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8.5k · Oct 2018
Una't Huli
PJ Oct 2018
Ito na ang una't huli
ang una at huling tula
para sayo
sapagkat ang tagal na dapat
ko tung tinigil
Tinigal ang pag ka tanga ko.
Ang hirap diba
sa simula pa lng
para na akong sira
kasi sa simula pa lng
wala na akong magawa
bigla na lng ako nahulog sayo
at sa lahat ng iyng pinag gagawa
kahit maliit na mga bagay
ay napapansin ko
sa pag kumpas ng iyung mga kamay
sa matatamis **** mga ngiti
sa mapupungay **** mga mata
ako talaga ay na bighani
pero anu ba't
ang hirap talaga
pero sinabi ko na may paghanga ako sayo
ayun na ang pang gitna
nagkakilala tayo ng lubos
ang paghanga
ay naging pagmamahal
d mo naman ako binigo
minahal mo din ako
pero bakit ganun
d naging tayo?
ang hirap diba
kasi kahit ikaw
d mo yan nasagot
ilang taon din ako nag hintay
aking sinta
pero sa mga taong yun
hirap na hirap na ako
pero ako ay naghihintay parin
na parang tanga
umaasang may tayo parin sa huli
pero wala pala
kaya nag paalam ako
kasi d ko na kaya
nanliliit na ako sa sarili ko
bakit d kita mapa oo
tapos biglang sinabi mo
minahal mo talaga ako
akala mo makakahintay ako
kahit gaano katagal
sabi ko oo
kaya sana kitang hintayin
kahit gaano katagal
kung sana sa paghihintay ko
wala kang kasamang iba.
kaya
ito na ang una't huli
na tula
para sayo
kasi pagod na ako
sa paghihintay sa wala
salamat sa iyo
at nagising na ako.
gusto ko makawala lahat ng sakit , d ko naisip na ganito pala ang mag sulat para sayo buti na lng hanggang guhit lng ako. mas masakita pala pag naka sulat na kaysa mga larawan lng na aking mga napinta
4.7k · Aug 2018
sand castle
PJ Aug 2018
Why do I write
When my castles fall
And every time it takes its toll
I tried to protect it
By guarding the shore
For tides take
What ever I make


My castles are sand
I know its bland
But like my poems
I know its dry
But I always try
To make it glorious
Though  my words are not luxurious
For my words are true
No matter how plain


I will protect my castle
No matter what
Even if the tide takes It back
Cause if it falls
I will make it again
Like my poems
Will continue no matter
How much I'm in Pain
I will continue to write no matter how hard it is.
1.0k · Oct 2018
Tired
PJ Oct 2018
Yes I'm tired
so very tired
restless
sleepless
but I don't care
will push through
with all the will
even if I be ill
cause hope is present
the dream is near
head held high
will climb the summit
and raise my hand
and scream
I win.
839 · Nov 2018
Dear Self
PJ Nov 2018
I know you're afraid
but keep those fears
keep them near
face them
everyday
until the time comes
you don''t need too

I know how badly you want to cry
let those tears fall
until you cant cry no more
until its dry

I know you miss her
keep her in your mind and heart
until you realise
she's still there
no matter what

I know you are confused
but keep seeking yourself
keep searching
don't stop
until the day
your question will be answered

Dear self
Keep pushing
keep seeking
fight on
a reminder for myself , specially right now I need this!
813 · Aug 2018
To the World
PJ Aug 2018
To the world I didn't made sense


I didn't made sense
when I'm awake and the world was asleep

I didn't made sense
When I wrote endless scribbles

I didn't made sense
When I was standing outside when it was pouring.

