Jesus cured a blind man who had been blind since the day of his birth.
Jesus put clay on his eyes that he made when he spat and mixed the spittle with earth.
Jesus told him to go wash in the pool of Siloam after he put the clay on his eyes.
When he did this, he could see and people were in for a very big surprise.
When they saw that he could see, some thought that it wasn't the same man.
When they saw that he now had sight, it was hard for them to understand.
But all that they needed to understand was that it was a miracle that Jesus performed.
Because of Jesus and his father, a man could see who had been blind since he was born.

I have a puppy who loves to run and jump.
I have a Chihuahua that is named Trump.
He was born on the 14th of January and he's special indeed.
I now have two Applehead Chihuahuas, that is their breed.
Trump is some feisty and he's as cute as he can be.
He is my new pet and he means a great deal to me.
It's nice to have two dogs that are purebred.
I love both of my Chihuahuas who are Appleheads.

Thank you, Jehovah for giving me such a wonderful mother.
Out of all of the women you could've given me for a mom, I'm glad that you didn't choose any other.
You gave me such a terrific mother, she was so special and unique.
You gave me a mom who was beautiful, kind, thoughtful and meek.
Thank you, Jehovah, the kindness and love that you've given is something I probably can't repay.
But I do love you more than life itself and that is something that I'll always be proud to say.

If you're wondering how long it took for a man to die after crashing a car, five days was how long it took.
The car crash killed him and his ex-wife who was named Stacy Brooks.
He was driving over a hundred miles per hour at midnight, that was really fast.
Stacy died instantly but her ex-husband died about 120 hours after the crash.
Stacy has been dead for the same amount of time that she lived, twenty-five years.
She was a very special lady and her death brought about misery, suffering and tears.
Stacy wasn't stuck up like some other girls who I went to school with, she would talk to me.
It wasn't fair when she died so young, my friend has been dead for a quarter of a century.
Her life ended in 1997 on the seventh of September.
She was a unique person who I will always remember.

I voted for him when he ran for President of the United States.
Sadly, he died on December the 5th at the age of ninety-eight.
Bob Dole fought and nearly died during the second World War.
If it hadn't been for men like him, we wouldn't have freedom anymore.
When it came time for him to fight for the United States, Dole willingly fought.
But when it was time for Bill Clinton to serve his country in Vietnam, he did not.
Bon Dole fought for his country and was even paralyzed.
When Clinton beat him in the 1996 election, I was surprised.
Dole was a Senator and in 1976, he was Gerald Ford's running mate.
He was a great man and he left this world at the age of ninety-eight.

A man broke into my house and killed my entire family.
Because of his corrupt lawyer, he was found not guilty.
He killed another family and was found not guilty a second time.
His lawyer convinced the juries to find him innocent of the crimes.
I was going to have vengeance by killing him and I was really going to do it.
But God was just as angry as I was and he beat me to it.
The killer got third degree burns all over his body when he was engulfed by flames.
God made him pay because he was an abomination who brought nothing but shame.
I went through hell when he was found not guilty, it was too much to sustain.
He survived for four days after being burned and he was in excruciating pain.
I was working on night shift and that's why I wasn't able to protect my family.
God's vengeance was worse than my own, that's why the killer died in agony.

Jonah fled from God because he didn't want to warn the Ninevites.
But he finally came to his senses, Jonah soon saw the light.
Jonah went aboard a ship and Jehovah God caused a terrible storm.
When God gave Jonah the mission to carry out, he refused to conform.
The ship was in terrible danger because Jonah had angered The Lord.
Jonah told the people to save themselves by tossing him overboard.
At first they wouldn't toss him overboard, they flat out refused.
But they finally did it so their lives wouldn't be something they'd lose.
But Jonah didn't drown, God showed compassion by making a whale swallow him.
Jonah survived after being swallowed when normally he would've met a fate that was grim.
When God protected him from death, Jonah saw the error of his ways.
When I think about the power of God, I'm in awe and I'm truly amazed.

After we die, the world will forget about me and you.
But God will never forget about us and that is true.
God will remember us after we die even if the world lasts a million more years.
God will feel pity for our loved ones who mourn our deaths and shed their tears.
God knew about all of us even before we were in our mothers wombs.
And he will eventually raise the dead, we will walk out of our tombs.
God will remember everybody and he'll prove it when we're resurrected.
When this happens, life will be glorious because God will see to it that everything is perfected.

