It seems like pain and regret are your best friends because our nights together seem only to lead to them.

We’ve been lying to each other about our nights spent apart, hiding the evidence behind plastic smiles to spare each other another broken heart.

I know what you did when you left my company for a girl you’ve claimed to have missed. I will not get jealous and call this thing between us quits, but tell me, does she touch you here like this?

I see that she is beautiful, perhaps the most beautiful by far. I see that she makes you feel good about who you are. So tonight, I will ******* until you are too tired to leave because although she’s what you want, I am what you need.

I guess she found out about our secret rendezvous and now she doesn’t want you anymore. Here you are crying and pleading to spend the night on my floor. Begging me to shelter you from the emptiness that presents itself in these cold, lonely streets have to offer.

So, I step aside and lead you to your favorite place, entangled in my satin sheets. But I must warn you, these nights, past, present and for however long we have left mean nothing to me. I’ve been doing this for so long, I promise you I’ve seen it all.

First, you’ll hate her, then you’ll want me; then you’ll miss her and you’ll hate me. I know you so well. I know your routine.
This is all just a game to me. We mean nothing to each other. This is nothing new.

I told you, a long time ago, not to get involved with a girl like me because you are solely a means to escape my present reality.
So, don’t promise me that you won’t regret me like doing a line of ivory, like the tattoos on your skin or like taking the wrong pill. Don’t promise me that when you go back to her that you’ll remember me.

So, I’ll own your soul for tonight only so that each time you **** her, it’s my face you’ll see.

Written by: Helene J.C. Armbrister

I’d rather be your enemy,
Than any friend you think I’d be.
Come and talk to me,
I’m easy to reach.
I dropped the world for you before,
So what makes you think,
I wouldn’t do it once more?
Your pride and insecurities stop you,
Put them to the side.
If they changed the way I felt,
I would have left you by this time.
If only you knew,
This feeling I still have for you.
Friends means the end of me.
I’d much rather be your enemy.

15 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

I took the bus from the CBD all the way to Hatfield just to free my mind and receive closure from you.
Let’s vibe out and listen to our favourite songs by Drake and reminisce about the love that we’ll never get back.
How long can I keep holding on when all this pain becomes a reflection of everything that’s bound to go wrong?
Was I not deserving of the kind of love and happiness that I had consistently given to you?
I yearn for a reality worth dreaming about, but lately my heart has been paralysed by doubt.
Time is expensive like a Richard Mille watch but every minute I spent with you was worth it.
When my blue skies fade to grey, I listen to songs by The Weeknd and reminisce about you every single day.
I took the bus from the CBD all the way to Hatfield just to free my mind and receive closure from you.
Now I spend my days listening to sad songs while reminiscing about the love that I’ll never get back.
These words are proof that I’m still recovering from the heartbreak I once felt a while ago in Hatfield.

The music beating in the damp dark room made her spin in half circles. Her hips swung side to side as her arms lifted into the air. The glint of jewelry sparkling in the dim lighting of the packed space.
A soft smile, lips curled just at the edges with eyes closed to the world around her. Dark auburn locks hung past her shoulders in loose waves. By the gods above and below she was a lovely sight.
Those who's eyes fell and lingered about her frame watched in admiration. Thick thighs and strong shoulders rippling under soft brown skin, exposed by the strapless tank she wore.
Men tried to pull her into a dance of grinding hips and over-reaching touches. Women watched carelessly, few approached her. Always managing to slip away from the heavier petting she would drag the ladies who she saw staring with desire.
Enticing as she was few recognized what she was; a deceiver of fools, a heartbreaker. With her pretty smiles and soft eyes.
A light press of lips against the shell of your ear, a warm hand just grazing against heated skin, and a laugh that has your heart beating frantically.
Soft as a dream kisses just as sweet. She is the best thing you will ever have, touch, feel, breath.
She sinks into the earth as the sun rises in the east.
Never to be seen.