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May 23 · 103
Of sound and sense
Apollo Hayden May 23
I may seem like I'm lost
but only because you're searching for something you'll never find.
I may no longer be able to hear your voice but I can still feel your eyes.
Life is love and I'm so in love with life.
Still dancing with poetry because she never leaves long after those who were here are no longer in sight-
Insight has shown me a whole new world like I'm on a carpet that flys
and my head is the genie so I rub it twice to let out the light.
Shining from the inside out and learning how to move,
leaving you wondering about things you have no business wondering about and so it just leaves you even more confused.
I'm a ravens feather in the wind,
I'm a muses muse,
catching fire whenever writing from the depths,
redirecting my energy to things that make it easier to breathe, instead of feeling spent because I'm up to my chest in spiritual debt.
Nothing to prove...
Nothing to see even though you think I show it all,
but you'll need a few oxygen tanks to dive deep enough to understand just how I breathe.
Till then, with this pen I'll cause inception and use it to get through the layers of your dreams.
To search out your true intentions and see if you really came to love or just to hurt me.
Well this time around my shields much bigger and my sword is sharper too,
so I'm blocking everything and anything that doesn't serve my highest good and cutting into the marrow to look for truth.
I'll be invisible so the things you think you know, you really have no clue.
Though you think you see, your eyes deceive
as I write quietly I silently move.
May 23 · 234
Raven on the wind
Apollo Hayden May 23
Things are changing as they always do.
5G on the rise messing with people's moods till they get confused.
Chips in the skin got 'em permanently plugged in,
summer draws nigh but winter is coming soon.
The wind speaks,
The earth shakes even if you can't feel what time it is.
Your guards low,
creeping in the soul is dark energy from false enlightenment.
All the yoga in the world won't save for when it's time to be stretched out,
to unravel your secrets to see if you really bout what you've been talking bout.
No fruits or greens can ever thoroughly clean you out.
For the most high says it's not what goes in that defiles but what comes out the mouth.
I caught this on the wind so I had to grab a pen and write it down,
even though I know my heart ain't the tidiest, I'll still speak from it while I clean it out.
I see it coming...
people are running and it's even happening now,
while some worship the creator in spirit and in truth, others admire creation more and still have their doubts.
Just look at your hands and the spirals of your finger prints and how it's in the flowers and the stars.
The universe isn't outside of you; the universe is what you are.
Created from an unfathomable mind so divine and full of love,
that he sacrificed his magnificent light so that sin would die and his spirit can live on through us.
The prophets say we haven't got much time and I'm trying to straighten up,
so that I may die just to live in his everlasting love.
Feb 27 · 82
Rough draft
Apollo Hayden Feb 27
Into the universe we place our trust.
Closing our eyes, holding each others hands and falling backwards into us.
Flowing through the milky way,
unbothered and bathing in love...
All of this happening so quickly just from one simple touch.
A sacred act...
An electric attack that crept up our spines.
Bonded through water and air sealed you and I for all of time.
A trust fall into the universe, we're flowing now...
Using our minds more than our mouths.
Getting in touch through telepathy,
even now I know you're hearing me...
I had no time for love,
and you had no time for men.
After one laid his hands on you and you said you'd never place your faith in any again.
But the universe laughed cuz it had other plans
and it's that exact energy that placed you right where I am.
And here we are easily swimming through stars and oh how I wish I could slow it all down...
A love story for the angels to marvel developed at the speed of light,
so beautiful and so profound.
I write into existence stories that'll last until the end of time.
Speaking of someone and no one, causing confusion in the minds of those who find it hard to enter into mine.
It's all about energy and I try vibrating high, so that I bring to life just what I write upon these lines.
The co-creator of my own life, diving deep into my pool of imagination just to keep my world a little more colorful and bright.
So I closed my eyes and wrote exactly what I seen inside.
A love story about someone and no one, all at the same time.
And what's left are crumpled up papers and rough drafts of deleted scenes...
Jan 11 · 120
Keep the peace
Apollo Hayden Jan 11
Baby I'm still learning...
Holding back on these emotions when I get mad
Knowing it's best to think it over before I speak
so I don't say some **** that'll hurt and make you feel sad
Lets not lose sight of our love
Pointing fingers like there ain't six pointing back at us
Lets try and keep this between you and me
cuz people can't criticize what they can't see
But if we must express ourselves let it be creatively
To inspire those who carry heavy loads and so that we're reminded to keep the peace
Yeah let there be peace amongst lovers
Through all storms we should be by each others sides
Holding it down through the rain and thunder
So let the softness of our voices keep the hearts tender and keep our minds at ease
And although they'll be ups and downs
may we always bring it back to common ground
and do our best to keep the peace
Dec 2018 · 82
Taming the flames
Apollo Hayden Dec 2018
Fire inside
like an uncontrollable flame
Emotions like Kerosene
The more I poured out it continues to rage
Started to rise till you could see it in my eyes and it brought on an irreversible change
Now look at me
Covered in ashes, tongue blackened with soot all over my face
I'm a wild fire when you push me
A sensitive soul but I ain't no p*y
If only you knew what you'd be getting into when you test me, maybe you'd tread a bit more softly
Even so, I know I still have much to learn as I stare at bridges that didn't have to burn...
