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202 · May 2020
Grey
Ruheen May 2020
I put up pictures on my wall...
Black and white
Just like this
Life
But then I
Realized
That none of them
Were
Black and
White
Or the lonely
Type
Just
Shades of grey
Side by side
And then I
Realized
That even I
Look
Better
In
Grey.
Grey? Gray?
Honestly, I gave up on caring about the difference. It's a word. A colour between black and white. That's all I need to know.
201 · Aug 2018
Fear
Ruheen Aug 2018
Trust cannot exist
If secrets do.
Yet, I put up these walls
That no one sees through.

It is nothing, but a fear
A fear of letting someone in.
So, I let my thoughts become whispers
And I keep my feelings hidden.

I conceal way more than I show.
I don't let them see me cry.
I'm scared that I'll lose them.
No matter how much I try.

It's a fear of trust.
A fear of loss.
199 · Jul 2019
The Other Side
Ruheen Jul 2019
A rope has two ends, a story has two sides.
But we only see one.
The moon has two sides,
There are two types of right.
And two types of wrong.

But we only see one because it is the only one we can see. The only one we want to see.
Ruheen Jan 2020
They
Say too much
But do
Even less.
It's enough
Though.
To make
Me hate
Whatever
They do
But I know,
They hate
Whatever
They do
Too.
They
Mean everything
And everything
And more.
But they
Mean nothing
To me,
Even less
Than before.
Because they
Are sinking
In my eyes
They are drowning
Me
In a pool
As shallow
As their souls.
They.
Them.
Everyone else.
But me.
As well as a few other select people.
It's not really everyone else. Just mostly the people around me.
I honestly don't know. It's late. I'm tired.
Goodnight.
198 · Jan 2019
Cold and Empty
Ruheen Jan 2019
I used to be warm and bubbly

It was effortless

It's so much harder to be

Cold and empty

It takes so much time

So much effort

Yet I can't be anything else

Because cold and empty

Is what I am

And you can't change who you are
You can't. You are who you are. And I for one, hate change, though, I know I can't escape it.
197 · Jul 2019
Questions Left Unanswered
Ruheen Jul 2019
Why can't you hear me?
I used to wonder if you could.
Why are we speaking?
I used to wonder if your words were stories.
Why are we climbing?
I used to wonder if the world could fall.
Why did you say we were the story?
I used to wonder who was reading.
Why did you tell me we were dreaming?
I used to wonder if I believed you.

And I do.
So tell me this.
How do I wake up?
If I'm dreaming, wide awake?
Someone, seriously. Give me an answer. To any of these.
196 · Feb 2019
Silent Waters
Ruheen Feb 2019
Silent waters
But crashing waves
Trying to be stronger
For I have too much to save

Treading the water
Lightly
I'm going under
I can't breathe

Don't know how to live
Too much to take
Too much to give
I'm just afraid

I'm falling down
I can't hold on any longer
Watch me drown
In the silent waters
...
196 · Apr 2020
so tired
Ruheen Apr 2020
I've been so tired lately, so
please have mercy on me
I'm so tired of waiting
for something to happen
to me
or near me
just something
so I can
wake up again
and say all the bad things
I say to myself
it's the only way
I can feel
I've been so tired lately, so
I'm too tired to hate me.
Losing my mind over here. But the one thing that made me smile was my poem Underrated. It got selected!
Still going crazy, though.
I was going to post this a few days ago. Guess I forgot.
195 · Apr 2020
Gone With The Wind
Ruheen Apr 2020
Gone with the wind.
My memories,
My feelings,
My heartache,
The headache,
Replaced,
With laughter,
Excitement.
No room for
Silence.
The confining
Spaces
That I
Always hated.
The sharpened
Anxiety
That left me
In ecstasy.
When I spoke
With sobriety,
The society
That watched me,
Left me in pieces,
For reasons
They will never
Explain.
It's changed.
How much?
How long?
Will it go back?
It never lasts,
Because the wind always comes back,
With more to give.
More than I asked.
And the wind will always return,
And it will bring
Back all the chains I earned.

Gone with the wind.