When it comes to forgiveness, you won't forgive, you won't budge.
You truly hate my guts and you sure do know how to hold a grudge.
I did you wrong but you did me wrong too.
But forgiving me is something you won't do.
I'll admit that I made mistakes but when it comes to admitting yours, you won't.
I wanted to make up with you but after seeing how much you hate me, I don't.
If there's ever a grudge holding contest, I know that you'll win first place.
You hate me and because of that, I hope we never meet again face to face.
I wish that you didn't hate me but sadly, it's true.
You want nothing to do with me and because you hate me, I want nothing else to do with you.

He died one year ago today and was laid to rest.
He was a good friend and his name was Earnest.
Earnest was one of three men that I knew who died last year.
He repaired and sold computers but cancer ended his career.
He would still be fixing and selling computers if he was alive.
Earnest tried to beat cancer but sadly, he could not survive.
His friends and family are sad because he no longer exists.
He was a great man and a friend who has been missed.
Everybody who knew him was truly blessed.
He was my friend and his name was Earnest.

One terrible night you decided to drink and drive.
You hit my sister head on and she didn't survive.
That liberal judge only gave you a slap on the wrist.
But now I'm going to **** you because I'm ******.
You are a monster, you didn't feel any remorse at all.
I just fired my shotgun and your brains are on the wall.
Now it's my turn not to be remorseful, in fact I feel pretty good.
I would gladly **** you again if I could.
Because of people like you, hundreds of thousands of people are dead.
And because of people like you, many more won't have a future ahead.

Cowardly terrorists caused many people a great deal of sorrow.
On September 11, 2001, 2,996 people would have no tomorrow.
Many people died because a few planes were hijacked.
Almost 3,000 people died and they won't be coming back.
At those innocent people's funerals, many people showed respect by sending flowers.
All because those terrorists caused those planes to crash into the World Trade Towers.
Twenty years ago today, many had good reason to be afraid.
Time sure does fly, it doesn't seem like it has been two decades.
Mom donated $100 to the families of the people who passed away.
She was truly sorry that those people perished on that terrible day.
That tragedy is something that people can't forget, it's something we will always remember.
Because of cowardly terrorists, many innocent people died on the eleventh of September.

I'll do anything you want, I'll obey your every command.
I'll cross countries if you wish, I will go to any land.
I want to be your humble servant, that is true.
I love you deeply and I'll do anything for you.
You are the almighty Jehovah, you and your son are Kings.
When a person serves you, happiness is what it brings.
When it comes to serving somebody, you're the one who I've selected.
I will praise your name now and in the future when I'm resurrected.

You were an awesome actor but I regret to say that you died twenty years ago.
First, you were Doctor Who and later you were Worzel Gummidge the Scarecrow.
You died of a heart attack in your sleep.
When people found out, they began to weep.

You died two decades ago on this very day.
You were British but you died in the USA.
Your contribution made quite an impact.
Many people loved you and that is a fact.

When you died in 1996, you were cremated.
Because of your death, millions were devastated.
I watched every episode of Worzel Gummidge even though it was a children's show.
You brought magic to every role you played, especially as The Doctor and that loveable Scarecrow.

I got tired of being called a hillbilly from the sticks.
So I built a time machine and traveled back to 1776.
I intended to see the signing of the Declaration of Independence.
This was a fantastic historical moment that needed my attendance.
But my time machine landed on Thomas Jefferson before the document was written.
The document wouldn't exist that gave America independence from Great Britain.
I accidentally squashed Thomas Jefferson so it was left up to me.
I wrote the Declaration of independence so the USA could be free.
You may have noticed a few changes that I made.
One of which is that it's mandatory for me to get laid.
I proved that I'm not a hick who is slow.
I wrote the Declaration of Independence nearly two and a half centuries ago.

Batman has died and people are depressed.
The world has to say goodbye to Adam West.
He starred as the Caped Crusader for three years.
Before he went to Heaven, he had a great career.
He became the Dark Knight over fifty years ago.
He made a success of the Batman television show.
He was a reoccurring character on Family Guy.
His fans were both sorry and sad to see him die.
He was very talented but now he's being laid to rest.
Every Batman fan should be grateful to Adam West.

You were always number one, never number two.
I'm your son and I was very fortunate to have you.
You cared more about others than you did for yourself and that is rare.
It took your death to show me how hard life can be and how unfair.
Because you chose to be a homemaker, I was able to spend much more time with you and that made me glad.
Because of you, I admire women who are homemakers and I don't care if that makes Feminists mad.
When people see me, they see a man who is proud to be your son.
You always came first in my life, you were always number one.

