The sun is out
but the butterflies have all died
The blooming, the blossoming
the rustling greens have dried

The cold, humid, passionate
nights have all gone
Where once there was love
new love has been born

I do not despise you
I never could
I respect, and adore you
Wish you the best, I always would

Thunder [x10]
I was caught
In the middle of my dream
(thunder)
I looked round
Hit with fear and excitement, I did scream
(thunder)
My mind raced
As I sat up in my room
(thunder)
And I knew
Tonight, our egoes come to a doom
(thunder)
Sound of the drums
Beating in the clouds
Oh thunder, what fun
It gave me a start
I've been
Thunderstruck

Building buildings and highways
Tainting jungles, moulding towns
We think, urbanisation'll fix us, yeah fix us,
and it would be fun
We set big goals
"Re"claimed land to build architectural marvels so fine
Broke all the rules
But weren't we the fools?
No no we, we, we didn't use our minds
And they were shaking all the trees
Witnessing this, I was pleased
Irate nature is feisty, not kind
I've been
Thunderstruck

And they were shaking all the trees
Witnessing this, I was pleased

Thunderstruck, Thunderstruck, Thunderstruck, Thunderstruck
It's alright, we're doin' fine
It's alright, we're doin' fine, fine, fine
Thunderstruck, yeah, yeah, yeah
Thunderstruck, Thunderstruck
Thunderstruck, may we be, may we be
Thunderstruck, I've been Thunderstruck
Thunderstruck, Thunderstruck
I've been Thunderstruck

I cannot keep bearing
The fruits of love
Of joy and hope
For you to relish alone
If you don't shine on me
If you don't quench my thirst
With your nourishing eau
If you leave me here alone
To let winds of death dry me out
But I will try to reach for your light
I will try to be a sunflower...

I fell, hapless, when our souls first met
Just how it happened, oh I will never forget

That wicked one, he worked his charm
Barging into my life, without an alarm

Returned to my senses, when broke, that spell
Trapped as guinea pig, I was, I could tell

His everlasting embrace, it chained my soul
Battered, shattered, half from whole

He left me all alone, but he left me strong
Oh wait, I left him; to say he did, would be wrong

He was but a voice, a frail one, in my head
But I was so affected by all that he said

"You try, you fail, you'll never be good enough
You love, you're hurt, life will always be this rough"

But then I heard my soul so meek
"May I?", he hesitated; I enthused, "sure, speak!"

"You feel like you're dead inside, but look how alive
you sound as you respond with zeal, like you're only about five"

And there released a giggle, a tear
'I found her again, but will I lose her?' I feared

"No, woman, no! The little girl will always be alive"
He said with such credence, "I know she will survive!"

I was falling again, this time, to rise
I turned around to say goodbye, to the one I despise

That voice in my head, refuses to leave
But now, his balderdash, I refuse to believe

He talks, he jabbers, often on mute
I'm lost in sweet spiels, of this new beaut

Now listen, carefully, my stranger friend
If that spiteful voice finds you, shift the trend

Rush out, reach out, to YOU, your soul
protect it from him, maintain your whole

Arduous, it may be, but that voice, do seek to find
For that's true love, not the demeaning voice in your mind

Everyone is talking
About love
Today

Very few
Actually
Loving

What? You need healing?
You are the kind of person
Who can heal herself!

I never believed
Till I experienced joy
It is depressing

Information...
is it dissemination
or confrontation
of the truth behind the lies?
They pull it, stretch it
knead it, shape it
into something
for you to believe
D'oh! We believe
in what we see
and miss out
on little but evident clues
Like doe, we run away from grasslands
towards shady woods of alternate media
pulled, stretched
kneaded
shaped
dough – our reality
something they play with.

Hurt

And unwilling
to fall again

We'll keep touching
each other's hearts

Carefully

Not to cause more cracks
Or to expose our own wounds

Because diving freely
In another
Could mean the risk
Of drowning

And isn't it better to be alone?
Than to be together only to feel alone

So I'll gift you a full smile
Shed some light on your aching heart
Water your gardens
Until you bask in the bloom of shining light

Friend

I'll be another traveller
On your journey, and join you
When you're scared

To take the plunge
To discover broken pieces
Of your soul

I'll help you unpuzzle
If I am able to keep up
Myself

I'll treat you with my whole heart
but only half a hello.

