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blue mercury Oct 2016
i really do wish you no harm.

i hope you don't get pocket lint on your dum-dum,
because that would be tragic.

i hope the next girl you date doesn't bite.
even though, you deserve a gnarly girl
who can get low down and gritty.

i pray you don't fall going up the stairs
and slide all the freaking way down.
i wouldn't want a concussed friend
now would i?

i cross my fingers and shut my eyes,
wishing you a pretty girl with perfect teeth
and pale skin
and an american accent cuter than mine.
in bar. or no- in a basement.

i would never wish you the worst hangover that
you've ever had
with a headache so bad
you feel like you tried to go out with a bang (literally)
like kurt d. cobain, and survived.
if you aren't an uneducated swine and know who that is.

i hope you never feel heartache like this.
feeling your chest tighten with anvil heavy memories
and sun-kissed, barebacked truth because
you had to let go what you love
and love what you let go.
crying when you see "message me i get bored x"
in their bio on a tuesday night, for the first time in six months.
sorry. this is the only place i could vent. i love you all for putting up with me. x
752 · Feb 2017
blue mercury Feb 2017
i love how when
i'm with you,
i can be my abnormal

and you just match
my weird,
break my fall,
assist my functions,
and care.

thank you for being such
a great thing for me,
for making me happy,
for being an unexpected
but wonderful
addition to this life of mine.

♡ blue
a valentine i'm thinking of giving out to someone i care about very very much
714 · Nov 2016
blue mercury Nov 2016
the inside of me is overgrown with moss and kudzu.
tell me i am an issue,
cut me down and yell timber.

don't make it a question
make it an exclamation.
a statement of the things you've destroyed
to make room for something new,
but not bright eyed.

i am an overgrown tree
with roots too far into the darkness
of the cool dirt-
smell the musky scent of my bark
after the rain.

even if the rain couldn't wash this away,
at least your ax stopped it
from growing.

no matter how low to the ground
you cut me down
i will still have
my roots.
this is a bit more like my usual work hope you all enjoy it- i feel like i'm losing my touch though.
713 · Apr 2017
deux - for april 12
blue mercury Apr 2017
i want to slow dance the spring away.
i fall in love with you everyday,
and if we don't have forever
that doesn't really matter.
the moments we've had together
are enough to set fire
to my hesitation
and ignite new intentions
this is worth all of the heartache
that i may later have to face.
and all of these days
have blown my mind
because i never thought there'd be a time
when i'd love again.
you're more than a boyfriend,
you're a best friend.
and in this splendor
your love is tender
i couldn't do better
than you if i tried.
when i'm with you i'm alive.
i'm glowing,
i'm holding
onto you
because i've never loved like this
i wish,
i could say i did
at one point
but i've never ever loved this way.
which is to say,
you make me feel like the world around me
could crash and burn
but i wouldn't care,
because you put out the flames in my head,
i could say it's not fair,
how i want to compare
you to every season
love you beyond reason
kiss you until i'm breathing
the air you're needing.
but thank you
for loving me,
when no one bothered
to give me a chance
and as we dance away the spring,
your smile's still my favorite thing.
baby, who needs redbull,
when you've already given me wings?
two months x
705 · Feb 2017
blue mercury Feb 2017
i can't wait to cuddle with
you at a coffee shop,
on a bench,
with the smell of coffee beans,
and you,
blending into a gentle symphony.

i'd have a mint latte,
and maybe we could share,
and i'll say something stupid
like thank you for the day.
or i really like you.
instead of
freaking kiss me, okay?

then you could walk me
home, my heart
dancing on the way.
so so happy, i could diiie
701 · Nov 2016
miniature horses
blue mercury Nov 2016
we can be like alice
but not like the one in chains
we will be free, freer, freest.

swallow the magic potion,
shrink from the drink that dripped
onto our palms.

your palms will be sweaty and cold pressed to my face-
your eyes are ice, your love is lice
it makes me scratch my head.

we'll be small
but we'll feel twenty thousand feet tall.
we are a leaf of grass.

maybe it's just the change in the weather,
but i want to shrug on your sweater,
and ride your miniature horse until sunrise.

hushed voices are almost screaming
and careful footsteps seem to be running
i'm thinking of the way i used to feel.

a godess??

worth it.

