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Ryan Holden May 2017
As you tip toe
Through these leaves,
Crunches and snaps
Alert us of thieves,
Rummaging around
This narrowing night,
You popped up suddenly
You gave me a fright,
Silly little hedgehog
Appearing behind plants,
I feel a sudden warmth
I've soiled my pants.
Just a quick write I decided to make when a hedgehog appeared as I took the bins out haha! Just to clarify, I didn't soil my pants xD
Ryan Holden Apr 2017
Tell me picturesque,
Why do you look beautiful whilst you sleep?
Is it that my heart has fallen,
Deeper than the ocean,
Or is it that I'm scared,
That you'll soon wake up.
Scared to love is my interpretation.
Ryan Holden Jun 2017
Water is a mere
liquid yet it breaks even
The earth and mountains.

This shows that softness
Always overcomes hardness
Using persistence.
Ryan Holden Aug 2017
Hold my cold tainted
Soul with yours, your purity
Warms and cleanses mine.
Ryan Holden Dec 2017
Perhaps one day
the ink that I
d
r
i
p
Will form into a puddle
for you to jump into,
Only then will you know
Everything I write
is soaked in devotion
for you.
You're the reason I still write.
Ryan Holden Oct 2017
You don't have to be an eagle -
to see the white stallion in a field
of ponies - nor do I ever feel
like I was the person riding it,
like all of that power was mine -
to command.

But I was George Custer to your
finely edged arrow tips -
I was an easy target and I let myself
get beaten and bruised,
knocked from my mount -
Colliding with every single piece
of stone on the ground.

Cuts, scars, grazes, bruises -
But these stones do break bones,
and these sticks puncture my chest -
Yet this is a mere kiss on the cheek
to the words that cut me so, so deep.

I fell so hard into a bottomless pit
even the ocean hadn't explored
this washed out chest, praying to find
a person who's soul is just as kind.

Now I sit day by day - watching the stallion
in the fields, in all its glory, inside a story,
that I paint inside my proudest dreams -
getting just that little closer to what was,
I look forward to the days approaching -
for the day I get back on my stallion.

And to ride with you - in all of our glory -
inside our story - that we will paint
as we fade into the fields of our dreams.
A quick poem I wrote today. Just about how recent events and past few years has affected my confidence and I feel I can't give my whole self to people. But I see myself getting much more confident recently!
Ryan Holden Jun 2017
You are the brightest
Star in this galaxy of
Lost, faded wishes.
Ryan Holden Jan 2018
Lay amongst the stars
As your beauty shines before
my very own eyes
Ryan Holden Jun 2017
The morning to day,
Like a gift to make you stay,
I so like this way.
Ryan Holden Jun 2017
A fresh lick of paint
Is applied to these houses
That are so far and few
In between.

Just like deception
And lies that are covered
Up to steal another life force
For your benefit.

But you don't think I see
The transparency of your ways,
I've seen your type before
Succubus of stone hearts.

You reap and haunt
The dreams of innocence,
Men who are so happy
To be loved and to be whole.

But that's your favourite trick,
Once they're yours, you disappear,
As you siphon liquid gold
And purity from trapped souls.

Trapped in an endless cycle
Of doubt and hope,
But they still hold onto
The woman they once knew.

If that woman ever existed.
A poem about women who use men. I've seen this many times in my life and thought I'd give it a quick go!
Ryan Holden Jun 2017
https://soundcloud.com/ryancatullusholden/succubus-ryan-holden-rap-vocals-acoustic-rap-beat-by-freebeats
Okay so basically I've been writing lyrics for a few years. But recently, however, I decided I'd try rap and sing I've only been rapping 3 weeks and attempting singing this once for this song! This is one of my first attempts, I recorded it through my earphones and laptop so it's a live version so its rough. I wrote all the lyrics including the chorus. It's really deep, I wanted to keep it poetic though so I hope you all enjoy. Constructive criticism is all I'm looking for at the moment especially being so new. I promised I'd post it!
Ryan Holden Jun 2017
(Chorus/Hook)
I've tried so hard to find you,
I've seen empty roads and streets,
Empty sheets, and broken dreams,
love is not all that seems.

