the scent of incense
hangs heavy in the air
the constant murmer of voices
comes crashing like waves
but your eyes meet mine
and the faces disappear
the voices die,
all that remains
is an unspoken invitation
from my lips
willing yours to kiss them
and yours happily
meet their request
leaving our love tasting
like oranges
tenderly plucked
from moonlight lips.

you might not
have been my first love
but you were the one
who hurt the most.

i want to love you
like a lazy sunday morning
staying in bed
taking our time
sipping coffee
memorising every freckle
like the constellations in the sky
white sheets
and tangled limbs
with the scent of a memory
fresh on our lips.

i long for a love
that will break me,
eat me whole
and spit me out aching.
i want to love
as achilles loved patroclus,
with a burning in my heart
and a madness
that would tear
even the fates apart.

you shot across my sky
like a rare constellation
now yours
is the only touch i'm craving

our eyes meet
and i drown completely
each moment with you
leaves me aching so sweetly

feeling drunk off every kiss
i wonder if you know
that yours
is the only face i miss

so little time
with so much i long to do
i'd run straight into trouble
if it led me to you.

under the velvet darkness
of those summer nights
you held me close to you
like a sacred song

rumi once said
that lovers do not finally meet
somewhere along the way
they are inside each other
all along

is that why your name
reawakened a fire in my blood
the moments our lips touched?
your kisses sweet
like the first new moon in the sky

i drank the honey from your lips
and realised how blind i'd been
to ever look for love
when you had lived inside me
in every lifetime.

each kiss had me soaring higher
blinded by the sweetness of the sun
my name on your lips
just as holy as any sermon
they say falling feels alot like flying
until you hit the ground
but as the wax from my wings melted
sticky and red
i decided it was worth it
to be close to you
c l o s e s t  to you
for even a moment.

and now
when we are nothing
but dust
i only wish
that you let me show you
you were always
enough.

eden is hands
covered in ink stains
from my soul escaping
onto the pages
of tattered notebooks,
listening to the rain
fall softly on the window
like a lover's kiss
upon my shoulder
while the amber haze
of candlelight
burns slowly,
gently dancing
in golden celebration
across the darkness
just like the flames
that swallow me at your touch.

you want to see
how soft and tender my flesh is
and crack the inside of my mind open
like a pomegranate,
ruby jewels spilling onto white sheets.
i offer my plum ripe heart to you greedily
prey wanting to be hunted,
only to be left with sticky hands
from trying to hold myself together
when you walk away.

you looked at me
like a child
looks at his fallen ice cream
mourning the sweetness
he never got to taste

i should have seen it then
the goodbye in your eyes
i guess i was too busy
trying to stop myself
from spilling over your feet.

when i asked
if this was the end
you said
"i don't know"
and i heard "yes"

if you
had stopped talking
for long enough
i think you would have
heard me breaking
but instead
you went on
with your conversation
as if i wasn't crumbling
to pieces in front of you
my nectarine soft heart spoiled,
the juices running
onto the floor,
hands messy
from trying
to hold us together.

i once thought how easily
i could compare my love
to my eating disorder

sometimes i want all of you
to devour you hungrily
consuming you with greedy hands
only to exorcise you out
when i feel unworthy

other times it sneaks up on me
your name humming in the dark
leaving me starving
for nothing will satisfy but you

if only i could let myself
have a single taste
to press my teeth upon your heart
and feel your blood rising
to meet mine

then, once all i could taste was you
once you kissed every corner
of my honey soaked mouth
i would spit you out
before i could swallow you whole
before the hurt came
and ruined me entirely.

i feel you pulling at me
drawing me back to you
with each whisper
my bones react,
your hand on my throat
my blood singing your name,
craving destruction.

you once said
i was your very life source
before leaving me behind
without a second thought
now i can't escape
these memories of you
and so i hope my love stains you
like spilled red wine
on fresh linen sheets
i hope my name burns your throat
clawing its way out
when you try to forget
i hope every stolen glance
every clandestine moment
haunts you
my ghost greeting you
each time you close your eyes
the feeling of how it felt
to have me
bright and alive and burning
before losing me
like dust in your hands
eats you alive.