I didn't made sense
When I laugh when it hurts the most

I didn't made sense
When I smiled, even when Im sad


Yes I didn't made any sense doing all of those but I dont need the world to understand me. I just need only one.
Yes its hard to find someone who will understand you, many will think you're crazy and have lost it. But Continue to find that someone who will.
714 · Jan 2018
Blank State
PJ Jan 2018
There I lay in the middle of a room with 4 walls and a light staring straight right at me. Glaring like it want to say something but there was no sound. Then I laugh, its funny because even for a second there I really thought that , the light would tell me something. After a while I can hear a familiar sound, It was rain hitting the roof. Again it felt like it was saying something and yet again I started to laugh for there was no voice and i'm fooling myself how could rain tell me something. For hours I never stop staring at the ceiling with a blank thought, not even thinking of anything. Then I realized its dark, I'm pretty sure the light was on a little while back and no one had entered the room to turn it off. In my mind i'm sure its a blackout but i'm comfortable to where I lay. I didn't bothered to check. Now I'm staring at ceiling again but there was no light. The light that has been glaring at me  earlier.  It was pitch black. The darkness seemed to be telling me something yet in my head. Is still blank state. Then there was silence the rain have stop. It was so silent that I can hear my heart beating and even my breathing. The silence was absolutely deafening. I was scared I don't know why, as I feel the room getting and getting smaller in the darkness. The silence starts to hurt. I'm getting flash backs of my past, all of those memories sink in,  in a flash. Now i'm truly scared. I tried to move but my body wont. I tried to scream but theres only whispers coming out my lips. The silence I was experiencing was truly different and the darkness was a new. Then I heard it. Loud and clear. It struck me and then I realized. What was the message. Then a lighting flashed, then the lights turned on. Thunders roared then it broke the silence. I just immediately stood up. Look at the clock, it was already 3 am, Then I said to myself what a good day to LIVE.
sometimes it takes only the thunder and lighting to remind you that you are alive.
531 · Sep 2018
Fight On
PJ Sep 2018
My mind is clouded
And I'm dumbfounded
My hearts in doubt
My soul is in blue
My body still works
Cause the world
didn't cared
Dont have no clue

The world didn't
Stop when I was sad
Nor it slowed down
When I was Glad

Life continued,
It always will
Even if you're not well
Or what emotion
You're going to sell
It will carry on
Thats the truth

Its the reason of this mask
To carry on
Even if I'm like a robot
Busted and full of rust.
I have Allot of writings when I'm sad practically most of my writings are written when I was in blue. But it didnt stop me. I always need to get out there and join the world, cause I know I can't stop the world nor it will stop for me. A harsh reality.
528 · Jan 2018
Lost
PJ Jan 2018
Tic Toc Tic Toc
The clock is always winding up
Waiting for me to make a mistake
Even when I have nothing at stake
For I have gambled  
everything in Love
So when I lose
I only lose myself
In this world
Thats on the mercy
Of a clock.
I dont know
523 · Jan 2018
Demons Within
PJ Jan 2018
The demons within me is far from scary.
Those demons are locked up so deep
that no man can dig them out.
Shackled, *******.

I’m not afraid of death.
I stared death through the eyes of the reaper.
The demons that I hide is something no one should meet.
Those demons might be bound by chain.
but I still hold the key.
It might be wrong to release my demons
but Its not right to cross me.
fighting with the inner demons
483 · Jan 2018
Darkness my old friend.
PJ Jan 2018
I'm Nyctophilia Don't get me wrong its not what you think. Darkness is one those thing that people tend to avoid. Yes its easy to be scared when you don't know what lies ahead. I'm afraid of the dark when I was young simply because I couldn't see anything but when I tried to focus my eyes I saw the silhouette of whats in it. It might night be as clear as what light can bring but it the same thing. The trees, houses, and the other things. Then I realize how good darkness is. In a dark night you could see far greater things than what you could see in the light of the morning.  Though Darkness is always portrayed as the worst time of our lives, Lets not forget that in those times we learned the best lesson life can bring. Its like our future we don't know what it brings or what could happen. What we are in control is the current time the Present. Yet like darkness its the same we are in control if are going to be scared to not. Face darkness until it becomes your friend. Remember in the morning you can only see the sun but in the night you can see countless stars with the bonus view of the moon and if your lucky there is also a shooting star in store for you.
To those who are afraid in the dark don't be its a beautiful sight to see also,!
468 · Dec 2018
Untitled
PJ Dec 2018
Depressed, Sad, Burdened, Anxious, Scared?
Yes, Im all of that and more
I dont think I will last
But with writing
I want to stay
In this world
Thats hard
to live in
But not hard
To fell in love with
450 · Aug 2018
Darkness my old friend
PJ Aug 2018
Darkness my old friend
I write to you again
Thank you for hiding the truth
The tears and the bruise

