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Ashwin Kumar Jun 16
I don't know what wrong have I done
To deserve so much pain
Always, have I been kind
Yet, have I lost a few friends
Suffered, have I, a rather painful divorce
My marriage was a total farce
However, not at all was I at fault
Never, did I deserve so much hurt!

I don't know what wrong have I done
To be taken for granted by a woman
Whom I loved a lot
She cared for me not one bit
Though she turned out to be an amazing actress
Who pretended to be in great distress
And milked me for all was I worth
Really, was she the worst!!

I don't know what wrong have I done
To be so rudely cut off by a woman
Who always called me her best friend
Never did I think our long relationship would end
In such a brutal manner
Especially considering was I always good to her
How dare she take advantage of my autism
***** her and her Brahminical egoism!!

I don't know what wrong have I done
To be rejected by almost everyone
On a variety of dating apps
Sometimes I feel I am being treated like a corpse
What qualities do I lack?
Why do some people only look at my mistakes
And not the good things have I done?
Seriously, with India, am I done!!

I don't know what wrong have I done
But I am not going to be taken for granted again
***** all of you, thanks to whom I have suffered
There may be a time when YOU suffer
I will laugh at you then
Truly, never again, am I going to be taken for a ride
Because Jesus is on my side
Amen!!
Rant on my sufferings in life.
Karijinbba Jun 12
Dear poet on HP, G..C; Are you familiar with Dukeoftx?  
SMc. Hu? Do you know them it's imperative
I know please.

I am just a time traveler like the love of my life...but only he or his significant other, his brother her grown daughters, son, parents might know about reading old love letters, written for me alone, not for his significant other" finding them
 distant and faint memories!,
our perils became.
As for being trapped by disillusionment
with misleading comments it
isn't happening with me.
I am, and have been open minded.

I know when comments
aren't from the love my life
himself,
writing back
but from others
who wish to inflict further
isolation
Condemnation.
I don't dwell on such
cheap shady manners.

I am so used to this kind of cruel retoric insinuations to make me feel inadequate and late a nothing, as if I remain in the midst of such shallow concerns.
I know who loved me; how when, where he loved me.

Money wealth given earned or bought to those by his side is not happiness. Neither is deceiving an old sweet Caroline like me who remains lovely loving someone behind their masks visiting Hp.

My beloved will always be the love of my life, and deep down I his very own, sacred imaginary friend companion.

Bittersweet as Rhett Butler, to Scarlet told.
It's my misfortune, as in Gone W The Wind

