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Stalwart Dull Mar 2021
As I look at myself dying
A secret. I'm not yet done
from keeping
It's not  mysterious nor thrilling
But a tragedy, that seems unending—tin🍃
Stalwart Dull Feb 2022
9th day of February I was happy
5 times, I wish you were here
Breaths heavily on count of 3
But after this is another three
0% possibility that somebody will help me
As I passed out around 6
I heard your voice called me 3 times
8 steps to follow your voice
But there's no one to see, it's 0 visibility
Because the 9th day of February ended sorrowfully —tin🍃
PHONE NUMBER POEM
9533063809
Stalwart Dull Sep 2020
There were sparks in her eyes that no one can see
She admired someone she wanted to be
Yet, it was destroyed by reality
She said to herself, " I can only be me".
Stalwart Dull Oct 2022
Anxiety is drowning me with thoughts
G r i e f    with    the    t o r m e n t i n g  
       nightmare of the past                        
On  the  m o m e n t   that  one  of  my      dreams bit the dust  
No one noticed, nor dared to listen to  
                  my throes; when I'm  
Y e a r n i n g    for    true    c o m f o r t.
By MsSecreto/ Stalwart Dull
08 October 2022
Stalwart Dull Sep 2020
Each one of us are suspect
The trick is how are we going to connect
For which we aim victory and do teamwork
But betrayed by the low ping of network

Choose room if it is public or private
Use map for the ship to navigate
Impostors sneaked up on a vent
Took a moment to **** the innocent

It's where we learn to pretend
Laugh 'til the end,
Learn for yourself to defend
Be wise for which your victory depend

Call emergency meetings to discuss
One of us will be eliminated
Five, Four, Three, Two, One SHHHHHHH!
you disconnected


http://stalwartdull-thoughts.blogspot.com/2020/09/among-us.html
Stalwart Dull Feb 2021
She's a poet who writes for relief
and that made her a thief
Destroy every joyful people's belief
because she writes poetry
that will make you feel such grief. —Tin
EHS
Stalwart Dull Jul 2021
EHS
The way she smiles,
My heart was melting
Even if she needs to walk a thousand miles
She never stopped on dreaming.

You see her with courage
At her young age
But deep inside was a girl
Who's still getting ready at this stage

dependency was a craaaap!
But standing by herself will make her to the top
And so she did,
She's making a step up.
Stalwart Dull Aug 29
Can't barely sleep.
Who am I gonna ask for help,
if everyone else doesn't want to speak?
I can't tell anyone that I'm afraid.
So, I stood up in a shadowed corner.
Hoping that the signs of fear might be concealed.

I have no one else to show my vulnerability.
I need to be brave and strong, so I don't get pitied.
You might think that it's all part of stupidity.
Of not asking for help, is my weakness that lead.

I heard them screaming.
The sound of sorrow that awakens my senses which stopped me from dreaming.
Dreams were turned into nightmares, so bad for making me anxious of the things that I cannot control.

Help me escape in this chaotic mind
These painful scenarios should be left behind
Stalwart Dull Oct 2020
Five.. four..three... A life depends
When the last leaf fell,
His life will end
But one day he was getting well

Two..one.. A heavy rain happened
He asked his friend for the curtain to be opened
The last leaf is still there
But the one who made it is not anymore there

One.. it's still one
His life was saved by that old man
That masterpiece changed everything
It saves life because of that painting.
Inspired by the story: The last leaf
Stalwart Dull Jul 2021
I'm tired.
Can I take some rest and lay down on the bed with flowers on my chest?
Cause I've tried already and gave all my best.

I'm sad.
Can I cry and take away all pain in my chest?
Cause I'm done keeping everything, to be honest.

I'm full.
Can I empty my mind and let my thoughts digest?
Cause I'm totally depressed.
Stalwart Dull Oct 2020
I was shut-in on my own little freedom
Where other people die because of boredom
How can I escape in this reality of wisdom?
I want to live in my imagination and build my own kingdom.
Stalwart Dull Mar 2021
I talk to the moon when
I find myself alone
Start writing with my pen
And throw myself a stone

I talk to the moon when
I start thinking of you
As I count one to ten
What am I supposed to do?

