In the whole time I experienced you

It all comes down to this main truth

Fourteen-year-old girls

Should not feel the hell

That comes from getting in that car

Driven by that older man

Who knew better than to let it get that far


So then years later,

That girl can hate

Every single man

Who didn’t treat her right


It’s a painful sight

A beautiful woman,

Losing her pride

After accepting that ride

It was the biggest mistake of her life.



Let’s talk about the truth

I meant little if nothing to you


That was back then

But now

To me, you’re just a memory

I barely reminisce

To you, I don’t even exist



Let’s face the facts head on

The only reason that I haven’t

Cut your memory completely off


Is because

Some mistakes are just so huge

And my epic life mistake was you

You’re in a microscopic part of my mind

So I remember. Not. To. Repeat. You.



And to teach my future daughters

As well as women of today

To accept nothing less but kindness and love

As the only way



So if you must open his car door

At least enter guarded

At least enter strong

Wear your pride wherever you stride

And remember you are a woman…



So, you can never be wrong.

I won't say goodbye to you
Because I can't

You are part of my chemical make up

We are eternally bonded

I won't say goodbye to you

Instead I will make room for you

I am not ashamed of you

I won't let the stigma win

Bipolar, come and take a seat

We might as well be friends

Stop does not mean stop.
Stop means that I'll pretend I didn't hear it.

No does not mean no.
No means that I will have to make you say yes.

Accountability means I will hide all the evidence, conveniently leaving out anything incriminating

Stop does not mean stop.
It is a guideline for how far I will go.

her fingers traced
indistinguishable shapes
along my skin
leaving a lingering imprint
an exotic imprint of forbidden love
an imprint for me to remember
when my body is in his arms

her fingers held my once chained body
i find myself sobbing
from the pure intensity
it is downright terrifying
how much this woman affects me

her fingers traced
invisible shapes
along my skin
this is a fleeting affair
though it means the world to me

Keys between my knuckles
As I hurry to my car
This place still aint safe
At least not after dark

I've been female for thirty one years
My *** is abundantly clear
When I cannot walk outside at night
Without my friend called Fear

Keys between my knuckles
Pepper spray clutched in my hand
What can I say to these Testosterone Tyrants
To make them understand?

This place is still not equal
When half of us are afraid
I want to stay up late
Walk the streets and know I'm safe

Boys will be boys
They will rarely be men
The protectors became predators
It's a hard truth to accept

Keys between my knuckles
As I hurry to my car
This world is still not safe yet
At least not for us

She is dressed in black with eyes so sad
The funeral procession is marching

She has so many regrets but she cannot go back
The finality is startling

The coffin is laden with poetry and roses
Symbolising romantic connection

She will remember this after he decomposes
This morbidly touching expression

They didn't want to say goodbye
Death didn't give them a choice
She remembers on the day he died
His soft and gentle voice
Do not fret and do not cry
I've loved you and thats enough
It is time to say goodbye
Life was good for I had your love

She is dressed in blue in high heeled shoes
On her first date in three years

His eyes, a brown hue gives her a sense of de ja vu
The reason for this is not quite clear

She feels a trace of shame everytime she says his name
While her wedding ring still sits on her dresser

Yet she can hear her husband's words within a memory preserved
That he'll support her on her every endeavour

She didn't want to move on
He didn't give her a choice
She remembers on the day he died
His soft and gentle voice
Remember to continue smiling
Remember to love again
Long after I leave this life
We will still be friends

She is dressed in white on a warm day in July
The brown eyed man is telling her his vows

It is at this time that she comes to realise
Why his eyes are so familar somehow

They are the exact same shade that got her carried away
By a different man so many years ago

As the groom kisses the bride any remaining grief subsides
Pure joy replacing the dark sorrow

They didn't want to say goodbye
Death didn't give her a choice
She remembers on the day he died
His soft and gentle voice
One day all your grief will end
One day your broken heart will mend
It is time to say goodbye
Until we meet again

You begged me to stay
So I stayed

You begged me to change
So I changed

You begged me to smile
So I smiled

If I beg you to die
Will you die?

