I gave in
They yell at me
They call me boney
They call me a anorexic
They tore my heart
But this toilet healed it
They knocked me down
They told me to die
They said I'm no good
But my mama tell me to eat more because honey you're getting smaller!
How can you stand tall when the world shuns you down?

Discovered pain
They try to rekindle
Two different lifestyles
Suburban and the hood
I never grew up like they did
Always had fancy cars and fancy houses
They paid five grand for there home
I saw them for the first time they were shocked
Oh how I sound stuck up
Oh my birthday is coming up
Oh what are you going to get me
They don't know me
They're using me for what I got
I'm better off without them

**** her
She's like a raisin in the sun
She's all dried up
Can't stand to look at her
All I see is her demon eyes
Can't stand to talk to her
All I hear is trash
Oh she's quite irrelevant at this point
But she did it on her on

Drowning my misery with some hennesey

He was looking at me
But I was looking at the waiter
He finally lose me
He was so egotistic
His ego got in between us
It sawed right in half of our bonded heart
Last night I left him
Last night I left him in the dark

I was so busy living in a fantasy
I forgot about reality
My fantasy felt so right
But once it was over reality came with no reguards
I feel so empty, because I'm not where I want to be
My family loves to say they're are here
But in reality there not
Sometimes I wish I can rewind life and start over
Everything will be different

Ever had love taken away from you?
Ever had breath but could not breathe?
Ever had fools take away something valuable to you?
Ever had something so big that was swiped away from you in an hour?
Ever felt so lonely that you felt like you didn't have anyone?
Ever miss the kisses and the warm embrace you've felt?
Ever miss the sunshine and you wake up to not see your love?

We starved together and we grind together, the most important part is we eat together. We eat together despite the situation, and despite the hardships. The hunger we felt at night was beyond our means, but we survived and we kicked it with each other. Success came to us overnight, and when I mean overnight it’s about 6-7 years but the thing is our poor moments seemed like it was yesterday. Seemed like yesterday I didn’t have food to eat or could partake in lobster and champagne. Don’t get me wrong though, I’m not to good to sit down and eat take out from the local Chinese spot. I’m just saying since I’m eating, my entire family will partake. Everybody eats!

I'm so used to getting used
I now offer myself
It's a sad thing
Very depressing
They say they need me
And I'm there
But when I need them
I never recieve an answer
I'm not the pillow you can flip over and use every night
I'm not the toothbrush you use everyday
I'm not the water that you drink
But I am me
And I should not be used like an everyday thing

She killed me mentally
The scaring of her words
Almost killed me physically
These cuts is a representation of all her words

Looked into his eyes
And it looked into my heart
The feeling that spread through my body was unrecongnizable
It was quite beautiful
A sight to behold

I only hope and desire for you
I only hope to find you as the other piece of my puzzle
I only want you to be my Clyde and I want to be your Bonnie
But I'm only young
So can I think about the future
Can I think about love
I just want to see progress
I don't know I just want to see love
But is that too much to ask for
Or is that just EZ love

Let me say this
Familiar feeling
Kindred Spirit
Soul lost
Soul gained
Butterflies
Blushed Cheeks
Warm heart
FAMILIAR FEELING

Stay with me
Is my love not enough?
Do you know that I love you
When I look in your eyes I feel new
You were my spring
You were the river i flowed with
You couldn’t live for me anymore though
I saw your last breath
I saw that you caused it
I felt everything you felt at that exact moment
Farewell

Had my first breakdown at 14
Felt like I didn't have emotions at 15
Had my first heart break at 16
Had my first betrayal at 17
Felt more powerful at 18

Your not just summer time fine baby
Your winter time fine
Your the fine of my dreams
Babe your just fine

Heavy rain
Cold winds
Chill bumps
Beautiful scene
Calming noises
Cozy toes
Lovely memories
Silent sleep
Relaxing vibes
Oh so sweet

There so called "flotsam"
I'm standing on millions now
Walking down the alley where I use to lay on the sidewalks
Saw the men who called me "flotsam"
But they didn't recognize me instead they complemented me on this Hermes apparel
I let them talked
Asked them where they work
They work for my company
I decided to leave
But before I left
I turned back around
I told them I'm the man that's so called "flotsam"
By the way you're fired

Flow so sickening
Haters always get infected
I'm up and away
They down and out
They cause arguments to be relevant
There irrelevance will never be relevant to I

Better off by myself
Broken heart
Love at first sight
Will **** you on second glance

Heart dismantled
But the words were sentimental
How can I glue the pieces together when I made them fall apart?

How can I get so wrapped up in something?
Why do I insist on my heart being broke?


It became painfully clear

I did it again
I let him back in
He's my Bestfriend
How can I tell him no?
Art is what brought us together
My paintings his graphics
For the love of art

You give them your ******* heart
For them to laugh it
For them to want more
But they can erase you out of there life in one second
Because they didn't care about you
They just want to empty your heart

The sooner I go
The sooner I know
I know it's time for me to go

Born on Mars
Raised up as a Scorpio Goddess
Destroying the demons in my path
Loving everyone who can be loved
Hating the ones who've betrayed me
Living on as a Goddess
An egyptian goddess who speaks words of life
A goddess

Am I not good enough?
Why don't you like me?
Is my poetry not good enough?
Is my words not good enough?
Is my world not good enough?
Am I not good enough?