riding those miniature horses
until sunrise
seems to be a waste of time again

because when morning comes
they are always men again,
and i don't want to be small anymore.
not a good time. x
692 · May 2017
blue mercury May 2017
you blew a hole
through my fragile skull
and planted dandelions to grow
inside of the soil
you poured
into it

make a wish before they're gone
*make a wish, baby, make a wish
blue mercury Jan 2017
collarbones kissed with lace ,
a sweet song nibbling at my earlobes,
falling into safety nets
and blessings being whispered like
prayers in the night time.

this is love.
this is being alive.
this is being aglow.
that playlist is still available you know comment your favourite flower below in order to have me im you a playlist, just for you (:
680 · Dec 2016
blue mercury Dec 2016
everything about me is sick.
maybe in the rad way i used to be,
or maybe i'm just ill.

there are worse things.
my body could turn on me
while my mind is going sour.

(my soul is rotting you can smell it on my breath.)

my eyes are always open
and life-
it isn't sweet enough.

sweat drips down my spine
and i shiver while someone
whispers hallelujah in the silence.

(i'm sorry but i am no longer a green girl. my leaves are turning brown.)

albert kamus is this
absurd enough for you:
loving and loving, running dry?

everyone says i'm not a waste
of the space
i've been occupying

but i dare not occupy yours.
you are too clean,
and god, am i sick.
please don't worry i'm doing just fine.
678 · Mar 2017
rip (or r.i.p.)
blue mercury Mar 2017
ripped out my lungs because it was already impossible to breathe;
there was a light in the dark, there is something that i need.
i will keep going, stand on this glass beach, and
i'll sing baby, baby, baby, i just want some sleep.
yeah, i just want some sleep.

when she's talking to you your mouth hangs open
but not as open as her heart that she sewed to her sleeve
when she was thirteen. everyone says she reads like an open book,
but you think she reads more like a tombstone.
she has an expiration date and everyone knows it,
but you want to be there until her light dies out.
no doubt about it, you've lost your mind, but she
was something you couldn't slide under the rug
she kept coming back.
oh god did she come back, looking like a goddess,
and you were taken aback, trying to stay honest
but honesty is only the best policy until it reveals her frailty
over frivolity, she's precious, impressive, and beautifully combative-
but never ever yours.

slept with the devil when he promised me the love i lacked.
somehow i was surprised when everything went black
his face and eyes gave me a heart attack, and
he was my baby, baby, baby, i was just a fallback.
lust never more than a fallback.
beautiful minds are often marred
667 · Jan 2017
blue mercury Jan 2017
you're the georgia sun
autumn's breeze
glow in the dark

i feel
like a sproutling
swaying in the breeze
until i begin to rustle
661 · Jan 2017
apollo 13
blue mercury Jan 2017
i fell in hole i just couldn’t get out of
i let my thoughts be spoken aloud. love,
just tell me the truths that i’ve never heard,
and i’ll write you some pretty songs about birds

(or something.)  but, i wonder how you would ever treat my scars
the light inside the world is bright but i still feel dark
(inside.) but in all of these moments i just reminisce
about the ones i can’t help but miss.

and i’m on fire, fire, fire. x2

but you make me want to live in this one moment
with your leather jacket, with your arms wide open.
there’s something to you, and the gravel inside your voice,
when you say to me ‘hey, i love you’ like i never had a choice.

and i guess i could fly in those space ships that glow,
but with my luck they will crash and burn like apollo.
you’re a bicycle and i just need learn how not fall,
but the taste of grass isn’t bad and it feels kind of soft.

i don’t mind the burn, the burn, the burn. x2

i’m a bubblegum babygirl, so pink i feel just like lace,
but i’m stained, and impure, yeah you can see it on my face.
and i do believe in god, i promise i do,
but i'm really wanting to lose all religion somewhere quiet with you.

everything is colored in a seafoam like green.
when i’m not even in the ocean i’m somewhere in between
heaven and hell and the dumpster we call earth,
but i don’t think you’re trash for whatever it’s worth.

and i’ve burned into ash, ash, ash x2
(inspired by )
another song for my albummm i'm so excited, ack!

also this is about half crush - he's not a half crush anymore?

it's more like a "holy smokes so many feels" situation
658 · Aug 2017
blue mercury Aug 2017
i never knew that a body could be so intriguing. i never understood the appeal of michelangelo's david statue.

