Do they ever meet? In the city Or in the streets?
Does distance affect their signal? A line in history or a squiggle?
Does the hands of time delay their meeting?
Do the whims of fate wait until it is too late?
Or does the last crow sing where love could have been?

Does the Moonlight shine on the corpses of their promises
Will the Sun revive them on each others premises
Eyes of Brown and Green mix to make a regal forest
Do they ever think of what was, and if they were truly honest

A past like Honey, the present like a sting
Dances never had, kisses never felt
A Future ever more unknown, unworn promised rings
Is infinite wealth better than a love that could melt?

Staring at sunsets, rises, Full Moons and Monsoons
Dry runs my tears, wet from the sweat of my fears
Do you ever step aside and force yourself to remember my name
Or is the thought of our memories one that brings you to shame?

Must I keep writing until the universe takes heed
Or calm down my steed and forget, agree
That it is pointless calculating a love that is no more
Or is it something deeper in my core
That bothers me enough to overanalyzing

I see a Soulmate where the world sees the past
See a muse where the present sees a hindrance
Touch a wound where the cast had failed
Mailed others letters that you'll never read
Wrote ballads you'll never seize
Its of utmost importance, that you know I care

At 0 one sees the universe in the womb
From the stars above to the ancient tombs
Eating what mother finds best for us both
Everyone hasn't met you, yet you still bring hope

From 1 to 5, you learn to survive
Stay away from that stove! Don't run with that knife!
Mommy seems tired and daddy always plays
But just say the magical words and you'll always have your way

From 6 to 10, everything is sudden
You start school; you try to be cool
You're no longer allowed to get your clothes muddied
And you won't always need mommy when you go to the pool

From 11 to 12 you start fearing high school
Final years in primary, getting closer to your destiny
You start seeing crushes, as you drool
And wonder what's so cool about that word you learnt "******"


13, standalone, a bridge between know it all and human
Running around before the arcade closes to join your legion
Pimples all around, hair growth is profound
You seem a quiet kid, yet around crowds you become loud
Everybody judges you, and your crush won't play your games
You seem too deep into school, don't bunk? You must be lame!


14-16, From the bitter to the "sweet" 16
Depending who you ask, it's the best years of your life
Though many say that about your 20s
Missed an opportunity? There'll be plenty.
Comfortable being uncool, you're just a teen
You don't need others' opinions or their strife

17 to 18, from youth to young adult
You start hating your friend group, it's all their fault!
Why were you a blabbermouth? Keep your words in the vault!
Slow to speak to a crush, but overexposing like a bolt
Everyone already applied. Should I take a gap year?
Nobody is saying goodbye. Why am I in tears?

19. Might as well not even be a teen
Your back hurts, your spleen,
Uni said No, and college is pricy
I'm playing with my future. This is getting dicey.

20, never smoked, drank or kissed
Everything here seems amiss
College is for adults yet this feels like extended high school
Lecturers complain students flirt with them, students complain lecturers are on them
Who's lying? Who's right? Why does that one kid always wanna fight?

21, almost there, special year, conquering fears
Grandma died? I might have to repeat?
Passed the module but granny passed away
There's still so much I wanted to say
This isn't about me, I have to get payed
Too much is on the line. I'll get off my seat and wipe my tears
21! You're an adult now!


22-24, Graduated, got a job, I wouldn't know much about this field
Many say you grow into it, others say you never yield
Alcohol still tastes bitter, a high school crush keeps in contact?
Maybe I truly am better off. Lost friends and family, but I'm still intact


25, the frontal lobe developed
My ideas have finally enveloped
Many at this age are married, have kids, even grandkids
You sit at home, can't afford your own, you can't open the mayo jar's lid

It is amusing to consider that this is regarded as a quarter of your existence.
everything changed, and you stayed persistent
Birthdays don't matter anymore and you can do whatever
But you're old now? And can't chase childish endeavours.

Run it back. Where did we get lost?
How much would it cost to do it all over again?
To apologize and hug that friend
Tell that dead relative that you're sorry
Tell everyone your story
Live a little, once more

Its been a month, I can seem to find
The words to say, or get you outta my mind
How I wish you looked back, to give closure
Knowledge won't end suffering, lack of exposure

How it must feel, to get rid of me
How my heart yearns, for what may seem
To be the old you I created in my head
Was it all a dream? Should I go back to bed

And even now, even now, I still defend your name
Even now, even now, I still take all the blame
For my words might attack you and cause you to leave
But you made it so thats all I had under my sleeves

I regret, that words cut so deep
I'm upset that i'm losing sleep
Wish I'd forget, Like you seem to do
What'd I expect? Is this a sign from You

And even now, even now, I wish you'd feel the same
Even now, even now, I wish you would come claim
The broken pieces of my heart I can't fix
Friendships turn toxic when romance is in the mix

But I guess, it would be mature
To just let go, and to be assured
That your life is going par for the course
Maybe my existence was a part of the cause
Where you couldn't seem to move on from the lack of resource

Even now, I wish I cut out my tongue
Even now, I wish we still stayed young
I wish forgiveness was as easy as the books make it seem
You were book-nerd and explained how they made you cry a stream
Now I see that not all books have happy endings
Some don't even end, wasting the time you're spending

Even now, you're a muse I abuse
And even now, I just wish I could choose
what thoughts entered in my head
And if it would affect you if you ever read