I love Jehovah and I'll love him for all of my days.
How much do I love him, let me count the ways.
1. I love him because he cares.
2. I love him because he's fair.
3. I love him because he's noble and just.
4. I love him because he's one who we can trust.
5. I love him because he's always around.
6. I love him because he won't let me down.
7. I love him because he does not lie.
8. I love him because he eases our pain when we cry.
9. I love him because he loves me.
10. I love him because he'll let me live in paradise for eternity.
Those are the ten reasons why the Lord has my love and respect.
When we need somebody to comfort us, he's the one who we should select.

You died in 2023 and your dad died in 1977.
After living for 54 years, you went to Heaven.
You have lost your life and that is very sad.
Now you have been reunited with your dad.
You did charity work just like your father did.
Your dad loved you and you were his only kid.
As your fans grieve, they're sad and depressed.
Your life ended after you went into cardiac arrest.
When CPR was performed, your heart was restarted.
But you still died and your fans are broken-hearted.
You died a few weeks before you would've turned 55.
Your fans are devastated because you didn't survive.

For many years, you were our family's breadwinner.
Your money paid for our breakfasts, lunches and dinners.
Because of my mental impairment, you continued to support me after I turned eighteen.
You could've outworked two twenty year olds, you were the hardest worker I've ever seen.
After twenty months of chemotherapy, you lost your fight.
Your battle with Leukemia ended six years ago tonight.
For the last two days of your life, you couldn't even reply to what people said.
When I received a call from my sister-in-law, she informed me that you were dead.
Your existence on Earth ended at around 10:20 PM.
One day I'll go to Heaven and I will see you again.

We can have what Satan can't, we can live for eternity.
This is the reward  that is available for you and me.
Eternal life is something that we can enjoy.
But Satan will be defeated and then destroyed.

When Jesus returns, we will all be young again.
I can't say when this will happen, I don't know when.
Imagine still being a young man or woman after trillions of years have passed.
Unlike today, our youth will never end, it will be something that will last.

There will be no racism, no bullies, everybody will be your best friend.
Eternal life is a gift that's available to us but Satan's existence will end.
If we love and worship The Lord, we will live forever even though we're currently flawed.
Satan will be destroyed but we can have eternal youth because people are loved by God.

I've been smoke free two months today.
I haven't smoked and I hope that's how things will stay.
Please don't start smoking, it wasn't a good thing for me to do.
Please say no to nicotine because that is what is best for you.

Christians aren't supposed to get revenge, they're supposed to forgive.
And Christians are supposed to do that for all of the days that they live.
If you do a Christian wrong, he or she isn't supposed to get back at you.
A true Christian will know that getting revenge is the wrong thing to do.
God doesn't want people to get revenge, he wants us to forgive others.
And God wants people to love one another.

I've always said no to drugs but my friend didn't do the same.
When a person dies of an overdose, it's always a **** shame.
John learned the hard way that a man reaps what he sews.
Every time drugs were offered to him, I wish he had said no.
I'm not certain what he overdosed on, it may have been ****.
When my friend of forty years overdosed, he drew his last breath.
I recently read that **** damages the lungs, kidneys, liver, heart and brain.
John might have rejected **** if that was something he could've ascertained.
Years ago, I tried to convince him to get some help but my words always fell on deaf ears.
He was forty-eight but if he had said no to drugs, he could've lived for many more years.

I learned the hard way that real bears aren't like Winnie the Pooh.
I decided to pet one and I soon learned it was a stupid thing to do.
When I tried to pet him, he bit off my hand.
I can no longer drive a taxi so I was canned.

I thought that all bears were like Winnie the Pooh, kind and gentle.
When my wife learned that I lost my hand and job, she went mental.
My wife used to be understanding and sweet, we used to laugh and cuddle.
As she walked out the door, I kicked her in the **** and she landed in a mud puddle.

She didn't want a man with no job and no hand so she decided to leave.
But getting a swift kick in the **** wasn't something she expected to receive.
If you've seen Child's Play, you'll understand that my wife has the temper of Chucky.
Losing my hand and job caused me to lose that witch so I guess that I'm pretty lucky.

Jesus was known as the Great Teacher.
Performing miracles was his best feature.
He taught us how  to enter God's Kingdom and live in paradise.
If we love Jehovah God and live by his rules, that will suffice.