why, i wondered, would a huge naked man draw not only the eyes of millions but be awe insiring and cause people to look at themselves as a part of a larger scheme?

but, oh my god. i look at you and david? he has no chance. he is made of marble, of stone, but i have a real boy, a living boy.

i will swallow my pride for a moment and admit that you are freaking  beautiful, more than i, and that is when you are clothed.

i could stare at your smile for hours if it didn't make me feel like i'm dying. if i could do so whilst breathing. i look at you, and i feel like i am a part of a greater scheme.

because, there's a chance that i could some day see the most honest way we compliment each other. more than just touch, more than lust, we could be love.

the fact that i will one day know the map of your body like a home town, like my childhood house- david never got the kind of love i want to give you, i'm sure of it.

i imagine that david tasted like cinnamon and guilt with a little bit of victory, or at least, i imagine that's how he would taste to me.

but you, you taste like freedom and fire / shyness and desire, and i'm telling you i would gaze upon you like you are art.

you **** all of the giants and monsters and evils in my head with your words like flying stones.

david has nothing on you babe.

because while he is crafted form marble, i stole you from the stars.
love/lust is in the air, my darlings
649 · Apr 2017
blue mercury Apr 2017
your love is flower petal soft,
and i hold it here between my
index finger and thumb.
there is something in our touch
that electrifies.

i would split my bones
to give you strength,
and when you reach out
to hold my hand,
i know you would do
the same.

i want to touch my lips
to yours,
because they seem so alone,
and i want to rain over you
like a sky so blue,
but i don't want to reach
too far.

i'm bathing in your light,
and i've somehow emitted
my own.
when you give to me
a glow i've never held,
my hands don't know
what to do.

and yet i still learn
how it feels to
642 · Feb 2017
blue mercury Feb 2017
i used to think that confidence
was never really common sense
thought it was like lost innocence
it was something you earned
but you make me feel so worth it
w/o showering me in compliments
you’ve awaken all of my senses
i’m feeling alive

don’t tell me that fate is a lie
i’ll believe in it until i die
doesn’t matter long as i try
to be better than i am
to be bigger than my issues
i’m crying away all the tissues
you’ve never said “i’ll fix you”
you’ve just said “i’m here”

sometimes the way you look at me
i swear it’s just make-believe
but i live for this lucid dream
that keeps me wide awake
you’re what i write about when i can’t sleep
i know that talk is freaking cheap
but your words
have more worth
than any dollar bill.
i’m letting my thoughts spill.
your space, i’d gladly fill.

don’t tell me that fate is a lie
i’ll believe in it until i die
doesn’t matter long as i try
to be better than i am
to be bigger than my issues
i’m crying away all the tissues
you’ve never said “i’ll fix you”
you’ve just said “i’m here”

my head on your shoulder
my heart is warm my hands are colder
i’ll just go ahead and hold your
hand to spend away the time
lights out, my eyes won’t shut
no more sadness, yeah, i’ve had enough
this insomniac’s not waking up
this dream is here to stay

don’t tell me that fate is a lie
i’ll believe in it until i die
doesn’t matter long as i try
to be better than i am
to be bigger than my issues
i’m crying away all the tissues
you’ve never said “i’ll fix you”
you’ve just said “i’m here”
a song thingy
640 · Oct 2016
blue mercury Oct 2016
i just want to go some place nice,
somewhere the sky is pretty- like you.
i want to be like you.
you know, i have a lot to give to the world i just-
don’t know what it is yet.
but i’ll get there. i promise i’ll get there.
until then my heart will be in that pretty place
there, the trees will be tall,
and it will always feel like autumn. warm,
but cool. and the leaves
will always be in those orange-red hues,
the water will stay so clear and blue, that
you will see little minnows when
you dip your toes into the creek.
i’m not used to living on the edge, i’m just living
and that’s alright with me,
because i don’t want to be someone
i am not.
i am careful.
i am not reckless.
in that pretty place, the sweet little people
will be in their sweet little homes.
although, some of them will not be home they
will just be in a house.
a house they wish was a home,
but it can’t be because
home is where the heart is and as pretty as that
little place is,
their hearts are not there.
their hearts, like mine, are elsewhere.
perhaps with the stars and their blinking lights,
or at the bottom of the sea,
where the pebbles are rough beneath your toes,
and you try to hold your breath forever
because you are no longer
in the shallows.
you are somewhere deeper.
i want to go some place the water is deeper,
and the people think clearly
through all of the fog
and it’s all pretty
like you.
i think i'm falling in again.
638 · Jun 2017
blue mercury Jun 2017
the girl's body feels like that of a goddess when he touches her thighs. he says that when he kisses her she tastes like love and something he can't quite put his finger on. it isn't until she pulls him closer that he can. he realizes it's longing that he tastes.