Even now, I wish you the best

The title speaks it all so clearly, unlike I who slurs my words
To write down what a handful will see, but phrases never to be heard
From obligations to congratulations, it all starts to feel the same
How petty it is I blame everything, how I must feel ashamed

Things I said to prove a point
messages left on read I wish I never sent
The cold is blistering, so are my fingers
Tell me how you can forget yet for me it still lingers

People go on with their lives, wishing for the summer
While I sit hear wishing I didn't think everything was a ******
Its so easy to appreciate the little things in life
But so hard when you feel teardrops turning into ice

Everyone says to seek help, that it gets better as you grow
yet almost a decade later I have nothing to show
Spreading positivity, have no certainty
Of the people coming and going, who matters and who closes the curtain

Future careers, games, girls, what I fear
Further encapsulating that I barely feel like I am here
Stuck between adulthood and being a child
Stuck between a mild nature and a wild imagination

Stuck between what games to play, what role to play
Which school to pay and which job pays better
Payment is engraved in my mindset, my parents make sure of it
Little do they know I hate adult life and I am sick of it

Crushes like a giddy child, in this darned freezing weather
Is it sad I feel better alone, or I feel alone and barely any better?
How ironic my words contradict each other
but thats what we were to one each other

Am I just ranting over you, this existence, or the future?
Is this in general or has my heart finally ruptured?
This barely makes sense, and neither does this life
Play, work, pay then get a wife? Is this why samurai always held a short knife?

Writing this comes as no surprise, when a threat of a goodbye
Is what one would despise, yet is greatly needed.
To have held on a handful of years
Through the laughter and the tears
And have glimpses of you in my eyes

To Know you'll never read my letters
That I'll never know if your worse or better
That you'll never hear my resolutions
that my ears never hear your voice again

That I'll never laugh at a dull joke again
That every girl I meet will never even be a friend
Hoping my naïve loyalty will make you send me a message
To give me passage again into your life


It wasn't fair expecting a rainbow when I gave you a thunderstorm
And for you to expect gold when you sent me to an oil rig
I'll never know if you'll ever go to prom
Or were the feelings we felt ever that big


Will I ever get to tell you happy birthday?
Will we ever get to hug? Can I even get a handshake
Or did I make the mistake
In all the hopeless promises I used to say ?


That i'll go to special events, and buy charms you'll never wear
That I'll tear up and hold my face, and those around me wouldn't care
That a dreamcatcher used to connect us, like the very dreams I had for us
That you taught me how to cuss, and hold back and not make a fuss


I miss the way we used to laugh, at the mundane and obvious
And how you always made light of my snobbishness
How you made me a better man, both mentally and physically
And how I promised us tickets to Seoul with concerts and sights galore

So this is it, no millionth chance, the final curtain closes
And what a sadder way to end it, where both of us exposes
The fatal flaw in one another, and our hope to achieve love
While you go back to your knowledge, and I beg the one above

I got the message today, the finality is alarming
How all veils have been removed, as its regarding
Or would be love story, If I could be the One
Who takes you to see the moon and not get boiled by the sun

I shiver, I cry, I hope you didn't take to heart
The anger I spewed and the hope it doesnt break us apart
I came like a volcano, and you a Tsunami
Only now does it dawn for me how you're so far from me

I said thing to instill a reaction
But instead of satisfaction
I get the realization that this extended vacation
will be our dedication to what was and will never be

A girl and a boy manage to become best friend
But boy falls in love and girl follows suite
Unknowing they'd be each others rock, person
Now one stands firm and the other uncertain


Does it end tonight, do angered words repel honeyed apologies?
Can love conquer all and fulfill their destiny?
Do they become ones Soul mates to now polar opposites
Or day even more distant, now used to be's and Pessimists?

The ocean seems so peaceful, the night is so calm
How the moon is ever so charming
Shining on me once again, and once again I long to be friends
you taught me how to whale watch, you taught me how to heal

I stare right at the moonlight, hopeful for a shooting star
It seems you're getting farther, and I'm left with all the scars
We stay closely right on the shore
Yet loving memories turn to a bore

Swaying and swaying, our row boat is sinking
Waiting and waiting, do I stay still or do I swim
I hear the whales calling me, I float towards their sounds
They sing melodies of the past, their themes are so profound


You wait on the shore, dripping wet, I'm stuck between you and nostalgia
Of whale calls repeating what once was, and you proclaiming what will be
Their voices sound like Honey, yours like a bee

I know you're right, I know its wrong, but I want to live in the past tense
before our relationship became tense
lovers to friends, siblings to strangers
We went from content to danger

I wave goodbye, cowardice, I cry knowing that this is all a dream
That you wished me the best, that I stayed in the stream
That you want us close, and I grow even farther
I wish you were closer, and that I was smarter

I stay, whale watching as you fade away
Wondering when it will be the day
We meet again and iron this out
To before things went south

I hope to find you on that same shore
with the same smile
with the same heart

Fragile, It shines in the night
A reflective surface, redirecting the light
Thorns so sharp they cut into bone
Appearing so beautifully, Yet being alone

Few admire it, others just pass it by
Even nature chooses to say goodbye
Unnatural yet it settles in
Never withers and always gleams

Standing out like a sore thumb
Its beauty unnoticed by some
Does its thorns hurt just as much
Or does it slide off by one's touch?