I talk to the moon when
I feel I'm losing my mind
Fight for it when I still can
Cause I don't want a rewind

I talk to the moon when
I felt true happiness
Feels like in a coffin
Releasing loneliness

Now I talk to the moon when
I have a story to tell.
Stalwart Dull Feb 2021
Whenever I hear your name,
My heart starts to pound
I don't know if it's lame,
But in my eyes, thousands of emotions can be found.

At first, I don't know if it's love
Having that feeling makes my heart throb.
Your voice is a music in my ears
Repeatedly playing while forgetting my fears

My heart was captivated for real
I was obvious, but it's hard to reveal
With those emotions I could barely conceal
I'm done confessing and its no big deal.
Stalwart Dull Nov 2020
Remember the day we first met,
I never had an idea that one day I'll regret
The day we never knew the reason
Why  we get each other's attention.

Remember when I feel bad of myself that day,
You've been there for me
Whenever I kept on pushing you away,
You never leave me.

Remember the day you kept on proving yourself,
That was the day I looked at myself
I still can't believe how much you try
Here I am, I'm wondering why.

Remember when you sent me home that night,
I told myself you were my knight
't was lame. But you saved me from my fright
Cause you always made me feel alright.

Remember when I told you we were just friends,
That was the day I started to fall
I began to build up my wall
For me to see where it ends

You stayed through my ups and down
In return, you see my face with a frown

Remember the day you taught me how to play the guitar,
I thought I'm still the one.
That was the day I expected so far
Hoping that in your heart I won.

Remember the hard times I went through
I kept my feelings I thought its not true
I pretend as lang as you have no clue
Those were the times I couldn't stop loving you.

Remember when I asked you to sing a song,
That was the time I've waited for so long
I never knew it was late
't was the day we exchanged our fate.

I can still remember the day
I wanted to hug you from your back
And tell you how I wanted you to comeback
That day was your birthday

I can still remember the day, I was happy
The day I'll confess that I'm ready
I saw you with her and I was awaken by reality
You were with her under the tree

I was thankful you set yourself free
Free from hurting because of me
I saw you, I'm sitting from another tree
And that day was March twenty

Remember you had your girlfriend
That was the day I thought it was the end
I swore to my self that I won't fall again
But it's not that easy, I'm tired to pretend.

I can still remember the day you taught me a lesson
A lesson that made me feel I'm in prison
The day I regret what I've done
Wishing your happiness when I'm gone

I can still remember the day I wanted to stop pretending
Stop the lies that seems unending
That day I couldn't stop myself from crying

I can still remember the day my feelings remain
Waiting for you to look in my eyes again
The day I wanted to ask you to stay

I became selfish for all I know
You distance yourself because I told you so

The real thing is I fall hard but you never know
You distance yourself because we let each other go.
PS: It's a thread
I'm writing it on Wattpad
Stalwart Dull Oct 2020
Everywhere I go, you follow
Except in the dark, you never show.
I never see your expression
But I know that we have the same emotion.
Stalwart Dull Apr 19
Something inside me is pounding.
Do I still have a heart to feel about the situations that looks surreal?
I witnessed a horrible scenario, it was revealed.
But all I knew was there's something pounding inside me.

I can't explain if I was hurt nor I was nervous,
But I noticed something within me
It's breaking me, but I was confused
Tears won't come out, even emotions were unreadable

My hands were shaking, I was rattling deep inside me
But nothing comes out, I want to calm myself down
So all I did was to keep in silence, will you say it's gonna be alright while holding my hand?
I don't know how all of these will end.
Are there thoughts or feelings that you just hardly understand?
Stalwart Dull Apr 16
I need someone who will hold my hand
When he felt that life is getting tough.
Someone who will understand by just staring in my cold eyes
To lift my mood without using sweet lies.
Because I only wanted to feel that I am more than just enough.