who knew aphrodite longed for anything? for anyone?

the girl is soft her cheeks coloured like redwood, her hair dark and wild, her eyes brown. she's warmer than usual, but her hands are still cold. when he asks to kiss her, she doesn't want to close her eyes, she's afraid that she's too high up. mount olympus doesn't care for mortals, but she doesn't want to forget this one.

yes. aphrodite longs all of the time and as his laughter waterfalls down her spine, she doesn't remember anything but his brightness, that he is what makes her beauty.

goddess of love met her match. a mortal boy that feels like the god of autumn causes the leaves inside of her chest to fall and change colour.

she paints her love in shades of red. her hands on his body are pink-rose at the palms. this goddess of beauty has never seen any of her potential. perhaps it was wasted until he looked at her with disbelief, because she's never felt worth that gaze, but gods does she want it.

he looks at her and he just wants to occupy the same space forever.

*she looks at him and holds all the love in the universe in her hands.
637 · Dec 2016
in another life
blue mercury Dec 2016
the possibility of you,
of slipping bodies spilling truths

still drives
me wild.


for i've been touched
by moonlight.
631 · Nov 2017
the love of icarus
blue mercury Nov 2017
he leans in to kiss you. his lips graze yours, a careful brush, so close but not close enough, as the two of you breathe the same air. his breath is warm, his body is warm, everything about him is so warm when you feel so cold. next to him you feel like ice. and his touch melts your cool skin, and you’re melting, melting, gone. you’re kissing him, your chapped lips on fire. your baby is the sun and yes, you know this is going burn eventually. it burns already anyway. but you’d burn into ashes for him. you’d fade for him until there was none of you left.

his gaze leaves nothing of you. you burn until you smolder every time he looks your way. he’s older than you, and it’s almost like he’s lived so many centuries before this one. and he calls you “my love” and “baby boy” and he makes you feel soft even when you’re sweat drenched, even when your skin tastes like the ocean.

you’re on fire, but it’s alright. / there’s pain in this desire, but nothing’s felt more right.

icarus, your baby is a fire.
your baby is a thousand fires.
your baby is a thousand fires,
and each one is so beautiful,
that you don’t mind
how heated
things are getting.

this love is tragic, dear icarus.  and although you know it’s going to **** you, or maybe even because you know it’s going to **** you, you can’t stop loving him, and the heat radiating from his skin.
630 · Nov 2016
moments (thoughts - four)
blue mercury Nov 2016
they were pretty, but they didn't have your eyes or your gentle kindness.
i hate myself rn
623 · Feb 2017
blue mercury Feb 2017
i'm so afraid
of what comes next,
after the intense emotions and feeling high
after the thoughts of you being my lullaby.
(honestly i've fallen asleep thinking of you
smiling because of you,
every freaking night.)

but what if this is all
just a dream of mine
and it hasn't really come true?
what if i wake up to find,
that i have seemed to
have lost you?

i keep replaying
the way you said my name nervously,
the way your voice sounded
when you said you had a crush
on me, the way i wanted
to cry because my dreams never
ever come true the way i want them to.

so this must not be real.

but it feels so real, babe,
and that's what scares me the most.
blue mercury Dec 2017
tell me
what you want
because i want you

you look the same way
the sunset paints brush strokes
on the horizon

i want to be your horizon.

sometimes we love without a reason why, without knowing anything except for this. the way we clumsily work toward interlacing our fingers reminds me that life isn't perfect until we're content withthe fact that it's not perfect.
you make me see all that life can be. with you here, i am more than content. i am happy.

you changed my life.
like an autumn evening
changes green to red.
to yellow.

your smile is my
favourite constellation.
and i play connect the dots between
the corners of your mouth.

you make me love.
the world.

i love love love you
614 · Sep 2016
love isn't always lovely
blue mercury Sep 2016
don't bruise my mind with your
spat out slurs that fall
to my feet
a thunk.

don't fill my pretty little head
with insanity-notions
and those lies
are pernicious.

don't tell me i am prettier
when i am angry;

you want me
when i am angry;

you'd **** me
when i am angry.

say you love(d) me.

past or present tense
the lie is still tensing

the backbone
you say i don't have.

don't look at me.