but knowing I was loved truly, wished well near or far to me, this is very healing
~~~~~
If on the other plane it is the love of my life commenting
saying I am but
faint so and so,
like I too say it's my misfortune. I rather die feeling once upon a time loved then never loved. Until someone loved me I became somebody.
~~~
Come to me anytime
Beautiful love divine in spirit and in form young old sick healthy, poor rich.
I forever love you
I pledge my love to yourdd.
~~~~
BY:Karijinbba
All Rights.
https://youtu.be/YwJqnh8qBCI?feature=shared
Ashwin Kumar Nov 2023
There was a time
When I couldn't give a dime
As far as destiny was concerned
How the stars were aligned
It mattered to me not
Even if I suffered a lot

However, as we all know
Times change
We've gotta go with the flow
Facing crisis after crisis
Decided I, to turn to Jesus
Thus, with every passing day
Come what may
More and more did I begin to believe
In the power of Fate
And the miracles it could bring
As we all would be knowing
It's never too late

Yes, believe do I, in destiny
Because, of great importance, is faith
However, it means not
That we do naught
And simply pray to the Lord
Never will inaction beget a reward
Instead, does it mean
That, always should we do our best
And let God take care of the rest
Pardon me for the oft-repeated cliche
But, difficult is it, to carve a niche
Especially when you don't get a chance
To select a topic of your choice

Destiny can favour us
Or can it ruin us
Remember the old but extremely valuable cliche
"There is no gain without pain"
Were we to fight a war
Prepared, must we be, to be slain
Or can we go far
And achieve a glorious victory
Thus, leaving our mark on history
Depends, does it all, on destiny

Take me, for example
I had to go through the ordeal of divorce
It is but completely natural
To believe that destiny favoured me not
Yes, I did have to go through a lot
However, the reality is
Destiny DID favour me
Because, saved was I
From total disaster
And closer did I get
To my sister and father
Not to mention, free am I
To live my life on my own terms

Equally true, is the opposite
It may seem
That, from destiny we benefit
However, turns out instead, destiny is a cheat
For instance, look at the Indian Men's Cricket team
In the recently concluded World Cup
Winning ten matches on the trot
One would have thought
That, destined were we
To lift the trophy
Alas, it was not to be
Lulled were we, into a false sense of security
By all the early *******
And believed, did we
That, on our side, was destiny
However, when it mattered the most
Destiny made sure we lost

Yes, destiny does matter
But your mind shouldn't shatter
Were it to turn against you
Because, it is ultimately YOU
Who are in charge of your life
Even were you to have the best husband or wife!!
Yes, extremely frustrating is it
When things are not in your control
And on your mental health
May it take a toll
However, faith is powerful
Were you to surrender yourself to Jesus
He would make your life wonderful
Of course, certain sacrifices have to be made
But never let your personality fade
And always do your best
Free are you, to turn your back on destiny
As long as you live happily
Yes, destiny does indeed matter
But how much does it matter
Is entirely up to YOU
Poem on what destiny means to me
Jeremy Betts May 2022
(too long version)

Life indeed pushed me to the edge of the cliffs end but the jump was my decision, no one there could ever be bothered to care enough to even explore the simplest question much less begin thinkin' about askin' what I was thinkin' when I settled on the option I ultimately, on more than one occasion, failed at miserably while attemptin', like the byproduct of rabbits ******' my faults are multiplyin' as my spark goes dark at the same time my shine went dim, not worth restorin' this vessel that sits as decoration in a white trash front lawn deterioratin', startin' from the back end then devourin' the engine

One step forward, two giant leaps back pedalin', that was the general motion of regression, lookin' like I'm plagiarizin' Michael Jackson when he's on stage performin', masterin' that classic moon walkin' he's known for doin', never as smooth as him but you get the picture I'm paintin', losing track of my destination as it began droppin' out of sight behind the horizon, followin' the trail the sun was blazin'

Can't see the forest for the trees and vegetation, could have heard the pre-lumber fallin' if you would only humor me and at least pretend to listen, but that there is somethin' you have zero interest in which is interestin' cause if the past has taught me anythin' about what you find pleasure in it's that you're lovin', above everythin', the chance to keep pointin' out and highlightin' how I'm a terrible human bein', a garbage person but not a man and no CDL license, I'm not pickin' up the trash I'm metaphorically dwellin' in only then to have it pile back up again times ten, ultimately creatin' my own land fill location within, wilfully lettin' recycled misfortune to continue hittin' me on the chin, it's due to inadequate trainin', not for the lack of tryin' to defend

No direction just a lie practiced to perfection too keep 'em from noticin' my state of depression, leave 'em guessin'. But to keep the honesty rollin' in I have a confession, I'd loan you the money to pay attention but you'd never take that good for nothin' offerin' and I ain't even placin' blame, just sayin', I know my position, I'm fully aware I'm on the losin' end of this game of tug-a-war life and I are playin', though I think it's cheatin', countin' cards to ensure a win, gamblin' that I'll give in and fold before noticin' I'm the mark bein' taken, the journey of life is a rigged expedition

What am I doin' besides losin'? Why am I here became the daily question, how do I get out this mess of confusion that's drownin' me to the point of extinction? It's an impossible equation even for a mathematician with years of education, so you know for certain I'm lyin' when, for no good reason, I have a go at answerin'. The slipknot is workin' just as I was expectin', slippin', goin' taunt, slidin' into its final position

I should mention, if you're thinkin' this has taken place solely for attention you're sorely mistaken, you never come to that realization, dodgin' conversation in an attempt to avoid confrontation, leavin' me noticin' there's no one standin' by and extendin' a hand to help and lookin' back there's never been. No one attendin' my lonely execution by decapitation in an effort to stop the spreadin' of harmful misfortune I feed myself, bad for my mental health, a deadly addiction that's become somewhat of a tradition through repetition, turnin' a weapon on myself, worsenin' my condition, that's a fact based observation not an opinion

No resolution in the hard hitting revelation that there's no salvation for someone who's gone and done what I've done and gone on livin' in a web of fear that I first spun for protection but couldn't stop the infestation from gainin' the traction it was needin' for the completion of my complete elimination

Cravin' anythin' real to place my faith in, I'm bein' told the hate and pain I'm bathin' in is of my own creation, I can see the connection as I sit broken down in the intersection of real life and fiction, I've lost control again and once again there's no mulligan. Am I seein' the glass half full or half empty or maybe it's all an illusion regardless of perception? Lost my vision, can't see through the pollution and corruption runnin' rampant with no solution comin', I'm a simpleton so this ***** gettin' confusin', a complete brain malfunction

I've awoken the beast within and just as I was predictin' we instantly began battlin' to the death, fightin' for position and a quicker end to the situation I'm always findin' myself in then findin' out for myself that it's always been my own reflection startin' back in my direction, the ugly inside is finally outwardly projectin', can't even pretend to be my own friend, enough is enough, I'm saying when