Is it appreciated by the wild life
or treated as another object
Does it shine off the moon in the night
Or does it stay stagnant?

A Glass rose, artificial yet endearing
A imitation of nature, and a homage to whats real
A lesson on true love, and knowing lies from truth
A beginning, an ideal,  and a cool Glass Rose

Looking at the mirror, I don't see myself
Lately been wanting to be someone else
Lately been feeling like I'm not enough
Hoping that someone can see through my bluff
Hoping someone sees that my life has been rough
Hoping that people see I'm not that tough!

I've been fake so long, I don't know what's real
Trying to say a word but I can't break that seal
People keep depending on me, they see me as a light
Little do they know, I lose sanity every night
Little do they know, I'm starting to lose this fight
I'll keep smiling on, and pretend I'm not hurt by the pressure
I'll keep holding on, take a break man I need a refresher

I'll keep high, making sure that my poise never falters
I'll speak from my mind, making sure that my words never flutter

...who am I?

I sit exhausted every night
Not a single off day in my sights
Working as I wake up, and until I dose off
So busy, my dehydration is discovered by a dry cough

To busy to eat, yet too hungry to carry on
Taking even a little break causes progress to be gone
Disappeared are the days of weekends being a reprieve
As I wipe the tears and carry on by rolling up my sleeves

Some call it growing up, others call it existing
Here I am throwing up, unware of how exhausting
this all truly is
The human body was made for pressure, yet I cannot reassure
If I am tired out of hard work, or hardly getting things to work

The weapons must have succeeded, the attacks seem to have landed
Stuck in this workflow I feel stranded, and yet life has still demanded
I wake up and smile, and sleep with the same expression
Is this depression, a lesson, or a trial for heaven?

Sitting down is wasting time, and working with no success is just as worse
Is this a challenge set before me, or some invisible curse
Time and time again, clocking in and clocking out
I sit still, letting it boil, as all I want to do is shout

It's been almost 3 months since last we met
Almost 3 months since the sun set
On that day long ago, where we cherished great memories
Of a friendship build steadfast on love and history
A short time, yet a grand experience
How glad I was, to see past life's interferance

I would have regret if I got sick of play games
Cause my holidays wouldn't have been the same
How I can use slang so openly is alarming
When I try and act serious, your bring me down to earth, you're charming
A week ends, but a bond doesn't
I almost regret being so hesitant


An owl brings us close, carrying us away with its talons
To you, a girl with many Talents
And to I, who hopes to be valiant
Do you see a mentor in me or a buddy?

Regardless, I cherish our time
and hope that your pure heart never loses it's shine
That you come to see the world as amazing as you made it feel
and that you stay true to heart, and always keep it real

How ironic to not seek the tools yet drool on them
To see the instruments and break down like a phlegm
How naïve of us to use the gym as an excuse
To prolong it, as if it were drug use

Some call it dopamine others call it clarity
Most see an opening to showcase their barbarity
Called less of a man to those "better off"
Called less of a woman to those showing pictures with their sweater off
Lust driving companies to show children compromised
We see these plaything while revenue boosts the enterprise
Anime, video games, novels and Tv
Nothing seems too extreme for these mediums
Beheading, shredding, **** and made "Dream-like"
Topics have been explored beyond their tedium

**** is accessible and Ai makes your dream man
Merge yourself with your idol beyond the imagination of a regular Stan
Be praised for wearing Japanese ******* and condoning said behavior
Treat somebodies feet pics like your very own savior


The beast wins not with wit, but with a pattern
To catch us in the act frozen still like Saturn
Internet connections show us the milky way
And your hands remain adamant, your mind filthy

The beasts doesn't care of November, nor valentines or about your crush
It waits to clamp you, and turn you into dust
Too ashamed to seek humanity, too far gone to find morality
Repeated until insanity, Your mouth blurting profanities

And yet we blame the beast when our relationships end or we cant break a ***** habit
Then try to pray to catch up to the Sabbath
Why Lie to the beast and to ourselves?
To those who use their hands or run to cheap hotels
Is ******* more worthwhile than redemption?

The beast is with me as I type this, judging my every move
It laughs, uses slurs and denying my attempts to improve
It lives in you, no matter how content you are with your sexuality
And does its all to destroy your Mentality

Thought I never openly brag on it
I never found it something to dwell on
You made a gift so emotional that it could never be bought
So inspirational it must be felt and not taught
Then life happened, and so did you
Changing to somebody I could barely view
You spent your days at parties and bashes, long forgetting your truest friends
You left our messages on red and blue, and even when I waited for you
You never rung back

You greatly post about your life, as if you beg for the attention
And looking back and taking some introspection
I realize we were the sun and the moon
Always to be apart, always to have a pull and push
Always to end things early, always to say goodbye too soon
Never ready and never to see the use

I'd ping you motivation and say your eyes spark into the souls of millions
You'd see this message and reply later as if my response is vermillion
You'd say I ignore you for having nothing to work with
And yet I adored you even when you thought I wouldn't persist
Months on end a single ping from you is all I wanted
and seconds on end my response time made you astonished

Many call you out to your way of delaying friendships, to keep them on hold and return when you are in pieces
To have us piece you back together because you learnt this world is vicious
You even told me you find my concern for you so alarming, how anybody so genuine could love "****" like you
And even now I second guess before I throw blame and hit skew

You called guys manipulative and even called my lack of time a game
Yet always cried and pleaded when we called you out for the same
So determined to keep a guy on the line while lusting for another
You find it naïve of me to not act like your brother
It's saddening to think we may never find comfort in speaking again
And where I wished you at every occasion, you never wished me a happy birthday
You never told me happy Birthday

Hand in hand, eye to eye, your gaze leaves me elated
Your smile sends me, it was made in heaven, all negative emotions negated
Was this meeting between 2 people fated?
Will our love be debated?

