Let me tell you about a neighbor of mine.
He had been my neighbor since 1979.
He had a loving wife and two children.
He has died but we will see him again.
His death is hard for his friends and family to face.
He's in Heaven now which is a far better place.
It's tragic because his life came to an end.
He was a great neighbor and a friend.
When I learned that he died, it was very sad.
But now he's in Heaven with my mom and dad.
It hasn't been the worst or best year that I've seen.
Tonight at 12 A.M., It will be the end of 2017.
The year 2018 will soon be here.
It will be the beginning of a new year.
I hope people will do better, I hope there will be less sin.
I hope that humanity will improve as the year 2018 begins.
This medication is called Trilafon or Perphenazine.
When I took it, I had the worst nightmare I've ever seen.
Life is something to be cherished.
But in December of 1996, I almost perished.
After my doctor wrote the prescription, I took the Trilafon.
If I hadn't been taken to the emergency room, I'd be gone.
Trilafon helps some people but it makes other people sick.
After taking this medication, I learned that I'm allergic.
I'd like to say it was all just a dream but it was real.
The doctors in the ICU saved me with Benadryl.
I foamed at the mouth and it felt like the Trilafon was burning out my brain.
I hope nobody else experiences this pain.
My doctor ticked me off when he wanted me to continue taking Trilafon with a side effect pill.
There was no way in Hell I'd keep taking it after being so ill.
Now I take a different medication and all is well.
It's much better to take Risperadol or Seroquel.
I was only twenty-five in 1996 and that would've been far too young to go.
If a doctor wants to prescribe you Trilafon, please say no.
Even though you complain because you have thirteen kids to feed,
You don't agree that a vasectomy is what you need.
You won't let a doctor get anywhere near your testicles to give you a snip.
You can't stop breeding like rabbits because you can't keep your pants zipped.
You could use condoms but you won't do that either.
You can't keep your hands off your wife long enough to take a breather.
Now you've learned that your wife is pregnant again.
And what makes it worse is that she's going to have twins.
Jim Nabors always said "Shazam", that was his catchphrase.
Because of his contribution to television, he deserves praise.
It was hard for him to watch the opening credits of Gomer Pyle because many of those Marines died in Vietnam.
We always know that he's on Gomer Pyle or the Andy Griffith Show when we hear him say "Shazam".
We also remember him yelling "Citizen's Arrest".
All of his fans are sad and they're also depressed.
He also starred in some movies, two of which were Cannonball Run 2 and Stroker Ace.
His friends, fans and family have to say goodbye, his death is hard for them to face.
Six Christmases ago, you were still alive.
The Christmas of 2012 was your last Christmas because you didn't survive.
That was the last Christmas that I was able to spend with you and Dad.
You died nearly three months later because the situation was so bad.
In 2012, you said it might be your last Christmas and sadly, you were right.
You shined like a star but that star faded, a star that shined so bright.
I thought you'd see more Christmases but I didn't know what the future had in store.
If I had known that it would be your last Christmas, I would've appreciated it more.
This will be the fifth Christmas that I'll be spending without you.
You always made Christmas better and that is certainly true.
The Christmas of 2012 was the last Christmas when you were still alive.
Merry Christmas Mom, I still carry you in my heart as Christmas of 2017 arrives.
It's Black Friday and I grabbed the last iPad.
When I grabbed it, it sure made people mad.
One man kicked me in the crotch and another got his foot stuck in my ass.
Black Friday turns people into beasts, they sure don't have any class.
A man said if I didn't hand over the iPad, he would kidnap my wife's mother.
I told him to take the old crow, they deserve each other.
Black Friday brings out the worst in people and that's sad.
I'll break my foot off in your ass if you try to grab my iPad.