the roses on your knuckles
bloomed
as you held me open for you
moonlight casting it's gentle glow
silver cupping your face
as your eyes met mine
and my soul awakened
longing to dance with yours
each breath a crescendo
that left no doubt behind
the knowledge so clear
like the sapphire sky
shining above us
the balmy summer night
our own refuge
i couldn't escape it
the stolen whispers between us
were never going to be enough
for my heart had been yours
in every lifetime.

on soft twilight mornings
when the world
still sleeps soundly
the blackbirds singing
their daily sermon
i stretch lazily
the crisp sheets a shroud
i feel the warmth
of the sweet summer sun
kissing my back
and i smile
knowing that you had once
done the same.

in the darkness i find you
your face forming so easily
despite the dawns between us
incense fills the air
and i'm back there
in that first moment
your eyes sparking like a glacier
the air between us dancing
with a million words unsaid
i knew then what i know now
with oranges staining my lips
the pain of loving another
would never be as sweet.

sapphire nights
spent with your body
pressed on mine,
hearts racing
stars aligning
moonlit promises
forgotten by dawn,
each bittersweet memory
a reminder
of what could have been.

you placed a crown
upon my head
making me feel
like i was the queen
of your castles
little did i know
they were made
of nothing but sand
then the tide crashed in
and swept them away
hushed promises
forgotten by morning.

i woke to your eyes again
the deepest blue
like gazing into the ocean,
seconds before the storm comes in.

the truth is
i find your ghost at every turn
and still feel the cool waters
of your touch
with every whisper of the wind,
each memory a living phantom.

now i know
not even the holiest exorcism
could pull the threads of you
from my mind
you are the bread and wine
the iron in your blood
pulling me in
sweeter than any nectar.

i crave a love
that is other worldly,
extraterrestrial
you are the cosmos
i long to explore.

you breathe me in
each stolen kiss
a sacred prayer
spilling from our lips
you say my name
and my blood sings for you,
evergreens blooming
through my ribcage
no moment
will ever be long enough
your fingers find my hair
crimson flames
dancing across water
your whispered confession
sealing my fate
as i scream your name
into the heavens
my own personal sermon
i will never be whole again;
for you have captured me
so entirely.

i knew i was yours
before we had even met
the still image of you
smiling back at me
enough to seal my fate
the inevitably of us
of a heartbreak
so encompassing
humming in my blood
even in the crowd
my eyes found you
the imprint of you
buried deep in my bones
i saw you and i felt it
an awakening
a longing unlike any other
to claim what had been mine
in every lifetime
a cosmic dance
reserved only for you.

summer love
and your glacier eyes
grass stains
on silken skin
with the taste of july
staining our lips,
one look from you
and i'm on my knees
drunk on your kiss
each lie sweeter
than dandelion wine.

i once thought soulmates
were the missing piece
the perfect fit
the calm after the storm
but then i met you
and everything that i am
everything that i fear
was mirrored back to me
and my soul sighed
at the feeling
of finally being seen
our eyes met
twin blues colliding
and i knew
it would always be you.

you told me
when you closed your eyes
and you felt your blood
start to boil
it's my face you see
all without ever
having my body.

i smiled
and replied;
lover,
undress the mind
and the soul will follow
the body will never come close.

just like sunflowers
contort themselves
to face the sun
perhaps i am capable of the same,
stretching myself
to feel your presence
your soul sustaining me
like the flowers feed the bees.

i feel their eyes on me
and can't help but wish
they were yours
your stare always enough
to set me alight
pinning me in place
a lamb longing for the wolf
for only you
can capture me so wholly
like prey greedily awaiting the hunt
their eyes find mine
and all i see is you.

you devoured me
so easily,
leaving me starving
for your touch
and no fruits on earth
can ease my hunger.
so tell me lover,
how does it feel
to have your teeth
in my beating heart?

i don't think you understand
just how hungry i am for you
my lips water
at the very thought
of your skin against mine
all teeth and claws
and hands in my hair
eyes alive with starvation
fork and knife ready
begging you
to let me eat you whole.