I'm trapped in the wind.
Because the wind will never stay gone.
A momentary burst of inspiration. I don't know.
195 · Aug 2019
Hair
Ruheen Aug 2019
Smooth, so you slide down
Until you reach the middle

It's all tangled up
And you're not so little

You brush it away
And don't look back

You slide down further
Until you reach the end

And find that everything's
All knotted up again
I love my hair, but I hate it.
192 · Sep 2019
Versus
Ruheen Sep 2019
Ghoulish screams
Ghouls in dreams
Touching words
Touch that hurts
Shredded heart
Shredding part
You break
I break

Red oceans
Death omens
Darkened skies
Dark inside
Sharp blades
Short days
You don't
I don't

Dreaded lies
Dreadful eyes
Haunted smiles
Haunting cries
No place like
No one kind
You die
I might
One versus another.
192 · Aug 2018
Because I'm Human
Ruheen Aug 2018
Even after everything you've done.
I'm still ready to forgive you.
Still ready to help you.
Why?
Because I'm human.
Forgive others. Not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace. - Unknown.
Ruheen Nov 2020
I don't feel like myself
I feel like yelling
I feel like crying
And I don't feel like writing
But here I am
.
.
.
Because it's supposed to help
They said it helps
...
190 · Apr 2020
A Story to Tell
Ruheen Apr 2020
~

The bad parts of an experience are what make the best stories.
No one wants to hear you say 'I had a nice time. It was great.' And so on.
They don't want to hear the same thing over and over again.
They want a story no one else can tell them.
If all you experience is good things, you won't have a story to tell.


~
My teacher said this to me once. I agree.
Also, this is a kind of explanation for Underrated. It's why I think demons have a story to tell; why they're more interesting.
188 · Mar 2020
Will of God
Ruheen Mar 2020
Even the prettiest of flowers have to die.
It is, after all, the will of God.
Nature can try its hardest, but God seems adamant.
Nature will meet death.
It will die slowly,
Which seems the most painful.
Unfair, isn't it?
...If COVID-19 takes out the entire human population....then God only has Nature left. He'll get bored. :)
187 · Feb 2019
A Longer Night
Ruheen Feb 2019
I feel like writing, but I don't know what to write.
Sorry.
I guess I don't have much to tell.
It's been a long day,
And I think,
I'm about to have an even longer night.
Can't sleep. Too much work. Too much stress. Too much worrying. I have a lot to do.
23/02/19
187 · Feb 2020
To Find Me
Ruheen Feb 2020
To find me
I'm supposed to change
Myself
But I don't know why
I have to change
Or what I'm supposed to
Change into.

To find me
I have to start
Searching
For something
But I don't know
What I'm even
Looking for.

To find me
I need to
Understand
Who I am
And who I can be
Or who I
Will be.

I'll think about it more.
Tomorrow.
I'm too tired.
Today.
I'm sick, tired and sad, right now.
So tomorrow.
186 · Sep 2018
I Can't
Ruheen Sep 2018
I can't think
I don't what to think

I can't speak
I don't know what to say

I can't write
I don't know the words

I can't listen
I don't know what to hear

I can't be normal
I don't know how
186 · Jul 2018
It Doesn't Hurt
Ruheen Jul 2018
He winces from the pain
She bleeds from her bruises
While they watch and laugh

It hurts to move

He wants to slit his wrists
She cries herself to sleep
And they have no regrets

It hurts to blink

He vows to fight them
She promises to stand up
But they hit back harder

It hurts to breathe

When he finally cracks
When she finally screams
They all begin to cower

It doesn't hurt anymore
When you have had enough of their torment and can't take it anymore.....don't lash out in anger or show them you're upset. Instead, be nice. They'll walk away...confused.

Don't be scared because you are never alone. Just show them that you don't care.
186 · Mar 2020
Nothing At All
Ruheen Mar 2020
An average king
A young boy
Stare in the mirror
Like cracked toys

Think about
Their next days
Their demise
Their fates

One remembering
One wishing
Both waiting
For nothing

He grew up
Wished to be strong
He grows old
Wished to be young

He sees it coming
But he doesn't prepare
Why be ready
For an average death

One remembering
One wishing
Both waiting
For nothing

Nothing at all.
Dying only feels like falling asleep, when you die in your sleep. You can't prepare for that.
184 · Feb 2019
Introvert
Ruheen Feb 2019
Simply put; I hate people.

