Twisting turning through life sometimes seen through others eyes

Living in recovery, injuries that can't be seen, but felt so deeply, crushing my soul and deflating my heart.

Forgiving, feeling, thinking clearly, seeing light and its warmth touching every part.

To see you pains me like I was right at the start, thoughts creep in weaken me like fall leaves under a strong breeze.

I tell myself I'm better now far from those days when you had me on my knees begging and pleading like everything's my fault.

That's over now.

Consciousness sleeps in looking to the past, blinding now and removing tomorrow

Wake up break the mirrors that show the past

now it is the only place to truly live

Our love was an open book

It got dark and we lost our page

I really wanted to finish our story

I am different now
All has changed for me somehow
Cant see who I was

please let me lay by your side for hours that stretch into years, we can talk about thousands of nothings that make us comfortable so we can have a lifetime of somethings with meaning

A mystery to us all, we all have it or not enough of it
Always saving it, but there is nothing to be saved
We all spend it daily sometimes spent wrongly or too quickly

All time is the same, trade it for memories to last a lifetime

Time, the inbetween moments elapsed bringing you forward never back.
Love little overt victories everywhere open your heart to see them.
Life long individual forces ever changing into births and deaths of knowledge into and out of the abyss.

Do not judge me by my appearances; hard may be soft and happy may be sad. A rich heart may lie under a poor coat and bring you into a joy you could only imagine possible. A chance taken an oppertunity missed, a life lived or one saved for its end. We are where we put ourselves and where we allow ourselves to wonder. I love you alone, with a richness I must have found in a life I was saving

A small string of memory a connection to the soul still pulls at my heart

With each year that passes it recedes and reclaims space in my mind like the rise and fall of the tide

She left me to drown herself in tragedy and the tears of her childhood  looking for more of what broke her

We would've been a beautiful struggle a dysfunction to last a lifetime ironically I write about longing for what broke me.

We are the same

There is for every soul, a kiss to wait a lifetime for. It can happen in a mere moment, but it can last for an entire life...

I lay here and think to myself, the most beautiful words have been written, forgotten, and learned again.

People have kissed and loved deeply only to forget their devotion and feelings seperatly they live together.

She lives as a comfortable prisoner doing hard time in her past wishing away the present and forgetting the future.

We will all relearn these lessons so many times over dont make the past your future

Volumes of silence dampen a heavy heart and bear a weight of epic proportion measured on the scales of eaches, valued in the eye of the beholder.

Effortless perspective of future become tomorrows' yesterdays. Dreams of now and times to come shared are blurred in the muddy waters of misunderstanding.

An invisable thing touching so deeply as completely as to sap the strength of your soul and your willingness to be.

Is there peace in love lost when love is found again

It's not the same as the other was but just as real

The feelings are there but not like before

Did my heartbreak somehow break how I love

Did my heartbreak give me this cancer and lead me to my grave so soon

How can I love the one I do but still think of her so often

When you're told the end is soon and feel as if you have been spending your time like a child unconcerned with the world around.

I look to life lived and the things made and destroyed hearts and lives, lost and saved ran to ground

People discovered shared and loved all around some now and some then never really knowing if on the other side if you'll see them again

My heart crys of the past so broken memories seeing her face her smile reliving what was spent.

A warning to all you never know when it could be through when they discover something growing killing

Spend your time well because its key and I say I hope in the other side they'll see me.

Keep your heart soft even in hard times

Keep it well but give it often

Live like it is the key to happiness

Even thought it will get stained and mostly broken what is ha ing an untouched heart if it cant be shared

I closed my eyes and spoke to you in a thousand tiny ways.
I loved you so deeply your memory plagues me to this day.
I cant escape these thoughts of why we lost our way.
It was a certainty laid clearly the way it would be.
Then one day to my crushing heartbreak inside of we it was just me.
No words, no it been nice just a box with some things and the remains of my shredded heart.
You destroyed me and tore into my core.
My safe guarded places where I never let any before.
Diagnosed with not long to live, will I ever hear your sweet words or is that just a wish to give.

belief is the strongest emotion that can be  imagined. it rises above all others, it chases fear, crushes doubt, and removes sadness. The absence of it extinguishes love, blinds happiness, and erases joy.

stuborn is the sun rising and setting, bringing forward time whether it is welcome or not. a cautious word, don't be so empty as to live in an echoes range hearing the past talk to as if it were present. Don't be so full not to be able to swallow your own pride.  do not wait for the right time, it is unsavable, time.

Scars of the heart are the hardest to heal

Yet the greatest you can feel

To give yourself freely

To be released just as easily

In the magic of love discovered like treasure unearthed, she was a diamond amongst common stones.

Polished, cut by time and events, she had a unique sparkle, like nothing experienced.

Her shine became cloudy, as if the light no longer bounded through her.

A diamond no more, he was fooled by a stone that pretended, capturing his hopes but ultimately being just another rock.

it might as well have been thrown at him....