*your eyes aren't the only thing i won't miss on my body.
blue mercury Mar 2017
my organs in a snapshot
i might rip my lungs out because you’ve become my every
breath, and i can hardly deal with ache in my chest. is it love?
everyone can tell that i am different. everyone can tell that i’m
glowing and maybe it’s because of you, maybe it’s because the
two of us make something like starlight. you are the very
creation of every single constellation, you are my inspiration,
my oxygen, the very consolidation of truth.

you rip my heart out and bring it back moments later. it’s laced
with fairie lights and twinkles, and somehow it’s still whole.
you are the only person that has not torn it apart.

god, babe. no one i’ve met has made me want to sing the way
you make me want to sing. i’m resting my head against your
chest as we dance to our favourite mixtape. slow and sweet,
like maple syrup. it’s been almost three weeks and i know
exactly what this means. the butterflies in my stomach turn into
fireflies and they love you.

and now you’re thinking,
baby, you’re golden,
baby, i’m holding
on to you.
baby you’re golden,
baby i’m holding
baby, you’re golden
baby, you are,
you are,
you are...
side b of the mixtape poem.
610 · Apr 2017
blue mercury Apr 2017
i do not think i am depressed,
but i've been showing signs of depression.
i'm holding on until
god knows what/when/where.

i need
i need
to be
606 · Feb 2017
lost stars
blue mercury Feb 2017
i think this city's
lost stars
follow your light
to find their way
back home.

flowers bloom from your
like they belong there.
but then i look at you,
and i think they do.

you make me laugh,
you make me glow,
you make life
seem worthwhile.

your smile is intergalactic,
and you are a radiation
destined for a rotation
that's bigger than
you could imagine.
i'm giving this to my boyfriend but i thought i'd share with you guys first. <3
604 · Jan 2017
untitled 1/3/17
blue mercury Jan 2017
sometimes you just need someone to
tell you that it's worth it,

that living isn't a game
only played
to lose.

i lost everything in moments
i couldn't count on my fingers
and toes.

all my blessings are coming,
i'm sure,

but i'm so blind
that i don't really see them anymore.

sometimes you're sad for no reason
and people ask you

and you cannot answer.
597 · Mar 2017
blue mercury Mar 2017
i'm rolling
trying to change
where i'm going
and all of my habits
you said i'd change
but i still haven't
look at how bad i'm damaged

you're only a little
younger than me
but it doesn't matter
you don't love me because
i flatter
you, yeah you know
that i won't get better

but somehow in this path and
along the rocks that haven't lasted
it doesn't matter how the past fits
in this
up to be buried beneath
the secrets
i didn't feel his love like i needed
but you make me feel bright
like i'm glued into the sky

i'm sorry
that couldn't get rid
of my folly
and all of my anxious feelings
you always know
what i need and
somehow i'm so incomplete
my thoughts are constantly speeding

the water looked cold
but i dove in
and all i saw was starlight
as we walk together
side by side
you are still mine right?

but somehow in this path and
along the rocks that haven't lasted
it doesn't matter how the past fits
in this
up to be buried beneath
the secrets
i didn't feel his love like i needed
but you make me feel bright
like i'm glued into the sky
a song
597 · Feb 2017
blue mercury Feb 2017
sometimes when i get bored,
i revert to my childlike nature
and press my fists to my eyes
until i begin to see mini galaxies.

but sometimes, i look at you,
and i see the biggest galaxies
that stretch beyond everywhere
i've been, and everywhere i will be;
suddenly, you are everything to me.

i need someone to pinch me
so i can be sure this is real,
so i don't have to be afraid of
waking up (the way i'm afraid of living/

i could talk to you for
hours on end and not get bored,
not revert backwards.
because i don't need to close my eyes
and press my fists to them
in order to see those stars and
planets and everything else anymore.

not when i have you.
i think i'm falling, i'm falling for you.
596 · May 2017
blue mercury May 2017
i want to inhale the rosemary of your aura until it settles into my veins. i want to bathe in the honey that sits in your voice. I want to drink you in/breathe your air until the two of us blend into one person, until your breath is mine.