The more complicated version; I hate being around people. Hate hearing them talk and laugh. Hate watching them be happy. Only because I don't want them to see me cry.
...
182 · Jan 2020
Comes and Goes
Ruheen Jan 2020
Everything just comes and goes
Like lightning
But I can still hear the sounds
Like thunder

Everything just comes and goes
Like a butterfly
But I can still hear the sounds
Of its wings

Everything just comes and goes
Like a headache
But I can still hear the sound
Of the hammer in my head

I'm not crazy. Yet.
I'm not.
181 · Jun 2020
High Note
Ruheen Jun 2020
Why can't I hit the
High notes
Side note
Let me make you
My own
Rainbows
Low notes
Tell me something I don't
Know
Who goes
Your gold
My go
Give me silver
And no more
Let me take you to the
High road
Say no
Why can't I hit the
High note
Solo
So please don't
Let me go down under.
...
181 · Jun 2019
Life - The Movies
Ruheen Jun 2019
Life is like a movie.
You have the opening credits,
Which usually make you smile.
Then comes the characters.
The funny one.
The smart one.
The weird one.
Next comes the story.
Tumbling out with all its problems.
But there comes a time
When you have to pause.
Just to take a break
Because things became too much.
Your problems are overwhelming.
Other people's are too.
And for some reason,
You always seem to care.
You'll have to play again.
But you want a reminder
Of what happened before.
You want a moment to reminisce.
So, you press rewind.
You get lost in the memories,
Sometimes wishing
You could change things.
Erase your mistakes,
Even though you know you can't.
The past is the past.
All you can do is move forward.
You press play
And your life continues.
You don't know what's coming,
And you can't fast forward.
It's live.
You'll just have to wait and see,
As the rest of the story unfurls itself.
Watch the twists and turns,
A few bumps here and there,
And most importantly,
How all the characters overcome
Every single challenge.
But like every movie,
This one called Life,
Comes to an end too.
You've recorded everything.
So you can pause, play, rewind, or forward,
Anytime you want.
But first, you have to watch the end credits.
As the song of their life plays
Softly in the background.
And as they thank everyone for everything.
Soon, the movie will be buried,
Under a pile of dust,
In an old attic somewhere.
Just like their coffin,
Buried six feet underground,
In an old graveyard somewhere.
Their story is over.
The movie has ended.
You cried a little,
Laughed a little.
Maybe you even got angry,
Because it ended too soon.
However,
New movies are made.
New lives begin.
More memories to deal with,
We start all over again.
Fresh tears, laughter and anger.
More pain, problems and characters.
A new story.
Part of the same series, though;
Life - The Movies.
Wow. This is long.
:)
181 · Jan 2020
Facade
Ruheen Jan 2020
To instil fear into others, as a way to make them show you respect,
Is being afraid you will not be respected for who or what you really are.
Second poem of 2020. Already hating every second.
So yeah.
181 · Jan 2019
Ignorance
Ruheen Jan 2019
They say ignorance is bliss.
But what about when you're the one being ignored?
For that,
They should say ignorance is misery,
Instead.
.
181 · May 2019
The Lone Tree
Ruheen May 2019
~

I just wanted silence.
Is that so hard to hear?

They misunderstood.
I didn't want them to disappear.


Are you so lost,
In your decadent flowers,
That you can't see a thing
Going on around us?


I can't fix things.
Things that aren't broken.
I wish I was drunk on rain,
I like it better than oxygen.


Are your roots so small,
That you can't even gather,
What little that's left
Of all of the water?


A drunk man's words
Are sober thoughts.
But a drunk tree's words
Say more than a lot.


You hide behind your leaves,
And those twisted vines.
Trying to look pretty.
Yelling that you're fine.


I've got terms and conditions.
Ones not so hard to follow.
Just be a lot quieter,
In your misery, you shall wallow.


But you need water.
You need care.
Otherwise, you won't grow
And you'll die right there.


You can share my apples,
But know this,
I may grow apples,
But I like oranges.