I'm in pain again right now
Pls save me somehow
Cause I'm tired of all the things
That should make me glad
It's the opposite I say
They are the ones who makes me sad.

Too bad you can't hide the noise
I badly want to scream
I don't know how much I can take
Pls bring me with you
Before I wake.

I'm thinking ill again
But there's nothing more to gain
This might be the end
My last letter to you.
So Again take me with you!
414 · Nov 2018
3 Steps, 3 Words, 3 Places
PJ Nov 2018
1ST STEP is to tell her you "LOVE" her
Take her to the SEA
and understand her depth
don't be afraid of the 1st step
  don't worry for love is cheap
its also a big leap
for love is priceless
and its also timeless
        
2ND is to take it slow
enjoy every moment
cherish it all the time
climb every MOUNTAIN
that both of you & her
will face and
"TRUST" that you both
will see the summit
Together.


3RD is to have
"FAITH"
and to remain
faithful
with each other
its time to take
flight
and to stay
in the SKIES
you and her
deserves the feeling of
cloud nine.
The recipe of a happy relationship , this might be true for others, or this might not be but I truly believe its for me.
412 · Dec 2018
Im Tired
PJ Dec 2018
Today it will be
different when I say
I'm tired
cause

I'm tired of standing back
when I know I
was born to stand out

I'm tired of waiting
for opportunity to knock
that's why I will be the one
to knock on opportunity's door

I'm tired of the grass being
greener in the other side
that's why I will plant on mine.

I'm tired of being better than yesterday
that's why I will be the best today

I'm tired of taking a step at a time
that's why I'm taking all the steps every time

I'm tired of having only Plan A
that's why I will have Plan B-Z
even 1,2,3.

cause I'm tired of being mediocre
when I can be best
of what I think I can do better
395 · Jan 2018
The boy who became a man.
PJ Jan 2018
I dream to be more than I am.
The dream to become another one.
The one who wants to make things right.
So I always tried to be shined with the light.

Tonight I will write something that I might like,
That may allow me to take flight.
and show you what its like.
To be a boy who wanted to be a man.

Go to the light.
Its the right path they say.
It where you will find the way.
The summit, the peak, the end.
and claim everything.

But the darkness calls me
and I couldn't do a thing.
It wanted me to stay.
Like i'm its prey.

No matter how fast I run it pulls me back.
Now I realize that to be a man.
I needed a plan.
Because going through the dark
is not like a walk in the park.
I might need to crawl.
and bump into a wall.
but It wont stop me
because in the end I need to stand tall.
for darkness is just part of the journey.
A path to make, A chance to take.
So that boy may be able to become a man.
Thanks!
311 · Jan 2018
Beauty in her Chaos
PJ Jan 2018
There she is, in her own puddle
Cryin her heart
like theres no tomorrow
In her own shell that is hallow
she thought everything was in dire
Like everything is on fire.

Shes lost
Thats what I see
Looking at her going
Back and forth
Left and Right
Everything around her
Seemed like
Black and White
And she lost the will to fight.