god, i love you. i love you and i want to give you all of my good moments while still letting you into the bad. i just want to share my life with you.

one day i will memorize your skin and when i close my eyes, i will feel what it's like to be near you even though i am not. i don't know who i am, but next to you i like myself.

i want to tell you to close your eyes. i'll trace your eyelids with my thumbs, put your bottom lip in between my lips, and kiss you like you are an angel, because in some way you are.

i'm ******* glowing, like fireflies and faerie lights, i'm the sparkle in your eyes when you glance at me when you think i'm not looking. you're everything i can't remember, but i know.

i want a slow dance in october, i want whatever love that lies inside of your chest until you cave in. and i'll still love you when you're fragile.
this is bad
595 · May 2017
brain bruises
blue mercury May 2017
they tell you to play the game
but you hate it

it’s breaking your spirit
and you want to get out
of your head
but at least there you feel like
no one can get you.

or well
that’s what you thought.
you thought that
if you stayed in your mind
you’d be fine
but it betrays you

no good
get OUT of my head

please just get out of my head
595 · Mar 2018
horizon lines
blue mercury Mar 2018
the places we leave,
they whisper old songs when
we fall asleep
and yet we hear them.
now there’s

mayhem in the way the clouds
intertwine with the sunlight

basslines we thought we’d forgotten
play in our heartbeats
remembering our fears,
and yet, we dance.
see, there’s

blank spaces between stars tonight;
there, they leave traces of you

you blew out candles
like it was nothing and you’d never
lost your breath the way
i’d lost my mind,
but there’s

something in the wind that is softer
than the palms of your hands were

and when you love there is
a hurricane inside
of you

it is impossible
for you to love
with your head
above water.
so there’s

saltwater in the places your coy
fish thoughts laugh and i miss that

you can see something on the horizon
it’s a dream you’re chasing after
and i hope you can find him.
592 · Oct 2016
fool's gold
blue mercury Oct 2016
there’s no real gold, but this kind is for fools like us who don’t know any better.

you make me feel like the world is ending, so i allow you to smile at me. i let you hug me and ask if i’m okay. i say yes. i’m just tired. but there’s so much i don’t tell you: how your baby blue eyes make me feel like everything is crashing and burning, how when you hug me, i feel like we’ve made a fire in antarctica (something warm in this cold warzone of a world).

stop worshiping young gods, false gods, no god- this place is not a temple.

you are nothing. i want you to be nothing to me. because the last time i felt like this, i got my heart ripped out of my chest by his pretty, stepped on by reality, and spat on by every person who said, “i told you so.” the stars are my hope, and the sad thing is that all of those stars are already dead. maybe it’s troubling to think about it that way, but it’s all that i’ve got. but with these hopes and my fears i can’t be free.

i’ve got petrichor trapped in a bottle, and melancholy in my eyes and they sing hallelujah.*

i tell my friend that i like the way you smell in the morning. for ages i haven’t been able to why. i’ve known you for over a year and only now am i figuring out why. it makes you human. it smells like brand new, clean, and sweat. yes. there’s something beautifully strange in the way your most human attribute is the way you smell after walking to school, but this prison might be the only way i can feel you hold me when you know i’m not okay.
586 · Mar 2017
love you
blue mercury Mar 2017
i don't know how
"i don't feel like crap when i'm with you."
morphed into
"i love you"

but i'm glad it did, and i'm glad
that you said
it back.

you said it back.
man, this is terrifying.
blue mercury Mar 2018
in this pestilence and heartache,
i doth lie here without remembering
an instance where i shall not stay
in this quietly bleeding prison

my hands have groped the air
for a phantom amongst the breeze
but there is no longer a soul to spare
when i am brought back to my knees.

i feel my prayers are but thrown
fruitless pleadings to the sky
my truths to bear, are mine alone
never will they be your plight

you hold your head to my chest
and we dream away the time
this prison feels like a prison less
when your heart is calling to mine
romantic Romantics
570 · Nov 2016
circadian rhythm
blue mercury Nov 2016
they say sad times like these only come during changes of weather, and they blame it on your circadian rhythm. they could be right.

i just know that i don’t like sleeping anymore, because my dreams aren’t dreams, they’re visions straight out of hell. that’s where i’m going anyway, if those things they say are true. (***** little ****, let us fix you, okay? your feelings are only manifestations of the distance between you and your mother. lying is a sin, you can’t lie to god. suicide is sin, and you can't sleep your life away one day you'll awaken, until you don't.) but god, being awake is almost worse.