I will always accept you
Unless you are different

I will always help you
Unless I'm busy helping myself

I will always find you beautiful
Unless you grow old

I will always love you
As long as you do what you're told

Conditions will always apply
A sober fact of life

If I had been born with a *****
I wonder how I would have used it
Would I have wielded my power?
Would I have identified as an alpha?

Would I be gentle or a brute?
Would I love or abuse?
Would I have been the enemy?
Or would I simply have been me?

take this snow white daisy chain
a handmade token of my faith
my faith in love
my faith in love
take this and please don't give up

He walks with disgusting confidence
Confidence that ventures into arrogance
Arrogance dancing so ugly
Arrogance worn like a costume
A costume he always wears
He thinks he is a gift
A gift sent from heaven
I count all the way up to seven
Before I disappear

Some people throw treasure in the trash
It's easy to do that when you don't know what you have
You were a treasure yet I threw you in the trash

I listen to Ani DiFranco  
When I want to be inspired
She fills my tortured soul
With lyrical fire

I listen to Ani DiFranco
When I want to hear wisdom
Any given song
Is a musical politics lesson

I listen to Ani DiFranco
When I want to be inspired
She fills my poetic soul
With lyrical fire

I told her that I am not ready
I am not ready for the world to know
This closet might be limited but I am safe inside it

She got angry
She got impatient
In the end she could not take it

I tried to say that it was not about her
I tried to explain that she was my 8th wonder

I do have pride even though I hide
I am just not ready to say that I am bi

i dreamt of you last night
you of little existence
your tiny body moved within me
an umbilicus of desperate hope
a miracle of revelation
i dreamt of you last night

i pray it was a premonition

i am not ashamed of my failures
i use them to paint beauty from the ashes
each failure was a place of learning
each failure is a sign of growth
there is beauty in every single failure
they help me paint a picture from the ashes
they help me paint a picture of hope

Four walls of insanity
Keep me boxed in
I used to think I was safe
Now I only wish to escape
The box is my home
Inside it I am alone
Four walls of insanity
Keep me boxed in

I am not perfect
I am an imperfect mess
These flaws make me, me

I am not perfect
I will never try to be
Perfect is a lie

I am not perfect
I love my imperfections
Who wants to be perfect?

I cannot apologise for my G cup ******* and touching thighs

I cannot apologise for my mental illness diagnosis and my broken promises

I cannot apologise for wanting to commit suicide
You would too if you lived my life

I cannot apologise for my G cup ******* and touching thighs

Let me make just one thing clear
You will find no apology here

She is a fearless female
Unapologetically unafraid
She is a lyrical lioness
She broke out of her cage
She has the words to heal
She has the strength to fight
She is a fearless female
She is walking in the light

I created her with passionate  love
I destroyed her with enraged wrath
I mourned her with remorseful grief
I remembered her in languid dreams

Honesty is myth unless you pay for it
Beauty is a commodity that we confuse with superficiality
I am beautifully honest but you are unaware of it

why are you still here?
is
it
because
you have nowhere else to go ?

i designed this crown
so i could wear it proud
i walk these streets like royalty
baby,
don't you know i'm queen ?

I knew this boy in high school
Who thought he was amazing
His ego was his best friend
Arrogance with no end
He valued me as nothing
Thinking he knew everything
Everything means nothing
When your life is pretend

My mother gave me her figure
My father gave me his eyes
I gave myself an out and commited suicide
Taking them both by surprise

correct me if i'm wrong
but i cannot be corrected
sorry but i'm not actually sorry
i cannot help being right

Today I decide to believe
I believe in my undying beauty
Today I choose to be self encouraging
This epic beauty is undying

walking down the road of forgiveness
a road he has been down before
tiresome
repetitive
painful
feels like someone's version of hell
he thought there would be a lesson
something learnt
something gained
walking down the road of forgiveness
only made him insane
every time he saw the face of each enemy's mistake
the burden of bitterness
refuses to be vanquished
in all of his anguish
he knows that it is pointless
to be walking down the road of forgiveness