I gaze at the stars
and yet, none of them matter
I look back to you~

I’m gonna die.
I’ve made my peace with that
it’s fine, it’s simple,
peaceful,
that.

but why's it seem like lately
always growing, ever strangely,
this feeling,
that I’m walking
drawing closer
to an end
that might come early.
worried? surely.
but I’m not;

I’ve seen it coming,
slowly.
Seen it dawning,
seen me falling,
crawling closer,
to an end;
that distant friend.

I won’t pretend
I fear it.
For closer, as I near it
I can feel my spirits calming,
resting,
silently;

finally.

Angry planet, bark!
Bleed-out into the dissonance.
Light yourself on fire, now
and sprint the ******’ distance
to the end.

Reckless runner, run away,
Blaze a path down broken roads
make that choice and never stray
run until your heart explodes.

Beat the pavement,
beat that past,
what a joke
you’ll never last.

Sea of Sorrows,
let me drown.
Fill my lungs,
and drag me down.

I’ll swim, a soul
awash in still,
awake to dream,
my new Bastille.

As life shapes the land
From a dream to something more
I shall shape myself

Sober again,
Sombre again,
paranoia creeps out
the closet again

little bit of panic,
little bit of Popov
lose a little pride
but control yourself

take hold, yourself
never let your thoughts wander
or you lose yourself;

don’t lose yourself

fetid skin,
so worn and thin.
it bears not hope,
to keep it in.
Awash beneath,
a sea of sin.
You'll go without,
and die within.

I let another day slip by
do I really have a reason?
was it Too tough to try?
...
I haven’t had a good dream in years
but I’m well-passed mourning
and I’m Too tough for tears.
...
But yet I’m still here
I’m still here and breathing.
Don’t need dreams
and I don’t need meaning.
Don’t need anything,
despite this feeling
of change;

I do want meaning
and I do want purpose
but it doesn’t change the fact-
that I’m so ******* nervous,
for the future, I’m fearful
the past, I’m forgetful
presently I’m panicking
the situation’s stressful

I'm not asking to be successful...

I just want to be happy.

Harken to the Herald
of the great fetid maw.
watch him struggle
for his sanity
with tooth, and claw.

A Baphomet of ******* men,
enigma, to his brothers.
Listen to his blasted tongue
and know his every word’s another’s.

for yes he speaks in silvered words
it's known by even chirping birds.
But no one’s seen
the broken dream
that all his words have come from.

My mind ebbs and flows
Torn between the sun and moon
I long for eclipse

I sit and sulk a seeping sorrow
spreading through the scorching sand
as silence slowly fills the land.

and deep beneath;
a squalid tomb
a dark and smoky little room
it’s there I sulk
and there I brood
It’s where I’ll likely meet my doom

Gawk at the silence
I see the pattern too well
I am not the one

I am waiting to die
as I sit here staring,
blind, and uncaring
I am waiting to die.

For I once had dreamed
of a world where it seemed
that someone like me had a future;
I don’t

Though not for my failings
but simply for boredom-
as my mind is ailing
I pray for post-mortem.

Crack of thunder,
scent of rain.
Wait for spring
to ease my pain.

Ease yourself,
my addled brain.
Wait for spring,
for sounds of rain.