I wake up, unbothered by the previous night(mares)
Struggling to get out of bed, its another fight (unfair)
I think of you, then remember our separation
My smile wipes of my face with no indication.

Brush my teeth, too afraid to stare at the mirror
Every time I see a glimpse of you in it, I start to quiver
place my hands on the sink to pray
stopping the pain from returning, telling it to go away

Eating breakfast, Pizza and milk
terrible eating habits, enough pent up rage to sow silk
a string spanning longer than our feelings for each other
For when we couldn't admit we couldn't tolerate one another

Leave the premises, cracking a smile
forgetting our genesis, regardless has it been a while
Angered by simplicity, yet welcome to it
Fine with lowered expectations, yet nevermore
placing ones guard higher than ever before

for this is the new normal: Bitter, hurt and none the wiser
even as I type this, I miss her and despise her
would it work? was it worth it?
Is it fate to have one curse it?

it doesn't matter, I catch my bus, unbothered
as under my breath I cuss, smothered(by regret)
my anger grows into numbness(emptiness I beget)
I reach my stop and hop off
earphones subside the voices, but their song is almost as sweet as yours was
I wish I was hit by that very same bus
so the memories can leave me like you did
but alas

this is the new normal, **** it up and carry on

I picked this up as you came to mind
on any other day this would have been a lucky find
"Does it fit?" "Is it too grand a gesture?"
I stand still as doubt starts to fester
Commitment at our age? at this point of our story?
Or is it not soon enough? should I engage and not feel sorry?
The ring is a circle that loops in my hand
From brown, blue then purple I hold on to understand
Would they laugh? Would I care? Would you even be there?
Should I ask? Would you stare, feeling scared while i was unaware?

It haunts me to know my heart went this far
It wants me  to show the start, till we do part
I don't know the future, yet I know you
Maybe we're both crazy, you feel it this strong too?
Am I overreacting? Is this just another plan
To finally see if I get you in my hands?

Regardless, I'll do it, we've made it thus far
And even though we may be stuck wherever we are
I'll look forward to putting it on, preparation for what could be
Perhaps it's destiny, leading you to me
May the future be as bloodied and grim as it wants
I just want you to be happy and grim and grin, please give me this chance
I promise to give my all, through hell and even heaven
A promise to stay true, even if the years take seven

I know that you are suffering, I know you as unwell
but when you feel the need to talk, come to me, do not dispel
Sit next to me, and hold my hand, I promise this wont hurt
I know its hard to understand, but let your emotions spurt

I see the demon at the seams, as its horrors can connect
worry not for i am here, it is my light you can expect
at least I used to think so, till you ran back to the dark
chasing a pointless emotion, curiosity made you embark
I chased after you, unaware it was you running from my grasp
was I too clingy? too naïve? too nice for you to bear?
You fell and scraped your heart on tarmac, I tended to the wound
we laughed as I gazed at those moons you seem to call your eyes
Perhaps I did get so attached, that my obsession was disguised
and then you get up, once more, running away without a care

I try to understand you, I try to compromise
the tears flow as I cry, and your words glittered in lies
your never all that busy, to not even donate an hour?
or perhaps you cut off the rotten part, like a fruit our love turned sour

I hate you, with a burning passion, yet love you all the same
I never want to see your face, yet its ignition is to blame
the sound of your voice, almost taunt- like in nature
if your vast heart was the ocean, did that make me the sailor?

I had plans of promise rings and our children's names
You had plans for a quick high leading to permanent shame
I envy that I love you, and let you use me so
for when you strike you seem to know, to always hit bellow

I'm sorry if I smothered you, I'm sorry that I cared
I'm sorry for trying to be there, when you were never aware
And yet i wish for one day, we can finally meet face to face
to see if it is anger, or love that will take place
Your expiations are fleeting, your intentions unsure
Your feelings are feigning, were they ever really pure?

