"Everyone's a protagonist of their own
story. That's what I thought", he said,
turning to face me:

"Until I met you.
Deliberately ruining
everything you succeed in.
Making destruction of yourself be art.
And allowing nobody else to learn it."

Unprompted,
he kept walking towards me.
After a few steps,
he stopped in his tracks.

"Are you not tired...

...of being the villain,
in your own story?"

I left out a single sigh,
and turned around.
Then I kept doing
what
I do best,

And stabbed myself in the heart.

i write empty words
with a lot of emotions in me;
hidden meaning only i see.
it's the only place where i can hide
from the slick voice that
makes me leave others behind.
the voice, it says
it's just my nature
but i'm not so sure,
though it can feel like home;
i'm not so sure,
i want to hurt anymore.

the ground is shaking.
a needle pierced my heart.
my lungs are ripped, too.
bleeding through the holes.
bleeding out of my mouth.
bleeding out, i'm bleeding out.

please, don't make a sound
as i lie on the ground
because everything familiar
is now disappearing
and i'm left like a stray dog
here, on this shaky ground.

the ground is shaking.
the earth is trembling.
the ground is shaky.
the earth is heavy.

don't leave me alone
in this pool of tears
as my world burns down,
as my temple for you
crashes down.

I thought he was perfect.
He's got the cutest smile, a handsome face; yet not too hot so other girls would steal him.
Smart, aces the exams without studying, too.

Clever, cute, loyal to death and loves me, too.
What more could I possibly ever wish for?

The thin layer of sweat covers his body, glittering in the last dusk's breath.
Sparkles of silver are in his eyes, as if God himself got down on Earth to pour galaxies in his wooden eyes, which are prospecting me.

So, what's the missing puzzle?
You love him, don't you?

Then look at you.

Gazing at the reflection in the mirror, quietly standing.
I look at the dark circles under my eyes which are expanding, following my nose line by the parallel.

Then I look at my nose which I've always hated; the uneven line, like the messy sea in sky's rage.

Then I look at myself.

And I rage, too.

So where's the missing puzzle?
Why does he care?
Why do I?
Ah, youth - well you wore me thin,
And, by the skin of I teeth I'd almost felt something.

So there's the missing puzzle.
Me.

I even showed him how I look without makeup. I showed him my madness and my crazyness which would shoo any man away.
Why's he here?

I'm not perfect like him.
And I can't stand, oh, I can't stand the pressure.
I look at my curvy body and stretch marks, lining my legs and showing me my fight with life I'd quit from for another reason.

Why me?

And now,
The mirror's smudged with blood
And I'm sitting on a lonely chair,
A lonely soul, in a lonely room,
With a lonely mind in this lonely world.

I don't know love no more.
How could I?
I take out the mirror bits from out of my fist, silently observing.

Then I look at me.

The face of a disappointed warrior with a long past of fighting her own life,
And it might seem dramatic to you,
But I've had a lot of things on my mind
Which you wouldn't find on the normal silver plate.

I'm not perfect, nor I plan to be.
I see through the lies caused by the love veil, and I choosed to rip it off, but it's not falling down.

And I'm afraid,
I'm afraid if I stay;
When will he
Take it
Off?

they told me the sky was my limit,
then they dragged me through the mud.
they beat my brain up to dust,
flipped me upside down.

but, with dirt in my eyes,
i stared at the clouds
and my breath suddenly stopped:
the golden clouds, kissed by the sun,
stretching across the blue, blue sky,
brought me peace;
even for just a single moment
with the breeze softly brushing against me
their soft voices convinced me,
"You will be alright."

Well God help thy soul
you did what was wrong
unlocked the forbidden chambers
and ye shall never find thy spirit
thou lost it underneath
Now there is no such thing as an escape
Thou have been trapped
.
.
.
Look at thy mortals' sky
The stellar dust long dead
Feel the tingling of fear
the calling of the gone
Now there is no such thing as an escape
Thou have been trapped
.
.
Thy spirit is wandering like
Seagrass in the waves,
Like leaves on the cold,
colourless wind
Amongst the Sun and the Moon
The silver dust and rain
Now there is no such thing as an escape
Thou have been trapped
.
Have you ever been
Lost
Yet?
Now,
There is no such thing
As an escape
Thou
Have been
T r a p p e d

Love is blind.
For so long, I thought
That I must love someone,
That a lover is fierce,
That the love's easy and obvious.
But, I realised with time;
That you can love, not just a person
But a whole world out here
--To love the small things--
The way leaves travel on the wind,
And the way that
A rose petal is discovered
By a ladybug's love.
For so long, I jumped to love
But I didn't feel it
I didn't quite catch the hang of it
And with years, I
Felt love towards
My own flesh and blood
But I didn't realise it's importance.

One day, I have awoken
From a terrible nightmare
Just to see how you can
Love without feeling,
Not appreciating your life.

After that day, I soon
Learned to love my own tears
Because I could feel
At least something
And when a day came
That I felt my soul
It soon fell apart
Burned, crashed, washed out,
Smashed, killed, used,
Tortured, made fun of, bruised,
But I learned to love love.

I unraveled the confusion and
Accepted my flaws and merits
I felt the warm blood throughout my veins and the beautifully sounding beat of life

As I finally realised, I was alive

After that day, I appreciate
The small things
Learning
How to
Love, is loving
Life
---------------------------
[nim]

i'd like to tell you
that i'm fine
but I'm
too torn apart
to talk

traces of you
are left in my poems
like a sneaky ghost
that quietly haunts me

like coffee stains
on a white tablecloth;
like a desire path
that leads to a cliff

i could delete my poems,
throw away the rags
and jump off a cliff

but i can never delete you
or the love i had for you

so, long live in my poems
amongst these empty halls
cheers for the good times
i hope i won't remember them at all

enjoy being a ghost
in the name of the love
that once was

"take my hand", I said
but you couldn't catch me
because I've already
turned into dust
and now the only way to get me
is to salute the wind
and I never wanted you to know
but that's why I lived;
the only reason was
the hope that one day
you'd see what I see,
miracles and beauty;
that you'd love life through nature
I put my soul into making it better

but yet, I never thought
you'd never salute my migrating grave
I never expected you didn't care
never saw you don't think of me
never saw, never saw
you don't love me

maybe it's better,
that I've turned into dust.

there's a calm rage inside of me
and a furious gratitude

what a big writer you are,
with tears serving you as ink
in the end, always
leaving nothing behind

You can learn to love,
But
You'll never learn how to fall in love

tonight, your aura shines
the moon enhances your light
and our love gets intertwined;
your gasps fill my lungs with awe
as you lay there, more beautiful than ever
to your angelic energy, i surrender
even though i may be the devil

your darkness swallowed me
your magic tangled me in wires
your fingers with black nails shut my eyes closed
your knife pressured my larynx
your ways left me confused
your energy left me tired,
your life left me dead.