what is courage?
I know how it feels:
like my spine is made of steel
is it a tool of the mind
or fire that comes down from the sky?
or that determined voice inside:
"I will not let the fear decide"
maybe I will never know
but I feel courage in my soul

a river flows
where no one goes

this is a place
where no one stays

one day I will lose everything

one day
or day by day by day

and time will be
the end of me

and I will be
a memory

and all who still
remember me

the river will
wash them away

I am lost in it
the storm fills my whole world
and I forget the Sun

a beautiful rainbow fills my sky
I am shining in its light

closing my eyes against the rain

I'm not hungry
but I need to eat
I'm not tired
but I need to sleep

to what extent do I control
the actions of this animal?

if this is all a part of me
some solipsistic fever dream
why do I choose to manifest
this soul destroying loneliness

reality does not reflect
my deep desire to connect
so I have reached the conclusion
I must not be the only one

could I see
all the beauty within me
with my eyes open?

I want to love and be loved too
that's more than I can ask of you

I want you to care about me
and make me your priority

maybe I can't find the words
maybe it's more than I deserve

but all the silence in the world
won't hide my eyes
that tell the truth