Who's to know who meant what? I the bear and you the trapped cub
I left with the gapping wound

I know that you are suffering, I know you are unwell
but when you feel the need to talk, come to me, do not dispel
Sit next to me, and hold my hand, I promise this won't hurt
I know it's hard to understand, but let your emotions spurt

I see the demon at the seams, as its horrors can connect
worry not for I am here, it is my light you can expect
At least I used to think so, till you ran back to the dark
chasing a pointless emotion, curiosity made you embark
I chased after you, unaware it was you running from my grasp
Was I too clingy? too naïve? too nice for you to bear?
You fell and scraped your heart on the tarmac, I tended to the wound
We laughed as I gazed at those moons you seem to call your eyes
Perhaps I did get so attached, that my obsession was disguised
And then you get up, once more, running away without a care

I try to understand you, I try to compromise
The tears flow as I cry, and your words glitter in lies
your never all that busy, to not even donate an hour?
or perhaps you cut off the rotten part like a fruit our love turned sour

I hate you, with a burning passion, yet love you all the same
I never want to see your face, yet its ignition is to blame
the sound of your voice, almost taunt- like in nature
If your vast heart was the ocean, did that make me the sailor?

I had plans of promise rings and our children's names
You had plans for a quick high leading to permanent shame
I envy that I love you, and let you use me so
for when you strike you seem to know, to always hit below

I'm sorry if I smothered you, I'm sorry that I cared
I'm sorry for trying to be there when you were never aware
And yet I wish for one day, we can finally meet face-to-face
To see if it is anger or love that will take place
Your expiations are fleeting, your intentions unsure
Your feelings are feigning, were they ever really pure?

Who's to know who meant what? I the bear and you the trapped cub
I left with the gaping wound and you the sought-after Dub
I'll miss you truly, perhaps more than is healthy
for what we had, just you and I, made me more rich than the wealthy

In the end, its just as you wanted
To get rid of that silly nuisance that you hated
You'll never see them again,it must feel great
They'll be crying themselves to sleep while your on a clean slate

You councience is dark, empathy for the meek
They wants a reunion, it's all they seek
From A-Z furfilling every desire
You won't even text back, destroying obsessive empires

Will you appreciate what you have when it's all gone
While it writes ballads, such cheesy old songs
One becomes a memory, the other a second thought
Too late was it learnt that love can't be bought

Second chances? Once more? You ***** up once it's all done
That is your punishment for turning a person into your sun
Place them on a pedastal, watch as they cheer
Giving everyone the attention, while your left in tears

Letting Go is easy, you've shown me through your heart
Misleading myself, I should have known from the start
One stays wholesome, the other Just a black hole
One loses an acquaintance, the other their entire soul

You walk away, the leech finally off your back
He might miss you, his life still not on track
Still a mess it seems, just look at his eyes
As he swallows his words to give a broken goodbye

The devil's time, its so true
Cause it feels like hell trying to forget you
Starving, but my heart is content
With immoral flashbacks of the time we both spent

Holding the pillow tight, it hurts to think
That my imagination pictures your perfectly until i blink
Street lights shine from my room's windows
**** my ***** mind for thinking of you with innuendos

Insomnia's to blame for what a disappointed heart did
Selling your heart away as if it was some bid
The clock carries on as the blankets feel lonely
Useless are the promises you know were made solemnly

When first we met it was a treat
My heart practically at your feet
My first time, i hoped to be the one
To hear you say "im not ready" and lie under the sun

Been rejected, still hope clears away pain
Butterflies digested, yet we sing happily in the rain
Known to everyone as a warm soul
When i approach you ignore me as if I'm coal

Smiling away, your happiness drives me
Life is already a mess, emotions deprived from inside me
Funny yet, when I ignore
You ask why i act colder than before

