Good things don't come easy,
Falling for you has been breezy,
All though we don't always see eye to eye,
I've seen your soul and you've seen mine.

Translucent and cold,
My body doesn't even shiver,
Lips faded to a dull grey,
This isn't old age.
Inside is empty,
As lonely as my shell.
Earth is my personal hell.
They push on my chest,
To rescusitate me.
The blood pumps and for a while,
I'm alive again.
My previous corpse blown away.
But it doesn't take long,
I soon become fragile,
And my insides shatter like glass.
A 100 cuts just in my mind.
Walking down the street you wouldn't tell.
For I delicately place my mask on every day.
To hide my pain and Shame.

On a sloap so slippery,
My mistakes sliding after me,
Feet slipping,
It's getting hard to breath,
As the water comes all over me.
I'm in to deep,

Waiting for the day,
The sun will rise,
But never set,
Meaning the end of me.

He exclaimed I've never met any one like me before,
I smiled for I am not like him,
He sees in me what he wants to see,
Because love is foolish,
Like a man fondeling for a light in the blackness,
He will believe only good rests in the dark,
Because he feels home when I'm only a short stay.

Negativity flows through my veins,
Tainting and poisening my brain,
On the edge, insane.
Happiness a rare treat,
Simple things, being able to eat,
If only it was followed by sleep.

Watching in despair.
Tearing out my hair.
Red faced.
Short breathed.
Is your brain there?
How is this fair.
A girl so young.
Life's ****** out the fun.
Given up.
Out of luck.
But not quite quit.
Everyday throwing crying fits.
Your souls a waste.
My advice you take in distaste.
But you can do better,
Feel better,
Be better.

Remember kiss chase?
A childhood game.
Carried on through adulthood,
Just not in the same way.

Love is beautiful
Love is inevitable
Love is power
Love is destruction
Love brings strength
Love allows weakness
Love is nothing if you're selfish.

We are so busy untangling wires
For little speakers in our ears
We forget to listen to the beauty of the earth.
We see it but ignore it every day.
So accustom to it's ever changing views.
But Music is every where
From the wind whistling through the trees
To the birds belting their beats.
There's no denying nothing is more beautiful then the sounds of earth.

Would it be poetetic to take this blade across my wrist
The silver kissing at my arteries

Would it be romantic
To die because of love
Possessive hands choking me.

Would it be beautiful
To breath my last breath
Leaving behind all those who care.

Or would it be tragic to abondon this world before my time.
Mother and father crying over me.

What happens when the drugs stop working
Prescription. recreational, medicinal
If you feel to weak with out them
You know it's leading to a problem
But that few hour escape is better then reality
That line of coke makes you rational
With out it you'll tear of heads
Cry and be crazy
What happens when taking drugs becomes you're reality
And reality is fiction.

I'm sorry mum
That a I make you sad
That I break things when I'm mad
I shout, screech , scream in your face
Every thing I do is in distaste
I just want you to hate me
But you won't leave me be
Because suicide is selfish,
while you love me.

Every time I think I'm okay
Something comes and steals it away
I Feel happy for a moment
But that's part of the torment
Because when I come back down
I  smash into the ground
Those around me don't understand
Push me so far I raise my hand
But never lay it on any one but myself
What ever this is is bad for my health.
Feel alone when friends are near
Mum ask what's wrong I put her in fear
I can't control these lows or highs
It's even leaving me petrified
Because every day I have a come down
And take it out on every one like a clown.

I want to write a happy poem
With smile from ear to ear
the sort that makes your cheeks hurt
Usually caused by some one dear.

A poem that makes;
The Butterflies fly
and your tummy somersault
Eutrophia making you high.

Using words to melt hearts
Instead of tearing them apart.

Clumsy child,
Why so sad?
Did you make mum and dad mad?
Clumsy child,
What's up?
Did you spill over your sipping cup?
Clumsy child,
Get up,
Or was that beating enough?
Clumsy child,
Where are you now?
Another victim 6 feet underground.

I hope one day I won't rely
On burning ciggerettes
Or getting high
Because I don't want to regret
While looking out at the sky
The love I've lost
The people I make cry
The non existent hope
That I
Will get better.

