream and sunlight
Like body oil on soft legs
And smoothie cream in even softer hair
Like breathing and disappearing in sheets
Like breast free of cups that don't hold me like the universe does
Like lips that taste of caramel
And a bedroom that heals in lavender
Like woman done waiting
Like woman simply being
Like body untouched, un-tethered.

We are meant to be Kings and Queens
Gods and Goddesses in Gods image
Women like you sadden me
How easily you shrink into him
How easily you strip yourself
Just to mirror his beautiful
Does it not hurt?
Does it not hurt?
Giving him the pieces of you that were simply meant to show…
Check the mirror without him and what do you see?
Have you seen the color of the corners of your mouth when they come together for you?
Have you seen the sun reflected off your skin
And appreciated walking this earth?
Do you see yourself reflected in his eyes?
Or is It simply a reflection of his reflection that he mirrors in you?
Why are you deliberately forgetting your beautiful
Who hurt you so bad that you stopped loving you?
Why have you stopped appreciating the collage of browns, nudes, and red in your skin?
Our many shades of BLACK are OUR BEAUTIFUL.
…Why are you ignoring them?
What happened to Maya Angelou’s “Phenomenal Woman”?
Did you forget that we were born with Fire in our eyes?
Meant to have stride in our steps?
That there is nothing wrong with being love and deliberately beautiful.
Stop settling for the man who tolerates you
Stop sticking with the luke warm souls
Open yourself to the man that deems life with you as a pure testament to God
And finds infinite amazing in your beautiful.

I wanted it to be you so bad that I kept confusing your being with love and repressing your eyes looking past me when I smiled. Its time I apologize... to me.

-Indigo Morrison

I am your safe word
Say it however silent you need to
I am your calm when unsteady hands shake
We are too torn for the light we are trying to ignite in each other
I fancy your beautiful
I will soothe the trembles in your mind even when she is standing next to you
She can't see you
Stop trying to show her the broken bits that I have crafted for my silver lining
I see your scars
And I am trying to embody to you what it is they mean to me
I love you
It came, it came out
Like waterfalls, like rainstorms, like hearts leaking not yet ready for touch
You're fragile
And I love you
I am not sorry
I will never be sorry
I love you
I am where you are free, this here is your truth
And you are trying to run away from me
I am not scared of your light
You are made, crafted, pieced together from remnants of the sun
I did not mean to fly so close to you
I am not trying to end as Icarus does
I am not willing to let us ruin me.

"i think I lost my halo
trying to make sure you were breathing
trying to attach you to the sun
i know i lost some of my energy
my vibe aint high like before
but i was trying to bring you with me
i was trying to build a silver lining
out of the breaks within your heart
but you wouldn't forget the pain
you wouldn't let go of her
and she does not love you
and holding on doesn't make it real baby
i. am. real. baby.

you saw me bending for you
and you couldn't even hold me
you shattered my heart
and you took so much light with you when you did

i was a vacation to you
something you could indulge in
something you allow yourself out of curiosity but never stay long enough to work for
but i am no Vegas
               no Miami
               no Jamaica
               no Puerto Rico
I am the ******* moon
someplace
someone
you always come back to
I am not the train baby
I am the station
and I'm not only darkness;
a place to hide
I am light
something you open for
and give back to

so next time you find
you can't take your eyes off the sun
give in because you are ready
because you are whole
and you have something to give back
to this universe
not because you are scared
and you need  
                        all this gold
                        all this honey
                                                 to fill you.

"I'm trying so hard not to feel so empty, but everything keeps falling through... "

-Indigo Morrison

Even leaves fall for you …
The sun comes out for you
The flowers bow out to you
And the wind cannot tear its breeze from your hair
The rain can’t help but dance around you
And the fields…
Oh they move high in low for you
Traveling from valleys to hills for you
The ocean shames the river and the sea with its expanse for you
And the stars light hearts for you
Storms build character for you
Hurricanes lose sanity for you
Mountains diverge for you
Caves open up to you
As the earth becomes a shelter for you
Because that’s how beautiful you shine
That is how great your light is…
If my love is not enough to guide your eyes to such truth
Let nature be a mirror for you…

By: Indigo Morrison

I keep feeling homesick
I don’t get to see the ocean at night anymore
There is no longer warmth there
I want to see the people smiling again
I want red bottles
And listerine
I want cologne and listerine
A beautiful full moon in your smile carried itself there
My heart almost left me to go back there
I almost left me to go back there...

