you told me that you were
just playing it safe,
careful to keep your perfectly powdered face from grime
and getting dirt under your manicured nails.
you try to maintain that posture with poise and grace,
while others break their backs and crawl
on the ground on their knees and bellies.

you told me 
that you are playing nice.
you said that you are loving, caring, kind, and generous
and all those pretty qualities.
that's true,
but 
one glance at your eyes 
is enough to know fully that 
you are also
fearful and terrified.
you are a coward:
a prisoner of pride
playing god as you place your trust on yourself.
taunted by questions of  rejection, ability, and sufficiency,
you cowered in your high tower
instead of joining the frontlines in the fight.
frozen by fear
your heart has gone too numb and cold, for
the doubt and anxiety has put out your fire.

you said that you have won it all.
but actually, 
you know nothing.
nothing!
about triumph and victory 
for though the world has plunged into calamity,
you were never one with the army.
your bright eyes has seen death
but only from the sidelines.
you defile the purpose of your armor
by keeping it perfectly polished
when it is meant to be stained by mud and blood.

you told me that you were just playing it smart.
you said that it's only rational, logical, 
the normal human response
to take every measure to avoid pain and harm.
you behold the chaos
and cry 
"they are fools!"
and
you are 
perfectly
right.
they made themselves
into proud and shameless fools
for they know well that 
the fools are the ones chosen to shame the wise.

darling, 
just
stop
playing it nice, safe, an smart
for this is not a game,
this is 
war.
strip off the crown and ball gown and
pick up your sword and armor.
from your high tower,
run
to the mountains and fields
to the homes and cities
run
to the trenches and frontlines.
for it's either you lose your self or lose the fight

soldier,
warrior,
get ready to pour out sweat, tears, 
and even blood.
though you have yet to see
still,
claim victory:
the war has already been won
before it has even begun.

*it is
done.

Maybe I'll hear your distinct funny laugh
even across murmurs and mechanical hums
in a subway in Singapore
       Maybe I'll find you  
behind smoke from exotic dishes cooking;
where the aroma of spices is wafting
up into the humid Indian air
       Maybe I'll see your sweet face
reflecting the colorful glows
of fireworks painting the night sky
in a fiesta in Mexico
       Maybe I'll come across you
at a sandy Guatemalan shoreline,
where the crashing waves
could add rhythm
to the poems that we make
       Maybe when I'm stranded
you'll tap on my car window
to help me out of a snowstorm in Canada
that your tropical skin hates
       Maybe we will share
the same park bench in DC
and we could contemplate all day
on our countries' intertwined histories
       Maybe we will
gasp in surprise
squeal in delight
and give each other
a tight handshake
a big high five
or maybe even
a warm embrace
       Maybe we live thousands or even
hundreds of thousands of miles apart
but one way or another
we will see each other again
        **I will make that a certainty

crazy days
we're all kept away
and our memories float then sink
in a heavy haze

through this,
i'm happy to have you:
your truth to keep me awake
and the fellowship
that gives me hope
to strive and stay

****
I can't believe
You've lived eighteen long years
I don't want to believe
You're of legal age
Because just yesterday
You arrived for school 2 hours late for
You slept at 4 am because of anime
Your blue boxers would show even if you wore a belt
You bought 100 Pesos worth of Spanish bread during recess
You dared to punctuate your English report with wrong grammar
You dunked iced tea bottles to the trash can, imitating Jordan
You ran and screamed in the hallways with the 3rd graders
You hanged your sweaty shirt to dry at the lockers
You spammed our physics teacher's laptop with selfies
You bit my shoulder, literally
You drew kitties and robots in your math test
You attempted to sing to dubstep
You took a nap at the carpeted library floor and
You almost ran over me with your car
So even if you're now an adult officially
You're still this messed up kid to me
Happy birthday though
You're finally 18
My wish for you is that you would be careful
'Cause you're old enough to hit the slammers
*I guess age is really just a number

Malalaman mo agad kung ako ay ako galing sa
Aking boses na sa sobrang lakas at tinis,
Rinig hanggang sa kabilang kanto; pero baka
Gulat ang iyong aabutin kung makita ****
E**to, and liit lang ng tangkad ko!

your ears are jammed with
energetic beats and good melodies
though accompanied with
lyrical lies that
distort
our views on what really matters and
define
who we are and how we should be.