But she has no clue
That in her chaos
She's beautiful and true

Truly she is.
A beautiful mess
A wonderful train wreck
The prettiest eyesore
And the loveliest sight for me.
You truly are beautiful
282 · Jan 2018
Untitled
PJ Jan 2018
For years im always at awe.
With your writings.
For years I have been a big fan of you.
You have that special touch with every verses you write.
And I couldnt say no more.
You encourage me to write.
And I have written
Allot of stories but more of you.
I dont know why but I have kept searchin for your poems.
The day you have deleted or maybe blocked me from your tumblr.
I felt devastated for I was obsessed
And I was already drowned by how deep you write.
Now I followed you here but I cant even follow you.
For Im scared and Im still puzzled.
May this reach you.
My dear partner gwyn.
Gwyn I miss your soul in your poems and I dont know what to feel no more.
255 · Jan 2018
Cup of Feelings
PJ Jan 2018
Sadness echoes throughout my body.
Vibrates deep into my shallow soul
Radiating outside in form of tears
I guess my heart never learned
that you're already gone
and it really hurts
The time you
whispered
goodbye.
BUT
ME
I
ALL OF ME
WILL ALWAYS
WAIT FOR YOU
my empty cup of feelings!
231 · Feb 1
ironic
PJ Feb 1
Is it ironic?
      that I lost everyone
Who promised they wont leave me?
I didnt pushed them away. I clinged to them until I reached the feeling that Im already bothering them
215 · Nov 2018
In Truth
PJ Nov 2018
It might rain
on your happiest day

There will darkness
on your light

There will be monsters
inside the kindest people

In every war
there are battles you will
lose

when you are pushed
there will bruises
when your up

Your cuts will eventually
be scars

There is sadness
behind those smiles
be kind to people we dont what they are going through right now they might be smiling or extremely irritated just understand that we cant be all light and happy everytime!
198 · Jan 2018
The Shadows of the Past
PJ Jan 2018
For days now im having allot of flash backs. From every moment of my life from good to bad. Even those memories I kept inside not because they were nightmares but because they were beautiful dreams and Im afraid that it wont happen again.  Its blackout and now its raining hard. I decided to sit near the door just far enough not to get wet. But outside it was like the inside of our house , it was pitch black but the silhouette of the trees are clear. Then comes an airplane rerouting it seemed for it circled away. Then a flash back came . And again it started. I remember all the beautiful things that happened to me in the past years. I smiled then a car cross in front of the house the light was bright then another batch of memories came now it was those memories that you want to be just nightmares but it wasnt, Now im having shivers and tears fall. The past has hunted me down again. For years I tried to fight my way out but for years I failed. Now I decided to run because I think thats the only way to be free from these binds but only to see myself shackled up once again.  As the shackles felt heavy. I felt giving up. Lighting Flashed. Then I saw a face. Then thunders roared then it vanished. Who was that. I ask myself , the heavy shackles  felt a little lighter now. A lightning flashed again then comes another face. Comes the thunders then it fade. The shackles felt lighter and lighter as faces vanishes. Then Again I ask  myself who were those . For minutes lightning flashed and thunders roared. A face shows up and vanishes away. Im still puzzled but then I realized who were they. They where my demons, my past that I was so afraid off. Only then I have realized that those demons are not locked up anymore because I didnt hide them I already conquered them. And I was running away from mere illusions. My past was really behind me now and they are not nightmares but just memories. Then I smiled again.
dont fear the memories, for they are only reminders that you have overcome them.
195 · Nov 2018
Poem Heals?
PJ Nov 2018
I fixed you with a thousand poems
         yet you broke me with only one!
why did it have to end with one poem! why did you just gave up, why didnt you let me reply, why did you disappear!
192 · Sep 2018
Smile
PJ Sep 2018
I will hug you
When your down
Will make you feel safe
To take away the frown
I will be gladly
Be your clown
Just to make that frown
Upside down.
smile I'm here will never leave you. Will protect you. Will make you feel secured. Will make you smile no matter what.
181 · Oct 2018
I'm not okay
PJ Oct 2018
I'm not okay
Okay?
even if I lie I am
my face will show I'm not
for my life is in knots
all *******
and in shambles
my head is in scrambles
don't know what to do
or what can I do