Jesus taught us not to be obsessed by wealth.
He taught us to love our neighbors like ourselves.
Jesus has always obeyed his father because he wants to please him.
Jesus and Jehovah can make us happy even when things are grim.

Jesus taught us the importance of honoring our fathers and mothers.
Jesus served people while he was on Earth and he taught us to also serve others.
Jesus was a remarkable teacher and he's also very wise.
We will live in paradise if we do what's right in God's eyes.

My neighbor is a responsible drinker, he won't drink and drive.
If other people were as smart as him, many people would still be alive.
Joe will not drive a vehicle if he has been drinking.
That is responsible behavior and it's also good thinking.
If you're about to drink and drive, remember Joe because he's an inspiration.
Driving while intoxicated is very dangerous and that is not an exaggeration.

Just one day after we lost Carrie Fisher, her mom died too.
I guess both the shock and pain was too much for her to go through.
Carrie died at the age of  sixty and her mom was eighty-four.
It's a shame that neither of them will be around anymore.
Many people were Debbie Reynolds fans and they thought a lot of her.
This has been a sad week because we lost both Carrie and her mother.

Last month my neighbor lost his wife of thirty-three years.
Her friends and family are grieving and shedding tears.
She was sixty-three years old and Delilah Jane Webb was her name.
As her loved ones mourn, they realize that life will never be the same.
I feel sad and so do many others because she died.
I feel bad for my neighbor because he lost his bride.
When a person dies, it's always something that is hard to face.
It's giving her loved ones comfort because she's in a better place.
When she was diagnosed with cancer, it was certainly scary.
People had to say goodbye when she died on the 20th of February.

This airplane is on fire and it's going down.
Soon everybody on board will no longer be around.
I'm really scared because of the trouble that I'm in.
I'm praying and I'm begging God to forgive my sins.
Very soon I'll no longer be a part of the Human Race.
Very soon I'll be dead and I'll meet God face to face.
I'm really scared and my brow is covered with sweat.
I've done people wrong and that's something I regret.
Everybody else on this plane will die too, I'm not alone.
When we all die, Heaven will become our new home.

He starred in an episode of "18 Wheels Of Justice".
He died ten years ago today and his name was Chris.
He starred in a movie that is titled "Stunts Unlimited".
His fans were sad when they learned that he was dead.

When we lost him at the age of fifty-seven, we lost him too soon.
He starred in "The Dukes Of Hazzard" and "The Dukes" cartoon.
He was temporarily hired when the producers had to replace Luke.
I think that he did an admirable job when he starred as Vance Duke.

He starred in "Official Denial", "Raven" and "East Meets West".
He also starred in two episodes of "Xena: Warrior Princess".
He starred in "Liar Liar" and it's sad to know that he's gone for good.
He and Coy fought the system like a two modern day Robin Hood.

Something bad has happened, we've lost Dawn Wells.
Her friends and family must be going through Hell.
When we lose such a talented person, it's hard to understand.
For a few years she starred on "Gilligan's Island" as Mary Ann.

She died because of Covid-19 complications.
Her demise is sure to cause devastation.
Her family will find it hard to let go but they will have to try.
Dawn Wells has perished and it's sad to have to say goodbye.

Just one month ago, you were walking around.  
But now you're dead and buried in the ground.
So much can change in just the blink of an eye.
You went too soon, forty-eight was too young to die.
Forty years ago in 1979, we became friends.
I wish that your life hadn't come to an end.
On the 3rd day of June, you took your final breath.
You overdosed on drugs and it caused your death.
Because you were a drug user, you didn't survive.
Drugs eventually ****, that's why you're no longer alive.

Thirty years ago, your life was taken away.
You have been deceased for 10,958 days.
You starred in "Bonanza", "Little House On The Prairie" and "Highway To Heaven" as well.
You were very talented and when it came to being a success, you were bound not to fail.
You also guest starred on other TV shows.
You were only 54, that was too young to go.
In 1957, you starred in the pilot episode of "The Restless Gun".
Twenty-seven years later in 1984, you starred in "Sam's Son".
You and Victor French both died of cancer and both of you died at the age of fifty-four.
You and French were buddies and it's sad that neither of you can star in anything anymore.

I make money that is not real.
I love to make counterfeit bills.
I have a contact who steals the paper that the government makes.
My counterfeit money looks like the real thing, I make no mistakes.
I counterfeit fifty dollar bills.
I have talent and I have skill.
I make fifteen million bucks of counterfeit bills every year.
But something has gone wrong, the Secret Service is here.
They just busted down my door and I'm being placed under arrest.
It's a pity that they found me because when it comes to making counterfeit money, I'm the best.
I thought my operation was fool proof, I didn't know that I would fail.
I underestimated the Secret Service and now I am going to rot in jail.