Its lurkin' just under the skin, waitin' for the moment to strike and beat me down to nothin'. When will it end? Never I'm guessin'. I'm gonna have to try to put an end to it all myself again, tirin' of the repetition to the point I usually take no action, sometimes due to exhaustion but still just lettin' it all happen like that's what I was plannin' from the beginnin' but that makes about as much sense as quittin' ****** right after the needles insertion or waitin' till after overdosin'

Frustration givin' way to aggravation and aggression leavin' little satisfaction even if I could squeak out a win, but I'm no longer wastin' time waitin' for that to happen so I'll probably most likely be caught sleepin', dreamin' about what could've been had I listened to my gut feelin' and put in the same amount of stock I place in what my treasonous mind and heart are always sayin'
and not let doubt creep in and claim top billin' as it's permanent position, knocking out compassion and reason, replacin' both with the hate and weight of a nation

It's a fools mission, I WILL be beaten' into submission, the last thing I'll hear as my energy gives up on existin' is the mortician statin' then time stampin' my expiration, that and the body bag zippin', family left pickin' out a coffin from the bargain bin, not worth payin' a fortune, only payin' little respect to the fallen then quickly forgotten at the drop of a pin

You're sayin' I have a purpose but I'm witnessin' me wastin' every minute of the earths rotation and never reachin' the conclusion that I was slackin', far to laxed in the preparation for a home invasion of this mental prison I'm caged in where I'm servin' a life sentence and I'm mentally and emotionally starvin' while my vision of any kind of future begins to darken

No open invitation, but that's not stoppin' my personal demon from just walkin' right in and startin' the killin' spree up once again, focusin' first on positive motivation just for existin', of course that's just my imagination, but could you imagine? A horrible vision to the average pedestrian, I know, but I still crack a grin at the thought of it happenin', the devil on my shoulder is at it again

My light fractured through a prism and some went missin' and I never got around to lookin' so no chance of gettin' it back into my possession, there's no raignin' it in, goin' from a fools errand to a search and rescue mission seemingly overnight but for what reason, just to teach me a lesson? I don't test well, I won't make it to graduation

Choices made out of desperation got me lookin' and feelin' like a felon, to survive I had to become the villain of the biography I'm narratin', this isn't livin', at best it's just barely holdin' on for dear life and weakenin', a measly attempt at survivin', forced into an intimate relation with the unforgivable, each of the sinful deadly seven

The line not to cross was paper thin, walked it like a drunk person in front of a couple corrupt police men, heathens but feelin' better than, lost control long ago, before I fell off the wagon, I ain't talkin' about drinkin', it started way back when with prescription medication, ones that were suppose to be helpin' but then used for wreckreation and that's when it began draggin' me down to an underground parkin' garage elevation

I didn't have a break down, like I said, it was a break in home invasion with the assumption there was somethin' worth takin' to begin with but everythin' inside is broken and you can see the corrosion of the foundation built on sand, makin' this temple worth nothin', even self worth is fadin'

Graspin' at the air and yet again findin' nothin', grapplin' with the notion I'm nothin', prayin' my emergency flotation device will suffice cause the water is ragin', feelin' the undertow currant strengthen in it's concentration, I think it's attackin' and there's no escapin' so I began blinkin' SOS in old fashion morse code hopin' you don't need help with the translation, if that's the case then I'm done for, why bother debatin', I'll take myself out of the equation, preparin' my soul for the comin' evacuation

You begin lyin' just to raise my spirits but I ain't buyin' into what you're sellin', counterfeit concern bein' spoken with no emotion or conviction, after the extensive evaluation I see it's no garden of Eden I'm livin' in, again, someone's been lyin', I'd be wakin' right into the den of a rabid lion shrouded in original sin, I ate the fruit knowin' full well it was forbidden, straight up poison but zero ***** were given, so this was bound to happen, the writin' was on the wall, who am I kiddin'?

You have my permission to begin the process so let's just go ahead then and get this over with so I can silence the voices within, I've eliminated every complication, layin' on the tracks at the crazy train boarding station, awaitin' the unavoidable, provin' I was correct in the assumption that this is the right time to initiate my endin', a personal Armageddon...oh, well hello, you must be that Satan guy I've been hearin' so much about from everyone preachin' directly in my ear then going out the other, it's still hard not to listen, I'm just tyin' up a loose end or two then I'm yours for the takin'

...alright, thanks for waitin', now then, let the journey to my endin' begin shall we? I'm takin' the lead on this one cause I know where we're goin' and I'm no good at followin' direction...obviously, it goes without sayin'

©2022
leeaaun Oct 2023
In the kitchen of fate, where recipes align,
There's a daughter of misfortune, a tale so intertwined.
Her father, luck's favored, with fortune at his side,
But she's taken her mother's grace as her guide.

Her mother, a tempest in life's stormy sea,
Taught her strength in adversity, resilience to be.
Though luck eluded her, in her eyes, you'd find,
A sparkle of hope, a spirit unconfined.

In the cauldron of challenges, the daughter found her way,
With a pinch of her mother's spirit, she'd never sway.
She stirred in compassion, a generous measure,
Adding empathy and kindness, her greatest treasure.

From her father, she borrowed a dash of good fortune,
But she knew in her heart, it wouldn't be her cartoon.
She'd blend it with care, mix it with her might,
For her mother's tenacity, she'd always fight.

In the oven of life, she baked her own path,
With ingredients gathered from love's aftermath.
A pinch of her father's luck, a dash of her mother's grace,
She crafted her essence, her unique embrace.

And as she emerged, a creation divine,
A daughter of misfortune, in her, stars brightly shine.
She carried her legacy, a blend so pure,
A recipe of resilience, forever endure.
recipe of daughter of misfortune whose father was pure luck
leeaaun Dec 2022
my tears formed an ocean
caused by your misfortune
but you could just see
the rain dripping
on her face
what was i too you?
Karijinbba Oct 2020
Dearest everything:
I don't want you to leave empty-handed please take it all
every treasure known
and unknown, every loot
you are familiar with
upon that hill.
It's all yours I will only be harmed
take even my beloved precious children
I won't miss them or worry about them if you have them
to love them
as your very own!
They know no other father than you.
Those three children you lost,
I have them against all odds.

I trust only you after God
only you after any other human
on Mother Earth
after poverty joy and happiness,
after caos after
every terrible disaster.
You got heart brains charm grace heart understanding
you are a King of kings
God sent by heavens bridge
I love you so much.
I always have, always will;
before and after every treasure
every blessing is you.
~~~~~~~
By,:Karijinbba
All copy rights apply.
Oct--2020.
words left unsaid are more than just any bittersweet regret.
They are knives wounds that never stop bleeding
daphne Jan 2021
death is quite the beauty, is she not?
in choked desolation, we yearn her
a lovely coquette to our misery
until she closes in to the innocent
and becomes an object of our scorn