~
Two sides. One story.
Two thoughts. One head.
179 · Mar 2019
Hyperventilating
Ruheen Mar 2019
Hyperventilating
My hands are shaking
Rapid breathing
My body's seizing

Shallow breaths
Not cold, but I'm trembling
I can't stop
I keep worrying

Hyperventilating
My heart's racing
Throat constricting
My eyes are watering

Anxiety
Exhaling, not inhaling
My fears
Keeping it in, I'm hiding

Hyperventilating
I feel like I'm falling
I can't help but feeling
Like my world is crumbling
Eh.
179 · Oct 2019
Persuasion
Ruheen Oct 2019
An ache
in your chest
Like losing a
limb
When
they find
What they find
Your hands
fall to your side
Your legs give out
under you
You close your
eyes
Trying to erase
all you've seen
Don't want 'em
to know what
you've seen
In a moment of weakness,
you let 'em check
under your hood
In a moment of weakness,
you plead with
your eyes
For mercy
You said too much
Now you better
hurry
Think before
you do
And if you
do it
Don't really
do it
Fix your
slip up
Don't let it
slip up
Stoic, blank
Keep it straight
Say all the
right things
Hope and pray
They can't see
right through
Right through you
And what you
know you do
The other way
Dissuade
But
Keep it simple
No complications
It's simple
Easy
Just a little persuasion.
Something happened to HP or maybe my laptop, but I couldn't post anything. Nothing would save and so I lost some of my work.

Anyway, when you want someone to believe anything but the truth.
Not really lying, just a little persuasion.
179 · Apr 2020
Thank You
Ruheen Apr 2020
Thank you for giving me nothing
'Cause if you had given me everything
I would have to
Give you
Everything back
And we both know
I'm too lazy for that.

Thank you for leaving
'Cause if you had stayed
I would have to
Stay too
And we both know
I'm too restless for that.

Thank you for hating me
'Cause if you had loved me
I would have to
Love you
Back
And we both know
I'm too selfish for that.

Thank you for giving up
When you had the chance
'Cause if you had tried
I would have
Never realized
How crazy I am.
Yeah, I'm gone.
I don't think this is about a person. I mean, there isn't anyone that I would want to say this too. So I don't think it's about a person.
I don't know. Maybe it is. Maybe I just haven't realized it yet.
I don't know.
178 · Jun 2020
Humans
Ruheen Jun 2020
Let me clear something up:
ALL HUMANS ARE PSYCHOS.

And you can't tell me otherwise
Because we are.
We weren't born this way,
We were made.

And yeah you may not act like it,
But let me tell a secret...
You've got it in you.

We all do.
We can all be bad.

We weren't born good or bad.
When we were born,
We were like clay.
Mouldable.

We were taught the differences between good and bad.

We were taught to be good.

But do we really know the difference?

Say a kind person is called 'good'.
That same person can hate someone.
That person can be bad.

Because being a bad person isn't just killing someone,
Or stealing, doing drugs.

A bad person has dark thoughts.

And you can't tell me you have never had such a thought before.

Because I know you have.

Therefore, all humans are technically bad.

We just don't consider ourselves to be
Because our definition of good and bad,
Isn't ours.

It's someone else's.

Our definitions are based on what we see around us.

People may be innocent...
But that doesn't mean that they're not bad.
They just haven't done anything...
Criminal.

Yet.
Am I standing up for people who do all of these horrible things? No. I'm really not. I'm not saying that doing bad things is okay.
I'm just saying that bad things will keep happening because that's what people are like.
As long as humans exist, this world will never truly be peaceful. Something will always be happening.
Then again. It's my opinion. It's how I see the world and the people in it.
If you see it differently, good for you.
But don't try and change my opinion.
I'll change it myself when I want to. When I see something that's worth me changing what I believe.
177 · Dec 2020
That Night
Ruheen Dec 2020
He died that day.
That man.
I may have gone there to **** him,
And I may have wanted him to die,
But he died
Because he fell upon my sword.
Willingly.
He died.
But I wished he hadn't.
I wanted him to live a little longer
So he could see me burn down his kingdom
And all the people in it.
And then
I would have killed him.
That night.
177 · Apr 2020
Ugh
Ruheen Apr 2020
Ugh
I think I'm good at it,
And I am for a while,
But then I see a problem
And I just can't figure it out.
I don't know what to do.
So then I realize maybe
I'm not that good at it.
I'm not that smart maybe.
And then I wonder
Is it just me?
It is everyone?
Or am I just stupid?
Because I used to be good at it.
It used to be easy,
But now, I never know what to do.
It's so hard.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I hate Math.
Did I get you? I was talking about Math the entire time. :)
176 · Jan 2019
Random
Ruheen Jan 2019
~
ZDGREFSTJHNOUYLOPMNBQWA
~
A bunch of random letters.
Ones you can't understand.