Fire or cold it seems whatever the weather,
We used fight for our love but we came to our tether,
But her blood is ice cold and I cant seem to shiver,
This pain inside my heart my blood flows like a river,
My hearts been crushed into a million pieces,
You were always my biggest flaw, biggest diseases,
I'm rummaging around trying to find the pieces,
of this soul, that you stole, whilst my heartbreak increases.
But you tore me in two, even when you knew,
I was trying to renew, as you tried to subdue,
The lies behind your eyes as love fades, love slowly dies,
so does her disguise, a succubus applies,
but she denies, all the love he feels inside but its no surprise,
cause she was a regular woman who drains and dries
Her soul, to reach her own goal then breaks up with guys,
But then he buys, her a diamond like shes won first prize.

(Chorus/Hook)
I've tried so hard to find you,
I've seen empty roads and streets,
(Growing and Hoping you see, no women stopping me)
Empty sheets, and broken dreams,
love is not all that seems.
(If you're weighed down break free or drown)

I think those back-trackers are all delusional,
you're losing your mind your becoming dysfunctional,
I'm hoping, I'm choking, I'm breaking down and I'm shaking,
while her heart is flaking, love from my bones I'm quaking,
in my shoes, like a puppet on string, a short wired fuse,
to trip me at any moment then abuse,
My kindness and goodwill to show people I always spill,
All my pain and love into one girl and it won't fulfill,
The persistent greed she has and the cold dampened chill,
Her life of torment and the ability to ****,
A singular man to stone with one look in her eyes,
But don't worry I'll be saying the final goodbyes,
So watch me as I walk out of your fiery frozen door,
but Don't ignore that my heart will recoup and restore,
To it's former fame and glory its an old untold story,
How my past relationship was really ******* stormy.

(Chorus)
I've tried so hard to find you,
I've seen empty roads and streets,
(Growing and Hoping you see, no women stopping me)
Empty sheets, and broken dreams,
love is not all that seems.
(If you're weighed down break free or drown)

Because she's dripping am slipping on the venom shes sprays
while I'm gripping and swinging these double edged blades,
wearing these shades to protect from the rays that she will blaze,
from her eyes its the only way that it seems to fade,
But you always pointed the finger at me like you knew,
that from the moment we both met it was gonna be you
the one who cut me in half and left me in two,
But I gained strength from within then I squashed down and drew,
A line through the page that messed with my sanity,
cos of confusion,  I couldn't catch gravity
in my fingertips avoiding pain and agony,
but just for the formality, i gave myself mortality
Just so I can outgrow the pain that weighs me down
But we'll leave this town and I'll turn it right around,
if illusions perceive me my mind stays incomplete,
if details were plain to see Intercepting your cold hearted feet.
I made my poem "Succubus" into a rap. I'll post the audio on here soon. I sing the chorus also :). I hope you like the lyrics anyway! (3rd verse to follow). I try use a play on words here :)
Ryan Holden Aug 2017
The doorstep we sat
Frantically eating ice cream,
before it melted

My sister would laugh
with her blonde fringe, big blue eyes
and round chubby cheeks.

Most simple image
Yet it captures a fragment
Of my purest soul.

One that dreams a dream
inside a wrapped up moment
For my heart only.
Oh, I remember the days like it was yesterday. In the summer sun with our ice creams
melting on the doorstep of my grandmas house! 4 Haiku's making 1 poem :)
Sun
Ryan Holden May 2017
Sun
Whilst sun rays beam,
on this longing cement,
Grass and nature perk,
leaning towards goals,
waiting for rain in drought,
As dry as deserts,
Like gunpowder to a musketeer,
Dry, explosive in heat,
Skin and fur are touched,
by her light feathery reach.