Rummaging through ashes searching for anything left of any worth but its all just consequences in my hands
But I'm a loving man whose waters reach depth that one could never perceive, and so I'm misunderstood...
Just know I'm working on taming this flame inside
If you don't believe me, I wish you would...
Oh yeah, I'm cleaning up the inside
See the flames burn out in my eyes and the smoke begin to clear
IGNORance is ignoring the flames when knowing it needs tending to
but it's getting hot for even me so there's something I've got to do
So I quit fanning the flames and became the change by directing my energy to creative things
The fire is still lit but look what I've created with it
Words so powerful that they can rebuild a bridge
because the past is the past but this is the only way I can get over it...
Nov 2018 · 176
Evolution of Soul
Apollo Hayden Nov 2018
Such beauty there is in new beginnings
The cycle of light dying and rebirthing
Finding much wisdom and strength through the sense of touch in a state of darkness
The subconscious holds the keys of realization and I swim in its sea of connection
Touching you while digging deeper to discover who I am
An evolving soul in this vessel of a man
I've traveled to far off lands without moving an inch
Learned so much about the outer world from traveling more within
From dying and rebirthing
Building and destroying again and again...
Oct 2018 · 781
Tides and Shorelines
Apollo Hayden Oct 2018
See the waves rush in
to grasp a bottle in its hands;
a letter written perfectly protected enclosed by glass
Fire could not do
what this bottle is hoped to do
Sail aimlessly, never to reach the shores again of me or you
Words that were never said have ran out of time and expired
So they are just messages in a bottle lowering and rising with the tides
Never again to reach the shores of you or I
Apollo Hayden Sep 2018
Warm me in winter
If you can remember who and where I am
For we're just like Peter
Longing for neverland
Love may not come till summer
but it doesn't hurt to sit and wonder
if you'll return or fall in love with another
I've got my head filled with you
and I've got these fingers crossed too
It's all superstitious but I will wait to see what it does
Cuz if the mind creates our thoughts
Then maybe I can resurrect the love we lost
Till then there'll be no one in this bed where you have laid
No ones hands will touch this skin
Afraid that you'll feel it on your end
and never come back this way again
You are my soul
So hard to let go
I wondered how we ever went so long without each other before
Cuz when I ment you I
felt like I knew you'd always coming walking through that door
The one in my heart that can never be closed again
Until you return
I'll be missing you my sweet love
My dearest friend...
Apollo Hayden Sep 2018
When the silence gets to you
Hold on just a little while longer, you'll get through
Stillness is better than being  anxious when we know we shouldn't move
Place your mind in the darkness
Close your eyes inside your room
Breathe out and then breathe in to find a calmer you
Sometimes a resting tongue is all we need, to our temples we must always find a way to retreat
Away from the world that can become so busy
We get lost in all the rush
Return to the center and remember peace can be found in the stillness
Oh, yes you will find your way in the darkness
if you're ready and you're willing
There's much to be heard
There's so much to be settled within those emotions
that can create a storm unfit for sailing, or calm the waters for your ship to go floating
Upon the sea of your thoughts
cast your net of introspection
For it is only in times of stillness that we
can find answers to our most difficult questions
Be still...
Sep 2018 · 198
Apollo Hayden Sep 2018
I've been tryna get to sleep at a decent time
but when the clock hits 3:33 I awake and have to write
If I don't it's hard to lay back down and close my eyes,
I know you see these dark circles but it's become something I just can't fight
Ask my old girl, even she knows I'm an insomniac
She probably didn't know this but when she would sleep, I used to write poems with my finger on her back
I wasn't massaging her to sleep, I was writing myself inside her dreams
But that's not about nothing, just something I used to do to try and get myself back to sleep
but here it is 3:33 and I'm not quite sure of what to write anymore
and I know that I will wake up in the morning and not remember this at all
I just gotta write something
Even if it's nothing
My mind won't rest until I've written a few lines
In order to lay down I must lay down these words if I wish to get back to sleep tonight
So please don't mind me
I'm just an insomniac who loves to write...
Sep 2018 · 162
Apollo Hayden Sep 2018
Have you ever felt the pain
from the sting of a scorpion?