Love the light in the sky, moon on the clouds, the wind tickling your hair, the rain licking your skin. In a life being lived you have these things, whether you take them in or believe you are waiting, for the right time is now because time can not be saved

she is not a thing, she is her and I am me. Shedding things and growing me she was discovered. She was not lost but she certainly was not found. twisting turning life through other people's eyes we see ourselves. she is not a thing or a drug, but I want her I need to be with her have her with me together we can be. be happy, be hopeful, be nothing but together, six it would be, but four mostly. turns and twists, off and on, up and down. when I don't see her or hear her my puzzle misses a piece, incomplete

She was a match , My other half

She was also poison , The kind you cant get enough of

Her dysfunction mingled with mine in strange ways that broke us both

Twisting turning through life sometimes seen through others eyes

Living in recovery, injuries that can't be seen, but felt so deeply, crushing my soul and deflating my heart.

Forgiving, feeling, thinking clearly, seeing light and its warmth touching every part.

To see you pains me like I was right at the start, thoughts creep in weaken me like fall leaves under a strong breeze.

I tell myself I'm better now far from those days when you had me on my knees begging and pleading like everything's my fault.

That's over now.

She is a pain killer, she took me to the highest highs

Then abruptly she said shes through and left me to die

Now in a different time in my life, old me, new wife old thoughts creep into my life

I take painkillers but they dont help the pain in my heart

I wish I knew she was a pain killer from the start... but I'd probably still follishly give her my heart

What is real but now

What was real is not anymore

Chasing ghosts is pain

Love the light in the sky, moon on the clouds, the wind tickling your hair, the rain licking your skin. In a life being lived you have these things, whether you take them in or believe you are waiting, for the right time is now because time can not be saved.

Happy was a life
Intensely lived for a time
Changed to the end

At times she had confidence and at times she felt as if she was a scrap of something used up

She felt herself to be unique not replicated alone in her problems

Although she had the power to break sadness in her words, a look or a touch

Ruin things with her smile like an artist ruins blank canvas with beautiful scenes

But in her silent struggles it became to much, she was consumed by her past

locking away her heart, and only letting it out for small moments in time.

I was captured by this girl like a ship crashed on rocks finding her in one of those rare times

She was my match, my soulmate, my truest love

Still today I miss her scares on my heart to my very soul, it will never be the same, three years later a new life in time. My heart crys to hear her name. 14364 is the number of love

Her life was a play

Comedy or tragedy

I could never say

I was worn like canyon walls shaped from generations of weather, just a shadow of what i once was
All I had was hope like the faintest of faint light distant stars provide on a moonless night
To me she was bold like how the dawn breaks though a dark sky.
We were suns burning brightly together Hope's of a life a family
She extinguished the light and dashed my dreams with her scared past and disfunction
Like a poison she had infected me to my core.
Two years later bad new not long to live I'm dying and I never got to tell her what she was to me.

Cancer killing me

Cutting me out of myself

Shake the dice of life

You know you had the one, She tamed your soul

You could speak in thousands of silent ways

She could find you in those small moments in between

She moved you without taking a step

She was a road to love and would have been home

Now we have lost our way

She was my everything until she said I ment nothing to her
Like a passage in a dream remembered
Being that the best are forgotten and relearned like lessons from our past

She had scared my heart and that will last
Shes a stranger to me now just as she wanted it
Like an old book urning to be read but forbidden to be opened
Lonely thoughts of an emptied heart are all that's left
How sad is it to be broken and not repaired

Does she hear my cries

So far from our happy times

I still miss her touch

she had the power to break the seas in half or my heart completely. She would say she was broken. Really she was completely what I saw in my heart. Her fuse burnt quick in a path straight to the flame in my soul which could not be undone. she is the wind on a still night invisible only to herself, but touching everything completely

Love is a lifetime of examples of how we can overcome our fears, worries, and doubts

invisible but can be seen

Intangible but can be felt

And inaudible but you know it when you hear it.

At times it can seem to be extinct, and at others make you as euphoric,

In the end it is we who choose to let it see, feel, and hear our love, push it away, or accept it.

I lay here and think to myself

the most beautiful words have been written forgotten and learned again

Whispered through time to embrace the moment for a thing that is not a thing; love

I've got nothing to write

She took my words like she took my heart

Left my things on the porch and moved on to new problems

in the maze of your soul I discovered the center was a beautiful garden, wild, unrulely and begging to bloom in the light of another. I have fallen in love with it and am happily lost there for eternity.

Realizing my time is short but my love is deeply engaged, in owning only sadness will be made.
The eternal struggle, my love was real, to her it was fun, a folly not to keep and feel.
When I am not present draw her near, I've come to the conclusion of my time here.

if you show me your soul hidden deep inside I will admire it. show me the worst parts, the broken pieces... so I will know where to start. show me the most damaged parts and I will show you they are still lovable and more valuable than gold.

She torments my passed

From my memories somehow

Why does heartbreak last

When I met her they was not obvious

As we grew closer she showed me

Her scars, each one had a unique story of disappointment, pain, or fear.

She hid them in the tiny minutes between happiness and everything else

They spoke silently but couldn't be ignored, the unseen damage inflicted from the past felt today

I tried my best to sooth the pain,  heal those scars, with all my heart

But I was too late, they over took her and now we are forever apart.

Two years and 17 days ago we had our final words. She struck me down like lightening directly to my soul.

She was found in a strange place by chance but matched my soul like I had never felt before.

My other half complete I felt, but I didn't know she was a mirror, matching my moves, playing a game.

Just the same in the end it hurt to hear her name. I had drank love's elixir deeply and been only seeing a reflection.
In love to my soul those are my recollections

Confusion today
For heartbreak from yesterday
Makes for a hard time

Sometimes memories wear a sore spot onto my heart