I am clawing at happiness,
Hoping that it finds me a suitable vessel.
Because, these days are blurring together and
I am seeing endings where there should be ******.
I am filled with leaving
And too scared to scream to the people  I love,
that staying frightens me...
I am finding nothing here
And I am neither good at sitting or good with standing,
And I no longer know in what direction to move one step forward...
I am living in scarcity of myself,
Putting together the scraps of myself
that I no longer want,
But it is all I have.
And my God am I trying to hold on.
I am trying to see the sun
without wishing for the moon.
Wishing for the moon
and waiting for morning.
There is no ground I want to stand on...
There's no hands that leads to arms for me.
You are not here
And you are not willing to lend your heart
while mine is out seeking restoration.
I've always been the woman saving herself
But, how many times do I have to break
in order to be filled?


-Indigo Morrison

I dream... fantasize daily,
About the way water feels rushing against my skin,
How silence feels in this crowded room,
How the wind feels struggling to untangle this hair,
How my hands must feel when they are floating.
I’d like to take in the world alone,
But, I am a child with
Not feet strong enough to withstand,
What cement blocks comfort can become of you,
What no hope can drain from you,
What anxieties existing has created of my being.
I feel cornered in my waking,
Lost in my movements.
And I can’t even begin to forgive myself
For the way I keep breaking my own heart
By being here,
And not having the decency to let down my fears...
And simply, leave.

-Indigo Morrison

I want to tell you that the shore comes back for the sea like I will always come back for you
That the moon comes after the sun to ensure just enough beauty that your eyes can tolerate it
You are beauty rapped in man.
And my mind can’t stay off you.
And I want to tell you so many things
So many things so that you see you are loved
I would give you all of me if you would take me but you haven’t
It as if I am a path less taken and far too overlooked .
But, I’d forget all that if only you’d look at me.
Why won’t you look at me
I want you to look at me like you do the stars at night
And I want you to see what I’m trying to show you
I want you feel what I’m trying to give you
I want to give you my love and pour it over your wounds so that you feel what it is I see with you
I want your eyes to see what heart feels
What I’m too scared to voice
But I’d do it if I were close to losing you
And I feel as though you are trying to be a noble man and love the earth by withdrawing you
But please don’t leave.
Stop right here and look at me
I have taken your scars for you
I have given you some medicine to fix the indents careless people have made
And I’m standing here naked for you
Giving you all of me.

The man whose hands can't lie still,
Too busy building
Molding
Growing
Creating
Strong
yet gentle..
I watch those hands
careful not to let them touch me.
The way you grow things
If you were to touch me
I'd lose it...
I'd lose it every time...
Wearing heart on sleeve
Leaving door open for you...
No welcome mat at my door
You need no sign. you know I am here.
My own hands are moving
Hips becoming bold
Legs caving beneath me
Hands wanting yours to hold them.
I have always been tempted by the hardness of man
yet how gentle his touch could be with something he is trying to keep living

My mother and her mother lived lonely.
2. I want to be held without being held captive.
3. I keep trying to find reasons to lay next to you.
4.  I can’t bear feeling lonely when I am not alone.
5. I can’t make me love you.
6. Even the man I long for knows I am leaving.
7. I am scared you will understand me and I will no longer belong to myself.
8. My brother, is his father… their feet carry them the same.
9. I am scared that you will find my love inadequate
10. You will become wanderlust and realize I have nothing resembling a map inside me.
11. A part of me is simply yearning to take you in my mouth… these hands.
12. I am a woman who is vocal in my wanting.
13. You will not **** me voiceless.
14. I sometimes confuse your silence with leaving.
15. I don’t want our love to be synonymous with chains.
16.  I need you to love me gently.
17. I have come too far.
18. Leave me wild here.
19. I want you honest. I want you kind.
20. I am both goddess and human.
21. I think if I run fast enough I won’t feel you leaving.
22. My skin is wet with regrets for all the times I stayed silent. The times I tamed my hunger.
23.  I can’t remember the first cut that trained me to ache for those who don’t seek me.
24. I tell myself I don’t want the things that I am scared to lose.
25. I have not been alive when next to another person in years.