There are lots of things that I wanted and needed,
And I don't think that I deserve it.
Something's missing, I wasn't perfect.
But there was you who made me feel that I wasn't lacking of something.
December 08, 2023
Stalwart Dull Oct 2020
She was full of courage when it comes to challenge
As she face problem on every stage
But she gets tired and it's strange
And so she did, she made a change

She always show her side of weakness
When it comes to the stage of darkness
She felt nervous and selfless
Knowing that she is nothing but disappointments
Stalwart Dull Oct 2020
She always dream to feel true happiness
She laugh with her friends behind her sadness
She wanted to escape immediately to that loneliness
Because it seems so endless

As she cries with her broken heart
It's not because she's falling apart
But because she is already tired
Tired of trying so hard
Stalwart Dull Oct 2020
She always wanted to cry
She was with her teary eye
Hoping it will get dry
And flashes a sweet smile

She was with her cold expression
That every people has it's bad impression
And being judged by their own reason
And being fooled by their own illusion.
Stalwart Dull Sep 2020
The Truth Part - III

She always tell the truth to her friends
It was them, where her trust depends
She knew that everything has its end
It was them, where her time should spend

She's not yet done on the stage of insecurity,
Knowledge won't fade but beauty
She's on her way to maturity
Beauty won't define her but humility
Stalwart Dull Oct 2020
She was degraded by her appearance
But being admired by her tolerance
She had proven herself once
And don't waste the time for every chance

She still remember where she stand
Still look back where, there's a helping hand
They gave me anything I want
Too much help that you can't even count like sand
Stalwart Dull Apr 20
They're attractive to see
long, thin, sharp as nails
they grow slow like snails
its life is one long jubilee

Butterfly is not a meal
but when they flew in your stomach, it felt surreal
is something that you cannot steal
a hunger that is hard to fulfill

As when thorns and butterflies collide,
You wouldn't even know how to survive
Thorns will **** you for a while
The worst feeling that you cannot hide

Thorns will pierce you and the pain is mild
Butterflies will die, even if they go wild.
04/25/2023
Stalwart Dull Oct 2022
Blood  sweat  and  tears.
W h i s p e r i n g  in  pain
When  the rain  blows  on
Eyes full of hatred and fear,
T h i r s t i n g   for   freedom
Seeking for humility to those who rule in presumptuousness and arrogance.
By MsSecreto/Stalwart Dull
08 October 2022
Stalwart Dull Apr 2022
Your smile will never be bright
In this sorrowful night
As you thought, will it be alright?
Oh love, please hold on so tight.

Dreams were darken by the past
Your stares were freezing
Nobody knows how it would last
For what you have seen is heartbreaking.

Scissors, paper and pen
Use it to scream in pain
And then walk in the pouring rain
How satisfying it could be to cry in vain.

That is all you can do
Have some sleep forever is the best for you.
Stalwart Dull Sep 2020
Hey! I just wanted to say goodnight
Wishing someday I could hug you tight
Then wake up with the sun shines so bright
It's the new beginning I'm ready to fight!
Stalwart Dull Dec 2020
I kept my feelings for you
I doubted myself if it was true
But its hard for not giving a clue
And now I'm still into you.
Stalwart Dull Aug 2021
Oh! How I love to write my feelings for you
You're my knight who saves me for feeling blue
Feeling these butterflies were new
In my stomach, I wonder how they flew.

Oh! How I love to write tales of you
I Iove you and this feelings were true
Even there were so many battles I went through
I want to win these fights with you
Stalwart Dull Oct 2020
The sky thundered and the rain poured down
Together with my tears flowed 'till I get drown
I am used to be like a clown
Shows a fake smile to cover my frown
You met me when I was broken,
Not aware of my feelings that gets deeper.
There were no signs given,
But there are moments I should remember.

I wasn't happy back then,
But you start brightening my dark days.
I tried ignoring you as much as I can,
Still, you're getting my attention in many ways.

You're so cool, and I was problematic.
Every time you are near, I start to panic.
It took me some time to realize it was true,
The moment I began to feel something for you.

I couldn't stop thinking of you,
even if by means of loving you could make me a creep.
words are not enough to prove it, merely a way to give you a clue.

To be continued..
Stalwart Dull Sep 10
Simple things could make you smile,
I wonder if you're soft and fragile
But one thing is for sure,
that you love him so much more.

