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Jun 21 · 78
Ashes to Ashes
Britney Lyn Jun 21
Everything I touch, everything I let into my aching soul, burns.
They turn to ash before my eyes and all I can hear are all of their cries.
I’m toxic, a disease.
My emotions are guarded because if I let them break free,
The things around me set ablaze and I swear this is not just a phase, it’s me.
A villain, not a victim.
So when I warn you not to let me in, to keep on moving along.
It’s for your benefit I swear to you, this illusion, facade, the **** truth.
I’m no good, not for me, not for you.
Apr 29 · 88
Mercy
Britney Lyn Apr 29
Beautiful as the blood dripping from my arm, the dress she wore the color of scarlett.
Hugging her like a second skin, flowing marvelously around her feet in such beauty.
Her hourglass frame a ticking time bomb, her sinful smile the fuse.
The beauty of fatality, a posionous, venomous muse.
Have mercy upon my soul, dear Mercy of mine.
Lovely bones covered in flesh, tongue as sharp as a knife.
Hands that grip the heart that beats, eyes of honey fire.
Catch me please for when I fall, head first towards desire.
Mar 3 · 63
The Small Things
Britney Lyn Mar 3
I know, I know it’s hard I really, really do. But if you take a step outside, or open your window and just breath in that fresh cool air. Look at all the building and trees you’ll realize how big and beautiful the world really is. Those trees started as small little seeds and grew into something that gives us shade and oxygen. Those houses started as a small idea in someone’s brain and housed families. That air you’re breathing is for you and you alone. Nobody can breathe that same breath you just took. And you are worth a million more. Trust me.
I wrote this in a message to a friend that was going through a hard time. I thought it was somewhat poetic and deep.
Hope you like it!
Mar 1 · 186
Slave
Britney Lyn Mar 1
What am I to you? If not a priority than what? A time filler, a toy to be played with, someone to occupy your company when you get lonely? I fear I’ll never truly know the answer, or maybe I’m scared to face the answer I’ve already been given. My brain constantly telling me I’m nothing but a waste of space, a piece of *** who was born for nothing more than your enjoyment and yours alone. The flickers of pain I feel are simply the cards I have been dealt, and there is no arguing with fate. A stake to the heart would hurt less than this poison you’ve spilled into my mouth by the presence of your tongue, is it love? It flows through my being with so much warmth I don’t think I’d be able to tell the difference. And how dare I care or feel anything that involves me, myself and I alone, when I’m only meant to feel for you. You remind me constantly of your needs and wants and put to shame my thoughts, how invalid they must be. You trace the scars on my body with your talons, never letting me forget how deeply you are attached to me. I’m tired of fighting a battle that simply cannot be won, of fighting the army that is you, and how much destruction you have caused in your wake. I’m tired, I’ll rip the white dress from my body and lay bare for you in surrender. It’s tattered pieces like a white flag waving.
Feb 27 · 99
Snow/Flake
Britney Lyn Feb 27
Winter winds like cracking whips upon my flesh,
My face blushed with February’s cool kisses.
Walking upon snow cover pavement,
My feet fall like concret upon its blank canvas.
To find peace in something so simple,
To face a frozen tundra with a frozen heart.
Fearful that the cracks could shatter,
Such as the hidden sidewalk underneath.
Snowflakes lick my cheeks, and I to wish to melt with contact.
But I am not of snow, merely a flake in a world of such beauty.
Jan 16 · 195
Secrets and Lies
Britney Lyn Jan 16
To the tune of your hypocrisy she lay awake and debate this life that she had grown so accustom to.
A mere glimpse of this plague that you call “truth”, buried deep within your bones, alone, gentle mercy muse.
But beg no more for the fate you’d hope for, vacant; she is not here.
Even a childish girl would see through these words, weeping from the vile that spews from your mouth; lies.
To play on a heart in which strings are frayed, a game in which both sides are doomed.
From what is right and what is wrong, a choice you must make; choose or loose.
Jan 8 · 247
Dreams and Visions
Britney Lyn Jan 8
So hear my words and take them in,
I promise you'll see me soon.
On one cold nigh I'll come to you,
My skin reflecting the moon.
