He reads me like a book
Every page he writes
I’m astonished every time
I hide in a maze
Confused of my time
Confused of details I have shown
And what I’ve shown not
Those of hidden disguise
He finds
And so I question what he knows
I treat it as fools gold
Because knowing me is not that easy
But yet still today
It’s easy to him…

Land of the wicked
Land of the famed
Land of the people that done called my name
Land of the grateful
Land of the kind
Land of the murderers who **** for a living
Land of the brave
Land of the free
Land of the corrupted cops who **** for a living
Land of America
Land of the wicked

You asked me what's wrong
When you're the problem
You hurt me and you knew it
How can I be so strong from intentional hurt? It's just not right
Then you ask me why I'm still mad because you said SORRY
Sorry! I hear it all the time
You are sorry
I'm done with you
How can I act the same way towards you when you hurt me where it hurts the most?
Why would you even?
I can't
I can't
And I'm done
I'm done
Done with the hurt
Done with the lies
Done with the sorry
Done with the betrayal
Baby I'm done with you

I lay here
Thinking
Poetically thinking
Thinking of words that can flow
Thinking of hard times and the good
Thinking of all the lies I've been told
Thinking of all the times I've been hurt
Thinking of all the times I had to walk past a casket
Thinking of all the times I've been in the hospital when I was a kid hoping you get better
Thinking of the time I walked home and found you dead
Thinking of all the times of watching law and order and I knew the signs
Thinking of the times we traveled
Thinking of your beautiful smile
Thinking of the story when you first held me in your arms
Thinking of the story about when you adopted me
Thinking of your kind heart
Thinking of us on how were intertwined
Thinking of all the love I have for you
I'm thinking on how much I thank you
Thinking of the day, I will reunite with you again in heaven and the stars.

Every word you say is
every lie you will tell
I'm quite tired of your words and lies
I'm quite tired of you

Your full of lies
Your the story of why I cry

People are fascinated by death
I am fascinated by life
Maybe people don't see death as I see it
I've seen it many time
I've felt it many times
I want to live
Live freely and enjoy every breath I have
Living in the realm of happiness

My words has a stinch, therefore it lingers
Lingers into your mind and continue to stay
Lingers until new words approach and blossoms
The lingering effect

Y'all ever feel hopeless sometimes
You're around so many people who don't believe in you
Can't see far enough to your dreams
Don't believe in your words or could understand it?
Y'all ever feel alone in a room full of people and feel better alone.
Sometimes I'm ready to go but I can't go just yet
If you're reading this, your reading how I've been feeling lately.
I haven't been writing because I feel uneasy, its just so hard to live your life pleasing others, and its very hard to express it
Anybody who's out there living for others, STOP NOW! And live for yourself

I broke off
I fell apart
I fixed myself

I laughed it off
I drove off
I left

I left the troubled world
I left the hard judgement
I left myself to find myself again

I discovered life
I discovered myself
But I'm not finished, I'm just on the first page trying to finish the book

Lost my Bestfriend
He moved on
I was left in the dark
Scratching the surface for more
Then I realized
He's not there for me anymore
So my self esteem went up
And look at me now

I want to look out and see you
I want to look out and smile
I want to hold your face
I want you
Ha, I can't
I can't see you
I can't see your smile
I can't hold your face

No ero love over here, no passion at all
Shame! Shame! Shame!
No ludus love over here, I'm very monagmous
No storge love over here, well then again we may have a little storge love going on
Pragma love, could be from both of us but would it really be love?
Mania love is all that we have, we go through the highs and we go through the lows when you're high
Agape love, no we don't have that , it would be lovely though

Give me love
Give me passion
Give me what I desire
My desire is you
Melting my soul...

They say love is real
It's a feeling that you can't describe
I never felt love
I've felt hate
I've felt the feeling
The feeling of pressure on your heart
I've tasted the salty tears from hate
I've felt the punches of hate
I've had the bruises from hate
But how does love feel?
Does it feel so good?
Will the feeling be stronger then the hate I've felt?
Will it?
What's the difference of love and hate?

What do I need?
What do I have?
Why do I need love at this moment?
Can I get someone to care for me just once in my life?
Can I get someone to take care of me now while I'm sick?
Will someone someday be my heart?
It's all I need
A dose of love

I fell like the rain on a stormy day
I dried back up when the sun shined again
Just to have a beautiful magnolia bloom once again

Let your money go
Doesn't declare the happy
Doesn't declare the sad
But it declares the greed
Declares of wanting more
Declares of sacrificing goods
Sacrificing every minute
Wanting more

Tick tock tick tock
If a tick and a tock was a motion
That’s the motion I feel with him
Up down up down
As time wraps around me every night
It caters to me
It calms me during the darkest of days
Somehow with time I feel invincible
I wake up to time everyday
Time touches me as it kisses my heart
These motions I want to last forever

I'm going to miss my pink and blue walls
I'm going to miss the squeaky noise
I'm going to miss the nosey neighbors
I was ready to get rid of the pain of emotions of this house
But tomorrow morning it's happening
I'm moving on to better
I cherished the past
But wow my future is so bright
Moving on to better things....

