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Untitled
it's ok May 2015
Untitled
shrug your shoulders and become indifferent.
drugs aren't working anymore, and you can't block out your past
and there's not enough cigarettes to block out the stress
what's constant recovery, and who are you?
When you're overdosing and calling it quits,
pale face, blue lips, and you have circles under your eyes
but somehow, you're still alive, just not living too well.
this is the end, and this is nothing but an echo,
and i keep repeating myself, but i wouldn't be able to look at you the same
we move together like the sky seems to move
but the way we move is all an illusion
maybe i'm a hypocrite, but i can't handle the both of us
how am i supposed to keep you from slipping down?
my head hurts and i can't breath.
is this all my fault or your fathers fault?
is there a part of him you left  behind,
or am i a bad influence because i force you think about these things?
i think too much and i'm suffocating, and you look like
what someone looks like when they lose hope,
you remind me of darkness when i'm just trying to live
and maybe i should stay away from you, and take a breath
because death is laughing at the both of us, and we're waving at him
so maybe we should just go back to staring at each other
because we don't know each others names
Continue reading...
Untitled
it's ok Oct 2018
Untitled
he could be everything I need
but one of us is just too ******* weird
and it’s not him.
and when we speak,
i m too prone to acting like myself.
he loves it but I don’t.
Continue reading...
Untitled
it's ok Oct 2015
Untitled
I want to feel your skin pressed against mine
in the worse way, drizzled in vain
Soaked in revenge,
Oh, baby, let me tear you apart
I'm crazy, crazy
unhealthy mindset.
let me teach you love in physical pain is all night,
let me abandon you when you love it
and I'll let your life be ruined
soaked in pain and regret.
Continue reading...
Untitled
it's ok Jul 2016
Untitled
if i told you to call me when you understand what's going on in my head,
i'd never hear the phone  ring again,
and i would never hear your voice.

and some nights i think it's better than way.
Continue reading...
Untitled
it's ok Mar 2016
Untitled
I found peace in a place where
Most people would be terrified.
Continue reading...
Untitled
it's ok Jun 2016
Untitled
I didn't have someone I could tell everything to
For a very very long time.
It was trial and error for me
And I cut off the errors
And kept trying.
It took years
To trust one single person.
How am I supposed to find that again?
Continue reading...
Untitled
it's ok Mar 2016
Untitled
I can't really focus on
What everyone is interested in.
It's black and blue in a chronological way.
It's okay not to understand me,
I Am
sugar and salt mixed together.
You don't need to learn the map of brain
The compass is faced the wrong way
The roads are all dead ends
And you can't even read the directions anyway

I am not someone that you should understand
Continue reading...
Untitled
it's ok Mar 2015
Untitled
My heart is out of beat again,
Between the thuds, screaming secrets
The only thing I ever can do to make it quiet,
is get it beating faster
So let's get drunk and higher
and run through the roads towards fast cars
Continue reading...
Untitled
it's ok Jan 2016
Untitled
look, I wanted to have fun
they watch me now.
I found my sense of style and they follow me now
I'm not going to look at the world like you
Like I used to,
When I was absent of love.
Continue reading...
Untitled
it's ok Apr 2020
Untitled
you take me to a place I’ve never been before
And when you take my hand,
You guide me through everything I thought I couldn’t do before.
And if you fall, I hope you know it’s safe to land.

It’s not been easy for us
But we can grow and heal our wounds
and recover from all the hurt
But I know it takes time, so there is no rush

We’ve got all the time in the world
To build up everything we need.
It’s going to be okay
Continue reading...
Untitled
it's ok Aug 2020
Untitled
I’m not sure why all this love I have
Is aimed at someone who assumes the worst of me.
It hurts so much.
Continue reading...
Untitled
it's ok Apr 2018
Untitled
I have the wrath of the ocean,
Continue reading...
Untitled
it's ok Jul 2017
Untitled
some people hear songs
and they feel like they've already heard it
He said they all had the same melody,
The beat is a recurrence in all the songs