I'm walking in circles
but i'm still lost
and I feel I was just a lost cost
I'm sorry I gambled
in you.
I really thought I won
but why do I feel I'm the one
who lost.
4th poem for a friend. I dont know how much can I convey but Im sorry I can only just do this.
180 · Feb 2018
Untitled
PJ Feb 2018
She wanted to drown herself
In her own puddle
But her tears is still to shallow
Her body feels numb and hollow
She tried to run like theres no tomorrow.
Thinking that someone will follow
Now she's broken and a mess
But she realized she couldn't care less.
Uhm I don't know what to put here
167 · Jan 2018
Dreams are Illusions
PJ Jan 2018
Dreams are illusions
for all of us.

Its not real it all made up
in our mind, even in our heart
but for only this day
take a step
take risk
for all of us may have a dreamt
something impossible
man always dreamed
of something we thought
impossible to be achieved
yet today
we are flying
and have set foot on the moon
and we are not stopping there.

Dreams are only illusions
if we dont take steps.
if  we dont risk it.
if we forget about it.
dreams are illusion to those who forget.
165 · Jan 2018
Its Safe
PJ Jan 2018
Don't run away
It's safe here.
It's safe from anxiety
It's safe from pain
It's safe from prejudice
It's safe from suffering
It's safe from trouble

Stay and continue to write
your words are special
no matter where you are
or who you are.

Stay and Write
Write and give hope
For yourself and for others!
Write and give hope!
165 · Aug 2018
I wont Cry
PJ Aug 2018
I will not cry
I will hold onto my tears
Even if I'm swallowed by my fears
Promise I wont cry
Will keep this eyes dry


I will let you cry
In my arms tonight
Cause I know you lost
The will to fight
Will protect you from all of your fears
Just to make you smile
It will be worthwhile

I will do everything
And anything
I will fix you
Even though when your okay
You will not be mine

I will just watch you leave
With a smile
A smile
Thats holding my tears.
I will be your superman even though I'm not super.
162 · Jan 2018
First Love
PJ Jan 2018
I remember the times
that I'm addicted to you.

To your smiles,
your laughs.
your stories.
To the way you stand.
even on how you brush your hair.
To those times you hold my hand

I remember every single detail
to every dates, important or not.
they said i'm obsessed of you.
but the truth is I just love every
little bit of you.

For me your everything is the
best thing I have ever seen.
Having you was one of the
best blessing!

Those times may have ended
but those times is always treasured.
you are always special to me.
159 · Jan 2018
ANOTHER LIE
PJ Jan 2018
"I will never leave you"






            "I heard that a thousand times"
"yet here I am alone"
Alone
157 · Apr 2018
Untitled
PJ Apr 2018
You ask for help
When you are blue
And have no clue
But you also left
When you already received
The help you want
I know its selfish
to ask you
To ask me
For my help, cause I dont mind
I just dont want you to leave me behind.
Pls, you have trap me and im craving for you but its sad cause I know you dont need me anymore.
155 · Mar 30
happy basket
PJ Mar 30
Its a good day
to be happy and free
its cold out
and
its okay to stay in this warm bed
all cozy and still

I'm happy you see
staying in this cold breeze
drinking this bubble tea
feeling loved
while wrapped in these
soft blankets
and
a hand inside
my purple jacket

Yes
its a beautiful day
like happiness
tucked inside
a happy basket
154 · Oct 2018
Invisible Smile
PJ Oct 2018
I just want to say
I'm still puzzled and confused
allot has been happening
so fast and so soon
It's a rush
my mind and my heart
just can't keep up
but I want it
I want everything
that's happening
even when I don't understand
even when I don't think
I deserve this
I want to keep it
cause even though I'm confused
there's an invisible smile
that you cant see
the happiness and joy
inside of me
cause I want it
I want you
I want to keep you
and
the love.
Maybe you cant
see this smile
but it wont fade away
This invisible smile
will going to stay.
For those person who you thought thats just a dream but they are not they are real and you have them to hold and to love.
147 · Jan 2018
"LIES AND TRUTH"
PJ Jan 2018
Theres allot of things that I wanted to be lie.
And theres allot of things I wanted to be the truth.