If you hadn't died, today you would've become sixty-seven.
But God called you home and you're with him in Heaven.
Because of your bad infection, you had an aneurysm and couldn't be healed.
As I watched you suffer, it made me cry because it was a terrible ordeal.
I begged God to save you but sadly, his answer was no.
It was your time to leave and that was why you had to go.
When I found you dead in the hospital bed, I began to mourn.
One of the greatest days in the world's history was the day when you were born.
Because of your death, hell has been what I've been through.
Happy Birthday Mom, I always have and always will love you.

This is the fifth Mother's Day that has come around since you passed away.
I really miss being a part of your life on Mother's Day.
Billions of women are celebrating Mother's Day all over the Earth.
You became a mother about fifty years ago when you gave birth.
You gave birth to my brother in 1967 and four years later you gave birth to me.
You brought both of us into the world and you filled both of our hearts with glee.
You were a special mother and many people know this.
Happy Mother's Day Mom, you will always be missed

You're looking at a man who has been blessed.
I have a dog and she's Daddy's little Princess.
My Chihuahua, Agnes is very special to me and I love her a lot.
She means more to me than anything else that I've got.
Agnes also loves me and she loves it when I stroke her dark brown fur.
I became a lucky man on the day when I adopted her.
Having Agnes for a pet is better than being wealthy, that's what I believe.
That's how I feel even though it's something that others may not perceive.

Five minutes after I left, four people were shot in a pharmacy.
If I had been there for an extra five minutes, one of the victims would've been me.
A maniac shot four people over a tray of pain pills.
Two of his victims lived but the other two were killed.
He probably thought he'd get off scott free but he did not.
He wasn't even able to get out of town before being caught.
That punk shot those people five years ago today.
Now he's rotting in prison, he's being made to pay.
The cops arrested him and put him behind bars and that's where he belongs.
He valued pills more than four innocent people, what he did was so wrong.

People don't like me because I make terrible moonshine.
Nobody in their right mind wants this whiskey of mine.
I've received a lot of angry phone calls, and some pretty nasty letters.
People say that when it comes to my shine, horse **** tastes better.
A city slicker actually called my moonshine slop.
He felt he'd been ripped off so he called the cops.
The police arrested him too for buying the moonshine in the first place.
His stupidity got him jail time, you should've seen the look on his face.
My shine is so terrible that the Surgeon General has started putting a warning label on every bottle.
If you drink my 130 proof moonshine, you won't walk straight for days, when you walk, you will waddle.
My shine will knock your head off, it's sure not as mild as a malt.
I've warned you about my shine so if it makes you go blind, it will be your fault.

When I adopted you in 2013, Chihuahua dogs quickly became my favorite breed.
You died seven hundred and thirty days ago and it hurt, it hurt very much indeed.
I named you after a very special woman who was my mother.
When it comes to having a dog that's as terrific as you, there can never be another.
I knew you would eventually die but I didn't know that your death would be so near.
Your death occurred twenty-four months ago today, you've been dead for two years.
You were my dog and the love I felt for you can't be measured.
Pets don't live forever, while they live, they should be treasured.
Every pet owner will eventually have to face the pain that I experienced on that dreadful night.
You were like a daughter to me and the thought of losing a pet sure does cause a lot of fright.
I see dogs being sold for over three grand at a pet store in the mall.
But they aren't as special as you were because you were my baby doll.

What happened is certainly enough to appall.
I'm in the Army and I was forced to go AWOL.
I am disgusted by what happened and it's hard to believe.
Even though my brother was dying, they wouldn't give me leave.
I wanted to see my brother one last time before he died.
I plead with my superiors to give me leave but I was denied.
When it came to my late brother, I thought the world of him.
I went AWOL to be by his side and to tell him that I love him.
Now I'm facing a Court Martial, I'm in trouble indeed.
They turned their backs on me in my hour of need.
Now they're treating me like I committed a horrible crime.
But at least I was able to tell my brother that I love him in time.
A Court Martial and time in prison are what I'll probably receive.
But my superiors were cruel and despicable for not giving me leave.