and your eyes:
glued to the screen
as you await to see
if your face
is worth enough of those
tiny blue thumbs up.

but
you've absorbed
too much nonsense and radiation
from those handheld contraptions that
you have grown
too deaf and too blind
to see anything beyond yourself

but I say that it is time that you
look up,
open your eyes,
and see
His holy
glory setting upon
our minds waking
our hearts stirring
our passion blazing
our generation rising
our people fighting
our nation triumphing

look up,
open your eyes,
and see that
hope is alive and abundant!
because Hope is with us,
Hope is in us, and
Hope is through us.

all these chaos is translating
into something beautiful and exciting
so come
look up,
open your eyes,
and see.

Hoy Neng,
bilis!
Halika nga dito.

****-abot nga sa akin yung ano,
yung kwan.
Yung ano na medyo pula,
pero may pagkadilaw,
ng kaunti.
Nandoon lang nakapatong sa ano,
malapit lang doon, oo doon.
(Sabay turo,
gamit ng nguso)

Dalian mo!
Bilis!
Ang bagal-bagal mo naman kumilos,
Susmaryosep!

A broken wreck
A blind rebel
So lost
So broken
Chasing rapids
Diving waterfalls
Only to end up in a
Vast murky
Ocean
And sink
                                                                                   Endlessly
To its cold, lonely depths

But He
Breaks the chains
That anchors me to sin
But He
Fishes me out
Of the dark abyss
And I
Rise
Rise beyond the surface
And I
Live
Live for the very first time

He waters down my briny filth---guilt
He wraps me in a thick blanket
With love in every stitch
He hands me a warm mug of cocoa
Overflowing with marshmallows
But He didn't even need to
How could He even want to

And then He welcomes me to His ship
Of formidable majesty and splendor,
Gives me a net,
And names me as a fisher of men
We sail
We fish
Through stormy seas
Vast oceans
Savage pirates
But all is well
All is great, in fact
For His ship is firmly established
A jewel made of iron
And He always knows the Way
Because He is,
He is the Captain of Captains
And I am His fisher of men

Before I entered my new job and got new friends and a new boss
I was a sailor
Man
Sea waters runs through my veins
With kisses, the cool winds have smothered my face
These blue waves used to greet me goodmorning everyday
And ****
My body is so hot
Because under the sun
My skin is just baked

So now
I'm just happy to see
My good old friend again
To unfurl the sails
To hear the floorboards squeak under my feet
To drink the moon glow cascading on us thick like milk

However
One key characteristic of the sea is its unpredictability
Sheer mystery
And in my lifetime as a sailor
It still leaves me
Grappling with her curious cases of conundrums

Somewhere along the middle
When we thought that we will just sail straight
No
We just got spat and slapped in the face
By cruel waves and cold wind
From a squall.
Like a storm but more severe and sudden
Too fast this hits us with no warning

The winds stirred the waters
Infusing it with rage
We're being tossed around, manhandled
By the wall of water towering,
Crashing on the boat and swamping everything
Desperately trying to hold on to something
Because I can't
stand straight
But how do I do so when
I can't even get a hold of myself and think straight

As the waters flood the deck
Questions flood my mind
What
What is happening and
How
How do we get out of it
How do we keep this ship from getting wrecked?
When dawn breaks tomorrow will there still be
A beat and a breath inside our chests or
Will the sun just find us on the shoreline dead?

Over the roar of the storm
I'm asking why
Why now?
Why us?
Why
me?
When I
Have done nothing wrong
to deserve this harsh punishment
This cruel treatment
My hands are clean
I'm innocent
Faithful, in fact
To You Jesus

Jesus
What are you doing?
Why are you sleeping
so soundly
On a cushion at the back of the ship?
How can you ignore this raging storm
The impending wreck which will seal
Our certain deaths?
Don't you care?
Can't you see?
How can you bear to sleep through our agony?
Have you forsaken us
And allowed us wallow in despair and tragedy?
Wake up! Jesus please
Where are you
in this desperate time of need?

Finally he awakens
And to all my questions he responds with one as well
He asks me
Where
Where is your faith?