Dec 2018 · 952
Corruption
Britney Lyn Dec 2018
I’m so tired of begging for romance in things that are less than romantic by nature. I refuse to get on my knees and plead to the tune of your hypocrisy. Affection and appreciation in the slightest would subdue this mind that consumes my worth, but second thoughts plague this waking body and fuel your comfort upon thy throne. Disappointment comes easily to a girl who simply picks flowers for their beauty when that is truly all they have to offer. Petals falling with her patience and wilt with her happiness. Good riddance to the man who took for granted a warrior in flesh and basked in the tears that filled his cup. Good riddance to prideful acts that pedestal his motives in the shame of any female who dare fall victim to his cause. Righteous is he who puts himself above others, a victorious smile smitten in vicious tendencies.
Dec 2018 · 87
You Are Poetry
Britney Lyn Dec 2018
I love you so much. And I wish more than anything I could put into words just how much, but words just are never enough. I think of writing about your eyes, the shifting colors of a deep sea with drowning stars that twinkle when your looking at me. I think to put into words the way your laugh plays my favorite songs, how I wake up every morning longing to see that smile, the one you made special for me. I think to write about the sandy landscape of your waves that fall perfectly around that face I so much adore. I think to write about the edges and hollows of your body and the way I love to trace my fingers along it, in fear I'll one day forget it's perfection. The way I feel when you touch me, when I no longer have a care about the outside world but rather the world we have created inside our small apartment, together. You are more a poem than anyone could ever write. Please stay forever by my side so I can love you every day of this life.
To my dear William
Nov 2018 · 330
Icarus, Forbidden Love
Britney Lyn Nov 2018
So you've left all ties to this life behind.
I'll search, I'll search for your eyes.
But staring at something that shines so bright,
Will surely make you blind.
For those who soar too close to the sun,
Must feel it’s burning lies.
The biggest star in all my sky,
I’ll fly, I swear I’ll try.
Oh beauty in this flame of mine.
Burning light, sun kissed sight,
Eternal fire, a bid goodnight.
The moon; a better friend.
A broken heart I’ll never mend,
A life without you, I’ll try again.
In the morrow I’ll repair these wings,
To fly the sky that starlight brings.
No fire to scorch thy pride,
Only moonlight shall be my guide.
A day away, from blistering fate,
The star that could never be mine.
Oct 2018 · 287
Nick
Britney Lyn Oct 2018
Inhale, exhale.
The smoke I blow from my lungs through my lips, drifting out in a cloud of you.
Lingering in the air, the taste of you on my lips.
A scheduled meeting with my addiction everyday at noon, 3, 5 , 6 and 9.
Filling a void inside of me, you consume all of me.
Relieving the stress of the world as I get high on your chemicals.
A simple yet intoxicating reaction you bring forth within me,
But no sooner you disappear from the air around me, leaving me empty.
I want to take all of you in, yet savor this moment, where I kiss you to my lips like before.
Adhering to your demands to just take more, take more.
A prisoner to the schedule you have etched into my brain, a liar to my family that I’ve quit you.
But the truth is my dear Nick, I never will, because you won’t let me forget you.
Oct 2018 · 916
Connected
Britney Lyn Oct 2018
It’s been obvious for awhile now that we’ve gone our separate ways.
But I can’t help but bring you to the front of my mind every day I wake.
The urge to check up on you, make sure you’re okay, is unbearable to say the least.
To know if you look the same way you did nearly a year ago, or did you change?
To hear that laugh that used to make me sing.
To feel your touch graze my arm, caress my cheek.
All that keeps me going is the saying that everything happens for a reason.
Maybe fate will bring us together once again, even just as friends.
I look up at the sky and smile knowing you’re seeing the same as I.
The perspective might be different but you see the same moon, see the same clouds, feel the same wind.
Even if we have no future, we are all connected, whether we want to be or not.
And maybe that’s enough for me.
Oct 2018 · 85
Extraordinary
Britney Lyn Oct 2018
I was born for extraordinary love,
A prisoner to a heartbeat,
Seductive, captivating, mine.
Never flatlining in the outline of us,
A hidden agenda filled with time stamps of you.
Two stars never falling away from each other.
Powerful, guiding, free.
Sep 2018 · 90
Maskings
Britney Lyn Sep 2018
Of course I'm fine, why do you ask?
