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236 · Apr 21
Blood On A Marble Floor
Emery Feine Apr 21
This gold bar will oxidize more
Rusting onto my hand
There is blood on this marble floor
Stained glass windows are only sand

There is a crown split in four
There are holes in the door
And this is the life you call luxury?

You made these diamonds with chemicals
And try to bribe me with emeralds
But I will not let them touch me

What turns to ash?
What turns to fame?
What is cash?
What is a name?

Our lights are as bright as gold
Twinkling stars over my head
They turn green, turn to mold
I turn to hope instead
av il ylivyu, fvb tbza mpyza yva
234 · Sep 2024
One Such Bird
Emery Feine Sep 2024
She rustles her feathers, fluttering as she twists and tethers.

Three white dots on her tail, wings with bravery that will never fail.

Perched on a high branch to hide from us below; is she really scared, or is it because it's all she know?

With chirps harmonically right, I wonder if they continue throughout the night

With black, beady eyes she views us all, wondering if it's an illusion when she stands tall

She was little once, like we all were. I wonder how much she's had to endure?

But now she is silent, gone, ran from fear, going anywhere to escape from here.

We humans have given her nothing but a scare. How, I wonder, how can this be fair?
this is my 31st poem, written on 9/29/23. still isn't even gramatically right I hate it so much ***
Emery Feine Sep 2024
I've lived my life in a stagnant position
And I've eternally remained in one place
I've run from all my problems
Never once looked Death in the face

How can I see the whole world
If I'm afraid of taking one step on earth?
Maybe if I throw away this feeling of safety
Then I'll finally feel some mirth

I've wanted so many more opportunities
But when faced with a problem I just twist and weave
I'll never be able to move on and live life
If at first I don't leave
this is my 79th poem, written on 2/4/24
220 · Apr 21
“Dangerous”
Emery Feine Apr 21
There’s maggots in my eye
Bugs where I lie
And dirt suffocating my heart

What once was beating and red
Is now decaying and dead
And you say it was all my part

Is everything I’ve ever done
Withering the golden sun
Is it all my fault?

I’m not perfect, though I should
Don’t you know I’m no good?

You tell me you care
That you’ll always be there
No matter where
When or how
My heart is a thumping drum
You make it the snare
Anger and a flare
Touch it, but you dare
When, now?

They blamed it all on me
And so if that’s what they want me to be
Sweet, they know I never could
So “dangerous” is what I’ll be
you dont get it, you just dont get it
217 · Sep 2024
A Human Stargazing
Emery Feine Sep 2024
I remember being the favorite of the family
I remember getting all the praise
Now a new person is getting the attention, not me
It is now the end of those moments, my days

I used to sit at the head of the table
Now there's another girl sitting there
When was it suddenly the end of my childhood fable?
When did this become fair?

She gets help from her family now
While I'm only someone to poke fun at
And I still love her anyhow
But I don't want my situation to just be that, "that is that!"

So I'm watching from a distance, a new star
Giving her my light, which I got when I was young
And I'll give her the notes to a new melody
Dissatisfied from my childhood song being finished sung.
this is my 55th poem, written on 11/25/23.
217 · Oct 2024
A Forever Half-Empty Glass
Emery Feine Oct 2024
With one goal accomplished, another will arise
Repeating into an endless cycle until my own demise
I've worked so hard to get what I now have got
Yet all my experiments don't have a conclusion, or final thought
I've had people copy me with their navy blue bluff
But with everything I've learned, it still isn't enough
this is my 87th poem, written on 3/19/24
213 · Sep 2024
Your Spotlight
Emery Feine Sep 2024
Years of being ignored, seen as a no one
As I watch you and your friends always have fun

Why must you get all the spotlight?
Why must I still give more, even with all my might?

Constant yelling is all I’ve heard
Being seen with me in public is absurd

I’m always discarded, just an outcast
Now, all those times will be my last

She saw me as human, didn’t ignore me
Now, how long till you also see?

I want to share that spotlight with you
If only you allow me to

I also deserve the friends you’ve bonded with
I won’t make this just a myth

Does this mean I’m a bad person?
Does this mean my jealousy has worsened?

Now you and your band begin to sing
But I’ll no longer be watching from the wing
this is my 16th poem, created on 7/2/23
200 · Sep 2024
Wind
Emery Feine Sep 2024
A bird sat on a ledge, calling for air,
“Please, give me merely a share!”