I fell
Silent
And so does the squall
Mighty you arise and speak with authority
You command the wind and the waves to cease
And they do
They were viciously violent
But now
They've calmed down
Completely
The sea is conquered by
Serenity

Wait
One more question
Who is this man?
Who are you Jesus
That though the tides and torrents come
You can still sleep soundly like a baby
Safely
Resting in security with the fact
That no storm can ever bring you down to defeat
You are
Peace
so powerful
You command all noise to
Still
Ness
You see joy and beauty amidst the mess
When chaos hears your voice
It ceases
So please
Speak on

Maybe
We'll have infinite questions but
Zero or even negative answers
Though the world falls apart
falter we won't
A paradox
Transcending all understanding
This powerful peace
Strong serenity
And that is because
Hope is here
And Hope cares for me
For us
Now i know
That as long as He is with me
the storm is a sanctuary

No, I am not a Christian, rather
I am a child adopted and chosen
I am a friend, He is my buddy
I am a follower, humbly obeying the Leader
I am a disciple, carrying my cross daily
I am an heir of the heavenly kingdom
I am a steward of the gifts that he gave me
I am a servant, loyal and faithful
I am a princess, set apart and of royalty
I am a citizen in but not of this world
I am an ally, no longer an enemy
I am a soldier constantly in battle
I am a conqueror, for He has won the victory
I am a slave, not to sin but to righteousness
I am an ambassador, representing peace
I am a new creation, gone is the old
I am a handiwork, a grand masterpiece
I am a branch yielding much fruit
I am a temple, the Spirit lives in me
I am a light and salt to all the nations
I am His possession, bought with a price too heavy

Munch on some
       salty chips, chewy cookies, sandwiches of every spread,
            and of course instant cup noodles.
Sit back and tap your fingers to some
        tunes in that carefully constructed playlist.
Snuggle with that
        favorite stuffy bunny and catch up on sleep
While I---
I will keep my eyes open every moment,
        eager for the cinematic scene playing in the window
                of the Metro regressing back to its roots:
From the bustling city
with its mechanical hums and bright lights,
        to the sleepy village
        and its vintage stillness and simplicity,
                to the vast rice paddy
                like an emerald in the sunlight,
                        then to the thick, dense rain-forest
                        echoing melodic chirps and hoots.

I never heard her say "I love you"
But I did hear her say
"Wake up. Breakfast is ready."
"Here's some extra money."
"Make sure you bring an umbrella today."
"Buckle your seat belt."
"Did you do your homework?"
"I saved a seat for you."
"Be home by ten."
"Are you okay?"

Truthfully
I can say that
I feel love
Not because I hear it
But because I see it.

Be the iron ore smelting in a crucible
Constantly being refined.
Ready to be molded into a mighty weapon.
Ready to be wielded in battle.
You possess a warm glow attracting.
And the lives that you touch
Burn along in love and
Melt along in awe of Glory.

Or

Be the brine drawn from the dark arctic depths,
With your cold pride
And salty apathy that leaves
Mouths and throats
Dry
And stirs bellies
To malfunction,
Then inaction.

But

Be not the stagnant puddle
Most toxic.
Reflecting heaven
But still clinging to the earth.
Collecting raindrops from the sky
Together with dirt from the soles of men.

For

Do not be lukewarm,
Neither hot nor cold,
For He will spit you out.

Venture within my mind,
I challenge you.
A forest so strange, so vast, so wild, so dense.
Bear with you a cruel set of bow and arrows,
And most importantly, a shield of your faith.
Take care of your shield and do not lose it.

My forest is teeming with trees, my memories.
Some are grand and sublime.
Their branches embrace the infinite sky,
While their shadows will brighten and lighten your soul.
Some are inferior and despicable.
Their branches dangle and will ***** you in the eye
Though you will have told them hundreds of times that you do not want to see them ever again.

My forest is abounding of creatures, my thoughts.
The rabbits, deer, and monkeys gleefully dancing around are very much worth minding.
But beware of the birds! They swoop from nowhere, nowhere at all, and pester everything.
Beware of the snakes! They are delightfully shiny and smooth.
But if you play with them, they will poison you and eat you alive.
You will exist in their foul stomach until you are complete dissolved.

The core of my forest
Is a colossal mountain of questions.
It is treacherous. It is cold.
It scrapes the sky and for sure it will scrape you.
Do not climb it,
For at the top, you will find unacceptable and invalid answers.
Most of the time, no answers at all.

