Jack Thompson Jul 2017
I'm unhappy as fuck.
I'm an escapist of reality.
I'll gladly waste the next several hours, days, weeks escaping my existence, living outside myself. Removing myself from the pressures of unhappiness.
If only for a string of short lived moments.

What does one do with the awareness of ones subconscious drive. How does one begin to take the steering wheel.

Do I have what it takes to be more than short lived.
Copyright © 2017 Jack Thompson
Jack Thompson Jul 2017
Unhappiness occupies my mind in unfocused fragments of thought.
Encumbered by the empty air of loneliness. A lingering vapor of discontent, too viscous to vent.

Deterioration of self I once knew.
Wavering faith that only grew.
The bows and arrows, the childhood dreams.
How distant that tranquility now seems.
Copyright © 2017 Jack Thompson
Jack Thompson Jul 2017
I get them so bad these days.
Alcohol gets me going and your touch keeps me floating.
Genuine smiles surface and the happiness I keep locked down below begins to bubble.
A tranquil explosion of vivid pastels paint a foreground in my eye.  
Everything seems to make more sense.

It always ends, I've sobered up and you didn't stay.
The happiness that just barely began to bubble now turns to trouble.
I've depressed to find myself lonely, empty and stray.
Is this who I really am without stimulus, without catalyst?
Is it you I'm missing or something more fundamental.

How do you find happiness you desperately need when desperately searching for happiness is so unattractive.

That inescapable fact that when you need it the most it's nowhere to be found.

I'm not fine when it all stops. When it all starts rolling off the edge just as I'm reaching for it. When I'm not able to squeeze a smile worth of happiness through the gates - I'm not fine.

I have withdrawals from my own happiness.
Copyright © 2017 Jack Thompson
Jack Thompson Jul 2017
2 days to remember your name.
I love that I'm over you and don't feel the pain I once scraped through.
The rough filings of my heart and jagged burrs.
The piece of me I knew as hers.
It's all mine to give yet to someone else.
This amazing me and love myself.
Jack Thompson Feb 2017
Ocean waves lapping the shore.
Everything faded out leaving only the crash tsssshhhhhh of the waves nullified in the sand.
Drowned in the rhythmic arrangement.

Coconut trees in the distance rubbing leaves like the supporting instruments on this beach orchestra.

And then there was you.
And me.

With only the moon over head.
© All Rights Reserved Jack Thompson 2017
Jack Thompson Feb 2017
You disappoint me in so many ways.
So far from everything I ever wanted.
How is it you come to me like candy.
Unwrapped you're only rotten fruit.  
I must be a predictable person.  
Stable and empathetic.
Those around me up and down.  
Vindictive and petty.
All I see are the better option if I were they.
Simple like turn left or turn right.  
Why do people act this way.
And underestimate a valuable connection.
I am valuable.  
I treat you with love and compassion.
Raw and sensitively.
Like the liquid gold flowing through the earthly depths.  
Supporting your every move and fault.
But now you show disinterest and disdain.
I lived for your smile.  
And you bring me pain.  

Many will never appreciate my value.
© All Rights Reserved Jack Thompson 2017
Jack Thompson Jan 2017
You're the beauty I left in patong.
Rainy days in Koh Samui.
Now knowing leaving was wrong.

I miss the feeling that laying on top of me wasn't close enough for you.  
Seeing such a genuine need to not feel alone.
Like we're perfectly at home.

Gentle kisses on you're head
Cuddled up tight in bed.

You tell me over and over how you'd rather be alone.
That caring heart that asks me if I'm okay everytime I roll over.
Tells me something different.

You're the girl that may have always gotten away.
I've never known exactly what to think.
What's in your heart you never say.

If I had more time here something nice we'd make.
As the end draws near
It's a shame we're only half baked.
© All Rights Reserved Jack Thompson 2017
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