so, we boycott her dreadful existence
cursing when she calls out our name
for life who we cherish so fondly
but for death we do not do the same
letting her drown in a reservoir of loathe

if death was ever personified
she would live her life a social pariah
as the world tries to nullify her worth
tainting her dignity with pure disdain
in such dolour, even she yearns herself
annh Nov 2021
Virgo in the ascendant,
Saturn in decline,
A retrograding antidote,
A calculated rhyme;

Overtones of melancholy,
Undertones of mirth,
A surfeit of misfortune,
Of musery a dearth

Faithless Fortune taps her foot,
While plotting my demise,
A rhythm most unruly,
A metaphor unwise;

In minutes and in seconds,
She wreaks havoc on my pen,
A glib faux pas, no coup de grâce...
And so I start again.

§

My zodiacal tendencies,
Triumphant in their prime,
Fade to skepticism
As life spins on a dime.

Writing in the ‘off’ season.

‘I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.’
- Arthur C. Clarke
THE POWER OF THE MIND

To
be a
winner you
must first
believe that
you're a
winner. It's
the power
of the
mind that
controls
and make
whatever the
brain
thinks
happened. Life
begins from
within the
mind.
For
there's
nothang one
can do
without
the consents  
of the
mind. The
Power Of
the mind
could
control the
roll of a
dice.
The Power
of a
positive
mind changes misfortune.
Determination
and enthusiasm
are the
openings to
the
entrance of
greatness through
optimism.
Confidence
makes the
stairs smooth. Self-reliant
with focus,
Leads to the
quickest pathway
to massive accomplishment.
#c9_fm
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