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Nicole Ashley Apr 2015
I'm in a vulnerable state of mind
Static screams in heavy machinery
A screen of the world in a room of thousands of sounds and lights
It's black and white
It's silent and noisy
It's dark and light
I'm in a vulnerable state of mind
But all of it is white noise
Kathleen Apr 2016
How many marbles can you fit into a bowl until you say you can't count them?

I do not want events layered upon events.
Birthdays toppling over birthdays:
a layer cake of responsibilities that aren't 'responsibilities'.
That do not count.
That cannot be measured or described as taxing or numerous.
I am outnumbered by numberless nonsense.
I am outweighed by weightless wafting pleasantries;
and opportunities;
and life-sustaining things;
that bowl me over.

My womb is a desert called Death Valley and you wish to comb it for antique glass bottles.
I care not.
I cannot partake in any more suggestions of what I might do with my 'free time'.

But you're not feeling the tingling sensation in your gut every time you wake up and the lights don't turn on.
The wheels don't work.
The mechanical arms don't move like they are supposed to.
Like the parts of you you're supposed to have on automatic have just given up the ghost and abandoned you.
You're alone and miserable and none of it rings any bells.
None of it gives out any signs.
None of it counts.

I'm crying because the milk spilled and there isn't any milk left anywhere in the world.
We're out.
We're just the land of Honey now.
Carter Ginter Sep 2018
I'm feeling stuck
Lost in this moment
What moment?
I don't even know where I am
This life is a mess
I don't want to move
I don't want to do anything
I'm tired
I'm sad
I feel like nothing
Where is my motivation?

Turns out it's anger
The rage setting fire to my veins
Is just enough to ignite the rest of me
Until I can release everything
Lost in this spiraling rage
Until I burn out again
And once more
I feel like nothing
Astral Dec 2018

I just want to vent,
I want to fuss and complain,
So I write haikus.

*

You don't control me.
I don't even control me.
So please, just back off.


What even are we?
It's up to you to decide,
Its driving me mad.


I could just go on,
Anyway, what is the point?
Oh yeah, I'm stressed.
Oof, sorry for so many vents..
Lace Nov 2018
My heart is racing.
I feel sick.
My anxiety knows me better

than anyone.
Katie Mar 1
There's not enough time
To finish everything
I have to do
Today, tomorrow -
I just can't find the time
There's never enough time
Where did it all go
They say time flies
When you're having fun
But with all this stress
Time must not exist
And I'm certainly not
Having fun at all
Apparently this poem trended on the day it was published? WHAAAT?!?!?!

Thank you all so much for reading my poetry! I truly appreciate it!
WA West Sep 2018
Flickering,
like a daydream,
knotted together days
losing curiosity
regarding what happens between,
polar opposites.

can't send a message to myself,
my body is willing something
false starts and abandoned plans ,
droning contained,
inside my head.
There is an inevitability to all things,
Nylee Apr 23
My life started on it
I have run over a million times
my little legs to huge feet
got enough space to walk on.

the beauty in water and landscapes
I have thought a million times over
accepting all kinds of sizes and shapes
The tree spread over gives me the shade

The oxygen and life spreaded all over
The bounty of love given to us
A sleep in between the blue and green cover
home to lives of the minutest

The one sided love has stressed the earth
It's aging twice to thrice extra every second
Our toxic nature has done enough hurt
A day of remembrance is just not enough
.
Stressed ?, Tensed ?, Frustrated in a blow ?,
Go to desert, beach, hill or a mountain of snow,
Sure, plan a trip, better make it solo.
Be free, feel the thrill, fear, love as you go.
Travel to unknowns, meet strangers say hello.

Feeling hurt?,
Stretch a desert,
Feel the sand,
Slipping through your hand,
Realise everything isn't in your control
A camel safari make it a goal.
Experience the culture, mix with locals
to rediscover yourself.

Are you in pain?
Head to mountains,
Altitude will test you in every way,
Your petty issues will go stray,
Try trekking, feel the snow,
Chilly breeze upland it blow,
Challenge your limits.
Trivial issues but mighty mountains digits.

When in doubt,
A beach you scout,
Feel the tropical sun,
Respect the relentless sea overrun,
You surf, sail and try the ****** fun.