A breeze came and lifted the bird off the ground
The breeze ruffling the bird’s feathers was the only sound

Every day, the bird decided to sit and wait
The bird was drawn to the wind, perhaps even fate

The wind always listened when the world did not
The bird had found something it had always sought

Then one day, dark clouds came and rain poured down
And the wind lunged forwards, without even a frown

At last, the bird saw the wind’s true power
The bird wanted to hide, but the wind didn’t let it cower

The wind ruffled the bird’s feathers as it had done in the past
The bird took off, flying ever so fast

Then the storm passed; the rain was gone
The bird looked at the sun from the ledge it was on

“Wind, let me once again soar!”
But the wind replied no more.
This is my 9th poem, written on 1/15/23
186 · Oct 2024
Potential
Emery Feine Oct 2024
I wish to go far in life, but I fear that if I try my hardest, they will see how much potential I lack.
Htwc ewnh hm a vmjhgnw hwppwj hm xwhwjosnw oc psvw. S emgpx zw igyywiivgp. Wfwjcmnw iaci htah. S espp zw vaomgi. S yannmh igyywwx esht app mv cmg. Mnpc ow. (A)
184 · Sep 2024
Fate
Emery Feine Sep 2024
No matter how many times I say our problems can mend
Fate will never let me call you a friend
I told you that loving him would only make you cry
But you didn't listen and kept wanting to try
You put salt in the wound when I bled for you
You gave nothing back when I cared for you
But when I think about you, why do I still care?
When will I find love that's finally fair?
All I wanted was for you to have a life of fun
But like Icarus, I must've flown too close to the sun
Then why did you say you love me?
If I am blind, when could you see so clearly?
I had to comfort you every single day
And in return you make me feel this way?
And I knew I was rereading the same chapter of a book
I was in a trance by that one quick look
I thought you could be the one true friend
But I know how it was going to end
I love you so much more than you think
Even though in the depths of your waters, I'll only sink
I love you, but I hate you so
Now even I don't know if I should go
You'd make my heart beat a little faster
But I don't know if it's love anymore
So if I tried to say "I love you,"
You wouldn't say "you love me more."
this is my 22nd poem, written on 8/21/23. yeah I should've left this guy frfr
183 · Sep 2024
Bird in a Cage
Emery Feine Sep 2024
A bird flying so far away
Admiring every glimpse of day

From the fish in the sea to the trees that stand tall
The free, flying bird admired it all

Then a blast came from two hunters below
She fell to the ground, covered in snow

The humans took her far from her place
Where there was no glimpse of the tree’s grace

Trapped in a cage she sat all day
Wondering when she would again fly far, far away

But her wing was hurt, and couldn’t fly
So she yelled and sobbed and started to cry

But the humans ignored her and walked away,
Opened a door and she saw a glimpse of day

It was her past, where she longed most to go
She was much to weak to attempt to go, so

She sat still, admiring the glimpse of day
And peace, but could no longer fly far, far away
This was the 5th poem I’ve ever written, created on 12/7/22
179 · Oct 2024
Wading with Whales
Emery Feine Oct 2024
After a dark, gloomy period
The days whipped on by
It was sooner that I thought that
Someone new has caught my eye

He's like a fire, one to admire, so much better than me
I went up to the clouds because I swear he was sent down from above
I waded with the whales to get to his island of love

I swear he is funny and extremely smart
I fear the day that we might be apart

I'm scared to love him
And I'm scared to not
I can't even form a normal thought

There's no need for imagining
Because us two, we'll do everything

I waited for love to catch up to me
Turns out, it's already here
this is my 94th poem, written on 4/26/24. yeah this guy ******
174 · Sep 2024
I Wish
Emery Feine Sep 2024
For once I wish to be the stars, not the viewer.
For once I wish to be a goal, not the pursuer.
For once I wish to be the masterpiece, not the painter.
For once I wish to be the colors that age, never fainter.
For once I wish to be the ocean, not the one swimming in it.
For once I wish to be a nomad, rather than having to sit.
For once I wish to be knowledge itself, rather than having to learn it.
But the thing I wish most of all is the be the poem, rather than the poet.
this is my 49th poem, written on 11/18/23.
174 · Sep 2024
A Monster
Emery Feine Sep 2024
One day, while getting ready, I looked in the mirror
And I saw my legs blow up to twice their size
So I quickly left to change my ripped pants
Wiping away the tears in my eyes