It burns and sets in so quickly then eventually leaves you numb.
Takes away your breath and makes it hard for you to breathe.
May cause illusions and confusion till you're left sinking deeper into the sunken place.
Oh, mind your steps and protect your heart cuz if you're ever caught slipping,
they'll wait for the perfect time then pierce you right where the tenderness is.
Beautiful and magnificent, yet dangerous and unpredictabl...
They pull you in till you've become one of them, then leave you searching for your soul.
Every now and then run your fingers across your scars;
They're there to remind you of what's been done and exactly who they are.
If ever you come across a scorpion just admire from afar, take care and take heed in making sure that you're protecting your own heart.
Cuz ain't no pain like the sting from a scorpion.
It'll leave you lost, dazed and confused.
Have you trying your best to not become numb.
Sep 2018 · 202
Moving Constellations
Apollo Hayden Sep 2018
Trace these lines with your fingers and close your eyes,
and feel this map that'll lead you to treasures deeply hidden inside.
A challenging trek but nevertheless, valleys are worth the journeys through, and mountains are worth the climb
to find me patiently waiting here at the seat of my soul, I'll know that you've traveled far and wide.
If you make it here I know you've been sent by the heavenly divine
spirit that resides inside of you, and inside of I.
Remember the soul contract we signed at the beginning of time,
and lets move these constellations out the way until we feel our stars align.
Yeah, we're still living our lives but just know that I'll be waiting, until you find me here inside.
Apollo Hayden Sep 2018
You say I'm too cold.
Well I guess I'll be no use to you in winter when it comes.
Saying my responses are short if I respond at all, and its as if I've gone completely numb.
Oh, but I assure you that's not true, I don't even feel right being this way,
but it's all about protecting my heart at the end of the day.
Who but me is with himself twenty-four hours, three hundred and sixty-five?
I gotta take care of self, and keep a healthy state of mind.
And truth is you've become a broken glass in my eyes; so hard putting you back to the way I thought you were, I've cut myself a million times.
Once the trust is gone my whole world was torn like a punctured canvas of a beautiful masterpiece;
I've been doing my best in still trying to find the beauty that I once seen.
We get so use to things
until we're no longer true to things.
We even abandon wedding rings and forget all our vows,
but even when its falling down I'm Still the only one standing 'round,
getting hit by bricks when I thought we built such a strong wall.
The more we let things inside, the truth uncovered the lies in our eyes.
We were no longer who we were
so I keep silent cuz I've got nothing else to say,
and you do your best to let me know I'm still apart of your soul, in your half-*** ways of reaching out to me.
I guess it's the pride in you, so great that I hope one day it doesn't turn to hate
cuz I still got love for you and I know you know it's true.
But I'm protecting my heart now...
So if you dont come with truth and love, then don't ever come back around...
Sep 2018 · 200
Life goes on
Apollo Hayden Sep 2018
Let it be what it will be then we'll see
if it all was just for nothing, or meant for eternity.
When in search for answers, look to the birds, look to the trees.
See the way they fly and the way branches sway in the wind so effortlessly.
Life goes on and we get stronger by letting go of people and things that need to leave,
and if we don't our wounds will never close and we'll just continue to bleed.
Most bleed red but I bleed black, and it is only when I need to release these words inside of me.
Healing taken place in between the lines every time I write, it ain't hard for you to see.
There's a river of silence that flows out of the left ventricle and into this body of work that soothes all  hurt; burying what has died with these metaphorical lines that be the dirt,
and in time flowers will grow from this soil if I just let it be.
Letting the nature that I'm surrounded by be the guide as I listen to the voice within the breeze.
Sep 2018 · 954
Love or Lust
Apollo Hayden Sep 2018
Are we infatuated,
falling in love or lust?
Blinded from not testing the waters, we jump in not giving a f**k.
So warm it feels, swimming in deceit.
Are we truly tying our souls to those we don't really need?
Oh, these days it's all for the thrill; worried more about the ****** and less bout falling down the hill.
And I ain't new in this so it'll be foolish to seek out emptiness...
Cuz there ain't no forever in temporary bliss.
We feel nothing in their kiss, hit the switch and turned it all off.
Even the lights begin to dim to keep from seeing the truth within our eyes; dead to a stranger because in someone else's heart we're still alive.
Still alive,
Still alive,
In another place when they're by our side.
Heart carried away the brain just to seek satisfaction,
only way to pretend is to remain in a state of detachment.
Are we moving towards love or slowly sinking in lust, losing all motion, getting knocked out of focus because temptation can be tough.
These days the temporary thrills are all that we need, because we don't know who to trust.
Already knowing what it was;
still calling lust love...
