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Jay May 25

                                        stay alive
                                   stay alive stay a
                                live stay alive stay a
                                 live stay alive stay
                                    alive stay alive
                                        stay alive

                                        stay alive
                                   stay alive stay a
                                live stay alive stay a
                                  live stay alive stay
                                      alive stay alive
                                              stay alive
                                                stay ali
                                                ve sta
                                               y al
            ­                                 |-/
A semicolon is a piece of punctuation used when an author chooses to continue the sentence even though they could end it with a full stop easily. Therefore, the semicolon is used as a symbol of suicide awareness- the choice to keep writing your life's sentence until it comes to a conclusion. I believe in you no matter what difficulties you're facing. Keep writing your story. It will be worth it; I promise.
Jay Apr 12
The day after dying,
Your mortal shell will rot
And be filled with sleeping pills
No, sugar can not
Hide the pain you feel
From failing your many deaths,
Immortal now and always,
A hundred final breaths.

The day after dying,
You're nothing but a husk,
An empty, rotting hell
That lies awake until dusk,
Just contemplating painful existence
That wounds every inch of you.
Words, knives, and other pains
Don't feel enough in joy's lieu.

The day after dying,
Nothing will even change.
You'll still be a hopeless wreck.
You'll still be from peers estranged.
You'll still be a walking corpse.
You'll still never be alive.
You'll always wish you'd succeeded.
You'll feel useless just like I've.
Try to live once,
for the sake of now,
you have your today
try to live it now.
Count your tears,
the ones from yesterday,
the ones that dried up,
the ones that froze away.

Do you feel your heart beating?
or do you feel it slowly fade,
an unusual absence of warmth,
fearing it might become a nameless mail.

Chloroforming your joys,
disappearing in noise.
Writing to a feeling,
lost with a pen unpoised.

Corner lights fluorescent yellow,
the poisonous sweet smell of love so mellow.
Quit being slave to a nameless voice,
let your today,
be a regretless choice.

Learn to live,
enjoy it in endless ways.
Life is beautiful,
try to live your dreams every day.
Life is difficult, not impossible.
And don’t you dare say
you cared about the girl–
she sat alone and you misunderstood.
She was not odd,
nor did she enjoy the vacant company.
She was just like you and me,
but that was what nobody could see.
They never tried to approach her,
only picked fun behind her back.
They ignored her to her face.
She was so lonely.

Don’t you dare say
you tried for the girl–
the one who wrote her final goodbye
and left it by her bedside
right before she ended her life.
Don’t say she was your friend,
because who was there when it came to end,
and, around her,
the walls were closing in?

It wasn’t you,
so don’t pretend
you loved the girl–
you ignored her with the rest
and judged as you laughed at her existence.

She was alone;
so, so lonely.
Don’t pretend you tried to see.
Because if only one person tried for her,
she might not have felt she needed
to leave.

You weren’t there.
You were just another person
to leave her in the background.
Don’t pretend to miss the girl–
you only think of her now because
you left her in the dust,
and she buried herself in it.
Don’t pretend to miss her
when you see the empty seat
where she sat alone,
so lonely.
Jay Dec 2020
-Hate yourself to the point of misery

-Slash your skin into oblivion

-Make your flesh a canopy of the hatred you feel

-Still feel numb after all of the pain

-Get yourself a rope

-Hang the rope on a sturdy branch

-Tie the knot properly
         - make a loop
         - spiral the rope around the loop
         - tuck the rope through the loop
         - pull on the end to tighten

-Pull a stool under your necklace

-Stand on the stood and wear your craft

-Kick the stool away

-"Look, Mum! No hands!"

-Think of your mum.... and others you love...

-Gasp for air but find none

-Shed a tear, cry out in agony

-Feel your neck being stretched out

-Remember the lovely touches from your loved ones... Remember how your brother used to nuzzle up by your chest and whisper against your neck

-Remember the times your friends used to hug you around the neck

-Remember the way Their lips felt against your supple skin

-Cry out harshly one final time


                                       Nothing is left anymore...

-You did it!

The pain you face doesn't go away when you do. It's simply transferred onto others. The ones who cry at your funeral, the ones who will miss your voice, the ones who notice an empty place where you used to sit, the ones who shed a tear at the mention of your name, and even the ones who seemed to hate you will still love you the same. They'll be devastated. If you ever need to talk with somebody, I've been here before. I've been to the lowest of lows, and I've attempted before. You can always talk with me. My instagram DMs are open all the time. @darlingdrawingqueen

Don't be afraid to reach out. Your life is important, and you are loved by so many people. If not until now, then I love you. I love you so much, and I really want to get to know you.
If you're ever feeling this way, please reach out to somebody. If nobody else, you can ALWAYS message me. I love you dearly, and life will get easier, darling. I promise.
Lee Dec 2020
For two years ive been attached
to you , flinging to every breath.
Thanking you every second I got for “saving” me  

When in all honesty i saved myself.
Reminder you only need yourself :)
Sean Martin Nov 2020
We had an enemy we didn't understand
We had an ally we couldn't rely on
All we had was each other
All we had was our brotherhood
All we had was our rigorous training
We were baptised in fire and violence
We were sunk in cruel unrelenting combat
We struck back like Hammer and Anvil
We kept hope in a nightmare paid with blood, sweat and tears
Some of us left without a beating heart
Some of us made it but forgot how to live
Some of us turned our scars to success
However those left of us that have managed to survive...
We all feel as if we're standing in the centre of a Burning House
Trigger warning
Jenna Oct 2020
I feel her presence,
I can hear her laughter.
It feels like forever;
It's only 2 years after.

We thought we'd live forever,
But all good things have to end.
She was caring, kind, and clever,
Lord, why did she have to ascend?
Have a good day everyone💕
Amber K Sep 2020
I'm thinking about you again today.
I think about you every day to be honest.
I just got through reading a long post your mom made to you.
It breaks my heart that you'll never get to read it.
You'll never get to see how much you were truly loved.
I go to your facebook page every other day as well.
I don't even use facebook anymore,
but I guess there's a part of me that still hopes it's all a dream,
and that one day I'll go on your page,
and it will no be a memorial page.
The pictures that read "Rest In Peace" will be gone.
Your last message to us wouldn't be there.
Instead you'd have posted something funny,
or replied to one of your friends dumb posts.
I still hope that you'll message me back,
and I'll come home to my husband laughing at something you said.
But I know it won't happen.
Deep down inside,
I know you're gone.
But it's just not fair.
It's not right.
You should be here with us.
You should still be laughing,
and smiling,
and breathing.
Your mom shouldn't have to miss her first born.
Your dad shouldn't have to drive your truck to feel close to you.
Your siblings shouldn't have to know life without their big brother.
I just don't get it.
I know you were hurting...
but it's like your hurting never went away.
Like a nasty parasite,
your pain latched onto everyone who loved you,
the minute your soul left this earth.
None of us will ever be the same again.
June the first was when you turned our world upside down.
We've been feeling the shockwave ever since,
and I don't think that feeling will ever leave us.
We miss you Ivan.
I just wish you could see how much we miss you...
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