Within us, is a                                                          voice
that no one ever heard off.
A sound wanted to go                                          out
Yet its forbidden
and not allowed


For we are always ask                                         don't
Don't speak your mind.
It's what they always say
now you're silent
and you cant                                                                 be
someone you are destined to become

Still we continued to be silent
For we are                                                                     afraid,
Scared of what it can do
that's what on our mind

The little voice inside us
only wanted to be heard
Now we want  it to                                                       drown
into the abyss of nothingness
and stay in that void
for we are afraid of what others think.


Not knowing  its potential
it stayed there
stuck with all the other                                                    noises
Noises that always rendered
and deemed it as useless
Those noises kept you chained                                   with
the guilt of voicing it out.
Dragging you further down.


Creativity and all of                                                  your
wonderful imaginations
cant come out for its locked up
for you are                                                                   SILENT
and always afraid of what others think,
always waits for the approval of others.

Now you kept it all in
You will never learn to fly
because you wrapped your                                              VOICE
with fear and guilt.

"I will never leave you"






            "I heard that a thousand times"
"yet here I am alone"

Stand strong little flower
       No matter what bothers
             Even if you're different
                   From Others

There's no one better
      Yes love might not
             Last forever

But continue to
   Smile even all of
       The "the ends"
   And "Ever After"

The end is near so they speak. The end is truly near for this year. Everyday we rushed into things. We take a time of one duty to fullfill another . We feel the day is long if we did allot of things but its the opposite. We rushed into things thats isnt its due time we think about the future but barely grasping what is in the present. Living our daily lives like an upgraded robot. Doing things in a rushed manner. We forgot to cherished the present the work we are doing because we are looking into the future the product of our work. How many minutes, hours and days we lost because we are to eager to see the future when the present matters most.

Me and you were the greatest team.
The best duo.
Partners!
That's who we were!
or what we claimed to be.

We were not afraid nor confused
of what we have or what we don't
Everything figured out
Cherishing all the moment
Loving all times

But look where we are now
both far from each other
we seem to be strangers
what have we done?
what did fail to do?
we ask ourselves

I chased you
though you where running away.
I knock on your door
even you slammed it in my face.
I waited
though you have forgotten.
I understood you
yet you don't know.
I reach out
but you just let go.

You inspired me to write
you showed me how.
To express how we feel
but look at me now
Writing this sad story
of Me and You.

"Hello!" and "Hello?"

Afraid and Anxious of
Being something I'm not
Conscious about everything
Dying to be
Everything I want but wheres the
Fun in that.
Go out and
Have fun.
Its strange how I changed.
Jeers where the sound track of my life.
Knowing that many have been cheering
Lamenting of the days I should have   fought.
Mountains where not made to
Nor overcome. That what I thought I have this
OBSESSION of
Painting my way by asking allot of Questions that I shouldn't have ask.
Race that I shouldn't have joined cause I'm
Sedentary. I'm afraid to move.
Timid and Nervous. Fear is
Ubiquitous for everyone, but its Victory over me is for sure. but
Wait its not the end because I'm the stranger of
Xenization, forever travelling alone
Yearning to be with somebody. This is the end and the start
Zero, yes I started with an A&Z is the end cause I always feel
                   WORTHLESS.

Yes you were the pilot of my life.
You thought me how to strive
So that I wont be deprive
And  everything would suffice

But to my surprise
You left me hanging on the air
And i couldnt bare
Because you thought me to fly
And now im stuck here in the sky

Not knowing how to land
Because you didnt said thats part of the plan.

I'm writing with my screams
     Screams of smiles and anguish
The two sides of the page
    What I write are my screams
Screams that I want someone
           To hear.
Cause I reach the point,
           That I cant bare
No one wants to listen
   To a sad person
But a paper will always
     Be there for a sad poet.
So hear goes my quiet screams
  Screams of pain and sadness
That no one bothered to hear

Step
        

                         by

                                                    Step



We
              

                             are



                                                             ­                                 Drifting away,

  


Like

          
                 walking

                  

                          without
  ­  

                                 a

  

destination.

                              

                 ­         Floating

                                          


Adrift




               like



                            your


in

    

      

      space.




I'm


                          ­Sorry



                             I



didn't


              

                  came



with


                   you




in



               your





Spaceship




                                because

­

you  

                                  took


a


         step



                                       without


          me






KNOWING!

One night. One man dared to be free. Free from himself, Free from all, he got tired of the feeling of being controlled by a system that makes him no better than a robot. So he walked miles through the darkness of the path, he murmored. "I Will be free. I will be Free. Im tired at the same time im sick. Sick of being me." He continued to walk as he reached the side of a river and Cold winds blows to his shoulders like the frozen touch of winter. He got shivers throughout his body and said to himself this is it Im free. The day number one. Then he was puzzled and asked himself what does a free man do? Not knowing the answer and he has no one to ask for he is alone. Then he sat at the bank of the river and he contemplated and again ask himself what does a free man do? Who should I ask? I know allot of people but I dont know who among them is free. He was stumped for the deeper he thinks the harder to answer to his own question. After a while he stops thinking and just look around. Then he saw the river just flowing not caring for  as long as it flows but in a a distant sight he saw a wall that was redirecting the flow of the river. And got stomped again for he thought he already the answer but he doesnt. Then as he looked at the sky and he laughed so hard. For sunrise is quite close. Then he realized I am free for I can do this. I am free because I am me and no one can do it better than me.