Sep 2018 · 668
We're Still Drifting
Apollo Hayden Sep 2018
We're still drifting
Headed towards oblivion
Feeling the effects of our past regrets, but not saying nothing
Would love to start over again but its so hard to repair broken things
If we stare at it long enough maybe it'll fix itself magically
but we're in a space of darkness and silence, all it'll take is for someone to speak
and I have said all that I could, spoke so much that it got hard to breathe
So I'm suspended, floating, roaming 'round on my own and I feel you searching to find but there's nobody here with me
Just me, myself and I getting on with life, with a weak reception in telepathy
Traveling through the astral realm, I could've swore that was you in my dreams
Still, there was nothing but silence as I felt your thighs and hips as we made love so passionately
but even in the act I knew I'd have to wake up eventually
So we're still in this dark and silent ocean, wondering and assuming but not saying one thing...
I guess its what happens when you let go of attachments, and stop trying to control and just let the universe speak
And even though it's so silent, I can still hear because I feel everything
Aug 2018 · 2.0k
Poetic High
Apollo Hayden Aug 2018
Everyday is a day to inspire
To light a flame so my words be the fire
igniting the wick deep within your soul
I could hold all of this in
but it'd feel like the worse sin
Having a spirit of self expression, how could I ever hold onto all this gold?
No one can put money on this, and what Yah bless no man curse
as long as my thoughts are high and these feet are planted upon the soil of mother's green earth
Hitting you with electrical nouns and verbs
Creating a chain reaction
Praying you receive these words, meditate on 'em and keep on passing
Spreading your fire to those in need
For I don't just write but breathe poetry
From today until the day I die
I'll be writing to your heart because I'm
forever on a poetic high
Aug 2018 · 898
Dying Embers
Apollo Hayden Aug 2018
Fading is a light once so bright it warmed our bodies in the bitterness of winter.
Now what's left is ashes of a love story that can never be told.
So cold its difficult to even remember.
Dim lights from embers slowly fade; we have become that change.
In time; out of sight and out of mind, we'll be ashes in the wind.
Having Learned from a faded love, that'll never be felt again.
Aug 2018 · 175
I've been missing you
Apollo Hayden Aug 2018
Pregnant clouds wait in pain to give birth to rain.
The sun leaves to its abode, and one wonders where exactly does it go.
Left us here with weather that used to be fair but all I see is gray skies.
It could change the mood of anyone but still I keep my head up high.
Here it comes, thunder rolls and lightning dances above our heads.
I'll just wait till this storm is over because there's no way I could get to bed.
Instead I sit here at this window thinking of summer and all that has happened up till now.
I'm still practicing at mastering the art of detachment, and I'm making progress somehow.
But this rain can bring alot to mind, it brings what I try to hide out
and so I sit with it, reminiscing I see your face appear in the clouds.
Just my imagination playing games with me.
Got me going through scenarios in my head, thinking bout how it'd be if you never left,
but I won't dwell on it for too long cuz it'll just leave me stressed.
The second I shake the feeling your face turns back into a cloud.
Oh, the things that happen when I reminisce too long and find myself thinking out loud.
I'm alone but not lonely, still in love with you only.
Letting it go but doing it slowly because I've been missing you...
Aug 2018 · 1.6k
Protect your Energy
Apollo Hayden Aug 2018
Take your time beloved,
remember all that we spoke of.
If your heart isn't in it, get out because it isn't love.
We're more than our flesh but when it gets weak it'll start to speak,
tempting us to satisfy it's desires as if it's something we really need.
But you've gotta protect your energy and mind your aura.
For all are not in it to give but only to receive,
leaving you in a lower state which makes it harder to breathe.
That which you possess, keep it high
because not everyone who comes can surf the waves on which you vibe.
Aug 2018 · 1.3k
Reclaiming the Heart
Apollo Hayden Aug 2018
It was never love,
lust causes illusions.
Pulls your heart deep into the sunken place, till all that you're in is a state of confusion.
Building on nothing real,
sacrificing how you feel for the sake of the happiness of someone else, with no reciprocity.
As if they're ashamed of the real you, they try molding you into who they want you to be, just so others can be pleased.
The westernized mind, microwaved and fried, indoctrinated till its living the "American dream," based off of lies.
Always asking "What do you do?" so they know what level of respect to show,
never concerned with your soul, and how bright it must glow.
We need money to survive in this three dimensional life, always taught the ups and downs, left and rights, but never touch on the importance of what's inside.
Always worried about how we look in other people's eyes,
we hold onto nothing except a false reality and relationships built on lies.
But I refuse to pretend to act like this is what life should look and feel like, so I reclaim my heart, climb out of the sunken place and live life with both eyes open wide.
Guarding the heart and protecting my mind.