~
FEAR<LOVE<ANGER<SADNESS<FRUSTRATION
~
A bunch of random feelings.
Ones I can't understand.

Do you see a difference?
I don't.
All I see is a bunch of random,
No one understands.
...
175 · Jul 2020
Talk
Ruheen Jul 2020
People don't know
Anything.
People won't know
Unless
We
Talk.
And that is why
No one knows
Anything.
Because
No
One
Will
Talk.
If people say they know us as well as they think they do, or as well as they should, they should know me by now.
I know them. They don't talk, but I still know.
So, why this unfairness? Towards me?
Why do I try so hard?
When they don't try at all?
I'm not going to change; it's who I am.
But I can vent. :)
174 · Apr 2019
The Right To Be Human
Ruheen Apr 2019
What is the point of human rights if we don't acknowledge the fact that people have them?
As soon as you're born, you have them. Simply because you're human.
But acting human is a whole different thing.
Humans aren't machines.
We shouldn't be controlled.
People cannot tell us whether we deserve those rights or not, even if we don't.
In the end, we still have them.
But what's the point if we're not respected for having them?
Maybe it depends on an individual person.
We may think that someone doesn't deserve any rights, but they think that they do.
They may think that we don't deserve them, but we think that we do.
But when you think about it, our 'worth' is what decides if we 'deserve' to have rights or not.
It's almost like an unspoken rule;
Popularity triumphs all.
And though there are exceptions, that 'rule' still exists.
Popularity, money, fame.
Things that can vanish within a matter of time.
Our lives?
Not the same.
We all have the right to be human.
We can't choose not to be human,
But we can choose to be a good or bad one.
People violate human rights day-to-day, right in front of us.
And we just sit and watch.
We're bystanders.
And, honestly?
That's worse than being the violator.
Inspired by something I read.
There are 30 articles. 30 rights. We all have them. And they cannot be taken away.
Bullying, discrimination, false accusations. All of these violate at least 3 or 4 articles. And this happens every single day.
Human Rights is probably the most ironic things humans have ever created.
What's the point? Seriously?! I mean, why create something that isn't even going to be acknowledged?!
More people know about osmosis that they do about human rights, something that they've had since the day they were born. (Probably an exaggeration, but you get what I mean!)
I'm pretty sure the United Nations isn't happy with how things have turned out.

*lets out a long breath*
*sighs*
*smiles sheepishly*

Anyway, sorry for the long rant. Enjoy?
173 · Aug 2019
Strong Again
Ruheen Aug 2019
You will stand tall
And when you fall
You will fall with grace
Even if you can't stand up again

You will rise up
And when you sink
You will sink with peace
Even if you can't rise up again

You will fight back
And when you lose
You will lose with a smile
Even if you can't fight back again

You will be strong again.
Simple.
172 · Apr 2019
What It's Like
Ruheen Apr 2019
You were right when you said
I don't know what it's like to be you
But take a look in my head
You have no idea what it's like to be me.
You might, they don't.
171 · Mar 1
anniversary
Ruheen Mar 1
I'm trying too hard again
failed as a daughter, a friend
hard to exist without faith
so I resist all the shame I can reach

because nobody's watching
nobody can hear me speak
seven years and counting
still I crave something sweet

I don't mind
I learned to cry

swimming in fears once caged
corners of my soul unmade
and the light from the door
as I fell to the floor, guided me

because somebody's watching
somebody has to be
seven years and counting
I need someone to hear

I don't mind
just let me cry
171 · Jan 2020
Cause & Effect
Ruheen Jan 2020
Water sticks to the sides.
A little push
And it falls.