I will always love books, words, literature, the putting pen to paper people.
2. Nature feeds me and comforts me like amber romance does on nights I feel too high.
3. I fall in love all the time; love is free flowing for me and I will never apologize for that.
4. I am at peace with my music and words. I am most at peace alone.
5. People scare me; I am too unsure what these busy hearts are composed of.
6. I am sorry, you will never be the only one. For I cannot commit to hands as unsteady as yours and eyes that find no value in the sea.
7. I am sad, disheartened that I miss the sun creating morning because I am too busy surviving. It hurts me.
8. I like your lips and what your smile creates of them.
9. I forget to need or garner the desire for the wordly material things that do not move me.
10. I like sweet things and hard truths and people who understand that we are walking contradictions and nothing should be feared from that.
11. I am not gentle, I come in waves and leave it to you to be receptive of my truths.
12. I am real here and ready for a 2 am conversation while the sun still beats.

I hope you learn to love a woman in her naked, in her ****, in her sad. On top of you or standing next to you. I hope you dream of holding her hand, kissing the curve in her neck. I hope you learn to love and hold love close. I hope she makes you find the moment. I hope she gathers you there and holds you. I hope her lips make you forget and remember. I hope you love you so you can build with her. I hope she kisses you when she wants to. I hope you want her to show you.

how to write a poem:
1. think about something until it hurts
2. bury it in paper
I think that is what scares me…
That I will wake up one day,  happy that he has to leave
Or wishing that you would exit my mornings.
I am scared that the idea tempts me more than you ever will.
All I see when I look forward, is me waking to the sun
Nesting in my solitude.
I gravitate towards freedom
Something I am not sure love will allow of me.
And I’d like to not be selfish with your time
Which is why I keep you from me,
But some days temptation engages me in indulgence,
And I play around with the idea that, I could stay here
And stand in this
But, when the leaves settle and my heart stops trembling
I grow restless
I grow weak with leaving
…. And I think gold of you,
Which is why I keep me from you.
You asked why I can’t fall in this …with you,
And I’m warning you,
It’s because I’ll leave.
I have to.
And I always will.

I am a Hurricane Girl
I come in waves
Passion or depression
Kissing you or disappearing from everything
I am obsessive with my passions
Anxious when sitting still
I move
Move forward
Move away
Never looking back
I might forget to take you with me
So stay
Stay with me here
Take in all I have to give
And remember the good
When I create storms
Give me peace in chaos
I love the rain
The seas it creates
The ruins that become of it
I am sorry
Broken shouldn't be beautiful
But, I wish you'd make an exception for me.

I am a hurricane girl
I come in waves
Passion or depression
Kissing you or disappearing from everything
I am obsessive with my passions
Anxious when sitting still
I move
Move forward
Move away
Never looking back
I might forget to take you with me
So stay
Stay with me here
Take in all I have to give
And remember the good
When I create storms
Give me peace in chaos
I love the rain
The seas it creates
The ruins that become of it
I am sorry
Broken shouldn't be beautiful
But I wish you'd make an exception for me.

You have taken the lovely bits of me and compiled them into this beautiful being. You have forgotten the ***** bits, or detached them from your perception of me... and that isn't fair. With this, you are saying that the whole of me cannot be loved ...Please take me down from your pedestal.
Please let me breathe on level ground.
I am still quite busy ascending from ashes into something that could put out the marvel, the adoration you have for the sun.


-Indigo Morrison

...trying to take this heart,
this healing,
all this fragile,
day by day
task by task.
a new getting out of bed.

some days I am still healing,
others...
the wound has just
opened back up for me
and I’m stitching,
I’m breathing,
I’m moving always,
but standing still.
...one does not negate the other for me.
but I am here
and I love you.

I can't be your half love...
I can't let you take the good parts and save the rest for later,
because I aim to love you whole,
whole heart,
whole soul,
even if you are the sum of your sins,
I will treasure the silver lining it has made of you.

Please put down your weapon,
I am knees to earth,
my being is open and sharing my light with you.
Wake up in the morning next to me,
get up to take walks with me at 5am.

I want you...
Not just this flesh that you blessed this earth with
but that soul you have built from shattered glass, tattered love, lonely hearts creating lonlier hearts...
You have assembled a masterpiece.
The universe is in awe of you.


-Indigo Morrison