Anxiety is drowning me with thoughts
G r i e f    with    the    t o r m e n t i n g  
       nightmare of the past                        
On  the  m o m e n t   that  one  of  my      dreams bit the dust  
No one noticed, nor dared to listen to  
                  my throes; when I'm  
Y e a r n i n g    for    true    c o m f o r t.

Blood  sweat  and  tears.
W h i s p e r i n g  in  pain
When  the rain  blows  on
Eyes full of hatred and fear,
T h i r s t i n g   for   freedom
Seeking for humility to those who rule in presumptuousness and arrogance.

You're a pen

You're a pen who draw
A smile on my face
Accepted my flaws
And made my heart race

You're a pen who write
the memories that was erased
Those times you made me feel alright
Can never be replaced

You're a pen who signed
A commitment with my heart
The love I thought I cannot find
From those who tear us apart

Cause you're a pen that I love
I always wish to have.

I kept my feelings for you
I doubted myself if it was true
But its hard for not giving a clue
And now I'm still into you.

Remember the day we first met,
I never had an idea that one day I'll regret
The day we never knew the reason
Why  we get each other's attention.

Remember when I feel bad of myself that day,
You've been there for me
Whenever I kept on pushing you away,
You never leave me.

Remember the day you kept on proving yourself,
That was the day I looked at myself
I still can't believe how much you try
Here I am, I'm wondering why.

Remember when you sent me home that night,
I told myself you were my knight
't was lame. But you saved me from my fright
Cause you always made me feel alright.

Remember when I told you we were just friends,
That was the day I started to fall
I began to build up my wall
For me to see where it ends

You stayed through my ups and down
In return, you see my face with a frown

Remember the day you taught me how to play the guitar,
I thought I'm still the one.
That was the day I expected so far
Hoping that in your heart I won.

Remember the hard times I went through
I kept my feelings I thought its not true
I pretend as lang as you have no clue
Those were the times I couldn't stop loving you.

Remember when I asked you to sing a song,
That was the time I've waited for so long
I never knew it was late
't was the day we exchanged our fate.

I can still remember the day
I wanted to hug you from your back
And tell you how I wanted you to comeback
That day was your birthday

I can still remember the day, I was happy
The day I'll confess that I'm ready
I saw you with her and I was awaken by reality
You were with her under the tree

I was thankful you set yourself free
Free from hurting because of me
I saw you, I'm sitting from another tree
And that day was March twenty

Remember you had your girlfriend
That was the day I thought it was the end
I swore to my self that I won't fall again
But it's not that easy, I'm tired to pretend.

I can still remember the day you taught me a lesson
A lesson that made me feel I'm in prison
The day I regret what I've done
Wishing your happiness when I'm gone

I can still remember the day I wanted to stop pretending
Stop the lies that seems unending
That day I couldn't stop myself from crying

I can still remember the day my feelings remain
Waiting for you to look in my eyes again
The day I wanted to ask you to stay

I became selfish for all I know
You distance yourself because I told you so

The real thing is I fall hard but you never know
You distance yourself because we let each other go.

The sky thundered and the rain poured down
Together with my tears flowed 'till I get drown
I am used to be like a clown
Shows a fake smile to cover my frown

I was shut-in on my own little freedom
Where other people die because of boredom
How can I escape in this reality of wisdom?
I want to live in my imagination and build my own kingdom.

Everywhere I go, you follow
Except in the dark, you never show.
I never see your expression
But I know that we have the same emotion.

Hey! I just wanted to say goodnight
Wishing someday I could hug you tight
Then wake up with the sun shines so bright
It's the new beginning I'm ready to fight!

There were sparks in her eyes that no one can see
She admired someone she wanted to be
Yet, it was destroyed by reality
She said to herself, " I can only be me".

The Truth Part - III

She always tell the truth to her friends
It was them, where her trust depends
She knew that everything has its end
It was them, where her time should spend

She's not yet done on the stage of insecurity,
Knowledge won't fade but beauty
She's on her way to maturity
Beauty won't define her but humility

Each one of us are suspect
The trick is how are we going to connect
For which we aim victory and do teamwork
But betrayed by the low ping of network

Choose room if it is public or private
Use map for the ship to navigate
Impostors sneaked up on a vent
Took a moment to **** the innocent

It's where we learn to pretend
Laugh 'til the end,
Learn for yourself to defend
Be wise for which your victory depend

Call emergency meetings to discuss
One of us will be eliminated
Five, Four, Three, Two, One SHHHHHHH!
you disconnected


http://stalwartdull-thoughts.blogspot.com/2020/09/among-us.html

Things are just hard to explain
Help me! I'm now in pain
Tears are falling like rain
Spending my life I cannot regain.

Oh my precious life!
Words are sharp like knife
How can I restore my sui generis vitality
When it is supposed to be bury

Lethargy is suffering like torment
But all of this pain will never be permanent
Cherish vivaciousness every moment
Commencement might end with contentment.