Soul and hearts enter zones,
of tranquility and peace,
Blackest of seas,
Appear as turquoise overtones,
Yearning over this land,
we call home,
When its truly her house,
of sanctuary, her humble abode,
Birds sing harmonic tunes,
through gaps in trees,
Minds are opened,
like gates to a throne,
Separated,
From a plethora of clouds,
That weigh us down like anvils.

Within our persona,
we expect greatness,
over uncontrollable forces,
But she grins and laughs,
like a sinister angel,
of giving and forgiving,
All the while,
Earth remains spinning,
She sustains extant,
And keeps us living.
Ryan Holden Jun 2017
Town hall bells ring
Vibrating my skin awake,
Birds whistle my ears into
The new harmonic day,
Grass-cutters chop my dreams
Short.

My dog licks my tired eyes open
Soaking them with love,
Fresh coffee tingles my senses
As caffeine runs through my veins,
Counting grains of sugar instead of
Counting my parking allowance.

Despite my lack of sleep,
Baggy eyes and aching bones,
I still miss my Sunday mornings
When even what seems like mayhem,
Is sweet tranquility.
Ryan Holden Dec 2017
Washed turquoise colors
Smudge the day sky, with amber
Clouds saying goodbye.
Ryan Holden Nov 2017
The clock strikes
Confession time in my ink,
where I lay my arms down
with my veins full for you to see
what runs through them.

I admit my mouth is no river -
But you know that
I can think of a hundred ways
To get you closer -
To let my mouth run snakes
through your mind.

But I could think of
A million ways to make you smile,
And I would always much rather
See you happy -
But I choose to fall into your eyes
rather your arms -
As I can't separate my dreams
From my own reality.

Each day in Autumn I fall,
And each winters snap -
I will be bitten by your wit,
Then as Spring rises like the blooms
In your smile,
I will wake to the most beautiful
Of sun rise.

Her heart with mine -
Because I can't pretend
Or give anymore hints
whilst I lay arms down,
Tell me I'm yours
Because like you
I'm scared
To fall
Too.
Ryan Holden Aug 2018
Baby kiss my lips,
Try not to taste the pain it
Leaves behind after.
Ryan Holden Apr 2018
Lips so tender she feels
Like velvet on fire,
Soft yet hot enough
To remind me she can hurt,
Just enough to remind me
‘Twas her inner core
I fell in love with
In the first place.
Ryan Holden Oct 2017
She was born to be the only
woman and saviour just for me
Taking twenty three years to see,
Me laid alone,
hand near my phone
waiting for her message
in a bottle of notes.

Just praying my dreams
were all that they seem,
As we intertwine,
Love bursts at the seams.

Capturing our souls as we fly
over the humid moonlit sky,
Being able to wave goodbye
at all the other times we tried.

For you to finally be mine -
In heart, and in mind,
With joy, and with time -
Because this ink comes from my soul,
my princess, my life,
Can you still not see
we were destined to rise and shine.
Ryan Holden Nov 2017
Between us we are
Divine chemistry - ready
to take a hearts cure.
Ryan Holden Aug 2018
You caught my eye, it
Happened to raise up with your
Gorgeous little smile.
Ryan Holden Oct 2017
It's not the fall that
breaks me, it's knowing I have
no arms to catch me.
Ryan Holden Jun 2017
I craft words
With imagery
Inside my head,
I weave and I write
As I go along,
Swarming my brain
Like a thousand bees,
The clock hand ticks
Quicker than mine,
So sometimes I run
Off the page and forget
What I was even thinking.
Just a quick write about how I often think of something as I'm writing and I'll forget another line! Haha.
Ryan Holden May 2017
A steamy room,
The mist will hide,
That of passion, and lust,
Heat adding to the sweat,
Already falling from your *******,
Because those enticing eyes,
Watching into my soul,
Tell me, you want me.
Ryan Holden Oct 2017
Once our lips collided
The ground beneath shook,
Unmeasurable richter scales
Never mind the after shock.

Tension gripped between our fingertips
As our hands clamped tightly shut
The vice grip pulled us closer in,
Pushing us up against one another,
As our hearts beat in one dreamy rythm.