Their eyes met, as her key united with the lock
Cajoled by his gaze, she changed course
And as she followed command, two pairs of lips
Curved, his demeanour turned coarse


As the door banged shut, unease flooded her mind
But from her heart, these clouds did glide
That thundered lustful thoughts
Which she failed to hide


He pulled her high, onto her toes
Bent to draw some passion, from her lips
Surrender she did, with her heart and soul
And followed course, her arms and hips


Sandwiched between his chest and the wall
Her heart surpassed a tempo she had not known
He hushed her gasps with his pursing lips
Causing a rhyme of moans


But just then, the mind resurfaced
Unable to stand, but had to run
Kissed goodbye, headed to the window
"See you soon, you were fun!"

I don't speak for or against
Except that I do speak
For humanity, against violence
If you...pick up that blob of attack
Smother it with vengeance
and throw; then run...and run as fast as you can
Because it will come back
As a bigger, nastier blob
Run, but a hiding place you won't find
How can you run from hatred?
When it has sunk into your very bones
Do you see it in the mirror each day?
It is eating up your soul
How can you live in peace?
With so much ugliness creepily creeping up
How low can you stoop? Another hit will tell
Why can't you control the bad
If it is really so, through good?
What's the difference then, between you and them?
You **** innocents in the process too
Then you too, must be a terrorist, dear government, isn't that true?

Look into my eyes
When I look at you
Do you see darkness?
Do you see me too?

Do you see the void
That I try to fill?
Through little exchanges
Killing silent moments that ****

Look into my eyes
Try to read more than you see
You may learn a thing or two
But can you, really, know me?

Do you see a soul
Who is as lost as you?
Do you see a friend?
Do you see an enemy too?

A lot of our hearts
Would have remained
Unbroken
Should we have treated
Our dreams
Like we did
Our lovers

Alone. Still with you.

I retire alone on the bed that could be yours too
Yet, not alone, I feel, as your thoughts sit up and watch me sleep
I wake up to an emptiness brimming with emotions
That you've left me with, to keep me company
I sit by the window, hapless, tired, in tears
For those memories barge into my space
I sprint down a pathway, smiling like an idiot
As many more memories surface
Sometimes I catch myself humming tunes
To songs I never knew of, before you
Sometimes I notice my habits
That have changed, under the influence of you
Voice notes have filled my music library
Sped up heart beats, my empty spaces
New revelations, my mind, light crimson, my cheeks
You've opened doors to a room I didn't know existed
You've taught me things I'd have to unlearn
And relearn what you made me forget
If you're not coming back
If I have to keep walking without you.
But no, I'm not complaining
I thank you, my love
For you've left me with so much
So much yearning, for you...

I am beautiful
Inside and out
With the most enigmatic eyes
And a heart of gold
                                      How do you know?
I've been told

I am a mouse
I cannot opine
Because I have no opinions of my own
I can never be bold
                                      How do you know?
I've been told

I am a ******
A semi-psychotic person
Who is warm, one moment
And another, unpredictably cold
                                      How do you know?
I've been told

I am coy, too shy
Too straightforward
For this twisted world
I'm from an era too old
                                      How do you know?
I've been told

I am bold, too bold
In my sexuality
I am losing character
Of which, I need to get a hold
                                      How do you know?
I've been told

I am not a woman, or even human
No really, I'm an armchair
I am not who I perceive myself to be
My identity belongs to them, me - they mould
                                      How do you know?
Do I have to be told?

One fine morning, as the sun looked swell
A bunch of kids decided to head to a newfound beach
Enamoured by sea and sand
They chose to accompany the sun and the moon there
They tested the sand, mixed in some water to hold
Resumed the moulding and holding
The sand together
They kept the turtles at bay
And flicked away any baby ***** that showed up to claim their homeland
They shot the black birds that came to rest by the castle
For this beauty was theirs to relish alone
Some doves were entertained with food,
But no menace tolerated
Except for that of these blond brats
Yet, the day seemed swell
And fair
Then came a boy, big and bullyrag
Who twitched, punched, threw a tantrum
For this was his playground
He seeked power, and have it he shall
Just like every rowdy, stubborn, spoilt kid
And when rebellion surfaced, he stomped
Killed the *****, and turtle blood spill
The boys left aghast, he messed up America
Or did he...alone?