The way the spring comes
It’s the way my soul is refreshed
Either it comes today or maybe next month
Maybe I will deal with the rain
Or maybe I won’t
But the spring is so refreshing

That invigorating feeling I have right now
That I can't stop
Stop painting
Stop writing
It's a sense of adrenaline
That was lost in an artist heart
Unkept but still groomed
Of an artist heart
My heart

Mentally dismantled
Spiritually a bundled
Cranium tasseled
Failed attainment
Craze by the crowds
Oh how I feel demised
Trained by the master
Hidden intellect
Chosen few has heard
Chosen few has experienced
Life changing words
Brain is so superb
Tongue twisters is a love spot for the genuis that is her
She is her
Her is me
Her is you
Her is us
Her is many
Many of the intellects
Many of the power holders
Many of the strong
Many of her

Oh babe! You're so beautiful" he said
Oh babe! Can I get some pictures" he said
Oh babe! Can I use your heart" he did
Oh babe! This is not going to work" he said
Oh babe! I crushed your heart" he did
Oh babe! I still love you" he said
Oh babe! *******" I said

He said he loved me
And I didn't know what to say
He said he loved me
And I looked blank in his face
He asked me if I loved him
But I don't know
I don't know how love is suppose to be
He said he loved me

Pain is inevitable
Bad thoughts are nothing of God
Depression happens because the devil wants to stop your happy thoughts
I can only trust God
No one loves like him
And I had to question if he's there
But when I was alone and by myself near to my death bed
No one was there but him
He brought me out of my pain and bettered me

Hate it when he's high
It's something that's missing from his life that cannot be replaced
I wanted him to get high off me
High off the movements of my body
High off the carressing words I speak
What do he need to know that I am his?

Hope you smoke away
Because all you do is smoke
I can't have you for a second
You're always high
I want you
I love you
But you ignore my feelings
For that last "high"
Tired of you saying you're done smoking
When you're not
But I'm done
I'm done with you
Have a nice life high
Once you get back to reality
You're going to realize that I'm gone and won't be coming back
But that's life
It's reality

When he holds me
When I'm mad
When he kisses my neck
When I'm as blush as the rose
When I lay and rub him
Because I love him

You say you hate me!
We'll **** I hate you to!
You yell "*******"!
I yell "get the **** out my way"
You say "I'm sorry"
I walk away
You pull me
I feel the hate
I try to run away
I blanked out
I wake up
Lying in a pool of blood
I wake up feeling defeated
I wake up and leave why you sleep
And I leave forever
Broken away broken hearted broken forever

look at me
tell me what you see
tell me what you see that i don't see
because i don't see a lot
do i look broken from the outside as i feel on the inside?
am i ugly on the outside as i feel on the inside?
can you tell me how to be happy?
can you help me get over depression?
can you just tell me what i need to know?

I sit here
And I feel so empty
I feel like I was emptied out
My thoughts are empty
Everything is empty
Empty
Empty
Empty
****

One thing I know
I'm going to live
I'm going to conquer
No I'm not giving up
They said always have a plan B
But my plan B is my plan A
I'm going to show them
That I can do it
I know I can
I've been through the hardest storms
But I'm here today
Because I know
I know I can do it
And you can to

The heart is in my art

Our minds are intertwined
He speak mentally into my mind
The love I have for him is indescribable
He's a beautiful man
I touch his smooth face and his beautiful mole
His raps goes along with my paintings
He's meant to be my husband
I'm meant to be his wife
I fell in love with an artist

It's a sweep of emotion
That flows through me so quickly
I can't hold back and control it
Once I start thinking
I think of the world
I think about me
My future
You
Death
Love
I think about the children who felt like me
I think of the children who feel like ****
I think of the children because they don't deserve it
All we need is love
And people claim money is love so they don't give a **** about the children
You selling an innocent soul to the devil
But the innocent soul just want to be a child
The innocent soul don't belong to you
The innocent soul belongs to love
To happiness
To peace
To beauty
To courage
To life
There own life
The beautiful,peaceful,courageous soul of a life.

Twisted fantasy of the bleak insanity

The cold tickled me
I tickled the wind with breath
I screamed from top of the hill
Invincible and unstoppable
Thinking to myself
Will I ever be invincible?
Will the world see me as I see me?
Do you?

I sit and think
Where will I be tommorow?
Will my dreams ever come true?
Do I have a soul mate?
Is my life worth living ?
Is love real?
Do you love me?
Who are my real friends?
How will I die?
Will I ever reach heaven and the stars?
I sit and think

Who's your father?
John Doe
Who's your father?
The government
Who's your mother?
Borderline personality disorder
What's wrong with your mother?
Sinful thoughts of the abused
Disorders and John Doe

It’s something I knew was mine
Something I desired
I knew from birth it was mines
I knew I had to grow into my kingdom
I knew the throne belonged to me
I knew that when men said no, I would laugh and say yes
I now know that this kingdom is mines