Go beyond, challenge your limits,
Experience the miracles of nature,
Subside your pain, let stress be a bygone,
Rediscover yourself in the far unknown.
Many of us are going through unimaginable hard times,
But **** truth about life is, it goes on.
I see traveling and going to unknowns as a remedy to the pain and frustration. This way one can rediscover himself and find meaning to life.
no matter how much i sleep, rest, or nap i'm exhausted
i've taken to yawning in my favorite class.

no matter how easy i take it, my body still aches when i move
it's frankly rather disquieting.

no matter how much i clear out of my head, i'm still hurting
letting go of difficult situations is hard.

no matter how ahead i get, i'm still stressed for the next thing
the rapidity of life is eating away at me.

no matter how kind i am to those around me, i still know shame
impulsivity of emotion is a thinker's nightmare.

no matter how much faith i have, i still feel uncertain
my god is for me, but it feels like life is against me.

no matter how mature i am, i am still undercut by those older than me
focusing on the positive is not going to be theraputic right now.

no matter how much control i have, i'm still shackled to my anxiety
i cannot just "calm down" to ease your or my own conscience.

no matter how many decisions i make, there is still much left undone
slowing down is a luxury, one i take guiltily and not without consequence.

no matter how much i improve, i'm still bound to expectation of perfection
humanity is not perfect, and neither am i, broken and inadequate, but we try, oh we try.

no matter how much joy is in my life, i still feel the crushing weight of depression.
i said i was doing better

no matter how much i am validated by my loved ones, i still hurt myself
my eating disorder has infected my system completely, down to my bones.

no matter how many breaks i take i'm still being driven into the ground
crying because of household tasks is pathetic.

no matter how much i try to pretend life is not stressful,  it's
digging itself into my heart and soul.

i am not okay, and those who know it are trying to keep themselves afloat
i can't escape this tired, this exhausted, no matter how hard i try.
"the bags under my eyes have stories of their own"

This is an old poem from my senior year of high school, but I still relate to a lot of what is said here.
Been stressed all day.
Hadn't realised I typed in the wrong digit in my new email address.
Thought I lost you guys
And all my poetry.
Years of hard work and posting probably enough poems to make a few books
Still can't retrieve my old email but hey I still got you all .and all of my poems what more could I ask for .
Laken Cooper Sep 2016
Maybe* it's not you
Maybe there's someone who's worth my time
Maybe we're too busy
Maybe I'm too busy looking at you yet you're busy looking and thinking about her
Maybe I was blinded by the qualities
Maybe I don't like you
Maybe I like you because you're the only one I see
Maybe I focused on you
Maybe I was wrong
Maybe I paid a lot of attention
Maybe if I told you what I feel
Maybe there's something between us
Or maybe there's nothing between us
Maybe I shouldn't be thinking like this
Maybe I'm just stressed about other things
Maybe I thought thinking about the possibilities would make it better
Maybe I only love the idea of you and me
Since it's over. I'm done.
How Sweet yet Sorted your Flavours that Are
Branding each ****** where Lust is the Key
Keeping their Thoughts stalled in Wonder that far
Beheld the Heart's Choice you picked out to be
Now in my Learning from Elders since Time
That People regardless are not Hors d'Oeuvres
Nipping that Spread to where Souls are defined
And acknowledge the Praise they so deserve
These are your Customers; Satisfy them
Yet still keep your Person well and maintained
None do they ask for much Sterlings and Sense
Just that Spark to which your Truth is retained.
That Day will come when no Fish will swim by,
Stressed on their Fins with the Bubbles you cry.
#tomdaleytv #tomdaley1994
Alaina Moore Jul 2018
So I just did some math.
This week,
according to the numbers,
I've consumed on average
375 calories a day.
Call it 500.
I have no appetite;
I'm stressed;
It's hot;
I'm ill.
This relapse is
not like the ones I know.
It's so subconscious
I'm drowning
trying to fix it.
I tremble as I write this.
I don't know how I get through the day.
But I do know,
there is a mountain
of responsibilities
that I must manage
regardless.
I can't just over medicate
and play games
when I'm stressed.
I can't rest when I'm sick.
I must bare it all,
for both of us.
I'm being crushed
by this mountain.
Honestly don't know if this poem makes sense.
Kara Jean May 2016
The devil sat upon his toasted grieving red throne
Gulping his tongue, the devil never stressed  
She seduced his powerful taste
He knew she was a lost soul, out of control  
She was a walking mess, who was taking her toll
He had no business taking a hit to his statured entitlement  
He promised to distinguish her from the rest, implicating a battle every dawning blue sky
His threats do not scare her passion to fight
She's a rampage with braided hair and an innocent glare
Zip up your sweater vest, here comes Hells pest
Speak Slowly Aug 4
when I'm down and when I mean really down, I become numb. I get lost in my thoughts and my feelings are caught in a tug of war. I want to feel something so bad and alot of the times the bad feelings are the best for feeling.