Even though Jehovah Witnesses don't celebrate Christmas, church is the best place to be on Christmas Day.
There is no better way to celebrate Christ than to be in church to worship and pray.
Being in church is the best way to honor Jesus and his father.
But many people never go to church, they don't even bother.
I'll be in church on Christmas Day, it's the best place for me to be.
It's the best way to honor Christ and I really hope that you agree.

Back in the nineties, a video game was made that was called 'Mario is Missing'.
But the game was changed, the original title was going to be 'Mario is *******'.
In the game, Luigi has to find his brother who is taking a ****.
But they learned that people would've been offended by this.
They changed it because it would've been offensive to watch Mario ***.
They changed it because that was something nobody would want to see.
In addition to seeing Mario ***, people would've seen his tiny *******.
And Luigi would've laughed because Mario's ***** is only half an inch long.
Luigi would've belittled Mario and he would've laughed until he lost bladder control.
People would've also seen Luigi **** because his brother's **** is smaller than a tootsie roll.

When my family and I moved into this house in 1977, Dad was our patriarch.
For four decades I have lived in a subdivision that is called Crosby Park.
Today I've lived in this subdivision for forty years.
I was only five years old when I moved here.
When a person lives at a place for that many years, it fits like a glove.
This is where I'll live for the rest of my life and it's a place that I love.
I'll tell you why my place means more to me than it did just ten years ago.
It's because this place is now mine and there's no place like home.

After Jonah got out of the whale, he went to the city of Nineveh and warned the Ninevites.
He told them that God was going to destroy them because they weren't doing what was right.
God was going to destroy them in forty days because of the evil they had done in the present and the past.
The King heeded the warning and he and everybody else covered themselves with sackcloth and began to fast.
The Ninevites turned from their evil ways after they were warned.
God saw that they had changed and he was no longer scorned.
God spared the Ninevites because they were no longer unfit.
Jehovah isn't a harsh God and that sure did prove it.

She starred in "Doctor Who" and "Blood Money".
She died thirty years ago today at the age of 63.
When she starred in those Doctor Who episodes, she starred with William Hartnell and Tom Baker.
She lost her battle with cancer thirty years ago today and she went to Heaven and met her maker.
She also starred in "Tales Of The Unexpected", "The Comedy Man" and "No Hiding Place".
People were sad thirty years ago because she was no longer a member of the human race.
It's always sad when such a talented person dies.
All of her fans mourned because of her demise.

I dumped SuperGirl because her ***** are hard as rocks.
They are literally harder than concrete cinder blocks.
I should've known they were hard because bullets bounce off of them.
******* that aren't soft should be a crime because it is so grim.
When I broke it off, she made my life a living hell
She burned down my house and ****** in my well.
If you think that was bad, you won't believe the other things that she did.
She lied to Social Services, she said that I abused my son and I lost my kid.
She put an end to my *** life when she used her laser beams to castrate me.
My manhood has been taken and no jail will hold the ***** so she's going free.
My life has fallen to pieces, I would give anything for some Kryptonite.
I would also want Batman's armor suit so I could **** that ***** in a fight.
Don't even think about dating SuperGirl, believe me when I say that it is no fun.
If you date her and break it off, you'd better have a Kryptonite bullet in your gun.

The doctors did everything they could to save you but it wasn't a success.
I knew you were dead when I saw you lying on the hospital bed motionless.
When the nurse examined you, she confirmed that you were gone.
I knew life would never be the same and it would be hard to go on.

You were buried with a stuffed Easter Bunny and a card that I bought for you.
When they lowered you into the ground, saying goodbye was hard to do.
You died on a Wednesday which was your least favorite day.
It has been six years since the date when you passed away.

This year, the anniversary of your death has landed on Wednesday.
You despised that day of the week and your death made my life gray.
When you were in the hospital, you were also visited by your niece.
You were the greatest mother on the planet, may you Rest in Peace.

It pains me to say that my ***** is only half an inch long.
It's extremely embarrassing because I have a tiny *******.
I never use urinals while out in public, I only use stalls.
I can not let other men know that my ***** is so small.

I got so mad at my ex-wife that I wanted to beat her.
She was going to tell my friends and co-workers about my tiny peter.
I said if she exposed me, I'd expose her baldness and that she wears a wig.
My ex-wife had our marriage annulled because my wiener isn't very big.

Women say that ***** size isn't important to them but it's more important than they admit.
A blind date started making fun of my tiny wiener so I started making fun of her tiny ****.
When it comes to being successful with women, I don't have a chance.
If you have a small ****, don't let anybody see it, keep it in your pants.