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PJ 7d
My hearts about to explode
my emotions on high
I wanna escape
the pain not gonna lie
Im stressed and tired
theres a thought on the back of my head
saying I want to die

Does the wonderlust
of death
would set me free
from heartaches
and burdens
thats keeping me
awake for weeks.
I know I am weak
Yes I am
thinking of death
is the only choice
of escape
I dont want it , its true

but if I die in the next day
this poem.
Is set
to explain the days
I wont be writing again.

would I go bye
or
I will make it through
The future will answer
the present
it always do.
PJ Sep 1
I gave myself
I gave my all
and
theres a word
that I dont know
how to say
If its you
its always Yes
never a NO


Im afraid to lose
what something
I thought I have
If those words
could escape my lips
I would stop it
with my finger tips

Its a Yes
and have always been
a Yes for you
no matter how hard
cause you where
worth it
even from the start
PJ Aug 31
I'm sorry
I'm selfish
for leaving you
for telling you

I'm here
I won't leave
Yet I did
now I'm here

Drifted away
Why did I even say
that
When I couldn't stay

No excuses
I'm a mess
What I've done to you
Such distress

I hear you
Your screams
Your silence
Your tears

Can't comfort you
Can't save you
The ones who broke you
Can't fix you

This is the end
Won't do it again
I didn't know what I was doing
Now I understand

PAIN!
LOVE?
LONLINESS.
ENLIGHTENMENT...

Still pain.
No words.
No more words
'til we meet again
PJ Jul 27
Im floating away
but my heart in stray
I know im not hurt
but im in pain
Im in the middle
of Im just "alright" and
Im just "okay"
In the middle
of dark and day

Im a colorful silhouette
A beauty thats unstable
cause when Im not in the middle
I will be gone.
The beauty thats dependant
on light and rain.
PJ Jan 10
Never ask
when is your time
everything will be fine
if death is an escape
then dont be in rush

Struggles isnt just for a day
pain will linger too
even when you pass
it will stay
to those you loved
to those you prayed

struggle with them
mourn and cry
cause if death is an escape
then be afraid to die
Death is an escape
for alone
the living will tell your tale
and will feel your pain
cause it will hurt
more than you know
like a thousand cuts
for them alone

They will asked why
with tears
that you cant dry
for you left in pain
and not in peace

a hole in their hearts
that will never be filled
cause when you escaped
it was through that hole

So live a life
though
shattered and broken
it will be fixed
not by you
but with life itself
It will make a way
so that there will never be a hole
to be filled
but whole you
will be in its place.
I have heard another story of one young fellow took his own life. Death is an escape my friends but for you alone never forget that the living will tell your tale, and will feel. your pain
PJ Sep 2019
I said I was hurt
they said I was overreacting
I said I was fine
they said am I sure?
I said what I felt
but I was told what to feel
I told them I will be fine
they said what was the problem?
I told them the truth.
Now they thought im lying.
I said my goodbyes and farewells
they said okay
Now the line
I will be fine
is in the present
cause Im okay now
without the "they"
I am "me"
its always hard to please everyone.. and there are times you suffer cause you dont want to lose them cause you think your happiness lies within them but when you cross the line you will realize that you will be fine.
PJ Jul 2019
I stared into the field
thinking if when my
heart would be healed
as I watched the cloud
and
listen to my heart beat loud
cause the shadows of the doubts
are chasing me
making me believe
I want something
I don't.
Making me believe
of the what ifs
hunting me like
the rose isn't red
but pastel pink
yes i'm daydreaming
hoping in it
my what ifs are true
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