Your Dress shines brighter than the stars in a sky
I laugh awkwardly just staring into your eyes
Heavens know how lucky it must be for a guy
To be blushing so hard it cannot be disguised

Hands intertwined as the music sets the motion
Movements so in sync we receive jealously from the ocean
How would your parents feel, what is their notion?
Am I the only one feeling this much devotion?

Tip toes and sways, you match the beat to the Tee
We scream at the top of our lungs, so what if the world sees?
Be it fate, chance, destiny, or the power to believe
I know that we could never be deceived

This must be real, you must actually be here
If not, then why do I feel your hand wipe my tears
Were those dreams just illusions to feed into my fears?
Or was our love ever really there my dear?

Somedays I wish I were your mirror
For days you doubt yourself and your lips start to quiver
The days you second guess your outfit
To me, just to see you would be more than enough profit
From your encapsulating gaze and river-like hair
Would keep me staring at you for hours
Wondering are you faring well
Every remark causing me to dispel

To every outfit too tight, bright, just right
To every single compliment, gorgeous, Insatiable, a delight
I'd rarely be blind Justice, you'd look good in everything
Wishing moments like these were everlasting
On your off days, to your worst
Whenever you feel cursed
The reflection may be blurred, but never lies
Your tears only bring out the beauty of those portals
to your soul, gateways to the brain
Not being able to touch you would be insane

If I were ever punished to become any object
I'd choose to be your mirror and never object

My suit is wrinkled, fresh yet wasted
Food is before me, barely tasted
Everyone dances, their dates close at hand
I sit alone, yet I understand
This should faze me, yet somehow I don't care

The floor is neon lit and the room is dark
Colours there to illuminate, to bring a spark
I walk through the couples who dance away
My mind is blurred as the music plays
My Ex-date sees me and stares the other way
"Its alright" I say, I predicted she would never stay
She finds my consideration queer
I carry on walking, my direction never steers

I'm outside in the cold, my hands feel numb
My mind is faded, to darkness I succumb
"Thyreez" I hear a voice in the wind
I see her and the real night begins
No face is needed, I Remember the voice
I stare from the balcony, the venue was a great choice
"So I" she speaks, but I'm not bothered to listen
The shadow holds my hand, I push it back
"Go on, go inside, go enjoy your final year, go grab a snack"
She finds my request rude and storms in
I'm alone, a silent but well deserved win
I check my phone "19:45" 2 more hours
The rest of the night will be spent staring at towers

I thought it over long and hard
And have finally reached my answer
I searched for the meaning wide and far
And it stood out to me like a banner

You weren't exactly just like me
As hard as I would deny it
But your not exactly far of either
And here's the proof, I'll supply it

We both have artistic hearts
We both come from rough starts
We both have ways we deal with out stress
Laughing it off as it made the pain less

We both hate users, we both hate spoiled brats
We both hate backstabbers, who act like city rats
We both like to have peace, we both like being idiots(unintentionally 👀)
And when conflicts arise we try and end it immediately

We both pretend not to care, we both tend to snap
We both say things under out breath, then out mom's beat us till we're trapped
We both happened to met online
We both happened to feel inclined
We both sold out somebody, even when it put us on the line

We both chose to be alone, we both chose the coldest road
We both happened to meet each other there, carrying a heavy load (sus)

We both want what's best for out loved ones, we both happen to feel lost
We both chose to hide behind the pain, throughout the harsh cost
We both happen to be there for each other
We both can't understand why
We both stood up for each other and saw each other cry
But never said a word out of peace

That's something not even love and fate can break, that's True love✊ soul siblings

Her brown eyes shine like the sun
Her soul reflects in them as I become undone
Weakened by her voice, or at least what it used to represent
Blessed to have had such memories, even with the overlying resentment

In my head our song plays when we eventually meet
How eventually has turned into nothing, as I admit defeat
How this poem is a requiem, as well as an obituary
To the death of our love, the wakeup call of fate
And even as we never even had a first date, meeting up now would be too late
Must our favorite songs be played at its cemetery?

Your hands seem soft, at least your photos say so
Your life seems so lonely, or am I projecting?
I miss back when this felt real, and it wasn't infecting
My heart to lie on the spot, defend you like a true attorney
While you carry on with life, as I become a bitter memory
A reminded of better days, when friendship meant all the world
When I was some guy, and you some girl
When kissing you was over the limit
But snuggling felt second nature

It’s over, to those reading this I've lied, yet barely at that
She was amazing, even worthy of Being a wife
But life interfered, where love could never reach
And lust disrupted where life experience could never cheat

Forgive me, yourself, even forgive life itself
I wish I could hold your hands, and be there in your cries for help
And be the rock, albeit pointless
I wish to be your guide, as you are my reason
I the diary, you the pen
You the rain, I the bucket
I the maestro, you the order less Singer
Never following my instructions and making me jealous of anyone who calls you "theirs”.