Mar 2018 · 192
Turbulent Reflections
Apollo Hayden Mar 2018
Within turbulent reflections the sun can still be seen by an altered perception; the storm has already ceased.
In the mist we calmly drift to higher frequencies.

-Apollo Hayden
Nov 2017 · 172
Through the Rain
Apollo Hayden Nov 2017
Misery disappears the more one becomes aware.
Tell me, are you willing to go deep past where the arrow has pierced
and sit within the storm long enough to understand the pain, to realize those tears you've cried helped you grow through the rain?
Before this, life was simple, quiet and easy, you were living without a care,
till an arrow hit your heart and flipped your whole world upside down, woke you up and made you more alert, so learn through the hurt now.
It is in our sorrows where we can be transformed.
Just don't give up even though your heart feels like its had enough; hold on because a new you will be born.
Oct 2017 · 266
Swim Freely
Apollo Hayden Oct 2017
Forgive them if they ever shamed your tears.
These days most people can't even feel out here.
Their hearts have grown cold, turning folks to stone from such evil stares.
Then there's you. Swimming freely in the deep pool of your emotions,
questioning yourself on the low, but I assure you there's nothing wrong.
Others wish they could feel as deep as you do.
Instead they laugh to make you feel bad, but don't let that ever hurt you.
I was a young boy once and they laughed at me;
so hard for their hearts to understand why these waters flow so deep.
My tears weren't from fears or sadness but from being misunderstood,
I grew into a man and acquired a tougher skin,
now most of my tears are turned into words but from them you can still feel the depth within.
So even if you don't understand yourself, I do...
because I've been there, and so I'm still here swimming in those same waters, just know you've got nothing to prove.
If they can't understand your depth, they just weren't meant to.
Just know that your heart is golden and your beautiful mind shines just like a Jewel.
Swim freely...
Aug 2017 · 316
Lunar Light
Apollo Hayden Aug 2017
Like neo in the matrix-
hand up, palm out to stop the bullets being sent my way.
In mid air, inspecting and reconfirming with self, seeing this for what it truly is.
Some stay comfortably asleep, always revealing their true selves when you're seeking knowledge of self;
the agents of the matrix tryna sabotage and block the progress.
Still plugged in, believing the lies of this manufactured world.
Speaking through harmonic tones from one of the four chambers of the heart,
planting seeds in the ears of those who choose to hear, always hitting the mark.
It's the
poetic mystic,
swimming in the subconscious whirlpool created by two fishes;
two eyes closed and one open in triple black darkness, letting intuition lead,
In tune with the feminine energy, listening attentively.
With the Oracle I speak deep within my dreams,
fighting to recover forgotten history while they wishing that I would just shutup and go back to sleep,
but this soul burns with a desire to seek truth and so I continue to seek.
Jul 2017 · 267
Chapter 30
Apollo Hayden Jul 2017
Oh, what chapter shall I call this?
The mergdging of the days move in slow-mo as I glide through on autopilot, stuck in a haze.
Just a few hours of shut eye, then it's back to the every day demands of life.
To process these emotions, I haven't got the time.
It is what it is for now; somebody pray because I sent a few off on the wings of crows, but that was weeks ago and I don't think he heard me.
Not losing faith, just losing strength during this transition, fighting to stay aware of what's going on in all of the haze.
Not sure if I'm sleeping, feels like I'm dreaming because I haven't been feeling wide awake.
Jul 2017 · 433
From Within
Apollo Hayden Jul 2017
You've been up,
you've been down,
you've been left and you've been right.
So familiar are you with the outside world,
but how much time have you spent inside?
To be aware of the world around you, from within let the waters flow.
For what is it to breathe if you don't feel alive from your head down to your toes?
Staying aware of even the subtle things, of which the eyes tend to miss but the mind always reads; the signs and symbols that speak louder than any word off the tongues of men.
You think you can't train it but you can, and if you don't someone else will always be in control,
separating you further from mother earth, dimming the light of your soul.
So wherever you are right now, close your eyes and breathe,
and imagine you're the wind blowing through the trees, flowing in and out as you remain mindful of how you're connected to everything.
Jul 2017 · 355
The Seeker
Apollo Hayden Jul 2017
Oceans of thought provoking reads
sends his mind sailing as he drifts off and dreams.
Words come to life, creating abstract scenes, activating DNA.
Dimensions stretch, never again be(lie)ving in the same things.
Rose colored glasses cracked, hit by the truth, leaving such a painful sting.
When it all subsides, night vision eyes will be what will assist him in his dreams.
It's the desire to seek out these mysteries that keeps him intrigued by intricate things.