Knowing my feelings, yet still loving the game
Loving how my every attempt is comedy found in my shame
You can't lose a connection that never existed
But i feel it for everyone who is just as persistent

the pain feels so good
just like it should
the only feeling you have left
your happiness gone by theft
no need to pretend, you can take the mask off
all you hear is but the sound of your cough
another day of being a ghost
cause for fools attention you'd never be a host
the world looks the same
the people still brings them to shame
you see no light only people
you grow stiff, like you've been glued with treacle
and just as you've truly lost contact of the world
a random greeting is hurled
politely saying "oh...hi" to avoid being rude
but to you everyone is just crude
and the best part is leaving the crowd
you've avoided contact, you feel so proud
so why feel lost in a random place
when loneliness is what you'll always face

its funny how you can go so far
with no need for boat or car
just a step out and your free
you can be whatever you wanna be
these days home feels like a cell
all you can hear is your thoughts, there not well
wish there was a place to just run away
at home you do whatever they say
everywhere feels like a jail
nothing left, just bound to fail
your freedom out of bound
all you hear is the same old sound

then you realize you cant leave
no tricks up your sleeves
the true jail is but your mind
and no exit to find
so your plan shall never do
no use hitting yourself black and blue
escaping is never easy
it leaves you queasy

you can't run away from yourself
so put you attempts back on the shelf

i don't know why i made you my air
cause now all i breath in is despair
why did we waste each others time
making our hearts believe, knowing its emotional crime
knowing deep down it would fail
but still chasing like a dog with it's tail

fate knew we would never work out
but we ignored it ,out and about
so in love we didn't need reason
our hearts performing treason
playing with our emotions
giving our deepest devotion
we knew what would happen yet we played
oh the beautiful memories we made

then your heart knew this distance was impossible
i was the one, my heart irresponsible
my mind in the cloud till you told the truth
but alas we are in our youth
distance and age was the cause
ripping my heart out with it claws

but it was weird when you said "this isn't working" that it really made me smile
cause we both knew that this would fail, calculate the miles
no tears left to cry
emotions are but dry
and just like ice melts in the rain
sometimes love turns to pain

I wonder as to how i ever found you
who made life as clear as the sky is blue
it seems so funny how from a simple "hey"
our feelings were mutual in a extravagant way
too scared to even know you that close
the time we've shared to make it the most

since day one i wondered why my mind wouldn't stop
then we text again and i wonder straight from the top
just took me a short while to never let you go
and to always be there no matter how the wind blows

i wonder how we met by miracle
to make my heartbeat sound so lyrical
the fact i'd rather leave it all
just to be with you, us short and tall

i'd delete all my music just to hear your voice
cause hearing you say "i love you" is a symphonic choice
regardless of the people who say this is wrong
i don't hear any of them cause your voice is my only song

what i wouldn't do just to stare into your eyes
just stare at you for hours and watch the time fly
even if most of the words don't rhyme
you will always be my partner in crime

this is my way of saying just how much i love you jade
just looking at the stars knowing our love will never fade
guess i'm done, and just like from the start
as long as it's known you'll always be in my heart

here i am sitting down thinking of the past
trying so hard to hold on, make the memory last
just looking around, trying to repeat "it's cool"
but i know that i'm just fortune's fool
looking around people look all the same
wondering what is the world, it's all a shame
the world has gone dark since when I was young
so many words unsaid, like songs unsung
i wish it could be like it was back then
now it seems the world is full of evil men
just listen to music, make yourself confined
I mean look around you, there's nothing to find
our eyes forgot what it's like to cry
make the heart stiff,of how hard we try
our body often compared to a temple
all the words to make us feel mental
here i am standing in the rain
its the only thing making me sane
done waiting for things to be great
because i'm already tired of my fate
ever get sick and tired, of being sick and tired?
your body and routine like a robot, always wired
think of all the people that you met
how each had there own way to make you upset
just here to wait for the bitter end
rather don't speak, you don't want to offend
like a ****** waiting for her next customer to have "fun"
ashamed, so use to the feeling she  waits patiently for it to be done
so welcome to our world where no one gives a ....
if your trying to enjoy it then i wish you the best of luck

life use to be so kind
now there's no hope left to find
funny how dumb we were back then
only to grow p and have to pretend
happiness us to be a easy thing
now its as expensive as gold and bling
we try so hard to act like we're happy
but all we know is we feel sappy
don't know why i can't find peace
now i'm stuck on a mental lease
the things we did in the past
the hopes we had that it would last
trying so hard to just live "fine"
cause in this world there is no yours and mine
wishing for things to be divine
your hopes right on a thin line