you were the moonlit shore
and i had been drowning at sea
nothing had ever been
more beautiful
as if poseidon
had moulded you himself
the storm in your eyes
my own salvation.

you said
we were a destined love
just right person
wrong time
and so i loved you
in that space between
sleep and awake
where the weight of your kiss
still lingered
like peter losing wendy
wondering just how long
i was meant to wait
for you
to come back to me.

as surely as winter
loosens it's icy grip
with one last kiss
upon my throat,
i know spring
will soon return
to gently hold me
in her warm embrace
as the earth
calls me back home.

we crashed together
so naturally
like the sea
against the shore
sandy lips
and ocean eyes
whispering promises
washed away
by morning.

i always adored the story
of peter pan and his lost boys,
yet the ending made me ache.
it's in the moment
where he tells his darling wendy
that he'll love her forever,
in the place between sleep and awake.
i know now that i wait for you there
with my heart in my hands
beating out your name,
wondering if the whole thing
had been nothing more
than a day dream.

you left
and suddenly i realised
why we started naming storms
after people.

it's july
and we're falling out of bars
incense clinging to our hair
chasing the last
of the saccharine sun
each strawberry stained kiss
introducing us to god

it's july
and we're hiding under satin sheets
moonlight dancing
upon naked flame
sticky fingers
trying to hold us together
your teeth find my skin
and i can never find the words
to tell you how you've marked me
like spoiled fruit
in the summer heat

it's july
and each amber scented day
leaves me longing
for the month we stole
your eyes met mine
and it felt like a wound mending
before slipping away
with the autumn breeze

it's july
and all i can see is you.

even now
i am haunted by you still
i see you everywhere,
i hear you every time
the waves crash into the shore
and feel you each time
the wind caresses my skin.
our songs play
and my day comes to hault
i'm back to those summer nights,
wrapped inside your arms
honey and clementines
bleeding from our lips.

in those moments i realise
how deeply you are buried
into my being,
as if my bones are made
from magnets
searching just for you.

when you left
a part of me never recovered
no food could sustain me
the way your touch did
so nothing passed my lips,
i was left a ruin
standing but empty
forgotten and left to wither
shrinking smaller
with each sunset
but all people could tell me
was how good i looked.

there was no escape
your soul bewitched mine
the instant our eyes met
on velvet nights
our bodies bled into one,
moonlight kissing flesh
a love so full of fire
the stars themselves
faced inwards to watch
our nightly worship.

we crashed into each other
like a perfect storm
but they say lightning
never strikes twice,
maybe that's why
i find it impossible to let you go.

i stare at these pages
as if the words
are going to be enough
to bring you back,
as if the blood spilled
will be all you need
to see that i'm right here.
yet once again,
all i'm left with
is ink stained hands
and a fracture in my chest.

they say with lovers time stands still,
i didn't fully understand until one rainy morning in paris. you'd let me wander aimlessly around my favourite bookstore for hours, smiling sweetly at my excitement even though you hadn't read the prose. you escaped into the morning air, i walked out of the doorway to find you and the hands of time silenced. there you were, tucked underneath the dew; the crimson morning sun lighting you up. you were deep in conversation with a lone artist, mesmerized by her work. the watercolours dancing in your eyes. i thought you looked so beautiful, that the notre dame behind you dwarfed in comparison. in that second i knew i would spend forever trying to keep that look in your eyes.

i begged myself not to say it
to keep the words
hidden tightly behind my lips
yet you drew them out
with each hungry kiss you stole
your name a prayer
i couldn't stop them forming
pushing their way out into existence

"i am so completely in love with you"

the moment they escaped i felt it
my breath catching in my throat
it was more of a question
than a confession
one that had been dancing
on the tip of my tongue for days

"me too, babe."

you barely let the words out
before greedily filling my mouth
with yours once more.

it wasn't your agreement
that gave me my answer
but the way that you expertly avoided
uttering the words
i needed to hear back to me.

there is an endless poem
burning in my throat
scratching at my bones,
keeping me awake
like a lover of the night
and it is only ever
howling your name.