but there are some bright lights and, i swear, i’ve been holding onto them like my heaven and i love them so much and everything might be okay even if there are times when i can’t differentiate my sad tears from the ones triggered by joy.

maybe it’s okay to be awake, maybe one day i’ll be alright. maybe it’ll be soon. maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe...
i don't know why you all read my work and like it, but i love you guys so much **
565 · Oct 2017
blue mercury Oct 2017
you could shine through every darkness
on any given day
i knew that your eyes held the promise
that you'd never lead me astray
because of you i'm living the life that i wanted
that's something i never thought i'd say
and you are where i'll always find solace
i just hope that you can stay

and i know i'm no walk in the park
but i'll go anywhere in search of your heart
i won't ever stop gazing at the stars
but they're not as good as you at burning a hole through the dark

and you are a sunset on the horizon
so softly astounding and pure
and you've got sunlight in your eyes and
i've never wanted anything more
as much i want right now to be blinded
by those stars that i adore
and i have forever decided
to be the ocean to your shore

and i know i'm no victory march
but you have warmed my wintery heart
and if this is where our history starts
i hope we can be all that sky whispers we are
a song for my love. always.
564 · May 2017
blue mercury May 2017
the gods fawn over our love.
they spent so much time
on us it seems.
sprinkling us with beauty and aligning our
i'm reminded of how moments evanesce,
but ours, they span lifetimes.
and as our lips touch clumsily
like children learning on a street corner,
what it means to love another
for the first time,
they watch.
we, as their creation, glow
and you can see this light
for miles.
on our first kiss
564 · Mar 2018
blue mercury Mar 2018
i put you under my spell
and it seems just as well
that yours has got me high

this love that we keep
together do we sleep
under this moonlit sky

we glow brightly in the dark
like streetlights or like stars
we both are made of light

and if you hold my hand
together we could stand
let us never say goodbye
ive been reading a lot of byron, keats, and shelly.
563 · May 2017
blue mercury May 2017
peach coloured cheeks
sweet tea lips pink and sugary
georgia, oh georgia
a song buzzing on the highways

true love bleeding rubies
gems and glitter
love and need
cuddling under florescents

dream state
all this time i have been set ablaze

electric shock from firecracker veins
transmitting energy from my soul to yours
soft skin
one hundred percent cotton

i ran away when there was no place i wanted to be
but here
i was trying something new, trying to create a feeling by listing various things. so, how do you feel?

also here's a link to my blog where you can get to know me and read poems and things (:

563 · Dec 2016
savannah/hide away
blue mercury Dec 2016
he's with this girl now, she got eyes so blue
it sort of makes me sick
he's with this girl now, her name is savannah
she's in his life where i used to fit

and i know it's been too long
since my hands don't remember his face anymore
and i know i've got to carry on
but i don't know where to hide away
and i know it's been too long

i've got these thoughts now, lying in bed alone,
i'm cold and shaking bones.
i'm kind of lonely without holding my own,
i'm sad but i don't know.

and i know it's been too long
since my hands don't remember his face anymore
and i know i've got to carry on
but i don't know where to hide away
off my piece of crap single on bandcamp (:
557 · Mar 2017
blue mercury Mar 2017
you undo me.
no edge left untouched
no string left unpulled-
you undo me.

but underneath these tattered edges
and this unloved spine,
and inside of my burning ember eyes
and blood/love drenched heart,
is something that loves
something that's loved.
you undo me.

i don't want to rush this
because even without the
butterflies in my stomach flying
into your lips
you undo me.
god, you undo me.
554 · Oct 2016
blue mercury Oct 2016
i still feel you in those times when i can drain the pain from my veins just long enough to smile, before it rips my skin and crawls its way back into my blood stream.

you are every poem i have ever written about love in a nutshell. you are so **** pretty. your pretty is a shredder, still ripping me to particles when all i want to do is sleep. forever.

i'd sing no doubt but you don't speak anyway. if i disregarded that though, would you see the irony? would you see that what i mean is i love you, i love you, i freaking love you, and i'm sorry i didn't try hard enough.

i still think you weave words like blankets for newborn angels. even when the blanket is wool, and it's itchy, and god babe, was that last poem about me? because if so, i want to ask if i'm a baby angel or if i'm just one or the other, a baby or an angel. because right now i don't feel like either, i just feel lost.