Oh don't mind this, it's just my mask.
It hides the grief, it hides the strife.
I wear this mask to escape my life.
You say my heart must be a sight.
It's bruised but beating, black as night.
It's not just my heart, it's in my soul.
You're killing me like it's your goal.
You're getting close, I hope you know.
You really don't have far to go.
But you don't know, you never ask.
You never look, beyond the mask.
Sep 2018 · 93
I Wonder If You Wonder
Britney Lyn Sep 2018
I wonder if you think about me as much as I think of you.
If I cross your mind in the dead of night.
If I creep into your dreams and if you wake up to my face in the front of your mind.
I wonder if you think of me when someone speaks my name, or if you can pass the letters over your lips without them quivering.
If you look over at your passenger seat as the sun sets and glimpse my smile.
If you recall all the memories we shared and hold them as close as I.
I wonder if you pass by someone on the street and question for a second if it’s me, if you hoped for a moment that it was.
If you miss the warmth in your hand where mine would me.
I wonder if your lips miss the familiar taste of mine, if you miss the presence of my body laying beside yours.
I wonder if you ever think to call or text, to send a letter to the girl you made a mess.
I wonder if I still mean something...anything, to you, or if I ever did at all.
Because you were everything to me.
I see you in everything I do, everywhere I go, because I miss it all, I miss you.
And I’m sorry I couldn’t be what you needed.
I’m sorry...
But I needed you too,
And you left.
Sep 2018 · 85
Familiar Faces
Britney Lyn Sep 2018
I haven’t had much to drink since you left.
At first it was just to spite you, but I realize now I don’t need it.
I tried to drown my demons instead of face them.
I looked them in the eye and realized they were the same eyes that captivated mine.
Yours.
I no longer drink to drown them or fight them.
I welcome them with open arms because they are the closest thing I have to your embrace.
I’m now comforted in their company.
They ease my mind because they wear your face.
Sep 2018 · 390
Safe Haven
Britney Lyn Sep 2018
He was the one who held me in his arms while I was curled in on myself, weeping. Literally gripping my heart, trying to keep myself from completely falling apart. Watching it seep through my fingers like the sand in our lifespan hourglass. He was there to wipe away the tears that never stopped pouring. He was there when I believed myself to be utterly alone; at my worst when I was cruel to anything with a beating heart because I was oh so tired of mine getting broken.
Sep 2018 · 103
Our Shattered Pieces
Britney Lyn Sep 2018
Maybe it’s because I felt I owed you something for giving me all that happiness,
For you to never slip my mind, though I’ve tried to drown you out.
Intoxicating thoughts of you lingered as the toxins took over my being.
As if your hands warmed up my body and heart once again.
My veins a map you sketched to life, but I’m merely a rough draft of the love I thought we were.
Though I gave you everything I was equipped to give, I still couldn’t make you whole, even as you left me empty.
Pieces of my heart were forged to make you anew, but it wasn’t enough.
And neither were you...
I settled into my sober thoughts, no longer drunk off fake love; fake words.
Affections molded to keep me quiet, this happiness I crave wasn’t true.
How could a heart truly love when it’s as cold as you?
A glass heart doesn’t beat, only breaks, as I do.
Yet I can’t seem to slip you out of my mind, by force or gentle persuasion.
I’m condemmed to this loop, hoping you share the same fate as I.
The shattered pieces that remain here hurt, I hope the ones you took do too.
We can bleed together, you and I. Maybe then I’d be enough for you.
Why do I still miss you?
Jun 2018 · 158
She Was Made Of Moonlight
Britney Lyn Jun 2018
Hidden beneath the midnight sky,
A captivating sight that met my eye.
A silken grenade ready to blow,
A gentle touch for me alone.
Golden hues on moonlit skin,
A beautiful smile seeping with sin.
Freckled stars upon her cheeks,
Limbs as fragile as old antiques.
The flowing melody that left her lips,
Haunts my dreams and tightens it's grip.
I loved her from the moment I saw,
That face that made my cold heart thaw.
May 2018 · 647
Overthrown
Britney Lyn May 2018
I won't dare write your name, the letters no longer plague my mind. I haven't spoken its language in so long, that I have finally rid my tongue of it's captivity.