Do you know...
What families are made up of?
What cousins plan to do to you, behind your back?
With whom father was having those long conversations over the phone?
What happens with some of the best friendships?
Why loving a lover almost always only hurts?

Maybe we fail to decipher this world
Maybe this world fails to express more s*imply

They said, people are strange,
When you're a stranger
They knew, and people get even
Even stranger once you dive into them
Once familiarity becomes so familiar, it irks
They pierce into your mind
Straws of trust, and leech out every bit of you
Your essence must evaporate
In the drought of love and kindness

People are strange
They crave for colour to fill up their lives
but never to seep into their skin
They want a rich friend, a poor one as much
A girl, a boy, transgender, gay, bisexual, asexual
But a lover, only as conditioning and the general tainted view of the world permits

People are strange
They say blood is thicker than water
But blood is poisoned and water
It needs distillation
They say they love when they don't
And nothing when they do
They say a lot of things
That only confuse

People are strange
All for love, no to hate
Until of course, higher motives surface
One heartbreak, all men are Gates of Defecation
One attack, entire fraternity blamed
One moment of broken trust,
A million of murdering reason

People are strange
No matter who you are
And yet, you fall in love
Because people are strange

You showed me some things
About my heart; it could melt
But it could break too

You may fail
To bear fruit
But you're there
To give shade

To my sorrows

My heart learnt today
It can now beat for ever
Not for a reason

From my inner passions
I'll let that fire ignite
Once again

Let my head be held high
Let my heart run wild
Once again

I'll close my eyes
And make the tides rise
Once again

Run with the wolves in dense lanes
When the moon shines
Once again

Nobody's fool, not a nomad
I'll be the only queen...mine
Once again

I am so sorry, my dear
I really, truely love you
I just don't show it
I cannot, not always
Sometimes I do little things
For you
Sometimes, I stop
I wonder if my efforts help
Do they matter?
Do they fix anything at all?
I wonder, and so I hesitate
And as you twirl in your own trance
From dusk to dawn
My hopes follow the rising sun,
And I try
Again
To do something
However little
Even if it makes
A speckle bloom
I'll be glad

But
That’s all you are
I scratch the surface
To find something I can indulge myself in
Something more
Deeper, something meaningful
I scratch
I scratch
I scratch
That beautiful face
It’s beautiful no more

Hey, you...me
Stop paying heed
To that cacophony
Of tainted intention
And misinformed opinion
Listen to that voice
It speaks softly
But tells you everything loud and clear
The voice that you think comes from within
That is me
On the outside, looking in on you
Trying desperately, to reach you
From another dimension
As you live
The life
I already have
In the past

You come back
Saying you are a changed man
No matter how many times
You change your land
No matter how deep
You feel, you say you can

You cannot
Match the rhythm
Of my aching heart
You cannot stop
And start
You're mosaic
And I'm basic
Blues
And hues
Of grey

You think pruning
Makes a pretty garden
But I foresee thorns
Growing beneath
The perfectly perfect surface

We had a canvas each
You and I
Half and half
We could've painted
But you chose to taint it
And now you hope
That we could add
A layer or two
Fix what's broken
Between me and you
You don't realize, emotions take time
Even if I tried
It could take me a lifetime or two
To fall in love with you
If
Ever

Oh, and if you called
And opened your arms, I would
Run back into them

Sometimes
In healing ourselves
We end up
Making ourselves stronger
Than before

Sometimes, for years together
we die every day, we suffer

We live the same cycle of pain,
making resolutions in vain

Then, one fine day, out of nowhere
It comes our way; we stop and stare

As if, it broke our train of thought
In reality, it helped strangle the monotony we fought

Until that day, from inside a grave, we stared outside at evolution
Our world stood still, but now, it tides a revolution

A seeming chaos has never felt more comforting, more structured
Now that we're following our own orders, untethered

Even lust falls
Weak
In the knees
When
Love
Enters the room

"I'm hurt and crumbling
Little by little
Each day"

"YOU are not hurt
Your expectations are
Your emotions are
Your tender little heart is
But YOU...are more than that"

"People hurt me
Especially the ones I like
Especially the ones I open my heart to"

"Because YOU let them. Love them, but remain detached"

"How do I connect if I remain detached?"

