I feel your hands
all over my thighs,
as you rub and caress me
I feel my heart rate rise.
I try to think about something else
but I simply can't be bothered right now...
You're all I'm wanting right now.

I want to be close to you
as close as I can get
close enough to hear your heartbeat,
close enough to feel your breath hitting my neck..
when I'm feeling this way
my heart races always...
if only you were here,
you'd hear me whispering your name.

I really dislike these changes you've made,
while some are okay
others have ruined my day.

I have so many dreams
of you and I together
waking in each others arms
smiling at one another
and I want nothing more
than to make them happen.

I want to hide in a place
that makes me feel comfortable
under the bluest waves,
isn't so sufferable.
What's hidden beneath them,
is the most stunning
these colors and beings
could never send me running.
With my eyes wide open,
I'd float forever
face down,
I'd sink into deeper waters.

I can see the outline of the mountains
in the sky through the fog
it's such a comfort,
knowing they will never disappear.

Another day passes
only this time,
with rain.
Just a few more days
and my eyes will meet yours...
*again.

I want to lay beside you
and hold you when you're uneasy.
I want to be there when you're cold
and hug you until you go crazy.

And when you're sad
I want to make you feel better.
And when you're mad
I want to tickle you into laughter.

I want to comfort you.

My past always finds
a way to drag me down
it sinks into my mind
during the worst times
why do you haunt me, always?
When I finally think
yeah, I'm over things,
a new memory appears
and hurts me.

I am a stupid poem
that does not rhyme
with broken lines
and slurs formed inside.
I make you feel confused
you want to correct me
but after trying
you're anything but amused.
Because I am a stupid poem.

I wish it were him instead of my blanket holding me.

I just want to disappear sometimes.
shut the blinds, and roll over
until I can sleep no longer
I'm tired, of always worrying.

Under the gazebo,
you sang in silly cadence
while patting along on your lap
you smiled so happily.
You made my heart beat rapidly
and you still do, so easily
even now just remembering
my heart pounds without warning.
It yearns for the memories to repeat.
So often, I'll lay and reminisce,
even so my heart begs me to rewind,
I feel it crying for what's inside.

do you ever feel lonely?
they say that it's healthy
but I'm unsure of that.
Despite my liking alone time
too much of it can hurt me.
It makes me feel so lost, and empty
until my tears fall endlessly.
After crying I usually find solace,
but this time I just want to cry more.
Which makes me feel *pathetic.

This Jellyfish that floats along
trying to confidently stay strong
is distinctly sad, so often it feels like
it could just sting itself,
but it does *not.

It floats along.

I hate words,
they never come out right.
They always feel slurred
or awkwardly uptight.

stupid girl is me.

tired;
I want you here.
I want to lay with you
and not be scared.

I know
it's not much longer, right?

You light up my world
and scare away the thunder.

Am I insane?
I simply can't tell.
Always chattering away,
but just to myself.

Behind the walls
and underneath the blankets,
there lives a ravenous girl
who dreams up a place
that's not full of loneliness.

It's been so long
since a song
could make me cry.
my eyes were so dry,
For what feels like a long time.
My heart beats so fast
as this song escalates
and I hear it crash
It pulls me backwards
until I remember pain,
then twists me around
and reminds me
of when I could touch your face.

I'm tired of you haunting me.
If only you'd let me sleep.
Instead of the noises
and voices that are still unfamiliar...
I wish you'd remind me of his.
I'd rather be drowning in a sea I cannot drown in, that only leads to an endless abyss
than wake up in a panic, reminded of this.

The one that I love,
he's so sweet.
He lights up my dreams,
as I close my eyes to sleep.

His smile is a sight
that I always long to see.
Even when I'm upset,
his laughter spreads to me.

When things become tough
and rain comes crashing down,
despite not knowing how to swim,
I'll never let him drown.

How dare you.
How, DARE, you.
Try to talk to me...
as if you don't remember anything.

I trusted you back then
when I needed a friend,
you were nothing of the sort!
You were the opposite.

I try my best, I try really hard
to leave grudges in my past...
but I have a dreaded feeling
that this grudge for you, may last.

Pretending to be there for me,
patting my back so comfortingly.
When really all you were doing
was luring me in.

Down to last second.
Before I was faint,
I swear I remember
the smile on your face.

I can't stand it.
How easily you decided my fate.
How do ******* live with yourself?
You make me feel things I can't bare to say.

I'll be nineteen soon,
then twenty...
I wonder how far
I'll have come by then.

That age isn't so far away,
what's so special about it?
Nothing.
It's a number that signifies how far I've come.

That's about it.

I could sit and ponder,
how much longer
will I have to wait
until I'll see your face...
but I know it won't be forever
though I swear I'd wait that long.
You're the only one who truly sees me.
You make me feel real,
I'm not just an object taking up space
in this world I have a place, in your heart.

My poetry
may appear to be
written goofily
but they mean a lot to me

I lay in bed, drained
I hear the thunder
preparing us all
for the rain.

I look at my wall,
at the Jellyfish that hang.
My heart flutters and I smile
as I remember who is always by my side.

I tear up as I recall you and I standing so closely, with this song playing.

i continue to update this page
to exclaim to something or someone
how i'm feeling,
whether it be about him, her or me...
depression, love or feeling happy...
sometimes i need an outlet.
without one, i can become tragic.

the music playing
in the back of your mind,
turns into screams
as your day becomes night.

twisted and burning
in your dreams, I can see you fading.
spinning around, crying out
as you fall to your knees.

*no matter what,
when night comes,
the darkness finds me again and again...
and again.

I touch the side of my face
as I shutdown my life,
my cheek is wet...
I stare straight ahead
as the screen goes black.
I sit for a moment
and cry.

Seeing your smiling face
makes me smile so happily.
Hearing you laughing,
leaves my heart racing frantically.

I'm warm and flustered...

I know if I don't sleep soon
I won't wake up until late in the afternoon
but I can't stop thinking about you
and how you smiled at me
as the distance between us disappeared.
I know it won't be much longer,
but I miss you.
I miss watching you sing
and hugging you until a song was over.
I remember your heartbeat
and feeling nervous as you found mine.
I want to be close to you again.

night time drugs are kicking in
i tried so hard to stay awake until the end
and now that the end has come
i am sad, i can't wait until your smiling face
will be so close to mine again.

Sinking...
deep into the dark blue ocean.
I see myself slowly disappearing.
When the waters become this unclear,
when I feel scared, you're my Atolla.
My georgeous light in this sea of darkness.

Knowing there is a piece of you
always thinking of what could've been,
makes me feel this strange jealousy...
and I hate it.

I love the way the the moon rises and kisses the setting sun, between the sky touching mountains.

Your upbeat soul broke through my shy walls and gave me a reason to sing again.

The ocean,
I've only seen it once in my life
I've touched the world, once,
that holds the most beautiful creatures...
The ones who make me feel something
that I wish I could feel all the time.
These creatures that never
make me cry for the wrong reasons.
They're beautiful and helpless
I'm not sure if they can think or imagine
but if they could I'd want them to know
they mean more than they'll ever know, **to me.