Looking into each other's lost eyes
We looked down at each other's lips,
Seeing the moist on hers I licked my own,
But she caught my tongue on the way back.

Silks shed, losing strings between delicate
Sewing - still sharing our words through touch,
We both inhale sharply as we meet our passion
To fall in between the lights from the moon outside.
Ryan Holden Jun 2017
A little birdy told me, hearts and souls are mouldy,
Walk with me, talk with me on this journey of doubt,
You'll question people and you'll question the drought,
of honesty people lie about, because It's time to scout,
For people of kindness on earth,
From birth, I think I've been cursed
It gets worse, as I rap this verse,
I'm trying to explain how life can be complicated,
Because we're all intoxicated, muffled in fumes of disease and fleas that cling onto your skin,
Use the energy within, and repel them this is where your journey will begin,
I've been searching for a moment or a pin, point in time,
When these rhymes and lines will be classed as devine, as I perfect and refine,
I'm just wondering how many times I can assign the same rhyme, so all sit back with a glass of wine, whilst I intertwine every line, lyrics so evil I'm committing a crime, maybe I'll get a statue, maybe a shrine, I need to switch it up so let's all decline, but you'll remember this verse as one of a kind.

Whilst I'm standing still over this hill, I think of moments in life that gave me a thrill,
But I remembered the pain and I remember the chill,
Of the cold dampened hearts that never seemed to spill,
Love or affection, like it's protection they need during the question, should I mention, you never gave me attention,
Like the worlds in one convention and I'm stood outside looking in,
I grin, whilst I use these forces buried within, to show people in verse what I mean, before the planet isn't green, before the seas collapse and wind is no longer a breeze,
We freeze in an ice block, tick Tock, tick Tock we stopped the clock.

But no body hears me so everyone listen up,
Stop what you're doing and please raise a cup,
For stopping global warming and extinction of animals, because we're all valuables on this tiny spec of galaxies,
Yet governments plan strategies, to profit from the tragedies, they keep us all living in fantasies, but strike in catastrophes
So let's help our families and all become one, before we've got none and everything we love and everything we feel is gone,
Putting a bet on the apocalypse, odds are 10 to none,
So hold hands with me now let's rejoice in song!
Just some rap lyrics I wrote quickly last night. Drafts but as well as sharing poetry I like to share lyrics I write also. This one was a massive play on words and quick succession rhyming.
Ryan Holden May 2017
Dark clouds,
Pollution fills air with dust,
Melted paintwork,
Cars rust,
The world is cold,
Hearts, brains and souls,
Full of mould.

Innocent animals die,
Innocent children cry,
The peaceful natural world
We once lived in,
Is full of death,
Heart break and sin.

I struggle to find a kind person,
The more I try and help
The more it seems to worsen,
If you're in doubt
About the life you live
Put on a smile,
Ask more and give.

For the world a bitter place,
So pick yourself up
An exception to the human race,
When you wake up grin
Share the laughter,
Eventually you'll wish
You did after.

If you feel times are tough,
Go explore, see the world,
You haven't seen enough,
Meet new people, meet new friends,
And fall in love,
Before your soul is caught
In a star from above.

Small children in poor countries,
Don't have healthy water,
But families go out and buy
A new car for their daughter.

With the world always spinning
Throughout the years,
All you're doing is sat
Shedding tears,
Just sit for a moment
Open your eyes and ears
It's not all bad,
When you've got family,
Friends and beers.
My final version of this, one of my originals but thought I'd go back and finish it :D
Ryan Holden Oct 2017
Tip toe upstairs, creep
Into my bedroom and steal
My heart, thief at night.
Ryan Holden Jun 2017
I finely wear a suit just because
I want to be finely dressed,
Yet no matter how delicate
My skin,
I feel sharpness of the silk,
As it cuts me slowly
Like the insults you bare
From your balcony of power
I've been bruised and broken,
But these bones are shaking
Alongside my veins that bleed
Hope and transparency.

I've been kicked to the curb
more times than a football
Except I don't bounce off,
Because my heart isn't shaped
To survive the forces of evil
That walk amongst these walls,
Or people we call friends.