"Detachment
isn't disconnection, my child
It isn't holding a flower
and your nose
It is
escaping in the beauty of its fragrance
yet remaining grounded
knowing the fragrance is real
only because of perception
If you perceived it to be foul
It would be foul smell
but you perceive it as aromatic
So, so it is
Detachment is being aware
of perception
and reality
and the illusion of it all
It isn't disengaging
it is knowing
engagement
and of it
within
and without"

You
Consume what comes your way
Bask in the light of day
So easy
On everyone around
From cracks, through, you make your way
Your tendrils embellish, enliven
The monotony of concrete walls
Your blooming songs
Attract buzzing and chirping bones
So silently, slowly, you encroach
But barely conquer
You rule the heart of this blooming world

I've always appreciated you
On the outside

Eye lashes that flutter
Acting like a wand
Soft brown eyes
So humble and warm
Curls so beautiful
They sing their own song

Until, slowly, I started to notice
The world of wonder you carry around

A mind, a melting *** of creativity
Always overflowing

A heart, like that of a mother's
Always so caring

A soul, a galaxy of energies
Always showing...

...beauty

Butterflies
In my stomach
Would go berserk
Each time
You said something
Each time
You did something
As also
Each time
You didn't

Hey you, smile today
At yourself, and at the world
Shower them with love!

The rain pours
Outside
As we sit
In my car
I occupy
The driver's seat
You...
my heart and head

Eyes meet, hearts kindle
One step...
                                            Two

Petals unfurl, minds unravel
Two steps...
                                          Three

Strings entwine, souls bind
Three steps...
                                           Four

Inhibitions shed, vibes align
Four steps...
                                            Five

Halos crack, fangs emerge
Five steps...
                                              Six

Curiosity begins to surge...




    -----  Intermission -----

Words are not needed
Not too many, not always
To touch many hearts

I was
Too boring for him

He was
Too frivolous for me

I'm struggling to stay afloat
Not in view a single boat

As fins of darkness approach and threaten
And hungry thoughts, their grip, fasten

I bleed my life into infinite waters
Sinking an inch a second, hope getting shorter

What is this game
Of hide and seek
That you play
With a heart you otherwise love?
You seem to like
To watch it bleed
The more it oozes out its life
For you
The closer you get
To **** on it
But what when I bleed?
Suddenly my stains
Are ugly
My mind is scary
But my heart is shaky
Coffee
And chocolates
And flowers
Don't heal me
A warm hug
A caressed forehead
Some loving words
Would
But you'd never know
Unless in another life
You take birth as a woman
And experience
Love
Overflowing
Every single day
And only the colour of love
Overflowing disgust
On 'those' days

Not every tree
has the deepest of roots
Not every leaf
belongs on the shoots
Not every petal
unfurls to reveal the truth
Not every flowering plant
will bear the same fruit

Not every bud
will necessarily bloom

And that's the harsh truth of life

Your soul is a deep hole within my heart
You've been messing with my head, from the very start

Why do you inject me with so much life
that your absence causes me much strife?

It's deceiving, your face, that look of calm
Your evil, intense eyes that cajole with charm

Your words, they fester at lightning speed
My garden of thoughts is abundant, yet another seed

Now my bleeding heart is aching more
Don't leave me here, yearning and sore

Let me dive deeper into you
Exploring every tide
You've ripped me apart, explored
Now let me, why do you hide?

Why fear peeling your skin
do you think I'll run away from what's within?

Don't you know, we're both made of dust?
There's nothing that repels, beneath the crust

Open the door, I'm knocking hard
Let me, if I can, soothe what's marred

I love you
So much
I dream
Of saving you
From drowning.

I despise you
So much
I dream
Of drowning you
To death.

Every day.

It's that time again
When the tides rise
In roaring symphony
Like the howls in our souls
A time for emotions
To sing and indulge
In a mad dance
That would confuse one's whole
It's that time again
For energies to take a flight
As spirits float about, exhilarated
By the rock outshining every star in sight
When our demons challenge and test
The patience of angels hiding in their heart
When he who learns to invoke a guide
And channelize intent, learns the art