Letters that go out at night.
A little slip
And it's gone.

Ropes that fray at the ends.
A little pull
And nothing.

Pencils that are too sharp.
A little pressure
And it breaks.

People that are close to the edge.
A little shove
And they disappear.
Makes sense. I think.
170 · May 2019
Red
Ruheen May 2019
Red
Red is anger
Red is blood
Red is pain
But red is love
Red is war
Red is a rose
Red is fear
But red is hope

In the darkness, there is no light.
Only pain and misery, war and strife.
But love overcomes all, it fights.
The opposite of darkness is love, that is your light.

To find love in the dark,
Find the red in the black.
Yeah. So....? Yeah.
170 · Aug 2018
(Over)Thinking
Ruheen Aug 2018
I wish I could say
Whatever I wanted to.
So I could tell people
What I was going through.
I wish I could hit send
Without hitting delete
Over and over again,
But it never feels complete.
I wish I wouldn't think
I would just rhyme.
Then I wouldn't have to write the same words
A hundred times.
I just need to press enter sometimes.
169 · Jul 2019
Roanoke
Ruheen Jul 2019
Run or die.
That's the only way to disappear.
The Lost Colony of Roanoke.
Ever heard of it?
169 · Dec 2018
Heartbreak
Ruheen Dec 2018
Love is a blissful thing.
But when heartbreak comes around,
It becomes the most painful.

Although, sometimes, maybe the pain's worth it.
Just something I said to someone. Sounded poetic.
167 · Sep 2019
Shooting Star
Ruheen Sep 2019
Different universe
Same galaxy

Different galaxy
Same star

Different star
Same planet

Different planet
Same meteor

Different meteor
But you still wish upon it
Ok..... :)
167 · Apr 2019
Forgive, Never Forget
Ruheen Apr 2019


It's easy to forgive,
So much harder to forget.


Just a thought.
Someone asked me to forgive them..and I did. But that doesn't mean I'm suddenly going to shower them in flowers or welcome them into open arms.
I forgave that person, but not because they deserved forgiveness, but because I deserved peace.
Don't remember who said that.
166 · Jul 2020
Just Like Them
Ruheen Jul 2020
I don't want to read their words
I don't want to feel their pain
I just want them to
See that I am
Just like them
I just skip past their words
I don't want to feel this way
But I just want to be
As good as they are
I want them to know
I feel what they feel
I want them to see
I want them to know
I'm just like them
They're just like me
But then why
Can't I
Be
Just
Like
Them?
Wrote this a while ago.
166 · May 2019
something to say
Ruheen May 2019
on the tip of your tongue,
you've got something to say,
but then you forget,
and you have nothing to say.
I was going to write something, but now I don't know what it was.
I hate this feeling.
165 · May 2020
Eternal Loneliness
Ruheen May 2020
Even the Sun will die,
Not in a lifetime,
But sometime,
One day.
Even the Gods have cried,
For a long time
Sometime,
Long ago.
'Cause everything has faded away,
Our love, our hope, our fear
But some things just seem to stay
We are forever...
Forever gone.
We are eternal...
Eternally alone.
Everything good dissipates
Like colours in the wind,
But things that only cause us pain
Stay.
We are eternal.
We are alone.
We may die,
But our memories don't.

Eternal loneliness...
How can I bear with it?
...
164 · Feb 2020
Sacrifice
Ruheen Feb 2020
That's nice
Please run
I'm not gonna lose
Anyone anymore
Cause I don't want
To die alone
I want someone
Next to me
On my death bed
It's selfish
I know
I'm a hypocrite
I'd give up anything
But I won't even live
I'm sorry
It's too much
One and now me
But I'm not even
Supposed to breathe
Six feet under
Dust
Or shadows
Clouds
Or shallows
You didn't ask me to
You didn't have to
I didn’t want
To bury you
So I'm going to let you
Bury me too

No one ever said sacrifice was easy to do
No sacrifice is ever a gift. Not in the long-run anyway.

This is for every book, movie, or tv show, that kills off a character, to save another. They sacrifice that character.

I hate it sometimes. Other times I laugh. Once I screamed. Twice I've cheered.
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