Turning point of my life. A care free lazy person. Thats who I was. I didnt really cared what would be the consequences of my action, im too lazy to even bother to think about it. All I know that everything that would happen in the future is the conclusion of your present actions. May it be bad or good. I would always say "NO REGRETS". Yes there were none for my actions but it always the opposite for the action that I didnt made. These "REGRETS" have hunted me for a while now because I realize that not all things in the future is the result of the action you made but it could be also the result of the ones you didnt. The future which is the result of the actions you didnt made, ***** because no matter how I will try to face it, I will eventually lose because no matter how strong I think I am  then. It doesnt change the fact that I was afraid of making those actions. No matter how much I drown myself in alcohol or tears. Nothing will change, believe me I really tried. Now the only thing I can do is make peace with my past accept that I was weak. Accept that I was once afraid. Acknowledge that I made a mistake. And now I will try to be a little braver because now I know my mistake. And I urge everyone I know to take the risk be brave to take action. Take flight and do good.

The thing about life is
that we shouldn’t not pursue anything with bad attitude,
Never say I don’t like to do this
and that’s why I wont do good.
That I would messed this up.
Always have a positive view about it,
even though, its not really your passion
once you do that you win over it.

But its necessary to do that what you like
because its what makes you really happy.
Doing things that makes us happy is one of the privileges
that we can claim.
Never think that something is stopping you,
never think for a second that you couldn’t do it.
That you would not try it
because in reality those who never tried are the once who really lost. Its not those who tried and failed.
Never quit in trying even if you have only a small chance
if you put your heart
and put all of your effort into it eventually you could do it.
No matter how rough the road is.

How do I?

Stay the same
   When you already change me so much.

How do I?

stop my madness
   When everything is in chaos

How do I?

Unlove you
   When all I can think right now is you.

How do I?

Start over
   When I don't want this to end

How do I?

Stop crying
    When I already lost more of myself.

How do I?

Run away
  When my feet wants to stay.


How do I?

Make everything all right
   When I can't reach you right now.

How do I?

Stop writing
   When poem and writings are the only ones who hears me.

Writing a poem is as easy as 1,2,3.
But then again you will be at 6,7,8
Without writing the 4 & 5
Now you try think back like 8,7,6,
But still skipping the 5 & 4
cause you thought
Writing poem was easy as 3,2,1.

Was I afraid
when I was young
or I just followed
the whispers in the wind

those whispers
didn't disappear
even when time
has past

they keep telling me
stand back
don't go,
just stay.

but my heart
screams
take flight
and do what you must
ignore the whispers
in the wind.

So I listened to my heart
and took flight
I did what I must
and spread my wings

I'm still hearing whispers
to stand back
don't go,
just stay

So I listened well
to the silent whispers
Now I realized I was
missing something

it said
Stand (OUT! never go) back
don't (wait, just) go
just stay ( and let the wind carry you).

Why am I still filled with suicidal thoughts?

       When I want to live on.

I want to die in my sleep tonight!

I know this wont make you whole again. I know this cant complete  you nor compensate to all the hardships you had with me but I would like to say sorry.

I'm sorry for being me. I didnt know any better.
I'm sorry, I was clueless that you like me from the start.
I'm sorry that I shared all my hardships and life and didnt heared yours
I'm sorry that I was sharing how my days went and didnt had the time to listen to you.
Im sorry for always being so sweet and caring. I didnt mean to break your guard.
Im sorry for always talking to you constantly even when I dont have anything to tell you.
Im sorry for always answering your late night calls and talking to you until dawn.
Im sorry for sharing my 1st love and it wasnt you.
Im sorry that I always scream to the world how she meant to me and letting you see it.
Im sorry for telling you I will court her and ask you for advices
Im sorry for having someone as the moon for my tides when I was your moon.
Im sorry for talking to you when she broked my heart.
Im sorry for the days  I was so broken and all I have to talk too is you.
Im sorry for failing to see that you where there all the time I was so down
Im sorry for telling you I wasnt loveable when you have loved me.
Im sorry for going into deppression and pushed you away.
Im sorry I was stupid that I started hurting myself.
Im sorry for not noticing your late night calls.
Im sorry for not answering for chats and text.
Im sorry for not caring for your care.
Im sorry for calling you when I was slowly becoming okay.
Im sorry for being insensitive, I didnt know you were having a hard time.
Im sorry for being okay when your not.
Im sorry for not giving you a chance.
Im sorry for saying thank you, when you said you love me.
Im sorry I cant give the love that you gave me.
Im sorry for making you wait.
Im sorry that you have grown tired.
Im sorry for not making that leap.
Im sorry that I was afraid.
Im sorry for thinking I can make it on my own.
Im sorry for the love I cant repay

I'm sorry
I'm selfish
for leaving you
for telling you

I'm here
I won't leave
Yet I did
now I'm here

Drifted away
Why did I even say
that
When I couldn't stay

No excuses
I'm a mess
What I've done to you
Such distress

I hear you
Your screams
Your silence
Your tears

Can't comfort you
Can't save you
The ones who broke you
Can't fix you

This is the end
Won't do it again
I didn't know what I was doing
Now I understand

PAIN!
LOVE?
LONLINESS.
ENLIGHTENMENT...

Still pain.
No words.
No more words
'til we meet again

I waited for the sunset
at the beach
with salt in air
and sand on my feet

I wandered far
and wandered deep
now the tide takes
me off my feet

now I see the lighthouse
at the beach
I yelled , little lighthouse
light my way
when I comeback
but for now let me stay.