Why do you keep on settling for less?
Is that how you wanted to express,
the love you felt for that man
you're trying to impress?

I don't know how you managed
to stay in a relationship full of doubt
is that what unconditional love is all about?
an emotion or feeling that you cannot express through mouth
but it's too clear to understand if your heart shouts it out loud.

Yes, you settled for less
and that less might turn into progress.
Even your childhood is a mess,
that doesn't mean you can't live your life to the fullest.

Imagine you have the guy you wanted for so long,
how can you live with that in reality?
where everything seems right might be wrong
Reality *****, and your wants cannot be defined so perfectly.

Is that how love should be?
sometimes you have to be treated just nobody?
a perfect relationship is just imaginary
even being loved whole-heartedly
is not that ordinary.
--- written for someone who requested me to write about settling for less --
Stalwart Dull Apr 2023
I don't know where to find myself,
Not lying on the bed, nor reading a book on the shelf.
This is all what I can think of searching
Maybe I lost it, and be permanently missing.
Stalwart Dull Apr 16
You were full of thoughts deep inside you that was kept for a long time,
And I was constantly amazed the way  your feelings was confessed
Something that's inside your heart makes the people got impressed
But I wasn't so sure, and I think that a one false move would constitute a crime

I hate you, the way I hate other people
And that bothers me, for I should be the person who doesn't care at all
I do. In a short span of time I did stop caring
But most of the time I never think about mine

You will never be the first person who did something for me, either good or bad
But you're the only person who told me something that I forgot but can still feel it,  and its makin' me mad

This should be sweet, a message that could make your heart beat
But I don't know how to compose something
It's full of confusion, I only write because of grief
Still, I wanna write for you, for someone special that I should treat
Stalwart Dull Apr 2023
How lucky I feel to live for real,
melancholia that is hard to reveal
imagine.scribble. gives me chill
Live in austerity, an innocuous thrill

How lovely I feel to have this pen in my hand
you wanna look inside of me, and watch me write?
See it in a different point of view
Cause you only got one side of me, and nothin's new

Shocking to feel a positive charge
Unusual sensation in my heart
you wanna look inside of me, and watch me write?
Don't be surprised with a big invisible spark.
You were enchanted by the mystery,
You thought it was love and pursued me.
Been excited to discover every part of me.
Touched me like a book, what an interesting story it could be.

I am just ordinary,
people might see me as an old book that could not be understood easily.
I am just nobody,
but you brought me up to life where my existence has been saved from a tragedy.

You have stolen my heart that made my feelings to ramble.
'T was confusing...
and for a moment, I never thought that this will cause me to slumber.
'T was frightening...
A nightmare when we became lovers.

We both made this story, a fairytale.
In the end, it's ourselves that we fail.
Fantasizing each word, trying to mend the aching wounds.
It's not the sword that cuts, but the lies that's ripping us 'till we hear the rhythm of the heart that pounds.

I have never lived my life through your expectations.
Still, we tried to chase everybody at their romantic phase,
while being deceived by our own illusions
As I turned the page, showing fears that I couldn't face.

I laughed when you told me that, alone, I can write it beautifully.
like the songs with a perfect melody.
You think that tearing me apart could turn into a perfect art,
Leaving me afraid and lonely.

I was left there, hanging.
In every page, horrible scenarios are ranging
I was left there hoping,
Just in case there still be a happy ending.
WHAT AN ART TO GET HURT
Woe
Stalwart Dull Sep 2020
Woe
Things are just hard to explain
Help me! I'm now in pain
Tears are falling like rain
Spending my life I cannot regain.

Oh my precious life!
Words are sharp like knife
How can I restore my sui generis vitality
When it is supposed to be bury

Lethargy is suffering like torment
But all of this pain will never be permanent
Cherish vivaciousness every moment
Commencement might end with contentment.
Stalwart Dull Mar 2021
You're a pen

You're a pen who draw
A smile on my face
Accepted my flaws
And made my heart race

You're a pen who write
the memories that was erased
Those times you made me feel alright
Can never be replaced

You're a pen who signed
A commitment with my heart
The love I thought I cannot find
From those who tear us apart

Cause you're a pen that I love
I always wish to have.

— The End —