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out the room door
you look out
down the deepening
notches of a hallway
there’s nothing there
there isn’t anyone there
they’ve succumbed to silence
perhaps the heaviness
would cause them
to sink to quick
you already have
so they rise out from
the earth in avoidance
though you look around
faces remain blank
there are no telling
features of
a person there
so in involuntary
solitude
self imposed
concealment
locks those burning
shadows
away
In
nightmares
do you know of
their greatness
you feign
for control
they’ve
covered you whole
though eyes
bare witness
throat sealed off
there is no air
in attempts
to murmur
for help
whatever
was left in your
heart is being
taken
the chest
very
heavy
squeezes
life energy
from there
coping
with idea
that you’ve
been
taken
is elusive
so you resign
upon awakening
whenever hell
loosens it’s grasps
you find
there is
no one
only failed
attempts to reach
for help,
only pain—
stricken
words
flowing around
the room
resounding
though no
sign
of it landing
a reciprocal
response
is replaced
with
looks of
uncertainty
implying

‘There are those
who are trained to help
the likes of you’
the life of avoidance, I cannot bare, Though I cannot bare acceptance of what haunts me, possibly haunts you. There never really isn’t anyone there, only that of a surface that couldn’t bother to fall under, not for moment, not at all. though I see and accept you for what you could offer, it falls short to my needs of survival, those whom you pay to listen, couldn’t be any different.
you know what I know
I know what you know
we feel together
yet we’re so far apart
we’re diseased
from the start
a strain frequenting
those near and afar
I look to you
those eyes
those lonesome
eyes
to hold
another
is warmth
to be exchanged
because
it’s supply
from within
ourselves
cannot be
accessed
—cultivation process
is forever lost—
so we look to others
inadvertently
like us
those that
know the coaxing
of barrenness
to only move further
into its shapes and forms
deeper than,
what fleeting emotion
could no longer offer
though is there a willingness
to being led?
indiscriminately luring
though something inside
dies everyday
for something that remains
ever absent
whole,
sustaining,
radiation
undulating
from
another’s soul
we know what we know
though
This strain continues
to grow

—extending this endless railroad of silent nowhere’s
so many I’ve passed over though we bled similar, though youth filtered my sight, I was familiar with tinge of high smoke that signaled your distress, I was there but not for what I could see there, it’s always too late when the realization comes through all I can ever do is see you for what these memories are and so we no longer no one another I’ve learned this lesson constantly that others crave for what you yearn for, though I can’t treat something I’m also sick with, nor have I the cure to relieve them of there’s, all one can do is watch another degrade to nothingness, we all have shipwrecked with no lessons of how to swim, so we drown together in the same misery, panicked clinging to fluid that leaves you sinking in.


—what other way is there put some something so delicate in such a bruising way
There are good people in this world who pretend to be bad,
but there are far more bad people in this world who pretend to be good.

Some people don’t pretend at all.
You can never know anyone.
what does it feel like to be held
not by another body
not by a set of limbs, a chest, a chin
but
by another soul

what does it feel like
to see truth in another pair of eyes
instead of hidden intentions
instead of absence

what does it feel like
to hear a familiar heartbeat
resounding next to your own
reaching through skin
through bone
two rhythms
indistinguishable

what does it feel like
to write poems about
a love that exists
is it so wrong to observe from the peripheral than to be part of something considered whole?
although it pains me, my niche doesn’t lie near the centers of things not even for a moments passing, I keep on wondering
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