I sound like I’m obsessed; I sound like I cling to your image and not yourself.
I am... In denial to my love to what was and could have been
It was special, but it could have been real.

Had we met sooner or later, would you do the same?
Or would life take it course as we find love opens doors?

I'll never get that answer, and I've bit my tongue to respect your ears
To keep away your fears
I'm sorry that your sorry, that you regret
And had things been different, this piece would have a better ending.
Till the universe resets or in the next life... May our feelings rest in peace
Even when mine fight for revival
Let the cemetery rest as you have

This question makes me contemplate
Could we have sooner, or were we too late?
Was it destined, Foretold? Did we know all along?
Just Ecstasy? Easy Gold? Is this where we belong?
I thought long and hard

Did you remind me of better days? No, actually
Making me move forward, towards the light of vitality
For every pained memory I felt from then till now
You helped release me from them, to you I offer a tearful bow

Was it a savior complex? For a while I'll admit
I was still uneasy, rarely wanting to persist
Perhaps letting my guard down is what made me realize
Just how many tragic memories you kept behind your eyes
Was that what made us so compatible?

Perhaps its cause this is the first time I feel confidence
To blindly walk into you without prejudice
Openly assuming you feel this way too
And just how easy it was to say "I Love you"

Was it ******* attraction? To me physically wanting this?
Or how your voice calmed me down in it's sugar-coated bliss
Your hazel eyes, your voluptuous hips
Your child-like laugh, your unexpectedly talented quips
With every second I think of this, my attraction truly grows
Perhaps it was Faith, but I truly love you and our odds
And deep down I know you were sent by god

Your presence alured me
Your answer assured me
Yet I lay alone in regret
This feeling consumes me
Your signals confuse me
Why love me, then one day forget I exist?

Opening your Dms, haven't seen you since
Hanging out with Peter while I wash away my sins
Tell me where you've been
Messages left on seen

Spoke to your own mother, neither does she know
Said he's "just your bro"
Although we never went to ferris wheels
You never asked how that would make me feel

And yet, when we talk, it's your eyes
And your voice that sends me to the skies
So answer me why, can't you reply to this guy?

That guy referring to me, don't you see?
When I confessed to you, my conquest turned into a goal
And your soul, intertwined with mine
And interventions so divine

And although, i don't know what your doing
Im assured your just, taking your time to reply
Tell me then, oh why? Oh why?
Why do I send the 3rd follow up question
To no avail, I lose motivation

Those kisses on my cheeks leave me lonely in my sheets
As I cry to see your feats, while i lay here in defeat

And yet once in a while you reasure me
As I choose to endure
This same love used to cure me
Now it leaves me in the dust

"Just,reply whenever" i throw the phone to the floor
Can't take this anymore
My mother knocking on the door
I hold back the tears as I fear her ears hear
"Im busy" wrenching as im drenching my eyes
I despise you, want to cut ties with you
But the dreams I have tell me that there's hope if I keep this broken point of view

Do you hate me? Why date me? Then ignore me like the plague?
Am I such a burden than you refuse us having an exchange?
I regret to inform you, your next reply changes nothing
This isn't immaturity, this isn't me fussing

Im typing this all, deleting and retyping
Must be tiresome, reading an overhyped essay
I digress, I regret that I confessed
I can't take back when I said that you looked hot in that dress

So forgive me, but I've spiritually broken up
As you mentally have
Even ground
Without a sound
We go our separate ways

I know deep down its never really gone
My heart knows exactly what's going on
Cause I may pretend and look at a pond
But I still miss that blue eyed blond

They call you a name
I don't feel the same
Cause you're perfect just as is
And id ever just dream we kiss

Maybe I'm just being a fool
I still look at your pictures and think "she's cool"
So I never really let go
And no one can say so

You're still my glistening star
No matter how far
I still love you with all I know
So a kiss in the air is what I shall blow

I don't know why I can't forget
the loving words and the respect
Its just a feeling so divine
I try and hide with "I'm fine"

Deep down I know there's still hope
Cause its only the memories that made me cope
Who cares if I'm still stuck on you
Cause nobody has a clue
Those nights
Oh so bright
When I learnt to feel like never before
Now only pain I endure

But I thank you, for teaching me how to love
You being as fragile and as calm as a dove
So that I know with every tear
There is something deep down, to conquer fear

I guess words cant describe my heart
And the pain of being apart
Is this how love ends?
How feelings can bend

It's never truly over, like a song in my head
You're with me till I go to bed
And even if fate taught me the lesson well
To forget you? I'd rather go to hell

Spider society needs their own locus
While others break of, I'm keeping my focus
Let me breathe, can't you see I'm what this universe needs?
Millions at risk, due to inaccuracy
I'm never Icarus, only report I'm accepting is one I succeed in

They ask if I'm good, life's not black and white
The justice I'm seeking seems bleak in the light
Priority, I cannot stoop to being petty
Won't take no from no miles, no Pieter, no Gwen and no Penni
My law is final, the canon's at stake
I have to be brutal, taking out the fakes

"I thought we're the good guys" we are, we... Are?
Just look at the good we've done, the lengths, how far
I respect every person in this room, the doom and the gloom
I'm no vigilante, don't wait for the moon
When I see anomalies I just go and Boom