Like the day you told me.
"I wont leave you"
I wanted that to be true.
Or
When they said "everything gonna be fine"
Even when they told me about the toothfairy, the easterbunny, santa or even the grinch.
I wanted them to be all true.

Yet they always tell lies
To somehow make us feel okay.
But in the end we will realized that everything was a lie.

But I wanted allot of things to be a lie.

•Anxiety
•Depression
•prejudice
•sadness

I wanted them to be a lie because Im tired of lying and hiding the truth.

Im tired of saying "I'm Okay"
Im tired of saying "Good Morning , Day, or Night"
Im tired of showing a smile that only hides whats inside.

I want a time
Where my lies will be seen as lies and the truth may be seen.
Tired of my lies
146 · Apr 2018
Untitled
PJ Apr 2018
I

       Hate

              to

                          say

GOODBYE

 ­                      cause

         YOU

Didnt

             said

                         YOU
                
                were

LEAVING.


        com­eback pls!
why am I like this now.
145 · Jan 2018
Me and You
PJ Jan 2018
Me and you were the greatest team.
The best duo.
Partners!
That's who we were!
or what we claimed to be.

We were not afraid nor confused
of what we have or what we don't
Everything figured out
Cherishing all the moment
Loving all times

But look where we are now
both far from each other
we seem to be strangers
what have we done?
what did fail to do?
we ask ourselves

I chased you
though you where running away.
I knock on your door
even you slammed it in my face.
I waited
though you have forgotten.
I understood you
yet you don't know.
I reach out
but you just let go.

You inspired me to write
you showed me how.
To express how we feel
but look at me now
Writing this sad story
of Me and You.
Thank you for everything though, Right now I feel that Im lost but writing did help me to cope.
133 · Jan 2018
A rare found!
PJ Jan 2018
When you find someone
who is thankful to have you,
is concerned for your well-being,
accepts you as you are,
cheers you up whenever you’re down,
motivates and supports you in your endeavors,
cares for you deeply,
and loves you unconditionally,

treasure and keep that person.
Make him/her feel important in return.
Care for him/her the way he/she does for you.
Love him/her with no reservations.
You may not know it,
but you have found a friend for life in him/her.
God has given you that person for a purpose,
so keep him/her in your heart and prayers.
everyone keeps someone as their rare found.
133 · Jan 2018
Something to Ponder
PJ Jan 2018
The thing about life is
that we shouldn’t not pursue anything with bad attitude,
Never say I don’t like to do this
and that’s why I wont do good.
That I would messed this up.
Always have a positive view about it,
even though, its not really your passion
once you do that you win over it.

But its necessary to do that what you like
because its what makes you really happy.
Doing things that makes us happy is one of the privileges
that we can claim.
Never think that something is stopping you,
never think for a second that you couldn’t do it.
That you would not try it
because in reality those who never tried are the once who really lost. Its not those who tried and failed.
Never quit in trying even if you have only a small chance
if you put your heart
and put all of your effort into it eventually you could do it.
No matter how rough the road is.
fight until the until you drop!
131 · Jan 2018
The end is NEAR
PJ Jan 2018
The end is near so they speak. The end is truly near for this year. Everyday we rushed into things. We take a time of one duty to fullfill another . We feel the day is long if we did allot of things but its the opposite. We rushed into things thats isnt its due time we think about the future but barely grasping what is in the present. Living our daily lives like an upgraded robot. Doing things in a rushed manner. We forgot to cherished the present the work we are doing because we are looking into the future the product of our work. How many minutes, hours and days we lost because we are to eager to see the future when the present matters most.
Dont rush
126 · Jan 2018
I’m here
PJ Jan 2018
I already said this allot of times.
I’M HERE.
I wont leave.
I wont desert you.
I’m right here.