I still wear the finely made suit
Because I know if I take it off,
My skin will crumble and fall,
sometimes I live my life, In confines of fear
Other people bring when I don't fit
In this tailor made suit,
The only thing holding me together
Is sewmanship that my suit brings,
Or perhaps the mask I hide behind
When I try blend into this room
Full of people wearing suits.
A poem about being scared to let yourself be yourself. Living your lives In confines of fear.
Ryan Holden Aug 2017
The priminister
Of the tongue twister, mixture
Syllable whisker.
Ryan Holden Aug 2017
We were tricked by close hands
To find different dreams,
But we arose
From this sleeping curse,
Then found each others dreams
And our true loves kiss.
Ryan Holden May 2017
Keep me inside your purse,
On a Polaroid, For better or for worse,
Darlin' I asked for your heart
I'm sick of being lonely in dark,
In this cellar im trying to find
Why, is our love so blind,
When it's only you on my mind.

Loving can heal and repair your soul,
Loving is the one thing that I know,
It burns so bright,
Please stay another night
Easy baby take my hand,
Whilst we spiral we stand,
Chest on chest we take deep breaths
Spinning with our silhouettes.

These pictures are memories
that are painted within,
your heart and this empty
bottle of gin
match the love drunk moments,
whilst you're with him.

You know it can be hard
People make it sometimes,
Our eyes are always closing
But love will never be broken,
Time will stop still,
As long as you keep me
On that Polaroid picture,
Inside your purse to remember
We were meant to be together,
Forever.
A love song I wrote about lost love.
Ryan Holden Jan 2018
It seems that all of the actions
from people,
echo and speak much louder
than words do,
but the only problem is -
It seems to be pretty quiet,
doesn’t it?
In life you make your choices. Nobody makes them for you. Always stay positive - give 100%!
Ryan Holden Jun 2017
Pin me down with chains
Or else my inner passion
will eat you alive

Perfect hourglass,
Sand falls elegantly through
Those mystical curves.

Eyes like dark brown pearls,
Lighting up my impulses
Which are otiose.

I cant resist any
longer, I want to make art,
And us the picture
:)
Ryan Holden Jul 2017
Rest your lips on mine,
Take my breath, and inhale the
Vapours of my love.
Ryan Holden May 2017
Arising to your fascinating persona,
Sleeping to your colossal heart,
Gasping frantically, to reach the surface,
Trapped underneath the coldest ice, in the widest river,
Shivers down my spine,
Pins and needles through my heart,
Consuming me with fear,
Scared of the rapture,
Inner interrogation of mind,
Acquainting myself of new horizons,
But remaining lonesome and fearful,
Crumbling when in your presence,
Listen to my penance,
Would you be attuned,
To my vulnerable aching heart?
Scared to love again.
Ryan Holden Sep 2017
Wander around my
Mind, get lost and find my heart
So I won't forget.

What it felt like to
Lose your own ability
To control yourself
Ryan Holden Oct 2017
Even as I freeze.
I don't drop to my knees,
The cuts from the knives
The self inflicted disease,
The unspoken words
eyes filled with tears,
closed mind,
closed blinds,
closed ears.

But as the waking leaves
curl towards new light,
the blanket opens the horizon
like a million glorious stars,
glistening the dew on the leaves
of the grass over the hill.

His consciousness had awoken,
enlightened yet frightened by the past,
remembering the pain and resent.

But I can't do this just yet
I can't be broken,
I don't want to be hurt anymore
I have nothing to give,
but I have everything to give.

Only in time will I give you my all,
I'll fall, deeper than I've fallen before.

Like the precipice wasn't the problem -
just the sheer drop below, into an ocean
of love potions

To swim with the dolphins, and to rise above the surface of the solitude.

To be able to not drown in a sea of emotion
because your eyes alone are the ocean,
and I was just a wave skipping by.

I've found the trail I want to follow
and even if I tell myself I have nothing
to give,
I know I have every single piece to give
it's just,
I've only just collected the pieces.