Every single one of them feel the same.
He said he's searching,
But he said he's done.
You see, he's stopped,
And he's settled for
a song that's at a faster pace
But still the same.
Continue reading...
Up Above
it's ok May 2014
Up Above
The stars were once so friendly,
dancing with the moon to radiate on each
satellite, plant, galaxy solar system
The stars were once so bright,
But that was before they saw a bitter life form
And they dimmed a little
They met the city lights, and saw they were
least important with such beauty,
A planet with stars of it's own,
which lead the stars to dim enough
But then the far away suns noticed
Hatred, and the beloved planets
not being taken care of,
water sources being drained,
Fake satellites being place all over,
The forbidden moon having
Earth's stolen elements stabbed into
Planets hid, and now
All the stars are all a dot to twinkle
Still holding onto that last piece of illumination
and lately, the moon seemed a little dimmer
How many times
How will you write
About a glorious light
It's mighty bright
When will you realize
it's worse off than you
                                        Let me be when I stargaze
            The sky will look back at me and reminiscence
#sad #hatred #life #moon #fake #not #realize #of #beauty #stars #galaxy #away #the #are #forbidden #water #dancing #and #noticed #you #on #*** #piece #bitter #last #when #was #about #its #to #but #than #light #now #years #being #solar #system #still #over #all #so #were #important #form #write #they #beloved #times #care #that #city #enough #planets #once #how #planet #plant #will #met #with #then #place #off #bright #holding #into #little #stolen #worse #many #saw #lead #stabbed #dim #hid #lights #taken #such #far #radiate #wise #progress #drained #dot #elements #which #least #friendly #glorious #suns #each #mighty #before #satellite #illumination #having #onto #sources #satellites #lately #dimmed #earths #seemed #dimmer
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Valentine's Day
it's ok Feb 2015
Valentine's Day
So many people are bitter on this day, but
It's a day to appreciate all the ones that love you.
To be glad love exists and that there are people in your life
who would die for you and stay alive for you in the same breath,
knowing you'd do the same for them without hesitation.
#love #day #valentines #february #14
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Vanilla Perfume
it's ok Dec 2015
Vanilla Perfume
My mother told me professional office people don't use vanilla scents
So I bought vanilla perfume right away
She told me if I buy it, buy it for a friend
And I healed myself with it

He wrapped himself tighter around me
He pressed himself more.
But what if this came with love?

I remember
My mother told me don't waste time boys like you
So I poured toxicity on me, that leaked from your skin
I tore myself apart for you, introduced you to my family
With codiene.
I don't know if I tore you apart,
But you've been different since I left

And with prayers, I think at night
That you were torn apart
Continue reading...
vocals
it's ok Apr 2014
vocals
there's a different way to play
when you yell at the top of your lungs
release your emotions through music
and you're gonna be alright
every thing bothering you will go away
and you will get to know who you are
just open up your mouth
and sing
Continue reading...
vodka and coffee
it's ok Feb 2014
***** and coffee
You could starve by searching the world
for someone who picks their words
just like you
and sometimes you make me laugh
with your coffee stained teeth
I hang onto every word that slips out
even though you think I forget
and I know I know I know
you can't knock me out some nights
after all the drinking, its better to pretend
this all means nothing
because truth be told it's so difficult for me
to love and so many people have tried
to break through my skin
you help me forget it all
and you make me crazy
Continue reading...
waking up
it's ok May 2014
waking up
I wish I didn't remember last night
but I do and I feel so
I don't know
I want it out of my head
or to smash my head
has anyone else ever felt this way? I know it's a short and stupid poem, but I can't think right now.
#drunk #want #of #i #night #and #remember #wish #my #last #it #do #to #but #out #head #know #feel #so #dont #or #didnt #smash
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Wandering
it's ok Apr 2018
Wandering
there’s hope.
For the lost, after all.
I fall
In love
With everyone for who they are.
I connect with everyone
On the level they need me to.
and not everyone needs me
But for the ones that do,
I am here
For you
Forever.
And I believe
There’s hope for you
And there’s hope for me.
And we will rise above
Continue reading...
Wanna Fall? I'll push you
it's ok Sep 2013
Wanna Fall? I'll push you
I have been educated to a new extent
My eyes are seeing the world differently, but I still feel the same.
Emotions seem to still wrap around my heart and stomach just like a boa constrictor
How much more do I need to feel?
And I learned its okay to cry, because in the end no one remembers anything.
Sometimes I hardly remember myself.
Things seem to fall apart when I wander away
And all I was trying to do is be tired so I can love you
Honestly, I don’t think you’d understand.
So put this in your memory, I truly care about you, but I’d **** if something got between us.
I never ever want this to happen, because you’re all I've got.
Put last.
Continue reading...
warning labels
it's ok May 2017
warning labels
im a violent downpour
And the sound of my voice is a lure
I'll invite you in,
so I can mess with your mind,
Because I'm tired of what's on mine
I'm damaged and damaging all at once

I'll uproot your home
And your family will always ask what happened
in the debris, you'll search for an answer.

