Its been a month, I can seem to find
The words to say, or get you outta my mind
How I wish you looked back, to give closure
Knowledge won't end suffering, lack of exposure
How it must feel, to get rid of me
How my heart yearns, for what may seem
To be the old you I created in my head
Was it all a dream? Should I go back to bed
And even now, even now, I still defend your name
Even now, even now, I still take all the blame
For my words might attack you and cause you to leave
But you made it so thats all I had under my sleeves
I regret, that words cut so deep
I'm upset that i'm losing sleep
Wish I'd forget, Like you seem to do
What'd I expect? Is this a sign from You
And even now, even now, I wish you'd feel the same
Even now, even now, I wish you would come claim
The broken pieces of my heart I can't fix
Friendships turn toxic when romance is in the mix
But I guess, it would be mature
To just let go, and to be assured
That your life is going par for the course
Maybe my existence was a part of the cause
Where you couldn't seem to move on from the lack of resource
Even now, I wish I cut out my tongue
Even now, I wish we still stayed young
I wish forgiveness was as easy as the books make it seem
You were book-nerd and explained how they made you cry a stream
Now I see that not all books have happy endings
Some don't even end, wasting the time you're spending
Even now, you're a muse I abuse
And even now, I just wish I could choose
what thoughts entered in my head
And if it would affect you if you ever read
Even now, I wish you the best
A song I had in my mind, its not perfect but I try