So please,
if I give you my all
don't shatter me, it took too long
for me to rebuild myself.

The truth is,
I want to fall deeper than I've ever fallen
I want to dive into your eyes,
to get lost at sea,
to get a call from you,
For you to say you're missing me.
Ryan Holden May 2017
Glimpse of hope
Through those washed eyes,
As I envisage us surfing
The roughest of tides,
A million waves crash,
Heavily into my chest,
Because I'm afraid
I'll drown in a sea
Of emotion because
You're the ocean,
And I'm just a stone.
We
Ryan Holden Sep 2020
We
We turned,
We laughed,
We skipped,
We danced,
We broke,
We cared,
Again,
What’s that?
We felt,
We fell,
We feel,
We choke,
We found,
A spell
Again,
Come back.
It’s been a while. I hope you’re all safe and well.
Ryan Holden Nov 2017
Loose lips - loose we sit,
rain drops - love birds kiss
Spilling emotion
accidentally
with rain that drips,
Hands on your cheeks,
Hands on your hips,
We dance in the rain
We share all our pain,
We fall and we trip
We clutch and we slip,
into ones arms grip
Then just like that
all of the love
held in was spilt,
with just one tip.
Ryan Holden Nov 2017
I feel all of this love I can never reveal,
So I'll spill my soul in my ink -
Just for you to see what you mean to me.

I've told myself -
"What am I supposed to do"
When her eyes are filled with stars -
Her smile butterflies,
nearly knocking me over every
Single time -
And this dream I keep dreaming -
Where we live forever and always
The ages we are now.

We still go around differently
Every single time -
And that's the beauty of it,
You pinch me - I pinch you back,
But you always seem to win.

Only because I'm soft -
I call her "Marshmallow"
I say she has a "Great Wall Of China"
But ha,
Prowess tells me it's only "Berlin".

You see -
she's squishy on the inside
for those times I get
a mere glimpse into her heart -
Inside her soul that shines
So bright.

For she lifted me from the
Deepest depths -
Of my lowest self
Giving me strength
To take her with me
on my journey back up,
Only to flourish
Together - chasing both our dreams
no matter how bizarre,
No matter how far.

But

Every hand I throw
For her to catch and hold,
I chisel through nooks and crannies -
trying to find a weakness,
I make you whole -
You make me complete,
Yet no matter how hard I hit the wall
I can't knock it down,
I have merely
chipped my way into her heart.

But that's why "Berlin" is here,
Right?
To make sure I can't poke around
enough to let her see,
What she means to me.
Ryan Holden Aug 2017
Whisk me up into
Your arms, like you want to blend
Our souls together.
Ryan Holden Jun 2017
I just don't know what
To do, I'm haunted by the
Whispers of my past.
Ryan Holden May 2017
There's everything beautiful within you,
Not a single flaw,
Begging for love,
but shutting it down,
There's truly everything lonely within you,
But it's such tragic irony.

As soon as I can hold you,
Once again,
I won't let go I swear,
We can't leave us behind,
Anymore,
We've watched clocks turn,
Glared as days burn,
Trying to catch the ashes,
Between my elusive fingertips.

The hardest of catch,
Wanting competition but scared,
Of not matching expectation,
As I'm battered and bruised,
Broken in two,
And who the hell am I?
Not feeling like you're good enough for anyone.
Ryan Holden Jul 2017
If my words can't sway
Your mood to create a smile
Why lead me along
Ryan Holden Aug 2017
We can both become
Predator and prey to make
Beautiful nature.
Ryan Holden May 2017
Whilst you screech,
Through ships sails,
Like a thousand banshees,
Your icy, scarce warm touch,
Gives me shivers and sweats,
as you howl into spaces,
Destroying bark,
And concrete structures,
Underreckening,
Of her tactual sensation,
and power.
Just a quick poem about wind
Ryan Holden May 2017
Let's take a leap,
From this precipice,
Hoping that my wings,
Will guide our journey,
As we slowly glide,
Into our new beginning.
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