I write this because you were once amazed by the memories held timelessly onto the paper my pen met. You told me to never stop writing, and why would I? Why would I allow you to rid my life of something else I love?
Listening to you was easy, because that's all I ever knew. Wrists bound to metaphorical chains, but even bound I trailed ahead. Remember, I do not belong to you, I never did.
I made up your apologizes in my head, the simple sorry's you never said. But how could I have forgotten, you never do anything wrong. Up on your throne, you were the king of "everything", but the day I walked away that all changed. For you ruled over me no longer.
You built up lives, more than just I, and burnt them down until we became the fire, yet our flames were only few. I refused to be tamed as if a beast trapped inside the rib cage in you.
Our lives were intertwined, but not knotted together. We were two forces too great. I broke out of those chains, and escaped your heart forever.
I am a queen that bows to no man, and a ***** that will wear no leash.
The wolves have been hunted by the pawns they call their sheep.
Apr 2018 · 96
Wilted Lover
Britney Lyn Apr 2018
He was like a blooming rose.
His words scattered with thorns, captivating, deadly.
A beauty dressed in scarlet, floral masculinity.
Pricked with manipulation, bleeding as his petals fell.
Tears hitting like bullets, promises shattering like glass.
Alas a rose is just a rose, and flowers never last.
Even though I may end up bleeding, he still wipes it every time.
Apr 2018 · 84
"Another Day, Another..."
Britney Lyn Apr 2018
How bittersweet the world must be,
To have seen it's beauty yet felt it's touch.
To have gathered the strength to merely wake up.
Apr 2018 · 315
Porcelain Puppet
Britney Lyn Apr 2018
Staring at the girl who used to be innocent and pure,
Now just a mannequin of hated nothingness.
Dressed in the color red, a representation of love,
Now representing only that of which she lost.
The tears running down a perfect porcelain face,
Smudged makeup smeared upon its appearance.

I am beginning to realize I was nothing more than a burden, a bother, a mirror reflection.
Mocking me as my world comes crashing down,
My heart now unknown and forgotten.
The perfect picture you painted me to be was not even me at all.
Dolling me up, and puppetting me around, to follow your every will and whim.
You pressed me into this mold of a person, you taught me who I should and shouldn’t be.
So now that you’re gone, which me, is me...?
Who am I supposed to be?
Mar 2018 · 242
Thorns Taken Root
Britney Lyn Mar 2018
My relationship with you was like a plant,
That blossomed into a rose.
Beautiful from afar but if I got too close,
Held onto it a little too tight,
The thorns would hold on tighter,
Sink in deep within the skin.
The roots would grow, deeper and deeper.
Even when the roses had been cut from their stem,
The roots remained with me, deep within.
What once was beautiful, left behind a trail or scars.
Much like the rain hitting my window,
On the nights I miss you most.
They evaporate and fade,
much like the love you once had for me.
Once upon a time that ended in tragedy.
Mar 2018 · 90
You're Just Another Poem
Britney Lyn Mar 2018
If there is one thing I've learned about you, it's that you are equally as self destructive as I am.
You didn't want to fall in love with me, you didn't want to fall in love at all.
Between the two of us we managed to sabotage something beautiful.
And now your name burns my throat like a shot of cheap *****, leaving a taste so vile I can't help but spit you out.
At the end of the day we really were just two ****** people trying to destroy each other, before we could destroy ourselves.
Mar 2018 · 170
Burning
Britney Lyn Mar 2018
I'll drag myself out of your bed, and through the door,
I heard you didn't want me anymore.
Isn't that what you said?
That you didn't want all of these skeletons?
Hiding in your closet, when she came home.
I'll throw them in the fire and watch them turn to ash,
Watch them burn with the rest of the trash.
I only ever aimed to make you smile,
Honestly I haven't seen it in awhile...
Will you take my hand and burn with me?
We could get rid of all the bad things,
Erase all the thoughts with band aids.
I wait for you to come back to me,
But then I see our fire burning,
And realize you won’t be returning.
Mar 2018 · 112
Captivating Waters
Britney Lyn Mar 2018
And as I stare out at the water,
With it's eerie dark grays and violent blues,
The heavy currents disrupting any source of gentleness it may hold,
I think in my head about running and running,
Until it's time for me to jump,
And once I'm submerged, surrounded by black,
I will ponder the thought of not coming back up,
Of just letting the water have me,
For I am already captivated by it's beauty.
