Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Saint Agnes is what my mother should be called.
When she died, I was both saddened and appalled.
I admire women homemakers more than women who work because Mom was a homemaker.
I was devastated on March the 6th of 2013 because my poor mother needed an undertaker.

Mom wasn't actually a saint but she was as close as a person could get.
You would've been very happy and fortunate if you and Mom had met.
She was a wonderful mother and that's something I'm proud to confess.
She was one in a million and she should be called Saint Agnes.
DEDICATED TO AGNES M. JOHNSON (1948-2013) WHO PASSED AWAY ON MARCH 6, 2013
Randy Johnson Oct 12
When repo men come to my house, I order my Dobermans to attack.
They take chunks out of their butts and those repo men don't come back.
The finance company wants to repossess their stuff and other repo men are sent.
They're not going to get their stuff back, they should be able to take a hint.
They continue to send other repo men again and again.
They're going to have to stop, they're running out of men.
They want to repossess my car and my furniture as well.
But when my dogs attack the repo men, it hurts like hell.
One of my dogs bit a repo man in the ***** and gave him an instant vasectomy.
I saved him the money to have it done by a doctor and he is grateful to me.
Other repo men will be sent and I'll continue to order my dogs to attack.
Those people should learn that they're not going to get their stuff back.
Randy Johnson Oct 11
When you died, it brought about sadness, pain and tears.
You died three months ago today, that's a fourth of a year.
You died ninety-two days ago.
Your death was a devastating blow.

You have been dead for a little over thirteen weeks.
You had brown fur and you were special and unique.
On July the 11th, my heart was broken because you passed away.
You were my baby doll and your daddy will love you for the rest of his days.
Dedicated to Agnes (2011-2020) who passed away on July 11, 2020.
Randy Johnson Sep 23
Gospel Music is fantastic music because it praises God.
When it comes to Gospel Music, it's something to applaud.
Anything is good if it praises the Lord.
When it comes to God, he should be adored.
Gospel Music is incredible music and that's a fact.
It's awesome and that's a statement I won't retract.
Randy Johnson Sep 21
I tied a sausage to my leg and for a short time my ex-girlfriend was fooled.
But she dumped me flat on my *** when she learned her leg was being pulled.
Because she didn't like the deception,
I didn't receive a friendly reception.
She thought that I was well-endowed, that is what she believed.
When she learned the truth, a broken nose was what I received.
She also crammed a lit pack of firecrackers up my *** and it sure did make me jump.
Now it hurts like hell every time I take a dump.
She dumped me even though I decided to get down on my knees and beg.
If you're a man and if you want a girlfriend, don't tie a sausage to your leg.
Randy Johnson Sep 17
It was very sad when your life came to an end.
You weren't just a cat, you were also my friend.
You became my cat after you were born in 2002.
You were good to me and I was good to you.
You were black, white and gray.
I miss you because you passed away.
You made me feel better whenever I got upset.
You were my big buddy and you were a great pet.
You were very pretty and friendly too.
It was a privilege to have owned you.
DEDICATED TO SYLVESTER (2002-2010) WHO DIED TEN YEARS AGO TODAY ON SEPTEMBER 17, 2010.
When you died, I was devastated and didn't know what to do.
If you hadn't died, today you would've turned seventy-two.
The love that I felt for you was special and it knew no bounds.
My heart was broken when you were lowered in the ground.
If you could hear the words I'm saying, I'd want you to hear me say "I love you".
When you died, my days were filled with unhappiness because I was so blue.
I grew inside of your womb until I was born in August of 1971.
You were spectacular and it was a privilege to be your son.
I suffered when you died and it's something I wish others wouldn't have to go through.
Happy birthday Mom, if you hadn't died, today you would've turned seventy-two.
DEDICATED TO AGNES GREENE-JOHNSON (1948-2013) WHO PASSED AWAY ON MARCH 6, 2013.
Next page