May 2017 · 208
October Soul
Apollo Hayden May 2017
Till the day I die
I'll be getting high off life
tightrope walking way up high on every line that I write
Balancing these emotions with the energies of Autumn
May 2017 · 241
Prison of Illusions
Apollo Hayden May 2017
Someone said we had time
but it has always been slipping.
Saturn plays tricks on the mind, making things seem as if they've changed but it has never been any different.
Still we're here, under the same sun repeating old things as if they're brand new, feeling as if they've never been done.
Stuck in a prison of illusion; holographic in every way, trying to set fire to this merkaba so that my spirit can levitate.
And turn this cage into a spaceship to reach worlds I never could reach,
to steal the sands of time out of the illusionist's mind is exactly what I seek.
But I'll still be living, cautiously walking without haste across quicksand with a light heart, because a heavy one will just cause me to sink.
Someone said that we have time, but time has us and it is not what we think.
Destroy the barriers created to cause these illusions, and you'll find that they have always been man made.
Apr 2017 · 213
Ink filled Heart
Apollo Hayden Apr 2017
You tell me to get out of my feelings
and so I let them out.
Tell me, who are you to tell me how to deal with this heart?
There's no way you could see within its dark, there's no way you could perceive so just read and don't try and pick it apart.
I feel it all, and with this pen as my sword I fight through the night, writing till I defeat these demons, until I reach morning light.
I won't ask for your forgiveness if you think it's best I keep some **** to myself.
I'm going to keep working this pen out to maintain my mental health.
We all have our stories and we've all been through some things,
I'm just trying to leave this earth with a lighter heart so I can gain my wings.
So I leave it on the lines, yes I leave it all to cleanse the mind,
for all this heart holds is ink as black as coal, and this diamond of a mind is what makes these words shine.
So just leave me be as I mix my ink with the sands of time, leaving it all here on earth because we can't take anything with us when we die.
Apollo Hayden Apr 2017
Would you have ever wanted to have said one last word if you heard that I moved on?
Out of this flesh, laid it to rest and passed on through the sun.
Why do we hold so much inside our hearts when we know there's much peace to be made? Still in love with those we haven't talked to because it feels like so much has changed.
And I know I'm not perfect, you can put some of the blame on me because I've been walking around acting like a blind man when I can actually see.
Something's wrong here, we used to be so strong and never let anything come in between,
now we let little **** get in the way of maintaining a bond that took forever to create.
But there's still love. I could never have any hate,
you should know my heart could never carry that, I'd be dead within a few days.
Yet still I know I need to let a lot more go
because some people who've been there for me made me the man I am today, so if their reading this just don't take it personal, I've just been dealing with so much pain.
It's just hard to talk sometimes when your the only one living with your mind and no one can understand your brain.
So I've been keeping my distance, but I've been feeling it from those who've kept their distance too, and then it hit me and I said 'if you died tomorrow I'd never be able to say these things to you.'
So I'm coming back around, I swear it...and just wanted you to to know I never stopped loving you.
Mar 2017 · 1.4k
Apollo Hayden Mar 2017
I was right behind that mountain,
now I'm just above its peak,
able to see things for what they truly are and not how I wanted them to be.
In hindsight the sun has shined its light on life's mysteries.
Out of the darkness we must rise; with resilience we will shine.
Mar 2017 · 318
Apollo Hayden Mar 2017
We are weathered this way
So it's best to go with the wind
Not to be swayed by every strong breeze but be open and ready to embrace the change
In the seventh house the soul of the observer sits
Feeling everything so deeply, seasoned by experiences of loves gifts
Creating new roots, uprooting or driving them deeper into the ground
Still gaining more understanding from new truths that we have found
And what is always innerstood is that we must first love ourselves if we ever want to be capable of loving someone else to create healthy growth
Cuz premature love could be like that of a **** and choke out all potential
and we'll never know what could have been
Even so let us continue to learn as this world continues to spin
Apollo Hayden Mar 2017
Mind the skin you touch,
for there's no glove that could ever protect you from the worst of enemies.
Though the flesh is all you may see, you're not that.
But temptation gets so strong till we can't take it, and our bodies are open and bare, left with a heart that's naked.
There's eyes in the dark.
They've been waiting for you, to poke holes at your aura and like a snake they'll slide on through.
Passing from one to another, unaware of what we carry;
If we saw our true selves in the mirror, would the sight not change, or would it be of something scary?
It's hard to tell, even if you know them well their energy can deceive,
till they detach off them and onto your spirit they'll cling.
Sexually transmitted demons, relentlessly scheming to find away to stay alive, waiting for a sleeper to slip by not using their spiritual eyes.
How many souls you got clinging; from the merging of DNA can you still say you feel like yourself? Or is there so many thoughts inside your mind that aren't yours that you can no longer tell?