Maybe we can... But think of the Spider-verse
Can't think of her now, they're not in this universe
That kid was on to something, I can't crack
That life I used to lead, I just can't go back
Maybe we're not heroes, maybe we're not evil
we're just in the middle, anomalies to unveil
the job we do, seem to never get hailed
But if I fail this, then it's her that I've failed

Lookism, is not a phase
And much like racism, it just can't change
Genetically cursed to live as lacklustre
I'm a moth, I'm not a butterfly who flutters

You look at me through society's lenses, yet we're the same
We're all so basic, yet feel high enough to blame
They insult you, to the point you wonder why you came
When you don't fix yourself they perceive you as "lame"

And the worldview of beauty is truly some mistake
Why should we bother struggling we're not the ones they take

"Too fat, too weird, too bland, too short"
Can't seem to understand but I just don't reach the court
"Too placid, too queer, can't stand, we underhand" Does anybody fit into the small % of insatiable?
Unattainable
We long for that which hates us,  the only feeling sustainable

We will never see that viewpoint of the "gods"
With over-sexualised individuals with irresistible bods
We compare ourselves to the principles of mold
We hate everyone as a result as we slowly get cold

Here's a short riddle

Ugly ducking, he's a duck who was a goose
But he was amongst a few ducks so he went loose
His very own kind couldn't love him for his looks
He wasn't "different" as they used him and abused him with their hooks

Even the animal kingdom believes in hierarchy
You're not unique, or special, you're feelings locked in a sepulchre
It's not your race, your manners, your personality or your culture

Look at yourself and find your own beauty
Don't stoop to seeking simple pleasures, wondering "Are they into me?"

I fight for my village, I fight for the peace
Although in the real world, I never decease
I'm fighting like Madara, do it for the leaf
Forget Tsukiyomi, just go back to sleep
You sheep, believing the higher-ups, lie up their sleeves
Uchia have been dead yet still we lack peace

You hate me brother, yet deep in your heart
You couldn't defeat me even from the start
Your ideology, to **** and then rebirth? Where's the sense in that
You hate the leaf and you hate the fact
You needed them to build up, to be a shinobi
I see how you treat him, but can you trust Tobi

I did this for you, so hate me all you can
The reason you stand there's according to plan
I lived in the darkness so you guys could see
I always wanted this, I always believed

And if you must **** for it all to back
I hope you open up and stay on the track
Even the darkest shinobi have reasoning
Some call me a hero, yet some say it's treasonous

I think about Shino, we both were so young
My friend was a hero, his tale left unsung
Our eyes should see clearly, yet we have been blinded
Hatred and rage bind us, even we can't define it

Is it a curse to have all this strength
Yet death finds us open, leaves us with no suspense
Had it been the leaf to hunt for my head
Would it have been better, if it was them instead

I pray you may realise your curse is to think
To cut down the ninja, you don't even blink
They fear the Uchiha, our name is a swear
They treat us like dirt, yet here we still care

Maybe Naruto is the happiest of us all
To let go of hatred, to have a trust fall

You look up to me like I was your leader
You found a hollow husk and found you were eager

The eye is eternal, our lives are short-lived
We both signed the contract, what more can we give?
To see through the red, as our comrades bleed
To not even care, they fulfilled their needs

One day you'll be lost, stuck in your own beliefs
As someone takes away your life, such is a thief
If you can not see that I pray that you know
I've always wanted you to overtake me, bro

We joke around and silence hits
At a loss for words, the end of our wits
With topics so ******, we'd never wanna be heard
With laughter so juvenile, ranging to the absurd

Then in solitude, we realise, that moments are just empty time skips
We're empty, riding on hollow vocal ships
We skip from person to person, hoping for a reaction
We hate every moment of the process and have regrets after the action
Like eating cake to have the last say
Then vomiting, in a depressing, monologue of a play

Going day by day, in a monotone manner
having nothing to say, with your Monochrome banner
Humanity carries on, while you stand idle
Like a broken lighthouse, or a stand-still Windmill

Death seems dull, yet excitement feels rare
Every breath is free, yet it catches you by a hair
Like a mannequin roaming an empty dark stage
Trying to wait for the golden years, to realise you're gatekept by your own age

And silence, louder than any bad tune
A blank space, brighter than any rising star
You sit alone, in a room of white space
Unknowing of the world around you

To make sense, of the blank space

I wake up, unbothered by the previous night(mares)
Struggling to get out of bed, its another fight (unfair)
I think of you, then remember our separation
My smile wipes of my face with no indication.

Brush my teeth, too afraid to stare at the mirror
Every time I see a glimpse of you in it, I start to quiver
place my hands on the sink to pray
stopping the pain from returning, telling it to go away

Eating breakfast, Pizza and milk
terrible eating habits, enough pent up rage to sow silk
a string spanning longer than our feelings for each other
For when we couldn't admit we couldn't tolerate one another

Leave the premises, cracking a smile
forgetting our genesis, regardless has it been a while
Angered by simplicity, yet welcome to it
Fine with lowered expectations, yet nevermore
placing ones guard higher than ever before

for this is the new normal: Bitter, hurt and none the wiser
even as I type this, I miss her and despise her
would it work? was it worth it?
Is it fate to have one curse it?

it doesn't matter, I catch my bus, unbothered
as under my breath I cuss, smothered(by regret)
my anger grows into numbness(emptiness I beget)
I reach my stop and hop off
earphones subside the voices, but their song is almost as sweet as yours was
I wish I was hit by that very same bus
so the memories can leave me like you did
but alas

this is the new normal, **** it up and carry on

I picked this up as you came to mind
on any other day this would have been a lucky find
"Does it fit?" "Is it too grand a gesture?"
I stand still as doubt starts to fester
Commitment at our age? at this point of our story?
Or is it not soon enough? should I engage and not feel sorry?
The ring is a circle that loops in my hand
From brown, blue then purple I hold on to understand
Would they laugh? Would I care? Would you even be there?
Should I ask? Would you stare, feeling scared while i was unaware?