A beauty that has already taken my breath away.
Mar 2018 · 146
Lyssa
Britney Lyn Mar 2018
Fearless, hateful, focused only on ripping others apart.
At least, that's the reputation.
But underneath that warlike facade, gentleness, justice.
Those deserving of a wrath so beast like, so morbid.
The wolves will tear them apart,
The owls will feast on their eyes.
Bloodshot, terrified, knowing all too well the story.
Behind the mask she puts on for the world,
Merely a girl, following orders, bringing the deserving to their knees.
Their lips forming words that beg her please,
Passionate as war, fragile as glass,
The girl with the fiery hair and paper mache mask.
Greek Goddess of the Underworld, known as the spirit for mad rage, and frenzies and rabies in animals.
She is portrayed as a Goddess of war, she cares deeply for her fellowships and does not afflict rage upon anyone who doesn't deserve it.
Britney Lyn Mar 2018
I roasted marshmallows over our burning memories
The pictures caught fire like the love we once had.
I covered it in the only thing that tasted sweeter than you,
And smashed it between our opposite barriers.
I devoured our love in all it's sticky, false goodness...
And at the end of the day, it was the best smores I'd ever had.
Feb 2018 · 185
Soldier In The Machine
Britney Lyn Feb 2018
Sometimes you have to put that mask of a smile upon your own face, you have to believe your own happiness.
But what is to happen to the scars you just can't seem to erase, that are supposed to make up who you really are.
Sometimes I day dream about the before. About how things were up until we were told who we are meant to be, how we are made to act.
Who each of us would be individually instead of which piece we play to make us all a whole.
But at the end of the day some things you just don't say, and I can't say I'm a believer or that I end my days on my knees to pray.
I don't really understand how our lives happen to go by so fast, no wonder we end our days out of breath.
Some of us are meant to be in the light of day, easy lives but easy prey.
And some of us are meant to stay in the shade, hard teachings to make us strong, but who the hell cares if we die one day anyway.
I can honestly say I don't know what I'm doing with my life or what my role is in the grand plan we all take a part in.
I can't say I enjoy putting on this front every day to just get by, by hey, it's great to be alive...
Feb 2018 · 66
Realization
Britney Lyn Feb 2018
Hope you didn't see,
The look in my eyes,
When I realized,
I was in love with another,
And no longer in love,
With the ocean that is you.
Feb 2018 · 262
The Blackout
Britney Lyn Feb 2018
The first time I blacked out I was with you.
I'd never drank in front of you before and I only had a few, but you brought me more.
My intentions were only to forget the **** going on inside of my head.
So three because twelve and the room began to spin,
But not at first.
At first I was light, my body was not my own, I felt this power and you called me beautiful.
I was in total control...
Then, I wasn't.
I laughed loudly and I shouted to speak,
I talked about nothing's and got caught up in the sheet.
I could not walk so I started to crawl, to check my phone, if I'd missed a call.
I started to repeat myself, over and over again.
You realized I was done for and took me to your bed instead.
You laid me down and cradled my face, you shook me to snap me out.
"I'm in control, I've got this, I'm in control, I've got this" repeating, pouring from my lips.
The lips you leaned down and tenderly kissed.
My mind reacted but my lips could not move, they kept talking about control and about you.
"You love him, but he doesn't love you, you love him, but he doesn't love you" repeating, flowing from my mouth.
You left the room, left me alone, you couldn't handle my doubt.
A whole hour later you came back to me, I was still talking, repeating, repeating.
"Nobody loves you, just die, nobody loves you, just die" catching on the breath that left as I spoke.
You sat next to me and on my words I began to choke.
You shook me really hard and smacked at my face lightly.
I came into consciousness and then fell into sleep silently.
Another memory I'm pouring out like the bottle of cheap ***** you remind me of.
Feb 2018 · 198
Colors
Britney Lyn Feb 2018
Innocence follows her, but inside she's wild,
She thinks of things that shouldn't be thought.
Her mind plays tricks while her heart ceases desire,
A fiction of its own, a lesson never taught.