It's the exchanging of energies that can strengthen us or make us weak,  so mind the skin and if ever you should choose to miss the mark, be aware of the preying eyes,
waiting to cling to you in the dark...
Mar 2017 · 274
Before I reach cloud nine
Apollo Hayden Mar 2017
I see a calmness in your eyes
that gives off a feeling that electicfies; feels like a motherly love.
Its drawing me closer as I try and keep my feet on solid ground,
making sure my hearts not playing tricks on me, by putting my head up in the clouds.
Cuz even a spark can cause a flame that burns, and only fools repeat lessons that they haven't learned
but it all feels so right, still it just ain't my time...
so I cut of the electric before I reach cloud nine, walk away and say goodbye...
Mar 2017 · 373
Straight from the Soul
Apollo Hayden Mar 2017
No bridge will ever be built.
No passion could ever feel as real without love;
there's no stronger force that could ever bind us so, to the point where we're no longer separate but completely whole.
So death to mediocrity, give me that which comes straight from the soul.
Mar 2017 · 306
To ashes
Apollo Hayden Mar 2017
I was gonna come back love, I swear it
I was gonna show and give 110%
but I never knew you were only 75 and hiding it, way behind that smile and those beautiful ocean blue eyes
Instead of speaking up you faked your love for the public, they only saw us in pictures that froze our smiles; they had no clue...
Neither did I but there's something I held without you knowing, because my loves the type to go through hell and high water just to fight for you
Yeah I finally left but I was coming right back
but the way you switched up after nearly gave me a heart attack
but in the end I guess the truth matters more than the pain
Silly of me to think the roots were deep and as thick as the blood in these veins
Titanium walls is what I've built now, around this heart there is no door there is no key
To bring them down you've gotta bring a feeling I've never felt before and show me something that I've never seen
but I was gonna come back love, I swear it
You used to listen when I spoke but you went deaf
So it's time to bury the memories, and burn to ashes whatever's left...
Mar 2017 · 735
Spring Cleaning
Apollo Hayden Mar 2017
I've gotta get you out my heart in time for spring
I Know I said that I've moved on but I've just been faking to make it honestly
Its a mess in here, shattered pieces everywhere that needs to get cleaned
Unwanted memories cover these walls of you and me
Causing more bad than good feelings from what used to be
I've been lying and taking my sweet time with reodering everything...
So many memories that need to go, to keep a healthy soul but it's so hard when the heart just won't let go, I think I'm turning cold...
It's not that I want to because I want to be ready for when love comes around again
It's just that I thought you and I would always remain the best of friends
It's such a strange thing, these feelings of you I've been hoarding, leaving no room for something new
and spring is right around the corner so I've got to rid myself of you
It's not something I want to do but it something I have to
Though I've already lost you I don't want to lose my mind too
I've gotta get you out my heart in time for spring...
Feb 2017 · 340
Bad Reviews
Apollo Hayden Feb 2017
Someone had asked if I knew you,
I said I did...
So I tried saying your name but the sound struggled to fall off of my lips.
I tried and tried again but I couldn't remember where it was I knew you from.
Went searching for you in my heart and immediately became numb.
Felt a sharp pain inside my brain before things went blank; I couldn't pick you out in a crowd...
Thought it was you but I seem to be the one who's fading now.
If the beginning of a movie is beautiful but ends so terribly, then what moments will be so vivid inside your memory?
Will you leave the theater speaking of it for some time, or will you do your best to erase the whole experience from your mind?
I can't get that energy back but it caused her face to blur, making it easier to forget whatever we really were.
I tried to say it one last time but it got caught on the tip of my tongue, and it was there where I gave it up, then my whole body went numb...
Feb 2017 · 340
Divine Paradox
Apollo Hayden Feb 2017
I am but a guest inside this vessel,
staying for as long as the breath of life permits.
Often I n I come to these windows to view just how beautiful this life truly is.
Former extrovert turned introvert, these days I sit in solitude listening to echoes of recitations of poems in my head.
The resounding sound of melodic music notes keeps the calm within the beat of my heart,
pushing me further from attachments and pulling me  deeper into the dark.
Reminding me that I am nothing, yet I am everything.
Feb 2017 · 304
Stains of Love
Apollo Hayden Feb 2017
Wash me off your skin before you sin.
For your face will tell it all if ever you should lie down with him.
Wolves will morn as the blackened sky is torn, and pour out a warth if you should ever let him pass.
Pleasurable things can sting and hearts can deceive the mind, making it believe that we need a stranger in our beds to keep us warm at night.
And I'll be the one with chills on my skin if ever you let him in.
Even your body will reject, knowing that we were more than just our flesh.
You'd be causing the cracks if you're ever in the act, they'll appear on my heart just to know that you gave up all hope and our souls will drift apart.