The armor of my heart
The light in my tunnel
The art on my canvas
The sway of my move
The rich of my riches
He was my brother
And I'm his keeper

His heart mimics mines
His hands are soft as mine
His beauty is desirable
His shell is hard but he's soft on the inside
He makes me laugh
He's always there for me

Here’s the thing
I fell for you
I fell for you before you fell for me
I was head over heels
My heart flutters with every beat you pump
I look at your face and I see my happiness
I touch your body and I feel your warmth
With you the before’s doesn’t matter
With you it feels like another lifetime

To you,
My love

Miles apart
But still connected by heart

Eyes like Medusa
Heart like Cassius
Strength like Hercules
Power like Zeus
Soul like Cleo

Butterflies fluttering around
Canoes moving slowly across the subtle waves
Kids laughing and gawking
Bugs flying
Ducks fighting
Families grilling
Couples holding hands
This is relaxation
This is nature

Never had a person look at me like I was there world.
Never had a person that genuinely cared.
Never had someone to pick me up when I was down and sick.
Never!
But when?

I’m getting older
In an multitude of ways
I can look at my yesterday and see so many things I thought I would have never seen
I fell in love again when I thought I didn’t have anymore love in me
I’m getting older
Maybe he’ll still love me as much as I love him
Im getting older

I remember one summer
I wanted to be like Donna Summer
I wanted to feel love
Like the year 1977

Everything I am is everything he was
Everything he is
Is everything I will be

You think you better than me
But you shouldn't
You think you richer than me
But you not
You think you're prettier than me
But I'm beautiful
You may have everything I want
But I got everything I need

All white today
Pure as snow
Clear as glass
Cool as mist
Mind is cold
Listen and you may be heard
Skin so golden
Smooth as Egyptian cotton

Purified by the water
Holy oil in the water
New life
New way
New thoughts
Pure soul
Beautiful life

Thinking of the **** you said
Thinking whether or not I should say *******
Not giving a **** about your feeling no more
Treating you like you treated me
Like ****
You ******* hit with low blows
Knowing **** we'll how sensitive this heart can be
You tell me you love me the next day
You said it was the beer
But **** didn't you say that the last time
******* and **** your **** man
I'm leaving and I'll be the queen that I am

Have you ever lost a parent?
And you said it should have been me.
But it wasn't you
I had to talk to them one last time
They said "I left you so you can finish your life, you can live happy and conquer your dreams, and I'll always be here when you need me, never forget that"

Trust me when I say this
I don’t know what redemption is
But I feel like I need to partake in such

I’m here to free myself from the words of failure that lingers
As my serene views become aligned with a life that I desire
Am I redeemed from my past?
Does the serene thoughts that I have overpower the ones that I thought won

****** your ears
Reduce the pain
Smooth words
Rough ending

They think I'm sick
I'm just addicted
Addicted to this life i have
I just need a friend
To help me and help me get stronger
No, I don't need rehab I need trust

It's a challenge
You either get them or not
Lucky if you get them
Out of luck if you didn't
8 am when they release
Running to see if you can reach
Stressing out months ahead
Wondering if you'll ever get them
Then it crashes
Then you're suddenly sad

Rest•oration
Make me over
A sense of renewal
A new
Being
It’s what I so desired
What I fought for

I’m sending roses...
I’m sending roses through my words to those lost ones...
Lost from the physical...
Lost from the spiritual...
My loved ones
Your loved ones
We will meet once again
-until next time

The layer that closed again
I was open then I fell into a trap
I was trapped by someone
I thought loyalty was all he knew but loyalty wasn’t nothing he knew
So I was exposed and my shell shattered so as I struggle to put the shell together
He’s lost without me because I was his angel I gave him the soul he had
But he left

The fact that I thought we was closer
The fact you didn't even tell me
The fact I had to come ask you
The fact that you didn't care to talk
The simple fact that I thought you knew I was always here
The simple fact

They bickered
They called me flotsam
They thought because i was homeless I didnt have the intellect to know
They called me flotsam
Am I worthless like they say
Am I debris to society
Realizing I can never think like that
Because if I did I would be dead
But I'm trying
I'm trying not to be that so called "flotsam"
Bet you I'm smarter then them
But my circumstances are inevitable
The sad life of a so called "flotsam"

How can I say sorry?
A million of tears
For just one forgiveness
Broken heart?
Can I mend it?

She stared blankly at me
Her beautiful bold eyes
Deep down she was in pain
She was rejected by society
Was she good enough?
Her big curly Afro
Her smooth face
The mark above her lip
She stared and I stared back
I wonder what she saw

Laying down listening to music
Wishing I had someone to love
Wishing I had one I need
Wishing someone want me to stay
Wishing someone would love me
Wishing I was wanted by you
I still need love because I'm a woman

It's a whole different story
About the glory I've been through

The story I thought I wrote
The story I thought was made was the story that never began
I became the person who forgot how to love
Because all the love was taken
Yet I still have a story to tell
But I can’t speak it
I can’t write it
I just can’t give you my story