And as she lays in bed at night, her eyes never truly close,
Seeing the colors in silhouette form, the painful memory shows.
The pitter-patter of a heart, beaten and broken yet fixed,
The silent screams in the dark, yet not a sound, transfixed.
A rage trapped beneath her light, she refuses to become what she hates,
The river that flows within her veins, a poison left to manipulate.
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, she sings the melody again,
Paper bags and plastic hearts, a tune for only the insane.
"Each one has a color" she points to them all "some light and some dark"
"But those colors change in life when that person changes their mark."
I wrote this 6 years ago. Please be mindful.
Jan 2018 · 1.3k
Purple and Blue
Britney Lyn Jan 2018
Cannot sleep, all these memories are haunting me; purple and blue, a gift from you.
Will they stay? When will they fade?
To die like the happiness that seems to have left me, oh so heavy.
Take this heart, stomp out all the little pieces you created, all the pieces that you hated.
Hide my face away from the hidden, show me only to the blind.
Trust is not something that is easily given, especially from this heart of mine.
Lying on the ground, where you struck me down; battered, betrayed, I pray for the day.
Someone save me, for I am too shattered to do so myself, someone save me from this life that is my hell.
Help.
I wrote this piece 6 years ago today.
Jan 2018 · 467
Nothing's The Same Anymore
Britney Lyn Jan 2018
And the worst part about letting you go is I had to let go of everything you ruined. When I listened to my favorite songs I could no longer enjoy the rhythm or get lost in the lyrics, no. Instead I got lost in the way your lips sang along with the words, the way your eyes lit up when I decided to join you. I could no longer just drive down the road because every time I happen to glance at that passenger side, I could see glimpses of you. I could hear you from a distance laughing at the jokes I told. I could no longer walk down my hometown street without feeling your hand in mine, or go to the grocery store without relieving those moments in our favorite late night spot. I couldn't bare going to the park and listening to the leaves in the wind or watching the stars at night because you took that away from me too. You ruined the things in life that made me smile, that made me happy. My sheets are in the form of your silhouette and reek of your soul. I cannot wear my favorite top, I cannot view another sunset... because of you. I don't wear my hair the same way, I don't speak the same way. I cannot bare the loss of you. But I need to.
I wrote this about a month ago but didn't think it was perfected enough to be shared.
After going back to it recently and fixing it a little, I am still not happy with the final product but maybe this poem is supposed to stay imperfect, because the relationship behind it never was.
Jan 2018 · 242
But We Are Made Of The Same
Britney Lyn Jan 2018
I, of snow
You, of sea.
Cold, yet warm to touch,
Warm, yet cold to depth.
Our hearts, protected by barriers,
Our love, formless, constantly raining.
But yet you admire the pale snow,
And I, forever longing for the touch of sea.
I was inspired by a picture I found about a snowflake and the sea. Even though they take on different forms and temperatures they are still only water.
Jan 2018 · 121
Skeletons In The Closet
Britney Lyn Jan 2018
We all have secrets that we wish to keep but let me take a moment of your time to tell you mine.
My skeletons are simple, they are the ***** laundry that piles all the way up to the top where I wish my esteem could be.
I barely have the energy to get out of bed, take a shower, eat, something.
I can hardly go about my day to day casual living, so the pile just keeps on building.
I push my skeletons away when company is coming, and only then am I aware of how bad it has gotten.
It's not just my skeletons that are gathering dust and withering away, no.
It is I, sitting there all full of decay in the middle of the day, wasting time being sad rather than happy.
It is I, becoming one with my skeletons, my fragile ribs poking through my paling skin.
It is I, laying in my bed wishing it were a coffin, as my laundry sits untouched in my closet,
Because we all know that's where skeletons like to hide.
Sitting inside your very flesh waiting for you to rot and die so they can finally be found and come alive.
Jan 2018 · 296
Até
Britney Lyn Jan 2018
No one sees the real thing.
Demons dance for her and sing.
Ashes of flesh coat her skin.
Bones of darkness lie within.
The game she plays, a trick of mind.
The beauty she is will make you blind.
Once you allow this temptress near.
Your heart will be only that of fear.
Her lust to **** is all she seeks.
Her words will end you as she speaks.