you make me sick.

not because i don't love you.

i'd prefer you burn me with words instead of whipping my already scarred heart with silence. now my wings are falling off and i am falling apart with them. the cloud i'm floating on is pitch black and its on a pathway to something horrible.

i define fragility with silent sobs in the back of my throat. my wrists still throb even though for almost a year, i've been totally clean. the amount time i've been clean is coincidentally very close to coinciding with the amount of time i've known you, and i don't know if ever knew you because i never thought you'd just go like this.

i left for you. almost everything i do is for you- why don't you understand?

i'm still not ready to say goodbye so the change in the weather tries to do it for me. it says that a new season means a new life, and since i didn't know how to live without you in the old one, maybe now i can learn to live without you in this new one.

this is almost a goodbye. one day, maybe it will be.
very personal. ack.
blue mercury Oct 2016
bubblegum princess, open your eyes. (pop) i see you in your tower but there's no prince- i bet he left you so he could die eating peach pits in his vanilla ice cream. (pop) bubblegum princess, your mind is a desert but your heart causes warfare behind the dunes. (pop) bubblegum princess, one day you'll lose your gum and your crown. then what will you be but sorry? (pop)
part five (:
550 · Nov 2016
blue mercury Nov 2016
i'll paint stars on your ceiling
to keep you close to heaven
even heaven wasn't enough
to make you want to stay
if you want hell's fire
i swear i'll burn hotter
i'll give you so much love
it'll wash your sin away
546 · Oct 2016
baby lucy
blue mercury Oct 2016
don’t rip my heart out of my chest until the swallows are choking on their hallelujahs.

twelve year old girls are popping pills; mommy’s medicine cabinet, vicodin to numb the pain. slitting wrists is out of style so they smoke instead, slow motion suicide that is nothing but a human way of escape. self sacrifice is sin unless you can make it look like an accident.

mommy and daddy think i am innocent but i’ve lost my sense of self awareness, i crash.

babydolls drool on her pillow tonight, their chests are ripped open and their eyes are gouged out. baby lucy doesn’t want to meet little bear, she’s already met the beasts in her mommy’s heart that beats at a rapid speed even when she’s sleeping. mommy is weeping.

it’s my party, it’s my party, i’ll **** well cry if i want to.*

my mind is not twisted, it’s just a little hazy, so i’ve forgotten who i am. no one knows how crazy it can get when your parents toss you around like a rag doll maybe i’ll bleed out all of the drugs that are swirling inside me.
it's sad what the world is coming to
545 · Nov 2016
blue mercury Nov 2016
i was empty
  something was missing
you made me whole again.

you give me physicality.

hugs and hand holds
hands holding my face

in between them.

you gave me proximity.

walking on the sidewalk
your breath lingering on my face

when you turned to speak.
sometimes our fingers grazed

you gave me love.

one cannot know love
until it is a breath from the mouth

of someone beautiful.
an old poem of mine that is slowly growing more relevant
545 · Jan 2017
about a boy (windows)
blue mercury Jan 2017
haunted houses. we are haunted houses- skyscrapers touching the sky with our fingers, holding dreams in our palms, praying no one looks inside of us, through the windows.

inside lie broken people, staring out, looking for someone to see them, but still lying by the window.

when one pane of glass is all that keeps us from falling, it's easy to break the glass and jump. that's how i fell for you. (you know, reality hurts.)

somewhere along the way those dreams in my palms were used to wash the windows and the lost soul inside of me sees everything in a dream colored tint.

i never wanted to be broken, or haunted, or in love but things happen and here i am, the person inside of me no longer inside of me. no, she fell too hard and broke too easily, for the beauty inside of you couldn't catch.
543 · Jul 2017
blue mercury Jul 2017
dramatic fears spilling on a canvas
from my leaky eyes
i've tried the other options
but they seem vaguely painful
too intimate.

i hate that i've let you close
because the closer you are
the more it will hurt when this
doesn't last.

i'm washing away in this flood
and i'm going to pretend it doesn't hurt
this much, to love
and be afraid.
542 · Apr 2017
blue mercury Apr 2017
i am a million wrongs written in braille.
don't touch me, or i will be seen for what i am.
even though i don't know what i am.
so i guess it's best
that you leave me alone.
leave me be
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