For a long time now
I have been saying those line because its true.
I hate goodbyes more than anyone
I don't want people to leave.
I don't want you to leave.
I really don't.

Pls do remember that.
I look like an overly attached friend right now
but I don't care.
I only care about you right now.
I see you slowly killing yourself with depression.  

Shes ready to give up not on you but on herself.
I'm loosing myself.
I don't want to see her sad
but It cant be help.
As time past


I don't want her to forgot about you.
I just want her to move on.
I just want her to be happy.
I want my old Partner back.
may this remind you!
124 · Aug 2018
Untitled
PJ Aug 2018
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Its dangerous out there
But what can you do,
don't worry
I'll journey it too
While holding your hands
To be forever with you!
Simple twist of a classic poem, offered for the people I love.
124 · Jan 2018
I am FREE
PJ Jan 2018
One night. One man dared to be free. Free from himself, Free from all, he got tired of the feeling of being controlled by a system that makes him no better than a robot. So he walked miles through the darkness of the path, he murmored. "I Will be free. I will be Free. Im tired at the same time im sick. Sick of being me." He continued to walk as he reached the side of a river and Cold winds blows to his shoulders like the frozen touch of winter. He got shivers throughout his body and said to himself this is it Im free. The day number one. Then he was puzzled and asked himself what does a free man do? Not knowing the answer and he has no one to ask for he is alone. Then he sat at the bank of the river and he contemplated and again ask himself what does a free man do? Who should I ask? I know allot of people but I dont know who among them is free. He was stumped for the deeper he thinks the harder to answer to his own question. After a while he stops thinking and just look around. Then he saw the river just flowing not caring for  as long as it flows but in a a distant sight he saw a wall that was redirecting the flow of the river. And got stomped again for he thought he already the answer but he doesnt. Then as he looked at the sky and he laughed so hard. For sunrise is quite close. Then he realized I am free for I can do this. I am free because I am me and no one can do it better than me.
Reflection
123 · Jan 2018
Silent Voice
PJ Jan 2018
Within us, is a                                                          voice
that no one ever heard off.
A sound wanted to go                                          out
Yet its forbidden
and not allowed


For we are always ask                                         don't
Don't speak your mind.
It's what they always say
now you're silent
and you cant                                                                 be
someone you are destined to become

Still we continued to be silent
For we are                                                                     afraid,
Scared of what it can do
that's what on our mind

The little voice inside us
only wanted to be heard
Now we want  it to                                                       drown
into the abyss of nothingness
and stay in that void
for we are afraid of what others think.


Not knowing  its potential
it stayed there
stuck with all the other                                                    noises
Noises that always rendered
and deemed it as useless
Those noises kept you chained                                   with
the guilt of voicing it out.
Dragging you further down.


Creativity and all of                                                  your
wonderful imaginations
cant come out for its locked up
for you are                                                                   SILENT
and always afraid of what others think,
always waits for the approval of others.

Now you kept it all in
You will never learn to fly
because you wrapped your                                              VOICE
with fear and guilt.
Be strong always , its hard to voice out and its always a risk but its a risk worth taking.
122 · Oct 2018
The branch and the leaf
PJ Oct 2018
We are from the tallest tree
on top of the mountain
feeling so free
you hold me so tight
so the wind and the rain
wont take me
but
when the lightning hit
you didn't let go
you hold on to me
and broke the fall
now the flood pushed us
to the stream
yet you still hold on to me
telling me its just a bad dream
when rain was out the water was calm
now we continued to flow down
telling me its okay
we will reach the sea
and we will again be free
but it rained again
now the water is harsh
it flowed so fast
didn't thought I will last
but you hold me close
and hold me tight
until
We got stuck in a stone
against the flow
I was shocked that you just let go
as I continue to flow I saw you smiled
and yelled
I'm stuck and can't get out
so continue to flow
and reach the sea
I just wanted you to be
FREE.
#9 poem. I got no words for this one
117 · Jan 2018
May I?
PJ Jan 2018
You are that person I see as light
but now your light seemed fading.
Our journey is still a long one
but your smile is slowly disappearing.