The Greek Goddess of Evil and Misfortune.
The personification of Infatuation - "the rash foolishness of blind impulse, usually caused by guilt and leading to retribution.
She was the daughter of Eris and Zeus and a temptress who lead humans toward evil.
Jan 2018 · 520
Gateway
Britney Lyn Jan 2018
He really was the devil, a devil in disguise.
He treated me like the queen I longed to be,
He had these brown, shadowed eyes.
They held some sort of affection, it seemed only for me,
But underneath that darling smile there was no soul to see.
The gateway was open, for what seemed like forever ago.
Something had happened, to his once beautiful soul.
Lucifer loved; he loved, and he lost.
He loved so much his soul it would cost.
His wings were torn, he cried, he fell.
The devil before me, didn't love me I could tell.
A trickster he was, the fool he made me out to be.
He cast me out as he once was, alone for eternity.
Jan 2018 · 127
In Over My Head
Britney Lyn Jan 2018
Who cares how high I fill the bath water when I'm already in over my head. I don't remember what it's like to sleep no matter how often I say "I'm going to bed". And don't ******* touch me because I'll probably shatter, and for god's sake don't ask me what is the matter.
I found this in one of my old notebooks from high school.
Jan 2018 · 173
A Light Dimmed To Dark
Britney Lyn Jan 2018
Her thoughts are as dark as a moonless sky, and as hollow as the river that flows through her, cold, deadly.
She searches for the stars that are there to guide, each one lost, there presence ever haunting.
So what became of the girl whose moon forgot to shine?
Whose stars were sightless, with no constellations to find.
What became of the girl whose night bled into day?
Whose light was out of reach, no sunshine on her grey.
Her flowers never bloomed, her apples began to rot.
Her sun had left her hopeful, but he seemed to have forgot,
The girl whose moon was that of beauty, the ying to his yang.
The girl with wolves below her, beasts that worshiped and sang.
So you could say that she was simply scorched by the sun and his flame,
Forever a new moon to this darkness, her fullness no man again shall claim.
Jan 2018 · 254
When The Butterflies Die
Britney Lyn Jan 2018
I think the scariest thing isn't something that lingers in the dark corners of your room, or the dark corners of your mind.
I think it's being able to see sunlight, radiance, everything, in someone else's eyes and in turn being left behind.
All the butterflies I've grown acquainted with fell to the ground to die,
The moment you decided to walk away without even saying goodbye.
Jan 2018 · 255
Lovely Toxins
Britney Lyn Jan 2018
And just like medicine you are my cure, but the more of you I take, the more determental my health becomes
I no longer medicate myself to the thought of you.
Jan 2018 · 238
The Sound of Footsteps
Britney Lyn Jan 2018
The way you made me feel is unforgettable, as is the way you walked away.
Your feet hit the pavement, my body buckled, I crumbled.
And the sky shed teardrops on that perfectly sunny day.
May a rainbow come from our parting hearts
Jan 2018 · 278
Let's Frame The Innocent
Britney Lyn Jan 2018
You never cared, you didn't dare.
I was a storm with a temper,
You, an ocean with barely a wave.
When I came in on a roar of thunder,
Your gentle surface unable to save,
You crashed and darkened, the ships all sank,
I caused you all this destruction,
But you caused me a great ache.
You truly cared, and here I dare,
To love something so peaceful when I was untamed.
That I broke the heart of an innocent girl,
Because she ruined a boy with a perfect frame.
I wrote this poem through the eyes of a girl who has framed a boy into being the bad guy when in all reality she was the one who ruined him.

I feel that this happens a lot in today's society. The boy is always blamed, the girl does nothing wrong. But that is not always the case.
In this poem a women comes into this mans life and they fall in love. She is faced with the doubt that he does not really love her, that he doesn't care for her, but he does. She does not see this until it's too late and she blames him for the death of their love. She broke her own heart by enforcing doubt and gave the man a bad reputation.

He was perfect, she could picture their future so well she could "frame" it and hang it on the wall, and she "framed" him but painting him to be someone was not.
Dec 2017 · 494
Candy Hearts
Britney Lyn Dec 2017
My heart dissolves with the impact of your words
Like cotton candy to the saliva that drips from your mouth,
With the formless promises that crash against my ribcage barrier.