And the next day I returned to this mirror
And my face had a dark shade of red
So I shut all of the windows in my house
And hid under the covers of my bed

And whenever I went out in public
I could swear everyone was looking at me
And I knew I wasn't human anymore
For a monster was all they could see

So I kept my head down
Throwing piles of unfitting clothes on the floor
I would probably grow monster-like tentacles for my arms
Or monster-like claws to scratch all the doors

Then I couldn't stand the sight of me
So I shut off all the lights and shut out the sound
But I could still see about one hundred reflections of myself
In the shattered mirror on the ground.
this is my 59th poem, written on 12/1/23
166 · May 10
Black Hole
Emery Feine May 10
i am so tired of being yelled at
im tired of the screaming
im tired of the lying
im tired of the whining

i am in a black hole
and you take more and more
and you bend the sound
and you take my time
you have taken the one thing i cannot bring back
160 · Jun 17
by fall i must leave
Emery Feine Jun 17
growing and fall is all i do
stuck to the branch of this tree
i sway in the summer breeze
but by fall i have to leave

always arriving, always leaving
swaying in the summer breeze
i want to hold on for a bit longer,
but by fall i must leave

i yearn for an eternal summer
i yearn for winds like these
my whole life an act of letting go
because by fall i must leave
but why would the dreams of something so small, like a leaf, be fulfilled?
156 · Sep 2024
Hate My Heart
Emery Feine Sep 2024
If I was someone else, you would've loved me
That's what you told me this morning
And it's my fault we couldn't be
And I fell for you without warning
You said you'd want me
That's all I crave for now
My bad I couldn't see
I was blinded by you somehow
So maybe if I was born before you
My heart wouldn't break
No one will love you as much as I do
How much more can I take?
this was my 28th poem, written on 9/4/23. can I shut up about this guy already
112 · May 17
I Should Be Angry
Emery Feine May 17
You make me into something I’m not
You spread lies and misjudge me
I want to be angry
I know I deserve to be

You tell me the same thing
You try to change my mind
But I know what I want
And I know you’re not kind

And I know you’re reading this, Mia
And you know this isn’t about you
This isn’t about anyone in particular
But you should be angry too
if we hold onto hope, we’ll have our happy ending
78 · May 10
Ship of Theseus
Emery Feine May 10
if i changed every part of me
one at a time
could i even love me as a whole?
if i replaced every part of me
one by one
would i even be the same?

i am the ship of theseus
never the same, never different
i do not know who or what i am anymore

so i try to fit in
i try to believe in some higher being
something to explain
why i feel this way

and if i replace every part of me
for you
for me
for some divine being
i’ll replace my mind as well

and maybe then i wont act this way
maybe then i wont think this way
maybe then i wont feel this way
and i wont remember who i used to be
because was i ever truly someone
if i replaced every part of me?

would i ever truly feel comfortable in my own skin
if it was no longer mine?
i could do a lot worse
58 · Jun 17
Love Exists
Emery Feine Jun 17
hope flowing through my veins
eroding rocks, the light being freed
roots that once twisted, now cut from me
i know love exists; it is inside of me
maybe things will start to get better
32 · Jun 2
dog, leashed
Emery Feine Jun 2
dog leashed, tied onto a pitch-black pole
woven to the pillar, like you're woven to my soul

every thought about you pours acid in my heart
and i cough out the rest like blood
one day i'm scavenging for water, a paranoid dart
the next i'm drowning in a hot-pink flood

i saw you in the window of that small local store
after becoming a regular, the door wouldn't open anymore
but you looked so pretty when you were so far away
and for some reason i come back every day

but it was so good at first
you made me finally believe
that someone out there could love someone like me

and i told you what i did wrong
and you said you didn't care
but i must've mistaken that love was in the air

i try to talk to you
i try to understand
but every word i say to you
you repeat back, just bland

and you blame it on me?
you say i'm the confusing one
so i chase and chase, give and give
you never let me take some

it's my mistake i put love first
my mistake i wasn't rational
my mistake that when you said you liked me
i somehow didn't think it was casual

i'm a dog waiting at your door
saliva puddle on your wooden floor
i wait for you to come back
like i'm tied to a pole, pitch-black