Conquer me, please.
Endure the precious distance and the precious pain.
But before you end your adventure,
Pray that my forest will not become a city in the future
(A city is corrupted and cluttered and detached and deranged)
And share with me a part of yourself
Because no one does.

He's as straight as a curved line
Or so we speculate, or so he denies
A thousand signs, a million hints
Never as refreshing as an evening mint

He praises the men who live in the screen
Projected in front for all to be seen
“Is he attracted?” we ask
“Or is he just trying to bring joy so that his sadness will be masked?”

Deeper and deeper the bird plunges
Smaller and smaller the sky gets
His limbs flow and soon, suffocated
The days of his junk is dated

A sudden movement, always an explosion
Always seems intoxicated by a freak potion
Unnecessary but not always unwanted
But still every inch of his body is demented

His wretchedness is our pleasure
The distance between his pain and our joy cannot be measured
I say, everything in the universe is against him
We say, his very existence is sticky and dim

Angry mom
Uncleaned room
Missing chair
Math grade in doom

Lost books
Crossed and shaky legs
Blemished looks
Intermediate pad in despair

Rotten eggs
Sudden rain
Dancing legs
Junk in pain

Moldy bread
Virused usb
Relationship with girlfriend now dead
Showing off his bare body

Humongous hands
Side comments
Life never bland
But forever in lament

Alas, I bombarded him with questions
He states that he feels no hatred is most situations
Sometimes we wish that his life would change
But that would make our own very strange

I think our eyes would light up and ignite
As we finally return His gaze on us.
And every second to eternity
Will be painted with joy as
We play hide and seek in the maze
Created by the train of His robe that fill heaven's halls.
Then we will swim and splash in His overflowing glory,
And in the towering staircase,
Race each other to His throne.
But no
We won't grow tired and weary
I think that we will even go ahead
And get dizzy from dancing in worship
And lose our breath from laughing and singing praises.

Well...
We might just turn heaven into a playground,
But then again
We are His children after all!

You are not the width of your hips
You are not the shade of your skin
You are not the fabrics in your closet
You are not the electronics that you own
You are not the papers in your wallet
You are not what you possess
You are not what you look like

You are the songs that you sing to in the shower
You are the shows that you stay up watching
You are the books that you read for hours
You are the poems and stories you make
You are the art you create, the strokes of your fingers
You are the subjects in school you enjoy learning
You are the dreams you have for tomorrow
You are the people you look up to
You are the friends you spend Friday nights with
You are the boys that you kiss
You are how you talk to your parents
You are what you love
**You are how you love

We're stuck in a terrible traffic jam
Of a river of red lights.
At the car dashboard there is a faint green glow:
It's 11 pm.
I already feel tired for tomorrow
Even if it hasn't started yet
For I know I have to wake up at 5 am.

As my mind fills with fatigue and frustration
I hope in my heart
That my dad would never stop driving.
I wish that he would
     drive
            d r i v e
                  d  r  i  v  e
                        and  d   r   i   v   e
To wherever the road takes us and just
Let the dim orange street lamps lead us
To a brighter tomorrow.

I beg to break free from the city borders for
I can't seem to take the stress out of me
So just take me out of the stress.
Let this auto's mechanical hum
Drown my thoughts.
Let every revolution of the wheel
Oust the monsters reigning,
Preying on my mind.

The greens of the rain forests and rice fields,
The blues of the mountains and the ocean
Would zoom in smudged colors
In the artwork that is my window.
Roll it open and the wind
Would gently kiss my face and stroke my hair.
I will sigh,
Releasing the remnants of
My exhaustion and combusted fossils exhausted,
And filling my lungs with the air smelling
Of pine trees and the ocean breeze.

So I hope that we would never stop driving,
And let the road take us anywhere
I don't really care
As long as its
Anywhere but here.