A melody will still play in the wind,
And the sounds that run around will stick in your head
You'll wonder how you ended up with no love in your heart.

You'll wonder for years if you're ever going to recover
It's not smart to stay outside in the middle of a hurricane.
But you'll stay forever because you think you love the chaos.
Continue reading...
Wasps
it's ok Sep 2013
Wasps
Gather around, enjoy the show.
We’re all freaks here,
Flying around, trying to protect the only things we have.
Continue reading...
weak
it's ok Feb 2015
weak
I beg for attention in subtle ways,
and now I'm losing my mind, these people don't care
they never ******* did.
I'm losing my mind and I don't want to think.
Continue reading...
We Can Be Each Other's Monsters
it's ok Sep 2013
We Can Be Each Other's Monsters
You’re the sun in the rain and I just can’t resist
A little heart ache will only do the trick,
Up and down, darling, we’re in the corners
Lurking and waiting we play the monsters
We play the monsters and they don’t have a choice
This evil from us will consist
You’re going to all miss this
You’re the metal to the skin of your animals
They look to you and you ruin them well
Starve yourself for tomorrow’s pleasure,
Do you believe a parade will come on your stormy day,
‘cause it’s a stormy day and you’re not here
You’re the rocks on the ground,
So they kick you around
We supported each other, but I threw you far
I’m alone, tonight, isn’t it tragic?
I’m the rain covering the sun and I just can’t help it,
I’m bound to **** and I’ll ruin it all.
Look around, baby, I am the end,
Lurking and waiting, I’ll cause your heart ache
These tricks from me will continue
But, sweet heart, don’t be misguided,
For you are the one that I miss the most
Continue reading...
We Don't Talk
it's ok May 2014
We Don't Talk
Because you gotta leave
and I have so many emotions
and you're busy all the time
and I'm bipolar and don't expect
you to deal with my lows
and you're bad at it
and I'd rather deal with myself
and you constantly tell me to take medication

We don't talk
because I don't want to look at you
and emotions numbed me
and you don't want to speak to me
and my lows are happening more and more
and it's scaring me
and you can't bother with me
because i don't want to deal with myself
so I'd rather drown myself in medication
Continue reading...
WE LIVE ON FOREVER
it's ok Jun 2015
WE LIVE ON FOREVER
Drugs are no different from the love you show me
Hot nights, cold showers, cheap hotel rooms
Walk into the musty air on the second floor
Fall into unknown cities and drunk strangers
weliveonforever weliveonforever we live on
and the sun never seemed so bright
the sky is purple tonight
maybe my words are just slurs through the alcohol
my teeth can't speak
we live. on. forever.
Continue reading...
Well
it's ok Oct 2013
Well
A couple of years ago I learned the worse thing someone could do
Every single person wants to be better than the other
As we envy the greater ones
And get angry at the ones who attempt to be better
But never work at it
So we compare ourselves to each other
Never growing to our own full potiental
We could be so much more
And you, you could shake the world with your wonderfulness
if you only stopped comparing yourself to someone else
Continue reading...
when you stop hating yourself
it's ok Jun 2015
when you stop hating yourself
It's terrifying to suffer from years and years of
low self esteem, no confidence, and not caring if you stopped living
i'm only now healing and it's terrifying to think
someone could break me any moment
or if I think about what happened... that night..
the things that were screamed at me when I was barely awake
and the ways I started my days, breathing in as many chemical I could
or how I felt... when the chemicals didn't want to trick my brain
when I let myself fall.
all I have to do listen to a song that reminds me of how I felt.