Growing up all I wanted to be was like my parents.
Now I'm grown up I want to be anything but.

I tell myself to stay away,
Before I turn myself insane,
But diamonds aren't easily got.
Blood is shed.
Families lost.
If man can endure that for a stone,
I  may work my fingers to the bone,
And show you I am not,
Disloyal, untrustworthy, some one to be forgot.
For to you I will never lie,
The truth we will not shy.
And I'm not staying away,
Nor will I lead you astray.

How disappointing must ones life be
That they only find happiness
Through 30 minutes of ***
For 30 seconds of pleasure
And the smoke inhaling in their lungs
Infecting them deeper.

I eat my feelings ,
Exercise my anger,  
Trying to find a healthy way to advert disaster.
The catastrophe that is my mind,
To many emotions make us blind.
Try not to over think,
But don't  over look.
Every decision balanced on a hook.

How do you explain anxiety,
With out any profounaties?
Do you start with the intense urge to hide?
The overwhelming nervousness,
Worse yet followed by sickness.
Your throat begins to burn as the bile churns.
You know it's coming,
Uncontrollable,
Gone,
So you're on the floor again but how many times can you pick your self up?

Imagine paranio
Even your mother is against you
No matter what help reaches out
You believe it's all in spite
But spite of what you can not answer
To trust would be a disaster.
Walls so high most people give up,
And they wonder why you say you aren't good enough?

Then there's the depression
It cuddles these two
Like a evil little family
It could destroy you.
Sadness so deep,
It's hard to move on.
Trying to remind yourself you weren't made wrong.

I've always said head over heart,
Something about you makes my brain depart,
You leave me confused, breathless,
Wanting more,
I won't give up on you,
I'm sure.

Love exists in different forms,
All though some doesn't last,
We can always recover from our scars.

When I saw you and our eyes met,
Something sort of sparked,
You had me lost, captivated,
Our talking didn't stop,
You took my hand and showed me,
The world in another light,
Held me on the beach,
To keep me warm that night.

The night was over way to fast,
I wish it never stopped,
I lost my heart on Brighton beach,
It's a stone there being washed.

I took a train to see you,
And you made time for me,
I fell for you deeper and you told me you loved me,
My stomach did somersaults,
My heart could of stopped,
You actually took my breath away as you tied my throat in knots.

The magic didn't last though,
Off course it never does,
If you believe in fairy tales,
You're in for a shock.
I saw the way he looked at me,
He passed it into her,
His time for me grew smaller and I knew it was lost.

I asked what was happening,
He lied for a week,
Too coward to break the heart of a girl like me.
He told me I was crazy,
I made the whole thing up,
All the while that ***** was gargling on his ****..

I hope to never fall in love,
For my soul mate I've lost,
I don't want to be ripped up again,
For paper I am not.

These days people only love who they deem useful to their life. As soon as they've ****** all the happiness, affection and soul from the person to make themselves feel better they will leave them in a smouldering pit to burn alone and try to figure out how to survive when they've taken all that you were.

I battle my identity,
As people try to label me,
My mum tries to show me the right path,
But is this really destiny?
9-5,
Zero hours,
Holiday and sick pay impossible to claim,
Expected to work for 20 hours a day,
Minimum wage,

This society makes me insane,
On the weekends I can I run away to raves,
Take what ever I can to create waves,
Not like the sea, like to much Dizzle,
Party all night society says that's crazy,

But whats crazy is the war on drugs,
Some users just victims,
Can't get enough.
Instead of giving criminal records,
Affirming our behaviour,
Turning us riot, ruckus,
snapping wires,
How about a little support?
After all how bad must life be,
That children as young as 13 turn to drugs to escape?

It's medical,
Some say medicinal,
But when your mums crying,
Her heart dying,
Because her baby boys been lying?
No one wants police at the door,
But it was gunna be the last night you swore.
A new batch, strong stuff, you didn't believe
And now your six foot under
Rotting, deceased.

But maybe this could change?
If the right support was in place,
For all those getting spaced,
People will always seek a fix,
So why not monitor, control and safe proof it.