Cut open

Me

Found

The scared little girl

I didn't want

To be seen

If I'm faking

Okay

Enough

Will I be

Fine

please don't forget to think of me.
remember me when you feel the sunlight
reach your hair and grow warm, when
it hits your face and you're taken
aback and blinded as it pours steadily
into your eyes. don't look into the
sun like I did. it feels warm
and inviting on your skin, but if
you let it pour into you for
a moment it will take years until
you can see. the sun in the
end is nothing more than hot gas
burning in the distance. don't close your
eyes to it either, don't avoid it,
but cast your eyes down as it
climbs high over you. and watch from
it's setting to rising how the air
changes and it grows cool, cool but
you are not alone. you are no
longer alone as you allow your eyes
to raise and the moon reflects a
lighter glow you can understand, and scattered
about it are kaleidoscope cousins of the
sun that sought to burn. you remember
me when you realize these acts of
separation are safer than the sun direct.

i bleed toxins/ don't
you  taste  them/  in
your    water/    in
your wine/ on
your
lips/
it's a
ma-
tter/
of time

~My heart is your inkwell
It will beat for you alone
Until you write it off
And the ink dries~

Mine got ripped off
All that remains
Is one word

CAUTION:

I claw at my skin                                                                                                  
and the black leaks out                                                                        
and I watch it snake                                                        
down from my throat                                  
and over my chest                    
until the streams  
                eventually pool
                       at my feet

                                My mind cries
         out echoing
between my ears
until it spills                      
out through my eyes                    

I am in an ocean                          
  dark and grey                

The black      
of my heart                
swirling around                      
the salt                                                
from my eyes                                                    
I can't escape                                                                    
the current I've                                                                                
trapped myself in                                                                                    

And I drown

the icicles drip your name into the snow                      
                                                       you're *beautiful

my lungs hurt
from screaming

I haven't eaten in two days,
Barely sleep at night
And now I'm crying
Crying and I want to *****

~ ~ ~

I love you without end
No point of cease
You're everything
That I will ever need

"Stay safe,
Stay safe,"
You beg of me.
I wish to comply,
But I can only cry,
"Don't you see?"*
I can't control
Or guarantee
My thoughts,
My safety.
You tell me that
You don't want me
Hurt,
You don't want me
Gone...
But I'm charred, burnt.
Wrong.

I started having dreams
again, I hate dreams,
they are a mockery
of my reality.
But once I decide something,
as indecisive as I am, I
don't get derailed easily.
I suppose my dreams know
I'm hooked, and that's
why they've returned.
I wake up empty
because I hate fake, and
that's all the dreams are.
I open my eyes
and they water with longing,
as they're fueled by desire
that leaves me ever wanting
when I wake. People tell me
I should practice restraint, stop
wearing my heart on my sleeve.
They're right, I know.
I have a brutal habit of leaving
pain in my wake and with me
everywhere heartbreak I take.
I barely sleep as it is,
now I'm afraid to. I'm afraid
of the dreams
and what I want
because for two people
to want the same thing...
well that never quite happens
with me.

~

I've had my heart broken so many times,
I think maybe I just like to see myself hurt.

They tell me I'm ugly

She says I look ridiculous

They tell me I'm fat

She says go **** yourself



As if I don't know

As if I don't want to

Please someone come hold me
It's cold here, I'm lonely
Trapped in this house
Please just get me out