It haunts me to know my heart went this far
It wants me  to show the start, till we do part
I don't know the future, yet I know you
Maybe we're both crazy, you feel it this strong too?
Am I overreacting? Is this just another plan
To finally see if I get you in my hands?

Regardless, I'll do it, we've made it thus far
And even though we may be stuck wherever we are
I'll look forward to putting it on, preparation for what could be
Perhaps it's destiny, leading you to me
May the future be as bloodied and grim as it wants
I just want you to be happy and grim and grin, please give me this chance
I promise to give my all, through hell and even heaven
A promise to stay true, even if the years take seven

I know that you are suffering, I know you as unwell
but when you feel the need to talk, come to me, do not dispel
Sit next to me, and hold my hand, I promise this wont hurt
I know its hard to understand, but let your emotions spurt

I see the demon at the seams, as its horrors can connect
worry not for i am here, it is my light you can expect
at least I used to think so, till you ran back to the dark
chasing a pointless emotion, curiosity made you embark
I chased after you, unaware it was you running from my grasp
was I too clingy? too naïve? too nice for you to bear?
You fell and scraped your heart on tarmac, I tended to the wound
we laughed as I gazed at those moons you seem to call your eyes
Perhaps I did get so attached, that my obsession was disguised
and then you get up, once more, running away without a care

I try to understand you, I try to compromise
the tears flow as I cry, and your words glittered in lies
your never all that busy, to not even donate an hour?
or perhaps you cut off the rotten part, like a fruit our love turned sour

I hate you, with a burning passion, yet love you all the same
I never want to see your face, yet its ignition is to blame
the sound of your voice, almost taunt- like in nature
if your vast heart was the ocean, did that make me the sailor?

I had plans of promise rings and our children's names
You had plans for a quick high leading to permanent shame
I envy that I love you, and let you use me so
for when you strike you seem to know, to always hit bellow

I'm sorry if I smothered you, I'm sorry that I cared
I'm sorry for trying to be there, when you were never aware
And yet i wish for one day, we can finally meet face to face
to see if it is anger, or love that will take place
Your expiations are fleeting, your intentions unsure
Your feelings are feigning, were they ever really pure?

Who's to know who meant what? I the bear and you the trapped cub
I left with the gapping wound

I know that you are suffering, I know you are unwell
but when you feel the need to talk, come to me, do not dispel
Sit next to me, and hold my hand, I promise this won't hurt
I know it's hard to understand, but let your emotions spurt

I see the demon at the seams, as its horrors can connect
worry not for I am here, it is my light you can expect
At least I used to think so, till you ran back to the dark
chasing a pointless emotion, curiosity made you embark
I chased after you, unaware it was you running from my grasp
Was I too clingy? too naïve? too nice for you to bear?
You fell and scraped your heart on the tarmac, I tended to the wound
We laughed as I gazed at those moons you seem to call your eyes
Perhaps I did get so attached, that my obsession was disguised
And then you get up, once more, running away without a care

I try to understand you, I try to compromise
The tears flow as I cry, and your words glitter in lies
your never all that busy, to not even donate an hour?
or perhaps you cut off the rotten part like a fruit our love turned sour

I hate you, with a burning passion, yet love you all the same
I never want to see your face, yet its ignition is to blame
the sound of your voice, almost taunt- like in nature
If your vast heart was the ocean, did that make me the sailor?

I had plans of promise rings and our children's names
You had plans for a quick high leading to permanent shame
I envy that I love you, and let you use me so
for when you strike you seem to know, to always hit below

I'm sorry if I smothered you, I'm sorry that I cared
I'm sorry for trying to be there when you were never aware
And yet I wish for one day, we can finally meet face-to-face
To see if it is anger or love that will take place
Your expiations are fleeting, your intentions unsure
Your feelings are feigning, were they ever really pure?

Who's to know who meant what? I the bear and you the trapped cub
I left with the gaping wound and you the sought-after Dub
I'll miss you truly, perhaps more than is healthy
for what we had, just you and I, made me more rich than the wealthy

In the end, its just as you wanted
To get rid of that silly nuisance that you hated
You'll never see them again,it must feel great
They'll be crying themselves to sleep while your on a clean slate

You councience is dark, empathy for the meek
They wants a reunion, it's all they seek
From A-Z furfilling every desire
You won't even text back, destroying obsessive empires

Will you appreciate what you have when it's all gone
While it writes ballads, such cheesy old songs
One becomes a memory, the other a second thought
Too late was it learnt that love can't be bought

Second chances? Once more? You ***** up once it's all done
That is your punishment for turning a person into your sun
Place them on a pedastal, watch as they cheer
Giving everyone the attention, while your left in tears