I'm on the brink of collapse.. The thought of relapse sounds so sweet..

I put a lock on my heart and hope that I'll keep the best parts of me together. but Im steadily losing my sanity, I begin to shake and tear up and before I realise it, my pent up feelings are slowly leaking and polluting those around me.

I know it's bad to bottle up your emotions but you know it's not easy to face the sadness inside you. Im not ready to embrace reality. I just want my emotions to go away or even die slowly...

Im tired of hearing my own thoughts because they taunt me and haunt me of the things Ive done and the things I've lost.

Death has seeped into my mind and his words tempt to calm the storm inside me.

-SS
I havent posted in a long time coz I've been going through lifes ups and downs. Now again im at another low and this website is the only place to express myself and stay anonymous
Julian Delia Oct 2018
My head feels like a visit to the cranioscopist’s,
Like someone bored through it with a drill.
Inflamed and ill,
Like the ego of a billionaire philanthropist.
Flashbacks of “You”,
Got me off my tracks and feeling blue,
Stumbling around in pain, without a ******* clue.

My neck is aching,
My body is shaking,
My ******* soul feels like it’s breaking.
Volcanic unrest, putting my heart to the test,
Got manic anger strapped to my chest like a suicide vest.

I’m the spectre of truth, a hard hitter,
Like that last, smooth drink that fails your liver.
A lone wolf whose claws are made of words,
A man grown bitter and whose heart hurts.

My legs feel heavy and tired –
Is it now accepted to not have energy to even exist?
For that certainly isn’t how we’re naturally hard-wired.
I don’t know how to accept the illusion,
There seems to be no solution –
I look desperately, amidst the confusion.
I look for similarly empty eyes,
For those who do see the lies.
The only truth left is this;
He who murders lives, and he who loves dies.
Ye semi-regular dose of distilled emotions.
Johannah Jeanty Oct 2018
I'm too despressed to notice I'm stressed out
Suppressed emotions inside, shouldn't let out
Seeing is believing but what I see isn't real
I am forced to accept these 'realities' and ignore the way I feel

I don't mean to sadden, entertain, bore, or aggravate,
For a decade I find that this is how I communicate
The only way I can precisely speak out on the unhealthy pleasures
As the chemicals of my brain, they fornicate

These levels of relationships aren't supposed to be
It'll **** me sometime later, look at how it has ruined my personality
Seeing is believing, but you won't believe what I see
How can I act 'normal' when you won't acknowledge I can't do 'human being'

My animalistic compulsions are fuelled by my failing brain functions
Don't get too close cause I'll try to bite, I sympathise for your flesh when I malfuntion
Don't be scared, I'm not canibalistic, I just like to use my teeth
Humans scare me, I must defend myself, uh, I mean, to smile and eat

I'm not afraid to say it, but I'm scared when I'm saying it, I have to say
I have been observing your mudane human actions, I really don't want to be put away
I always feel foreign, alienated, out-of-place
But because I'm 'considerate,' I have to bite my tongue to save me some face

I'm too stressed out to notice that I'm depressed
Wanting mental soundessnes, yes, peace, my hallucinations don't give me rest
My taughts speed down their highway, my delusions are always a-fest
They inflict beneath my exterior, but for the public eye, I wear a crest

"I wear my skin well, don't you think?" I lie, becuase it ill-fits
I am totally normal, "I'm fine." Can't change the fact I'm a misfit.
The beams that bear my bag of meat rust and thus begin to weaken
The lethal sagging's caused by the mental luggage, I'm not heard, even though I'm speaking

Many persons think that I'm overly paranoid, I must admit, that I am
You would be the same way too, if about your health, no one ever gives a ****
Help doesn't come, because their 'laters' always becomes 'nevers'
I am not that superhuman, can't keep myself together, forever

They claim that they would help me, some way, somehow, but their actions never initiate
Someday, sometime, it would all be over, through a thorough death physical or mental
Oh yes, I'm still believing, you can't accuse me of not having faith.
I look forward to my healing, but all the while, my brain chemicals fornicate.
Pure of Stars Feb 20
it’s that voice in my head that gets me every time
right when i think everything is okay
it reminds me otherwise
it tells me all the things i try to hide away
it pushes its fingers down my throat
and grabs the razor on my sink
and right before i fall asleep
it lets me know all of the terrible things i am
It’s something else inside of me. it isn’t always what people say. or what i feel. it’s like a part of me doesn’t want me to get better. this dark demon. this voice that whispers nasty things to me.
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