take take take take me back, and remind me of when  I tried to feel nothing
I remember being given pills to take,
"You enjoy feeling nothing, and I don't"
I kept them in the car, in a gum bottle
and never chewed the gum
and so I felt nothing

and I tried not to feel you.
I sat at home alone
and now i'm trying not to remind myself

that's okay
I've accepted that if i break again,
then I will break.

but I'm healing. I am trying.
I even read books about it,
and listen to songs about it
Continue reading...
White Lie
it's ok Sep 2013
White Lie
I begged for hope
I pleaded for mercy
But you said some things are better
When they find how to fall apart
I contemplated you and listed you off
But you said lists are better off unfinished
I begged for love
I pleaded for change
There’s more than I bargained for
You’ve turned out to have a broken bone
It took a place where your heart should be
I wanted love, change, mercy, and hope
But you spewed a ****** mess
You gave me hate, routine, ******, and sadness
For that I never saw your full potential
You shine bright with dull nostalgia
But you stabbed the ones you loved
You shine so bright
But your evil covers it up
You had shone so bright
But you all knew for the best
Continue reading...
Who am I
it's ok Jun 2017
Who am I
she keeps her head between my legs
And I scratch my nails across her back
she tells me I'm made of candy when we're like this
But all the time I'm a bitter drink that can't be stomached.
She says she'll **** me because I'm emotionally capable
its my treat for being an absolute head case.
Because when I walk through I am quiet
So quiet you almost don't notice your heart on the ground.
Continue reading...
who are you?
it's ok Sep 2018
who are you?
If you don’t think about the needy
You’re selfish.
Self entitled, far from selfless
You should want to help others
The homeless
The needy

But your mind crumbles
Under the thought
Of you could’ve easily been
A drug addicted woman
Separated from her family
Who realized no amount of love
Can push away an addicts love
For white lines and heated spoons.

So your depression isolates you.
Because you were so close to being her
But you end up with empathy
And empty pockets
With the heavy weight of knowing
There’s no way of helping
Someone who doesn’t want to be saved.
Continue reading...
Why were we so sad?
it's ok Dec 2013
Why were we so sad?
Too young to be so sad
A little upset because our mothers didn't think we could tap into that emotion so much
Angry at the world for not making us feel better
Why were we so sad?
Because now the faded scars don't make sense,
Except for when the light is out and I'm all alone
Left to figure things out
with nothing to distract me from myself
I think about the past
and I realize why were so sad.
{Prephaps I used the word 'sad' too much}
Continue reading...
Willow
it's ok Jan 2015
Willow
It seems I would do anything to feel more alive
They say, I know no one knows me, but they say I can be
Brand new and I can fight, but what the hell am I fighting for?
Continue reading...
Wisdom teeth.
it's ok May 2016
Wisdom teeth.
I lost my complexity the day my wisdom teeth broke through.
Or that's what it felt like,
Because people stopped telling me things like
"Something about you is mysterious."
There's so much I still never told anyone.

I lost how interesting I was the day I said I'll leave
I blended in and became just like the rest of this town
I forgot how I was different when I wore expensive shoes.
Because I didn't stop and appreciate the uniqueness I could contain
Continue reading...
words cannot hold
it's ok Mar 2014
words cannot hold
everything in this town is so messed up
the sun struggles to rise
as church goers gossip
about the pregnant 13 year old's
3rd child
this county is so ****** up
there's more drugs and lies than you could imagine
and the dealers are the ones that own the gas station
everyone is trying so hard to get by
and in my town there's 400 people(estimate)
I hear emergency sirens everyday
but Im forced to love it here
until I get away
Continue reading...
Writing It All Down
it's ok Jan 2015
Writing It All Down
Through the eyes of a hopeful child,
the world can seem so cruel

The brand new 13 year old,
Sawing at their skin because
"Things are so hopeless."

Whatever, she's been filling scarlet napkins two years prior
She wondered if there would ever be a true friend

There's a 14 year old, she thinks she knows who she can trust
So she drinks herself unconscious,
Crying about everything to the ones she trust.
A year later,
when she's gotten her skin torn into by ink,
they all give up on her
and she's back to talking to a knife.

