You say you don't want to do this anymore.
What you don't know.
Is I don't want this either.
I don't want this empty one sided love.
When what we had felt like so much more.
This constant slope of feelings I'm fighting against.
I'm all in, been that way for a while now.
Even though you're already half gone.
I've been trying to pull you back in.
Over the egg shells and broken glass
I wont give up just because you push hard.
We always hurt the person closest.
I don't blame you for that!
Just need to remind you.
Why I'm here, Why I love you.
I pulled away hard and cold.
I gave up - I'd never been pushed that hard.
You said you felt it like you never thought you would.
Felt me slipping from your life for real.
Hurt like you never thought you could be.
All that time spent gone in an instant.
All the good moments, the tears and the love.
The closeness you don't get from anyone else.
Everything you thought didn't matter...
I don't know what you felt deep-down inside.
But you couldn't stand me walking out of your life.
Now we're still in this, keeping it going for now.
I know there was love here.
Strong and bonded
I know we could find that again.
I don't know where it evaporated too.
Sometimes I don't have a fucking clue
Where we're going, what we're doing.
Or what its all for.
I know I wont let it slip my grip.
I won't be the one to let it all drop.
I'll try more than anyone who ever sat here before.
I just struggle with this sometimes.
Just find myself sitting there
staring at the wall for hours on end.
I don't get shit done - just have you on my mind.
It drives me crazy coz its not me.
Envious, jealous feelings I don't usually elevate to the surface.
Cool, calm and collected I don't know myself anymore.
I don't like myself right now.
Weak, ugly and dependent.
I don't want to be that way... always and forever.
Just stick it out for a moment longer.
Let me find myself in the anxiety;
the emotional dependency;
the depression and the desperation.
I'll be the man you'd love once more.