hi
i know we're not on the same team anymore

but is it wrong that i still root for you?


i know you know
that i know this is best for us

we were never burning nicely

always to bright or too soft

sometimes the wind would leave us

stuck in the dark

when i think of our conversations
i know it is clear

that there is good reason

for you being somewhere else


and me being here

but when i lay down at night


and i hear your favorite song

the only way to sleep

is to pretend im in your arms

so is it OK that i need you
even though i don't want you

is it OK to still miss you
while wanting nothing to do with you

so when im in the stands all alone
is it OK that i root for you?

your words
once again
have made so cold my skin
i pray for someone
to turn my mind, revoke my sin
take your wounds
and cover them up
with a bandage of denial
a seed of doubt
planted in our minds
your heart shut down
closed for now
you say it numbs the pain
prevention of undeniable grief
you stole your own happiness
a selfless thief
perhaps the wind
will blow again
away your troubles
forget your sins
if only
if only
the rain would return to wash me
wayward and beyond thought
to the wistful wonders
of a world without
you

this song is for you
the one i wait for
i dont need you i know
thats what they all say
and logic reminds me
to push you away
but hearts have a funny way
of running amuck
once cherished and loved
it now lay untouched
i hope you enjoy it
this tune i derived
from chaos inside me
that once may subside;

three chords in progression
from major and flat
each one a reminder
for the weeks that have passed
three strings plucked in fashion
each one louder than last
a riff of goodbye notes
in minor key for effect
i sing all but once
so the silence reflects
the moment of quiet
i felt when you left
the life was drawn out of me
and silence began
my heart tore in pieces
like guitar strings when snapped
i finish each verse
with a simple refrain
a cry of the memories
that will always remain
the chorus is steady
it flows quick like champagne
that we poured one dark evening
we shared in the spring
the bridge is unending
it connects the past to the new
it starts with open chords
like the whole in my chest
and ends with a cadence
that drips with regret
the bass line is deep
like the sound of your voice
the beat is persistent
like the smell of your skin
the tune is repeated
like breathing out
breathing in

the song ends with hopefulness
despite all the grit

still the silence afterwords
will not comfortably sit

there will be no more teardrops
upon any fret
my guitar cannot weep
though i haven't stopped yet

and
it happened again tonight
the drifting
that lack of resolve  
my heart only knows how
to dissolve
every morsel of love
every line of your ill reprise  
each inch of this spaceless , weightless soul
growing heavier
and my mind breaks its bonds again
i allow a tear to fall
only one
for i did work so tirelessly to build those walls
to  smelt  the metal on my iron clasps
these locks for which only i possess
the key
your voice
your voice
and its never -failing-to-calm-me personality
my head
my head
and its inability to stay level
to keep my thoughts brief
would be to ask the moon
if it could be the sun
relatives to death and life
we are beautiful creatures
we are tangled lovers
awaiting our demise
if only one sorrowful sparrow
could fly overhead so i could realize
that the air is not solid
yet still i cannot breathe
but all the birds
have gone southward
they have followed the breeze
oh how i wish i could float on the seas
till my purpose is useful and my loneliness at ease  
till my woe-is-me' s
have all been spoken
and my pity wallowed out
till my friends are no longer awaiting
the shadows to bleed themselves out
till my selfish wailing is screamed out
till the days and the nights have lost significance
when time is negligent  
seconds or hours
its all in our skulls
which filled they are now
with words that i've said
have you noticed yet, wise ones
that i speak only of myself
even when im speaking
of someone else
this is the life we have not chosen
to lead
but its ours
and we are its
and there is so very much to see
so shake off your burdens
or sink in the sea
you will rise up or drown
do not follow me
let the spirits run free
of the past and ourselves
speak to the trees ask them where they wish they could be
they are grounded
we are free

i hate the way your lips curl upward as you listen to my bitter words
you laugh at me as if i were a child
you chide me, then abide by me only to turn on me
you make my heart twist, wringing out all  its stubborn, wistful blood
wandering mind oh leave my soul alone, don't evoke my listlessness
you leave me hanging, waiting, eagerly, then  anxiously
my mouth dripping with words, pouring wild expectations
you arrive, just too late, its no surprise, you watch my dying eyes
i glare as they stare
young love and its prey
an innocent again has been ensnared

i fear that if you saw me
you'd be  frightened
by what i've become
that you'd back away
but even more
i am so **** afraid
of you
moving in closer
and closer

the windows shatter
as your screams tear through
these walls remain silent
secrets held true
the doubt in your footsteps
the pain in your speech
the whispers at midnight
the stories you keep
alone in your descent
alone as you fall
straight through to the ceiling
yet still you stand  tall
your mother
remember
the sound of her shriek
to find you in a nightmare
tangled in sheets
today you awaken
no more can you dream
your life which is endless
you're a clasp without key

you push me
over and over again
the edge is not enough
so you create new heights
new highs
for me to hold on to
the edge of this life
and i follow you
oh how i followed you
till the end and back
and its not until now
that i realize
that to die is to be in love
and then to wake up