There's a 17 year old who feels so used,
Trusts two people
Can't wait to move out,
but money isn't too nice
Her dreams seem out of reach
but her scars seem to be healing
thoughts of dying happen less and less

Things have been crashing down since day one.

A 20 year old just moved away,
year two of college.

Feels invincible, and maybe one day
she won't hate herself.
Looking towards the future
For constant reassurance
Continue reading...
Writings
it's ok Feb 2016
Writings
It's terrifying that songs or poems can be written about you
Someone thought about you so much,
They had to write it down,
You played with their thoughts enough
They sat down and thought about it
Continue reading...
you are an infection with antibiotics
it's ok Jul 2015
you are an infection with antibiotics
you are
a thunderstorm with the sun still shining
you feel like
a freezing house with the warmest bed
you talk as if
they could get drunk off the liquor on my lips
you act like
that past year is probably going to mean nothing
we all know
it's not hard to spot a mess,
and you're drawn to be
closer to me.
Continue reading...
""Young & Reckless""
it's ok Mar 2016
""Young & Reckless""
Its stamped over and over
On my forehead "brave, young, and reckless"
I understand why they think that.
I go at 80 mph speeds on roads that have warning signs
I get it now,
I go swimming in creeks with alligators and snapping turtles
I ride in the back of a truck bed on interstates
I sometimes drink for days in a row

I even go as far as to not wear coats in the cold

I run and lay in the middle of the road in the dark with my people

But I'm not trying to prove to anyone that I'm
Brave
Reckless
Invincible
I'm trying to prove to myself I can feel alive.
Continue reading...
you're calm before the storm.
it's ok Jan 2016
you're calm before the storm.
I'm sorry I'll never fall in love with you
But I can pretend so I make my mother happy
And I found a boy who's too innocent
He just wants to cuddle and he's never showered with someone else

I'm sorry I'm still searching for someone to test my limits
The floor can be a bed and that's what I need
But he hesitates and I can't take it

I don't want to fall in love
I can't fall in love
It's been over a year since I've actually cried

im searching for my sunshine on a planet where it only rains
Now, I need you to fall in love with me
It's nothing personal.
I need your sugar filled comments

Maybe you'll remind me to love myself
but I don't know what I'm doing
And I hope you'll forgive me
I can tear you apart, and I won't mean it
And you can pray to the god you don't believe in
That one day I'll be okay.
Continue reading...
your girlfriends house.
it's ok Jun 2017
your girlfriends house.
don't act like you didn't have your eyes glued to me
we were sharing a cigarette and making fun of our past
talking about her without speaking a name,
and i could tell you were falling apart trying not to fall in love.
she's such a terrible person,
does it make me better if i'm really apart of her plan?
Continue reading...
Yourself Battle
it's ok Sep 2013
Yourself Battle
You'll be alright,
Just stick to the fight
The battle plan to not regress
Don't lose this time against yourself

But your weapons down,
You seem exhausted,
Let me warm you some tea, dear.
Aren't you cold?

I have a fuzzy blanket or a silk blanket
You can choose one...
Or have both if choosing is overwhelming
Lay down now and close your eyes

Oh don't worry about the tea,
I'll wake you up later
Just don't stress, darling
You need to rest
and eat a lovely meal
Before I allow you to return
to the battle against yourself
Continue reading...
You Tell Yourself It's Not For Them
it's ok Mar 2015
You Tell Yourself It's Not For Them
You're a mess, kid.
You started smoking cigarettes because they did too,
and you wanted something to have an excuse to talk to them.
"Can I have a smoke?" and you held your breath
But you tell yourself it's not for them.

You heard their music taste and decided that you'd listen to that band
In your car over and over and you fall in love with the music,
but you claim you love the tune because it's refreshing,
said you didn't do it for them,
but now you've got another thing to talk about

and you're introduced to foods you hate and people you're forced into
but you didn't do it for them, right?

You dye your hair darker,
but it's not for them,
and you're not breathing for them
you're not staying in this worthless place for them

but you realized you're only lying to yourself,
and it's all for him
Continue reading...
You Think You're So Clever
it's ok Sep 2013
You Think You're So Clever
Originality is making comparisons to the stars and watching the sky
Do you see how beautiful a sentence can be
Just by writing in the setting sun only a lie?
Continue reading...

— The End —