Letting Go is easy, you've shown me through your heart
Misleading myself, I should have known from the start
One stays wholesome, the other Just a black hole
One loses an acquaintance, the other their entire soul

You walk away, the leech finally off your back
He might miss you, his life still not on track
Still a mess it seems, just look at his eyes
As he swallows his words to give a broken goodbye

The devil's time, its so true
Cause it feels like hell trying to forget you
Starving, but my heart is content
With immoral flashbacks of the time we both spent

Holding the pillow tight, it hurts to think
That my imagination pictures your perfectly until i blink
Street lights shine from my room's windows
**** my ***** mind for thinking of you with innuendos

Insomnia's to blame for what a disappointed heart did
Selling your heart away as if it was some bid
The clock carries on as the blankets feel lonely
Useless are the promises you know were made solemnly

When first we met it was a treat
My heart practically at your feet
My first time, i hoped to be the one
To hear you say "im not ready" and lie under the sun

Been rejected, still hope clears away pain
Butterflies digested, yet we sing happily in the rain
Known to everyone as a warm soul
When i approach you ignore me as if I'm coal

Smiling away, your happiness drives me
Life is already a mess, emotions deprived from inside me
Funny yet, when I ignore
You ask why i act colder than before

Knowing my feelings, yet still loving the game
Loving how my every attempt is comedy found in my shame
You can't lose a connection that never existed
But i feel it for everyone who is just as persistent

the pain feels so good
just like it should
the only feeling you have left
your happiness gone by theft
no need to pretend, you can take the mask off
all you hear is but the sound of your cough
another day of being a ghost
cause for fools attention you'd never be a host
the world looks the same
the people still brings them to shame
you see no light only people
you grow stiff, like you've been glued with treacle
and just as you've truly lost contact of the world
a random greeting is hurled
politely saying "oh...hi" to avoid being rude
but to you everyone is just crude
and the best part is leaving the crowd
you've avoided contact, you feel so proud
so why feel lost in a random place
when loneliness is what you'll always face

its funny how you can go so far
with no need for boat or car
just a step out and your free
you can be whatever you wanna be
these days home feels like a cell
all you can hear is your thoughts, there not well
wish there was a place to just run away
at home you do whatever they say
everywhere feels like a jail
nothing left, just bound to fail
your freedom out of bound
all you hear is the same old sound

then you realize you cant leave
no tricks up your sleeves
the true jail is but your mind
and no exit to find
so your plan shall never do
no use hitting yourself black and blue
escaping is never easy
it leaves you queasy

you can't run away from yourself
so put you attempts back on the shelf

i don't know why i made you my air
cause now all i breath in is despair
why did we waste each others time
making our hearts believe, knowing its emotional crime
knowing deep down it would fail
but still chasing like a dog with it's tail

fate knew we would never work out
but we ignored it ,out and about
so in love we didn't need reason
our hearts performing treason
playing with our emotions
giving our deepest devotion
we knew what would happen yet we played
oh the beautiful memories we made

then your heart knew this distance was impossible
i was the one, my heart irresponsible
my mind in the cloud till you told the truth
but alas we are in our youth
distance and age was the cause
ripping my heart out with it claws

but it was weird when you said "this isn't working" that it really made me smile
cause we both knew that this would fail, calculate the miles
no tears left to cry
emotions are but dry
and just like ice melts in the rain
sometimes love turns to pain

I wonder as to how i ever found you
who made life as clear as the sky is blue
it seems so funny how from a simple "hey"
our feelings were mutual in a extravagant way
too scared to even know you that close
the time we've shared to make it the most

since day one i wondered why my mind wouldn't stop
then we text again and i wonder straight from the top
just took me a short while to never let you go
and to always be there no matter how the wind blows

i wonder how we met by miracle
to make my heartbeat sound so lyrical
the fact i'd rather leave it all
just to be with you, us short and tall

i'd delete all my music just to hear your voice
cause hearing you say "i love you" is a symphonic choice
regardless of the people who say this is wrong
i don't hear any of them cause your voice is my only song

what i wouldn't do just to stare into your eyes
just stare at you for hours and watch the time fly
even if most of the words don't rhyme
you will always be my partner in crime

this is my way of saying just how much i love you jade
just looking at the stars knowing our love will never fade
guess i'm done, and just like from the start
as long as it's known you'll always be in my heart

here i am sitting down thinking of the past
trying so hard to hold on, make the memory last
just looking around, trying to repeat "it's cool"
but i know that i'm just fortune's fool
looking around people look all the same
wondering what is the world, it's all a shame
the world has gone dark since when I was young
so many words unsaid, like songs unsung
i wish it could be like it was back then
now it seems the world is full of evil men
just listen to music, make yourself confined
I mean look around you, there's nothing to find
our eyes forgot what it's like to cry
make the heart stiff,of how hard we try
our body often compared to a temple
all the words to make us feel mental
here i am standing in the rain
its the only thing making me sane
done waiting for things to be great
because i'm already tired of my fate
ever get sick and tired, of being sick and tired?
your body and routine like a robot, always wired
think of all the people that you met
how each had there own way to make you upset
just here to wait for the bitter end
rather don't speak, you don't want to offend
like a ****** waiting for her next customer to have "fun"
ashamed, so use to the feeling she  waits patiently for it to be done
so welcome to our world where no one gives a ....
if your trying to enjoy it then i wish you the best of luck