my hunger has been satiated now
i open my eyes for the sixth time
this has gone much longer than i can allow
you're making me run out of rhyme
i guess it was my mistake that even then, even now
i somehow thought you would be mine.
the world is so big so big so big. i need to feel a meaning and productiveness in my life. (S.P.)
19 · Jun 17
mi sangre
Emery Feine Jun 17
mantienes mi mente activa
tu elevaste a mis penas
me mantienes viva
eres el sangre que corre por mis venas
who knew that I could be so close to something so far
Emery Feine Jun 17
is it so much to ask
to love me like you're breathing
unlike a chore
love me like you're alive
I know they'll find me one day
0 · Jun 17
It Wasn't Mine
Emery Feine Jun 17
I was sinking to the bottom of the ocean
I hoped you hadn't pushed me
I looked at you with tears in my eyes
I hoped you didn't see

I was waiting for you
Waiting for you to return
I was waiting for you to call
I hope one day I'll learn

I saw you choose your friends over me
But did I cross the line?
And I saw blood on your hands
I just hoped it wasn't mine
death to the lover that you were dreaming of
0 · Jun 17
She Had You
Emery Feine Jun 17
she wore that dress for you tonight
she played that song for you
she had only you in her sight
she thought she had you

when the morning light woke her
she imagined it was you
when you gone and left her
she thought she had you

she wanted to put in the effort
she didn't know about you
kicked her in the mud, the dirt
while she thought she had you

and she finally believed for once
she believed in you
you must've not known that
she thought she had you
and she always ran away, expect when it came to you
0 · May 27
rotten
Emery Feine May 27
i was born and on fire. my skin, open flesh words that bled onto anyone in a close vicinity. my face, a cloud of black dust. i knew that i had love in my heart to share with the world, but no one could see past the mold on my skin that would spread to them if they got too close. i was born into two things: a fruit that appeared ripe on the outside but leaked out a decayed, rotten mess, and the hands that opened said fruit with blood that held on. i watch the destruction i've made, that i didn't mean to make, but i believed that it was justified. i wait for someone to understand these words, not to pity me, but to find a part of themselves in me. i have found nobody. i fear that as of now, i am a walking, moldy model of decaying flesh and raw meat. i did not want to be this way. i did not want to be the black sheep. i did not want to be bad. i am a sculpture of wet clay that they could mold with their pure hands, and despite all that creativity in their alive and well minds, they have carved the word "rotten" in my flesh.

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7 a to h
Emery Feine Jun 17
One week since you've gone
Day by day I yearn
I wait for your return
Am and night, I sit silently
Gonna be there a bit longer
Grow as a person eventually, but
Wings take time to create
disappoint synonym
0 · Jun 17
A Light Only He Had
Emery Feine Jun 17
he had this light in his eyes.
i never thought i would see “home” so vividly
until i looked into those eyes
those sweet brown eyes
filled with light.

i look into your eyes now
searching for the light he had
and i see nothing

i ask you thousands of questions
to understand you
like i understood him-
or so i thought i did-
but you say nothing

you make me smile
but not laugh like he did
volcanic eruptions of pure bliss
now valleys of yearning

i fear i’ve gone too far
and i can’t go back to him
what would he say anyways?
he still wouldn’t want me
though i was so sure he did

and you’re smiling at me
and you’re complimenting me
but i’m looking right past you
trying to see if i can see him
through the crowds and swarms of people

you look at me, and i smile back
but i’m staring into your deep brown eyes
searching for a light
that only he had
did i cross the line?
0 · May 27
A.I.W.I.W.O.Y
Emery Feine May 27
Will you ever let me love you?
My angel arrow, my fire fuel
Will you ever love me?
Was I such a fool?

You look into my eyes
You see a blinding light
I look into your eyes
I see a pitch-black night

Unrequited, allocated to your hundreds of friends
Obsessive, impressive; your love just pretends
I wait for this fate that brings you back to me
And I wait almost eternally

You build me up; you bring me down
And you somehow blame it on me?
I've made the door and its lock
And yet you've thrown away the key

But I'm alright, I'm okay
I sit on these steps and wait for you
But I'm obsessive, I'm crazy
And I wish it wasn't over you
silver springs
Emery Feine Jun 17
you left specks of gold on my skin
you expected me to sell them
but instead I admired their glow
as they sparkled at night
but now that is all of you that remains

— The End —