The harsh sun beat on your back
The wind blew away
Everything
You held on to
The ground shook you to your knees
And the people who you thought would help you up
Did not but tried to bury you down
So you ran inside
And slammed the door shut,
Adorned it with locks,
And laced it with chains
You swallowed the key
And huddled to yourself
At the far side of the room
And made yourself careful
Too careful
And not caring
Of me
Standing outside your door
Gently tapping on the cold old wood
Continuously whispering
"Let me in...
      Let me in...
            Let me in..."
Let me in
Because I know that inside that door
I will find a mind
Exploding with the greatest stories
On the genres adventure and comedy
I will find a heart
Glowing with the warm embers
Of devotion and love.
Sometimes
My tapping escalate into banging
And my whispering: too loud
Now I'm shouting
Because I get frustrated
Of the lies you've blinded yourself with
And made you too paralyzed to live.
You are wrong,
So wrong
When you think that
I'm here to laugh at you,
Because I'm here to laugh with you
When you think that
I'm here to take from you,
Because I'm here to share with you
When you think that
I like you,
Because actually
I love you.
And so I'm begging you
Please
"Let me in..."
      "Let me in..."
            "Let me in..."

Summer!
The weather is as warm as our embraces
And the sky is as bright
As our tomorrows,
Finally...

It's time to drive to the coast and
Bury our dark worries in white sand
And let our
Smiles mirror the million sparkles
That erupt as we splash
In the briny beach.
And then
Let's get ourselves chocolate tans
with a tint of oranges and strawberries.
Oh,
And sticky kisses
From too much creamy avocado ice creams.

But we won't let the fun falter
Even if we huddle inside
Because we'll finally have time
To read
Adventure novels instead of textbooks
And write
Poems instead of essays on
Metaphysics. We can now
Stay up and
Watch the stars fade into the sunrise while
Sharing ghost stories and secrets
Instead of homework answers.

Summer!
Let out a sigh of relief and then
Take in a gasp of excitement.
Finally!

You come to Him
And sit on His lap
You greet Him
With your various appeals and requests:
Sentences and paragraphs
Wrapped with
"I want this"
and "Give me that"
And you search and inspect His hands for
The gifts and presents
Wrapped in pretty papers and big bows
But forget not that
He is far more---
He is light years beyond
The source of your joy and peace
Because
He is joy
He is peace
And so
Still
The erratic spin of the compass
Of your heart
And point the arrow
Back to your first love,
The One who loved you first
Humble before Him
And fall on your knees,
Fall at His feet
Stop searching His hands
And start seeking His face
Marvel and adore
The Master of masterpieces
Entitled "Beauty Personified"
In the silence,
Hear His melodic whispers
That calls for you singing,
"My friend, My child"
Bask in the rays of His radiance
Let His comforting warmth seep in your skin
And melt you,
Every part and particle of you
Smell His sweet aroma
That wafts and saturates the air
Breathe His breath
That made the stars explode into light
And made you come to life
Taste His goodness and
Fill yourself with His glory
And let it overflow
As praises
-----Just praises
Because there is already
Great joy and
Perfect peace
In just praising Him because
He is Joy
**He is Peace

i can't feel my head
but my heart is oh so
heavy.

unstable, unable

even if i can't get rid of the weight
i hope my head can help my heart carry.

Get lost!
Plunge into the cool waters of the unknown,
Breathe in its main element, adventure!
Fight fear!
Battle beasts!
Challenge chances!
Cultivate curiosity!

Get lost!
When you are navigating through
A remote road,
Alien alley,
Or secret sidewalk,
Soak your soul,
Let it dry
…slow
Do not wring the thrill out.

Get lost!
Everywhere,
Absolutely,
Is a strange somewhere and an exotic elsewhere.

the disease has already spread to your eyes
where its innocent twinkles have now been replaced
by a blazing fire of passion.
   it has reached your hands and feet
and has caused them to be horrified of inactivity.
   it has gotten so worse that the disease has also spread to your
lungs, where every breath
heart, where every beat and
mind, where every neuron is
for your dream and
by the hope that you have.
  
   i think that the virus is highly contagious
because now
i too am infected.
    it consumed my body
and has caused me to be
so sick
of the selfish and superficial
life that i once was living.
  
we are diagnosed with the dreamers disease and
no dosage of discouragement can cure us.
it has conquered our lives and together
we will start a pandemic
and conquer society.

I'm scared that I might trip,
Fall ******* my hard head,
And sink deep into
Oceans of my own tears so
I'm trying to get to you as fast as I can
But I'm not rushing
I'm not rushing, no.

Take heart to wait longer,
As I take time to get stronger
Because right now I'm not ready
But when that day comes
I'm certain I will be.
And I'm really sorry
For taking so long but please
Wait eagerly,
But wait patiently
And most of all,
Wait faithfully.

Until that day
We see each other
Wait, Love
Just wait for me.