I, made from sugar, forever meant to be your sweetness,
Clinging to you with a candy coated grip,
I melt against the warmth burning from within you.
Your heat has shaped me into another, your lies not meant for mine.
I wish to make you sick with wonder, sick with love.
But my sweetness was made for so much, and you my dear were never enough.
Dec 2017 · 110
Barbed Wire On My Heart
Britney Lyn Dec 2017
You were so scared of losing me you didn't realize you already had,
When the barbed wire meant to protect me started hurting me instead.
Dec 2017 · 311
I'm Not Your Damsel Anymore
Britney Lyn Dec 2017
I don't really know where to start with this. I feel like I need to write and express, how I feel.

I was forgotten, maybe even hated but I spent days trying to search for you.
I spent days loving you when you forgot to love me back.
I spent months after crying to myself at the foot of my shower.
I spent months pounding fists into my pillows, screaming words of bitter vile at those who actually cared for me.
And the hardest part was accepting you didn't.

You left and I didn't know what I did wrong but all I wanted to do was fix it! Fix me!
You somehow became my anchor to this reality without me even knowing.
We had created a world I could survive in but without you it all just fell apart.
My heart, my mind, I wasn't me.

Maybe you'd love me now because I do things I never did back them.
I smoke a joint with my friends and get drunk everyday but the weekends.
I sit in my room trying to think about something other than you but my cold heart is frozen on the subject, it refuses to beat away from it.

I no longer eat. My diet consists of a 32 glass of H2O and a hand full of pills that's supposed to make the fat go.
I'm worthy now I promise.
But somehow I'm never enough for anyone even me.
And if you could look in the mirror and see what I see you'd have taken your life long ago.
But don't.
Too many people end up hurt over the loss of someone that they don't really know.

They say I'm so happy and that I'm doing fine
But they don't even see what I don't let show!
My world is insanity and my mind won't stop thinking!
My heart just stopped beating.
Not physically, just emotionally.
I decided if I can't really die I'll just die in another way!
Let me tell you death is a funny thing.

People claim to love you and people claim to care but the whole ******* time they were completely unaware!
Of the thoughts that literally eat me alive and the loneliness I constantly feel inside, this **** ******* shell I'm left to take care of because the girl that I was is gone.

I can't handle the fact that I let myself down, I let myself drown.
Because you were my anchor and you wrapped around me as I struggled to breath.
You disappeared into the depths of my tears that created this sea, and then you were gone and I was left drowning, because you still had a hold on me.

The water froze over and I couldn't break through, I just watched everyone watching me there, acting like they couldn't see me or that they didn't really care.
And the girl you built died, I watched her sink to the bottom in an attempt to join you but you were lost where she was found,
Because in that moment she let you go, she learned to grow from all these mistakes.

She forgot what your laugh sounded like, what you looked like in the dim lighting of your room.
She forgot the words you swore by but never held to, she forgot your touch and your smile.
She forgot about you and the girl she was.
And she smiled with tears in her eyes as the old her died and the new her began to rise.

She was free,
Finally.
I wrote this awhile ago. I recently just added to it and decided that these feelings I felt were valid at one point but they are not valid anymore. I no longer feel a thing for you, and I don't know where those feelings went but they left the second you did. Now I'm happy. I'm finally free of your toxic manipulations and I can finally breathe without the pressure of your presence.

I don't need you, I don't know why I ever thought I did.
Looking at it now, I don't really know if I ever loved you at all. I was dazed and confused. But now I see things perfectly clear. And I'm happy with the man who treats me right, the actual love of my life.
Dec 2017 · 666
Nothing Bright In My Eyes
Britney Lyn Dec 2017
The sky tonight is grey, starless, and a little foggy; just like me.
Dec 2017 · 327
December Heart
Britney Lyn Dec 2017
You broke up with me on a cold winter night.
Each word hitting me like a speeding bullet, not one missed.
And I remember watching the breath leave my body,
My ice sculpture heart shattering in that stand still moment.
A song I have stuck on repeat, singing the haunting song of forever,
Into ears that never once believed another word from the boys with beautiful eyes.
The world looks like December, bitter, and always in the landscape of you.
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