I can't write in the silence. I write best, when there is music playing through my headphones. When, part of my brain is preoccupied singing along to whatever is on the radio- and to some that may seem counterproductive.
It's like suddenly, my inhibitions and fears of saying the wrong thing disappear and I can write freely. Like being drunk, without the consequences.
I wish I was in the point in my life, I could simply say the words I need to say, instead of typing them.
This probably doesn't even make sense and I'll probably delete it later on
The light sang in her ears Sprightly, musical white light. The salt made her feet tingle Steaming, soothing salt. Glass drenched everything Twisting, summery glass. Soundful silence Rueful bliss Placid insanity
If you've ever woken up in the dead of night Feeling like you had to scream and howl And you frantically start to gasp and write Knowing you need to get everything out Only to try and show it to the world the next day And run when someone looks near you Well, then you know just how my day Looks if seen from my view
If you've ever written lyrics for all To see, posting work anonymously Feeling like you could swim over falls And live your life courageously And then you awake in the late evening Because it's either the world's end or a branch on a pane I don't have to explain exactly what I'm meaning Because you and I feel the same
If you've ever known you're going mad Even though you try to deny it And then you wonder if it's actually bad Later, you actually know it But you don't dare to say anything Because it will destroy your path and dreams Then, I think you'll understand Just what the hell I mean
So, I guess I'll start by saying that I have not done much to accomplish my goal of staying awake. I mean, usually I can just will power my way through it. But that doesn't always work. And I don't expect it to.
Second thing, I have no idea how to combat my sleep patterns. I mean it's sort of unpredictable and inconsistent. So maybe I will sleep just because. Not because I want to, but because I can.
And my current situation is sort of battling that decision of "sleep of no sleep".
It's a process that I'd rather not go through at the moment. So the sleep aside, I think that excitement of getting to Paris is nothing short of overwhelming.
but the curiosity of what it's going to be like is a weird thrill. Wondering what it'll be like to live there for a week. I'm still sort of nervous about it all and I'm still getting used to the though of it all.
So I guess I won't have much more to say until we actually get there. And I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am to get there.
And so the struggle continues... Oh why can't sleep just be a simple thing on a plane? Oh wait...
and they told me to breath and they said it'd be fine each day gets better darkness passes with time but life is a circle and it still comes around so here i am waiting and i finally found this ******* they spew about love and the truth my head cant wrap around the ignorance ive found so i gather my thoughts and i tie them with string and i hide them inside till the day when i say the darkness did win