I'm not one for collecting so I'll keep this vessel clean, in hopes that one day you'll wake up and feel and know how you're the only one for me.
A curse you'll put upon whomever you look in the eyes that isn't me, and time will tell the truth, that you let him in only to realize you're still so empty.
But if you still choose to proceed, first, wash me off of your skin.
So that the heavens do not cry from such an abominable sin.
Feb 2017 · 1.3k
Ethereal Beauty
Apollo Hayden Feb 2017
On days such as this
of reminiscent times viewed on rewind
The slowing down of details missed gives sight to the blind
Wider eyes letting in ethereal beauty to a much grander design
to where divinity is intricately knit deep within the fabric of life
Feb 2017 · 485
Apollo Hayden Feb 2017
Like a thick mist that just won't pass I'm getting caught up in the haze.
Heart on its knees fighting to beat, still confused and questioning things in my brain.
I still have puzzle pieces but not enough remnants to make sense of anything.
Love lingers still, while I wake up every day out of a dream that I thought I was wide awake in.
So in the words of Sade,
I've got to wash you off my skin.
Feb 2017 · 572
Apollo Hayden Feb 2017
No matter what, I won't let go of you.
You make my winters warm and my summers so memorable.
The second I hear you speak to me
I scurry for a pen and let you out through the ink on the sheets.
Already written on the walls inside my head,
I let you out so that I may not be so stressed.
You're therapy, the air I breathe; they'll always hear you when I speak.
You're like calm waters for a heart that's filled up with raging seas,
and that's how we connect, the magnetism so deep that I let you do the pulling as I let the pen bleed.
There's no difference between this blood and ink, within both life is carried.
So when the flow stops don't burry me, burn me along with my word's
and throw my ashes into a swift wind,
So I can be heard across the universe, and speak to those whose inner worlds are listening.
Feb 2017 · 309
Apollo Hayden Feb 2017
Thought I was swimming in high levels of emotions
Till I stood up to find it wasn't even knee high
How deceptive the heart can be to throw such illusions
Can't even trust it sometimes
Even my own mind plays tricks on me
Only when I stood still In the emotions I used to swim in
was I able to let the truth in by letting it reflect back at me
So shallow they were that I was able to see my own two feet
Oh no, I guess it really wasn't that deep...

The mud has settled and I can see myself again, shining, still with ravens in my eyes
I guard my heart, balancing the light and the dark
Trying not to tilt for too long on one side
Feb 2017 · 589
Apollo Hayden Feb 2017
She always had dilated pupils but never did drugs like that.
Only now I realize that her body's been trying to get its soul back.
She's got a calcified third eye with a drawn on one on her forehead for
the fools who don't think deep enough to know she isn't spiritual, because her soul has left her body a long long time ago.
Eventually truth comes to light, and truth is she had no eyes to see that we are so much more than body and bones, and the blood that we bleed.
She fools you with the things she eats, even the sound of her voice can be so sweet, but nothing could be further from the truth;
her eyes always proved that she's hollow through and through.
She still wins though, because only I know, only I felt, only I could see the truth of the real person who lied deep underneath the skin.
She's hollow through and through, having no soul within.
Feb 2017 · 1.2k
No mediocre love
Apollo Hayden Feb 2017
I don't want no mediocre love,
give me more of a 1 corinthians 13.
I need to know you'll draw nearer when heavy or small storms come,
not lose your sh*t, get scared of the thunder and leave.
See, love is a learning thing and we'll need water for it to grow,
we can't just plant our seed, walk away and expect it to grow on its own.
We've gotta clear the pathways, rewire and connect inside our domes, because without communication we'll both feel as if we're all alone.
But if forever can be seen within the roots, then no storm will ever be hard to get through.
I said it's all about forever, it's all about the roots.
If they're deep enough then there's no storm that will be too rough, and love will not be moved.
So give me that 1 corinthians 13 and we'll till the ground and build from a strong foundation.
Any other type just won't feel right, and will only be wasting our time.
Feb 2017 · 344
Slow it all down
Apollo Hayden Feb 2017
It's the balance that keeps.
One way of perceiving just won't do,
so slow it all down to get a different point of view.
I know that things won't stay the same because this world is always changing; the joy inside this pain will assist the growth.
So I draw close to the most high and meditate on his word and cope,
healing in time by widening the scope.
Feb 2017 · 297
If you want me to
Apollo Hayden Feb 2017
I'll let go if you want me to,
disappear I will, in this rain.
Can't forget about everything though, so I'll lock it all up in a safe place and throw the key away.
So I'll let go if you want me to, all you have to do is just say,
and I'll respect your wishes, say my last goodbye and turn and walk away.
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