May I raise you up?
May I helped you smile again?.
May I help you stand because I know your knees are weak?.
May I carry you throughout the path.?
All I want is keep you smiling,

To give you all that your heart needs the most.
May I be the shield that would protect your happiness?.
May I be the one to be there always.

All that’s made me is all worth trading
just to have one moment with you,
to make you smile again.
PLS smile again
114 · Jun 2018
2 Types of Strangers
PJ Jun 2018
"Hello!" and "Hello?"
When you 1st met and the day you met accidentally again.
114 · Jan 2018
FLY
PJ Jan 2018
FLY
Yes you were the pilot of my life.
You thought me how to strive
So that I wont be deprive
And  everything would suffice

But to my surprise
You left me hanging on the air
And i couldnt bare
Because you thought me to fly
And now im stuck here in the sky

Not knowing how to land
Because you didnt said thats part of the plan.
Pj
PJ Apr 2018
Afraid and Anxious of
Being something I'm not
Conscious about everything
Dying to be
Everything I want but wheres the
Fun in that.
Go out and
Have fun.
Its strange how I changed.
Jeers where the sound track of my life.
Knowing that many have been cheering
Lamenting of the days I should have   fought.
Mountains where not made to
Nor overcome. That what I thought I have this
OBSESSION of
Painting my way by asking allot of Questions that I shouldn't have ask.
Race that I shouldn't have joined cause I'm
Sedentary. I'm afraid to move.
Timid and Nervous. Fear is
Ubiquitous for everyone, but its Victory over me is for sure. but
Wait its not the end because I'm the stranger of
Xenization, forever travelling alone
Yearning to be with somebody. This is the end and the start
Zero, yes I started with an A&Z is the end cause I always feel
                   WORTHLESS.
A to Z of my story
107 · Jan 2018
"REGRETS"
PJ Jan 2018
Turning point of my life. A care free lazy person. Thats who I was. I didnt really cared what would be the consequences of my action, im too lazy to even bother to think about it. All I know that everything that would happen in the future is the conclusion of your present actions. May it be bad or good. I would always say "NO REGRETS". Yes there were none for my actions but it always the opposite for the action that I didnt made. These "REGRETS" have hunted me for a while now because I realize that not all things in the future is the result of the action you made but it could be also the result of the ones you didnt. The future which is the result of the actions you didnt made, ***** because no matter how I will try to face it, I will eventually lose because no matter how strong I think I am  then. It doesnt change the fact that I was afraid of making those actions. No matter how much I drown myself in alcohol or tears. Nothing will change, believe me I really tried. Now the only thing I can do is make peace with my past accept that I was weak. Accept that I was once afraid. Acknowledge that I made a mistake. And now I will try to be a little braver because now I know my mistake. And I urge everyone I know to take the risk be brave to take action. Take flight and do good.
Me
107 · Jul 2018
Little Flower
PJ Jul 2018
Stand strong little flower
       No matter what bothers
             Even if you're different
                   From Others

There's no one better
      Yes love might not
             Last forever

But continue to
   Smile even all of
       The "the ends"
   And "Ever After"
this poem was written during the day you have been so broken that you were gonna burst in tears but you where so stubborn in being so "strong" that you kept it all in.

Wrote it in a piece of brown tissue paper and just left. Cause I know you where not going to spill the beans that night and that's all I can do. And thats the most subtle way to tell you I'm here.
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