no need to pretend
your close to reaching the end
the world around you turns so dark
your losing your spark
so deaf, not hearing the dogs bark
or the chirping of a lark
the world disappears for a second and you wonder why
is it your your eyes and mind showing you lies
you waking up only to see the day is done
now you can go home and have some "fun"
which is basically doing nothing and sleeping around
although this sounds profound
it's a daily schedule, it wont change
no need to bother and engage
it'll all be over pretty soon
just look with high hopes at the moon
although dreams don't always seem to last
it's a painful blast
just hold on till it's over
till you feel emotionally sober
wishing you still had imaginary friends
now the pain never seems to end
it's all just a bitter dream
you'll wake up and see a gentle stream
although for some it seems incomplete
so it's fair to admit defeat

as much as i respect what your heart needs

there's just a small thing my heart never reads

being as stubborn as i am, it just wont believe

just something so small, it feels not Deceived

i read it as an offer to just be friends

something inside me just wont let it end

as much as i want to let you go

the heart disagrees, that's not how it wants to flow

it gets the point, it just wants to see

if truly your heart has let it be

it hears all the issues and waits for the truth

not as easy as pulling out a tooth

just to let go, it somehow wont give peace

it doesn't remember signing any contract

always just wanting to be in contact

thinking way back to memories of the past

not caring about it, anything to make it last

as much as my mind sees it fit to let in

a beat in my heart says that wont be a win

if breakups were easy then this would feel fine

something inside me refuses to you not being mine

in retrospect, my love will never stop

not just a phase, no feelings to chop

your heart has reason to feel like it does

my heart will always be one to make a fuss

i guess what i'm saying, if its over, i refuse

i love you so much, you've become my poetic muse

distance can stop this but the heart can't deny

its not that easy,it wont just comply

if this is over, i wont sit i fear

ill just wait and see, ill be right here

finally sleep feels like a dream

like a gentle little blue stream

ive always waited for someone like you

your beutiful face, your eyes so blue



i never knew how lucky i am

my heart to open like a clam

at first it seemed like just good friends

now hoping that the feeling will never end



i guess you can say loves a drug

cause i get my fix from every hug

since ive met you my heart has been unlocked

how my mind has cleared, its finally unblocked



although we met across a screen

my life is more brighter, the grass more green

i have no regrets in what i say,true and all

cause for your love id always take the fall



people can say what they want its fine

but with me and you its always divine

the world may say my heart is in the sky

but your love is the reason it has wings to fly



mesuring our love on the map, with the contour lines

i don't care what they say,my feelings wont be confined

counting the months till we get to meet, we'll meet one day

cause for your love, ill always make a way

Regardless of how far we are

our love for each other will always be on par

although we never met face to face

when it comes to you my heart will always be up for the chase

how lucky i was to ever meet you

I fell in love,caught it like the common flu

your blue eyes made me feel astonished

knowing all the bad has been demolished

hugging my pillow thinking of you all the time

loving you so much it should be a crime

so until then i know we shall meet

cause for your love id never admit defeat



me and you both laying in a park

right near the brown tree bark

the place being dimly lit by stars

there for hours, staring at the sky afar

both our hands together in harmony

the next best thing to a romantic oddysey

and for awhile time seems to freeze

all you feel is a divine breeze

slowly our lips come closer and closer

hearts beating like a wild rollercoaster

we finally kiss and time is back

so caught up that we lost track

we end the night on a high note

as we leave the park and i give you my coat.

they say love is what we need
just to keep us up to speed
yet its something that leaves so fast
how does anyone make it last

look at the past,hoping it was like that
nowadays we just go and crawl onto a mat
saying you don't know how your "forever" is gone
so surprised it didn't last that long
no use in believing that love is fair
it leaves your heart racing like a hare
and when it ends,you have no power
it leaves you bitter,oh so sour
best to just stay away
you don't wanna be hurt in another way